8, 9, 3
by Hayal Nazim
Summary: She had a dysfunctional mind and he had a fiery personality with a quick hatred to boot. She would die for him and he would kill for her. So, what exactly does it take for an orphaned girl to stay with a brutal yakuza prince?
1. Interlude I: Katagi

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Interlude I:_

_Katagi_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story except for the ones I made up! Go me! Woo. This also goes for the rest of my chapters as well so there got that over and done with.**

A/N: Hey hey! How is everyone out there? Is it just me or does the whole Inu fanfic section need some wind put back into its sails? Nothing much is happening around here lately so here ya go with a new one people! Yay! If anyone knows something more on the subject that this fic is based on than me (I haven't known much but I'm working on reading more and more things. What can I say? organized crime of _any_ country has a pull on me and is very interesting. If I weren't already an English major my ass would be a sociology major just so I could study this shit formally.) please feel free to share and share some more with me in reviews and such. It would be greatly appreciated. :-) So here we go and keep in mind that this is not going to be wholly historically accurate on the basis that…hey I had to put Inu characters in there instead of the real-life versions. ;-p

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_**It**__ must be in the way they walk or how they dress because other than that you would never know they were among us. How else could you define a separatist society in the midst of an even larger and more global unit? These people were different from the mainstream even when they were first developed in the ancient days of our country. They appear so normal, yet are so different at the same time._

_"We are a double-sided coin."_

_Something he would tell me when I questioned his motives with our people and others we encountered. He was my lover and future as well as someone whom no other would want to mess with. If you were his enemy you wrought yourself into a world of pain and misery that you hadn't known before, however, if you were me you received nothing but blinding affection and astronomical grace. Sure, he was someone who had a cold personality with an even harsher reputation to boot, but he was someone whose life meant something to me even though others would assuredly mark my claim. He was fierce and noble, kind and harsh, painful and intelligent. All these things could be used as an accurate account of whom he always will be._

_If you were into the physical aspect he was nothing short of god-like grace and beauty rolled into one. Long silver hair always tied back with a black ribbon when attending school; loose and free when in the confines of our bedroom. Eyes the pitch of amber and gold with a hint of brown when you neared the center of his eye although he always denied this fact and vehemently told me they were the essence of the purity from the finest gold. Whatever. A strong face but smooth planed at the same time that was adorned from his demon heritage of a crescent moon on his forehead with stripes on his checks. Powerful arms and legs used to hunt down the unwilling and unruly who were sentenced to death by his father. A muscular but tall stature that just seemed to fit into his personality and gait. Any girl would want him for his looks, but his personality was a different aspect altogether._

_As I have said harshness is a requirement for this man to walk upon Japanese pavement. Arrogance seemed to always be in the wake of his cold personality and often times made me roll my eyes constantly but also, at the same time, with a smile upon my face. However, his darker side could appear at a moments notice. His face would give him away when he needed to leave for 'business' and it would be scored with anger, but he would always answer the call no matter what was going on. It was a hassle sometimes to be with him but my love for that man never faltered even in the priority of his father needing him. When he was called away I would always smile, give him a soft kiss on the cheek and tell him to come back to me with all of his fingers. To this he would always give me a pointed look and a goodbye._

_It never ceased to amaze me how he could always act so nonchalant about what he did for a living. Of course, again, his personality would come back into play at this point. He was a cold person yes, I won't deny that, but with me there was and would always be an exception. He loved me, I knew even though he never said it except for the one time when I think he thought I wasn't listening. I knew though and I made it a point to tell him when I deemed it appropriate. He never was one for the admission of love but he would certainly show it when he would take care to listen to what I said and what I would show interest in. He once bought me a ring with intentions that never came to be._

_I never took advantage of the fact that he had millions of little dollar signs adorning his bank account. As a matter of fact I never wanted to touch the stuff and when he would offer me gifts I fervently declined them, but his smirk and talk about how he wanted me to have nice things would always turn me around. His actions proved more of his love for me than even the time he had spoken it aloud. Of course some of the members of the society didn't want him seeing me, though most of them had no admonitions about my personal status for the whole society Sesshomaru existed in was never wanting in a personal background; it always depended on the labor you could put out and the money you could make them and this was his greatest asset. He was wanted and his father was proud to head the company with his son to take control later in his life._

_He didn't want to particularly take over for his father, but he was loyal to his family and that had made the decision for him. He even spoke these feelings to his father who dismissed him on the fact that it was, assuredly, his son's duty. So, Sesshomaru would relent and forget the subject for another day. I never pressured him to quit the business he was in even though my main concern was for him. Call me selfish, but I dealt with the fact of who he was a long time ago and I was not about to turn my back on him any time soon. I was in love with being loved by him that I didn't care who was in our way. He was a good son and his father was a nice man as well he just couldn't see past his own thoughts on what his son should be for if he did he would have seen the signs of what would come about years later. He respected his father and tried to show the older man that the business could go on with someone else, but even though Taisho would disagree with his son he also knew deep down that if I were there to support Sesshomaru, he would be just fine. He wanted his sons to be auspicious and not have to live impoverished like he did and I think that's why he pushed his eldest son so hard into the family trade; he feared his own sons' life fallout._

_No matter the presence we were put in or how people would talk about me and Sesshomaru we never paid any attention. We went about our lives the way we wanted to live them except for the whole ' I need to go' aspect to our relationship we were just as normal as anyone else even though the society held us close to them and was, to an extent, accepting it in their own way. Society however, would not see us (him in particular but I was guilty by association) as normal for we had nothing to contribute to society but we had each other and love was what we wanted to keep for the rest of our lives._

_My name is Rin Minamoto and I am a mafioso daughter. My boyfriend was a yakuza._

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A/N: So how is the first chapter? Are you intrigued yet? Well hell I hope you are because you should review it now! At the end of every chapter where I use terms you don't know I'll be sure to **bold** them and give you the best definition/explanation that I can alrighty? Ok review!

**katagi-** civilian or otherwise regular citizen of Japan

**yakuza-** of course it's the mafia society of Japan. A.K.A gakudo


	2. Hell and Malevolent Influences

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 1:_

_Hell and Malevolent Influences_

A/N: Now I hope you guys liked the first chapter even though it was very short. I didn't want to make it a prologue for some reason so it was an interlude instead. I don't know why I made it that way I just did....my brain is weird. Anyway, here's the next chapter where you get to see all Sesshy and Rin! Yay! This is set _before_ the first interlude so just keep that in mind.

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**Clicking** the front of her school issued black flats on the lip of the front door she watched as the snow packed under them quickly dispersed and melted on the warm floor underneath. The cold warranted a chill to run down her spine but she ignored it while laughing at the impenetrable remarks the man next to her was making. Her laughter flitted through the entirety of the house and looking up at the enormity as she always did with wonder and ah. She had been here many times before and his large estate home was nothing short of magnificent.

"She just would not leave me alone. I swear you humans are too much into the whole looks aspect. If people really knew who I was personality wise they would think twice about asking me if they could go out with me."

Smiling at him she couldn't help but giggle a little bit more than normal. Woman and even some men were always after Sesshomaru and of course they could back off but they never did. He certainly had a point about humans being interested in the outward aspect of others, but also she knew he would never be without his 'fans' she just got over it and knew that the only person he was interested in was her.

He looked over at her with a sour expression and it only fueled her laughter even more. He was so frustrated that he was fussing with his own standard issue black shoes. He never fumbled with anything although it would seem that his anger was getting the best of him. True that if anyone knew him they would hate his personality…she didn't. She loved his protective ways (even though sometimes it could borderline overprotective) and she loved his cocky attitude that made her roll her eyes. She loved him alone no matter what form or what he looked like. So deciding to remedy the situation before he punched a whole in the wall, she slowly approached him and gently took his face into her hands and gave him a quick and subtle kiss then smiled again.

"Don't worry about it Sesshomaru it'll be perfectly fine. You know you'll always have girls running after you because of your looks. However, you also know that I'm the only girl whom you are going to keep around and who knows you and loves you _with_ your flaws."

He smirked down at her and stepped away to place his coat on the coat rack as well as taking hers from her hands when she offered it to him. They both seemed to stare at one another for a moment or two before heading into the kitchen for her to find something to eat. Quickly plucking a red apple from the pile of fruit from the small bowl on the island in the middle of the kitchen, she jumped up to sit on the counter and smiled at him.

"So, where are they today?"

Her question made reference to his parents. They were always off somewhere and leaving their two sons to do whatever they pleased with the family home. Well in a way Sesshomaru could do whatever he wanted but with Inuyasha it was a different story all together. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha couldn't stand one another most of the time when she was around to witness it. They never got along especially when Inuyasha brought one of his girlfriends over. Unlike Sesshomaru who didn't date often, more or less one-night stands were his thing when he first entered high school before he met Rin. Inuyasha on the other hand preferred to drag out ill-fated relationships and cause a raucous with the entire family before he eventually dumped her. This time around it was some bitch named Kikyo who had a cousin who looked like a double, but whom Rin heard was way nicer. Oh well he would hopefully find someone whom he enjoyed to spend time with.

"Somewhere near Yokohama, I do not know. They said something about talking to the Oyabun over there. The Inagawa-kai is starting to encroach on some of our territory here in Tokyo and father wishes to stop it peacefully if he is able."

Ah so it was another peaceable action trip? Oh well that meant she could have more time with him but it also meant his brother would be annoying the hell out of them when they were together. It wasn't that she didn't like Inuyasha it was just that the boy didn't tend to make good decisions and of course his dislike of Sesshomaru didn't put them on the correct foot all of the time. Sighing she shook her head and bit into her apple and chewed before she spoke.

"I hope they fix it on peaceful terms. I don't want you going off again for a few days. I just got you back last week and I haven't gotten tired of you yet."

With a chuckle he stepped closer to her and gave a playful smirk.

"Ahhh so you wish to get rid of me? Well you are out of luck because we have a shit load of Chemistry to do tonight. So, you unfortunately, will have to bare my presence so that I may help you with it since I know this is not your strong point."

Her smile quickly faded and a groan issued from her pink lips and she glared at him as she took a forceful bite into the apple she held between them. Again he smirked at her and helped her down from the island and into the living room to do their homework. He may have been rich, influential, and dangerous to society but he was still a student of the same hell hole she went to.

After about an hour and a half of sitting on the eggshell colored carpet with her knees placed in a sour position she stretched them out with her arms over her head.

"Okay well we're done. No more of that shit hanging over my head. Thanks a lot."

Quickly she leaned over to find his head resting on his hand. So he was still pissed about something? Maybe it was about those girls he had talked about earlier but then again that normally only bothered him for a minute or two. What was wrong with him this time? Sure he had a stress filled life that most people would turn pale over. After all, no one would want to do what he was called upon to do but he still kept his two lives separate as best he could at school. When he was here with her they seemed to overlap though she had learned to get over it. This was his home and he could involve her if he wanted to so she felt pleased to be involved some way with the family business.

Scooting over towards him she took the hair tie out of his silver locks and ran her hands through it. She felt and listened as his chest rumbled in a content growl that instantly put another smile on her face. Leaning in she whispered into his ear.

"What's the problem? Are you alright or is something bothering you?"

She didn't expect him to grab her and place her in front of him while her legs were forced to straddle his own and her back pressed into the edge of the table behind her. His hands found their way to her hips and she just sat there gasping from his sudden action which had surprised her greatly. Okay so what on earth was going on in that head of his? She didn't have long to wait when she watched his forehead hit above her left breast. Okay so something was wrong and it was upsetting him enough for a show of emotion.

"I know that we just started school this week and you know that the rumors are going to fly again this year from new tongues in the freshman class. I hate it. Every year they just start shit and I always get angered by it."

So he wasn't as immune to it as she thought. And like he had said every year the rumors rushed through the halls like a wild fire. Sure the whispers and talk never seemed to cease however, the rumors only got large and over zealous when the new freshman would come in and hear from the current students that Rin and Sesshomaru seemed to be a match made in blood and money. It was annoying to her and sometimes the things they said to her hurt but most of the time she ignored their questions and preferred not to speak very often. After all, none of them were her friends and never wanted to be but the talk was just too sweet to resist she supposed. They had ostracized her when she was in eighth grade and that was when she met him when he was a freshman in high school. He had saved her from those vicious people and she hadn't questioned him since.

"Yeah, I know the whispers are harped on again and again every year, but it's alright really. I don't respond to the questions people ask me about you or us so don't worry about it. We've gone through this before. At least you don't have to worry about the constant questions because as soon as one person asks you something and you give that evil little death glare they all leave you alone. I on the other hand..."

"I never wanted for them to ask you those things."

She couldn't help but laugh a little at him. This laughter only served to make him angry at her and he seemed to growl his disapproval at her.

"I'm just saying that they ask me a lot of questions but I don't mind. I ignore them and move on. I'd rather be with you through all of this than go through it for nothing."

That seemed to make him complacent again and she was quickly lifted off of him and placed back onto the carpet. Alright, so she had to go back to her lonely little home now. Since her parents had passed away she was living with her grandmother who mostly slept and rushed down to the temple to welcome tourists and new guests. She hardly had any time to pay attention to her grandchild. Sure she was nice and very giving, but she seemed to always be really into her devotion to the temple than to pay too much attention to Rin. Often she would say that Rin was a young adult much older than her seventeen years of life and that she could take care of herself. So, it was basically like living on her own which wasn't a problem because she liked the freedom; she just wished someone in her family would care once and a while. Sesshomaru came in and cared and that made a world's difference to her.

She reached home and kissed him quickly before getting out of the car and wishing him a good night. As always he would be around to pick her up around 7:30 the next morning so that they could get to school. Reaching her room she threw her backpack onto the floor and fell onto her bed sleeping the rest of the night and into the next morning.

He arrived the next morning promptly like he always had and a smile warmed her face as she got into his sleek back BMW. They quickly came upon the school and Rin could only sink lower and lower in her seat as they past the main entrance. Hearing the demon beside her chuckle a bit she shot a glare his way before he shut off the engine after he found a suitable parking spot. Funny how just yesterday she was telling him not to worry and now she was in his position. Great. She felt hands grab her waist and soon she was sitting across his lap with her feet stretched towards her own unoccupied seat. He spoke to her in a whisper as she leaned into his chest.

"We are going to go in there and not pay any attention to what they all have to say. Then, when we come back to my house after school and do our homework, I'm going to show you something special."

"Oh and what would that be?"

Shaking his head at her and smirking was not making her a happy girl.

"Fine."

She watched as he laced his fingers through her own and brought it up to his mouth for a kiss before quickly returning it to her lap.

"Now let us go in before we are late."

Before she could utter a word of protest he was already placing her back into her own seat and getting out of his side of the car without another word to her. Taking deep breaths she sat for a moment and knew that he would not bother her for the moment that she needed to prepare herself. Finally, after a bit of mental preparation she exited the car and instantly felt his arm go around her waist as he clicked the car locks into place with the press of a button, much like her own mind being affirmed that it was indeed going to be put through the hamper today.

She turned moments later to give him a piece of her mind on the matter but he would not have any of it. Looking down upon her with his eyes like that made her feel small and of course he knew this or else he would not have looked at her so. Bastard. Glaring up at him was her main goal but she couldn't for long when she felt a slight loss when he took his hand away from her hip. She didn't get to glare long though because he then bent down to whisper into her ear.

"You are going to be fine."

And with that statement he took hold of her hand and together they walked into the building that, to her, held so many bad and good memories that she didn't know if she liked it or hated it. It quickly set upon her when they began up the steps and the building became ominous and large leaning over and imposing on her delicate body. Breathing in one more time she made the step from the pavement to the linoleum of the brightly lit hallway. Stepping over that line meant that she was in a new territory where Sesshomaru wouldn't be able to help her out with every person she met mainly because he only had one class with her and until after lunch she was stuck on her own.

Mentally she reeled herself against all of the words and whispers that were still to come. She would be strong for him. Never did she want to feel weak and always one to rely on him, but sometimes things just bothered her and she needed him there to make herself feel better. However, regardless if she wanted to feel his arms around her, today she would try her best to ignore them and prove herself to him. She knew she didn't have to prove herself because she wasn't the one in the business that Sesshomaru was, but she wanted to show him that she could be independent and strong all on her own. It may have sounded stupid to anyone else but she had been relying on herself for years now and she wanted to show him what she could do and what she could handle.

She looked up to him when she felt him squeeze her hand when she watched the students cup their hands around their mouths and lean into one another while casting glances in their direction. In that moment when she looked up to meet his gaze everything else fell from around her and no worries came to her in that instant, so a small smile was allowed to press itself into the corners of her mouth. While straightening her shoulders and lifting her head just a little bit higher than previously, she walked with him over to her locker and retrieved her books for that morning and began to walk with Sesshomaru to her first class and an odd thought washed over her. For some strange reason he liked walking her to class even though she really didn't need it, but today was a good day to have him around.

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Her classes were pure hell. Why on earth did people persist to create rumor after rumor that negated the one before it? What was so incredibly interesting about her and Sesshomaru Taisho that everyone in her school felt the need to ramble on and on about them? She always knew that teens were the worst for gossip besides little old ladies who talked to one another about the tenants that had just moved in above them, but this was a ridiculous amount of words being tossed back and forth between one person to the other in her school. These people obviously though that her life was way more interesting than paying any attention to the teachers.

Right now though she was in the bathroom spending her lunch break crying to herself over something someone had said to her. Wow, how much lower could she get? Standing in front of a bathroom sink splashing water on her face and preparing herself to go back outside. Looking into the mirror she saw nothing but a mere girl who didn't know what on earth was going on with her life. Her eyes no longer hold the same sparkle they did years ago just empty and listless. That was one of the things Sesshomaru had said that he liked about her; her eyes showed who she was on the inside. Her hair was a bit rumpled from almost pulling at it in anger and frustration when she first entered her haven of the female lavatory. Her school coat was unbuttoned and askew and her socks were pooled at her ankles. She was a wreck. Reaching for a paper towel to wipe off her face she heard girls giggling outside of the bathroom door and quickly flew into a stall.

Not being the most liked girl (all due to her hottie rating of 10 boyfriend) and her affiliation with said boyfriend and his own ties to the mafia. Sure some people talked to her but sometimes she thought it was only in fear or to get answers out of her about Sesshomaru. Picking her feet up and holding them to her chest she was quiet as the door opened and the gaggle of girls finally came in. She could only imagine them primping themselves in front of the mirror and looking at their own appearances.

"Oh my god did you notice how Michi had her arm all over our hot Koji? She's way too noticeable when it comes to him. Oh well she won't have him for long anyways."

Again the girls giggled and continued to act conceited until a younger sounding girl piped up about needing another coat of lip-gloss. Then, another girl, whom Rin took for a freshman, obviously had no clue what she was talking about but the conversation mad Rin listen just a little bit harder.

"Hey do any of you guys know of a boy with long silver hair? He's seriously hot right?"

It was quiet for a bit before any of them answered and when they did it was with a scoff. Apparently the girl who had been gossiping about Michi was the same one who knew plenty about Sesshomaru. Rin was glaring at her through the door and she was sure the tramp could feel it.

"Yeah his name is Sesshomaru Yamaguchi and the only thing he is interested in is the school's little quiet slut Rin Minamoto."

Another of the groupies seemed to chine in as well.

"Yeah he only has eyes for that poor little parentless piece of trash. Rumors are that his family is deep in the mafia. We tend to stay away from him Yumi. After all, you wouldn't want to piss him off he may kill you later. Have you seen him? He's gorgeous but I've seen a tattoo on him before and swear he has more but that's just gross anyway."

They all seemed to agree and the girl who posed the question quickly changed her mind.

"Yeah that is gross. He is still hot though, but if he's after the same girl that is in my Chemistry class then we know he has no taste."

"He is hot I'll give him that. If he weren't going out with that slut I'd go for him just for some fun. Maybe I will..."

They all seemed to laugh again and after finishing with their primping they all walked out still talking loudly. You could learn so much from just observing people even if observing meant that you were stuck on a toilet seat cover with your legs in your chest. Oh well not like she wanted to protest to those girls anyway because after seeing herself in the mirror she had no clue as to why Sesshomaru was still with her. He had told her once before why he liked her but all of those things seemed to disappearing at the moment. The door hit the wall again and she scrambled to put her legs back up onto the toilet lid. Hearing the lock click on the bathroom door she jumped a little and then heard a chuckle. Her stall door was pushed open and there stood Sesshomaru looking down at her.

Growling to herself she shoved her head back down into her arms hoping to disappear from the world (or rather stall) around her. She felt a shadow rush over her and then felt a hand touch her arm. Looking up from her arms she found him crouched down in front of her. Good thing the girl's bathroom was exceptionally clean. He was tall enough even while crouched that his eyes were level with her arms. She couldn't help but laugh at the scene she could imagine they made right now.

"I can see your underwear; the ones I like that are green with white polka dots."

She wasn't by any means mad at his statement. She found it funny. Having just been bitched about by a group of girls for being who she was and dating who she was only made the situation right now funny to her. He was always able to make her smile and even though he, himself did not smile often he made her do it quite a lot.

"Now, tell me what is wrong Rin?"

Not wanting to tell him things, she knew, was not a wise decision. He didn't like it when she lied and he knew that she when she was lying due to her heartbeat when it excelled during her lie. He was part dog after all. That didn't make her want to tell him anymore than she had before. She proceeded to sigh and then felt his hands at the sides of her thighs bringing them down so that she was able to see him and vice versa.

"I heard something today that someone said to me and during lunch I decided to come in here and then...well...I cried a lot. Then, some more girls came in here and were talking about you and I and that made me even sadder so I've been hiding in here. Sorry that I skipped out on lunch with you but for some reason today was not the day for them to be talking about me. I don't know what it is but they made me question why you still liked me. I mean look at me Sesshomaru! I looked at myself in the mirror and I know you like my eyes but they just are not the same anymore and I'm rambling aren't I?"

A smirk played across his mouth before he proceeded to answer her.

"Rin calm yourself. I thought that today we were going to ignore them? What happened? You know how I feel about you even though I don't say it. Your eyes aren't as bright today because of all this stress and everything but I guarantee you when we go out to dinner you will be yourself again, right?"

She could only nod her head. Today she did not feel like arguing to him. Maybe tonight would be good for her and give her a bit more strength to deal with these issues at school.

"Now come on let's get you out of here and get you to class. I promise you are going to enjoy ourselves tonight."

Taking the hand he had offered her to stand up she did and was quickly smiling again when she was given a peck on the lips.

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A/N: Okay so that was #2 for you guys. I really hope you didn't think it was too short from what I have done previously. However, if it was then my bad I'll try to make the next one longer just for ya! Woooooot! Anyway tell me how you liked this chappie please! I'm in college right now so any praise I can get here will help me from going insane at my shitty school. Save a brain and review! O.o

**Oyabun-** head official or 'father' over a main group/sect of yakuza members. (Like the Don in the Italian mafia)


	3. Dinner with a Fringe of Bedlam

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 2:_

_Dinner with a Fringe of Bedlam_

A/N: O.K moving it right along with chapter two. Now we get to learn a little about Rin and Sesshomaru's relationship. Also, Kagome gets to enter and seems to be a little too much a snoop for Sesshomaru and the yakuza secret. A bit of Sesshy's thoughts included. Sooooo many things to happen in one chapter! Hmmmm what will happen?

BTW, I totally had no idea that another story with the whole 'mafia' thing is floating around during the same time as mine (since I haven't had Internet in MONTHS) and I have had this idea for an entire year, so I hope that helps…maybe. But, I have a feeling our stories are in different directions, so I hope if you are reading both sorry about that because I had no freaking clue. NOW READ!

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**Dinner** came about soon enough for the young couple as Sesshomaru guided the sleek BMW through the crowded intersections and turns of the Tokyo nightlife. She had been reluctant to go in her school uniform, so he had relented and let her change into a pair of blue jeans and a nice emerald green off-the-shoulder top. There seemed to be no use in bugging him about where it was they were going to eat since she had wanted to know thirty minutes ago so that she could wear the correct attire, still he wouldn't say. So, she had picked out something she hoped would be good enough while he had opted to go in a nice deep burgundy button down top with basic black slacks and she could only assume that dressed like he was she had not made the right decision when picking her clothes. Oh well if I look stupid I'll blame it on him. Smiling to herself she sat in silence with him until the radio was turned on to a nice classical piece in which she admired the violinists' skill with the bow.

She liked any kind of music that she deemed beautiful however Sesshomaru only opted to listening to rock, jazz, and some classical. Yep, they were a bit different here and there with each other but if they both liked all of the same things and agree to everything then the relationship would just get boring. Rin believed in a balance of difference and semblance if there was too much of one, and then the relationship would not end well. She and Sesshomaru, she mused, were going to be just fine. After all, they had made it through almost (coming this spring) four years with each other and that was a goal for any teenager. He had told her one day that demons mated for life, but he hadn't really brought it up with her though; she knew though that deep in her heart she had been claimed as his (although not as his mate just yet) about a year and a half ago when they had first had sex. To be his true mate she would have to drink some of his blood, though they had not done that aspect yet she knew his intentions and would happily accept. His intentions were obvious when he had asked her to stay with him, knowing that demons live quite astronomical years, after their first sexual encounter and she had nothing but smiles. Of course, he took that to mean a yes and she wouldn't have it any other way. As for marriage by her human standards they hadn't discussed it, but she would wait until he wanted to talk because if she brought it up it might ruin their impeding meal plans.

She felt the car slow down while his hand disengage from her knee, where it had been placed when they had gotten into the car, and she brought her attention from her thoughts to out the window where she saw the quaint little Italian restaurant where he had taken her for their first date three years ago. They hadn't had time to go back for it was a bit of a drive for them after school, but it would be worth it even if it was hard for her to read the menu. Good thing Sesshomaru was learning his Italian and fast too. Damn his quick learning demon abilities.

"It simply isn't my fault that I am a quick learner Rin."

Shit! She had said that out loud.

"Yes, you did indeed."

Shit! There she went again. Oh well not like he didn't know she was a bit loopy anyway. Glaring playfully at him she unbuckled herself and stepped out into the crisp night air. The diner was simply lit but she knew from previous experience that she was looking at a very expensive restaurant. As soon as they reached the inside a small and very petite girl with a thin pair of glasses came to the podium with two menus resting in her hands. Sesshomaru quickly stepped in front of Rin and smiled down at the small girl whose name on her shirt read Sachiko. Ha, Sachiko should instead be deemed SachiHOE with the way she was leering at Sesshomaru through her glasses. Even with the looks he received from other woman, true to his nature Sesshomaru set about to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Resting his arms on the podium in from of her he clasped his hands together before addressing her.

"Hello and welcome to _Italia_, do you have reservations?"

With a shake of his head the girl's smile fell.

"Well as you can see we are pretty booked tonight, so how about you make an appointment for another night?"

Her smile couldn't get any graver when Sesshomaru leaned forward a bit more and his sleeves reared-up from the podium and passed his wrists revealing the two matching Yamaguchi symbols one on each wrist. She smiled to herself knowing that this side of Sesshomaru deterred a lot of possible 'Sesshomaru fans' and that was a good thing for Rin. She watched as the poor little Sachiko visibly shook a bit from seeing the marks that dotted the man's pale skin, so naturally something so bold and black could be seen by most. Of course Sesshomaru knew when to keep such marks hidden, as with school, and when to use them to his advantage, like getting the things he wanted. Of course, Rin never knew about who and what he did until after they had been on a few dates and by that time she was too infatuated to really care, although he did give her some time to think on it she paid it no attention. His deep and rich voice broke her from her remising thoughts.

"We do not have a reservation; however, can you ask your chef to come see us at our table when you finally get up the nerve to lead us there?"

The poor girl again looked shocked, but lead them to a small table secluded near the back where a small white tea candle sat floating in a bowl of water with blood red flowers around it; all of it incredibly romantic. She handed Rin and Sesshomaru their menus and headed off quickly and quietly without even taking their drink order. She bore witness to the sharp man in front of her cracking yet another signature smirk and couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the small girl's reaction.

"I think you scared her away from serving us anything tonight Sesshomaru."

"I believe I may have although, if she does what I told her to do then the chef should be coming to see us any moment. He is an old family friend if you can recall from the first time we were here. Antonio will assuredly make sure we have food and drink for the night."

She only shook her head in complacency and looked through her menu and like the first time she was here things were completely in Italian. Of course she had wanted to visit Italy (this she had told Sesshomru last year and had been taking lessons in Italian ever sense) but she hadn't the time or patience to learn the language. Maybe one day they could take a trip and she could learn some basics for fun? Instantly as soon as thought entered her head she dashed it away because of his work and both of their schooling. One day...

"How about we order a bottle of red wine?"

"But Sesshomaru I'm only 17."

Ladies and gentlemen the smirk made its five-ish appearance tonight. Damn him!

"It's quite alright. I'm sure Antonio won't care as long as I keep an eye on how much you have. Do not worry, you will be fine."

Shaking her head and laughing a bit at him she again fretted over the menu. Then not having time to ask Sesshomaru for help a bit of a rounded Italian man, whom she remembered always smelt like fresh dough (in a good way), came through the door and threw his hands in the heir with a huge smile on his face when he spotted their table.

"Sesshomaru! Sesshomaru! Glad you could make it out here again!"

He made his way over to the table as soon as possible and Sesshomaru stood to meet him and they shook hands before he praised the silver haired man and then looked in her direction. Ah, so he had noticed Sesshomaru had a dinner date? Antonio then came over to Rin and gently and greatly took her hand in an over dramatic gesture and kissed it saying _bella donna_ over and over again, which Rin only hoped meant something good. He took down their drink order and ran off with Rin laughing at his antics. She looked over only to see Sesshomaru with his nose in the menu.

"I know you are taking Italian, but I have no idea about how to say these things that are listed, so I wanted to tell you I wanted that one dish I had here the first time I visited. It had fish, this beautiful white sauce on it, and some of those delicious bread sticks."

He only shook his head in reply and she thought that maybe he had something on his mind to be distancing himself from her. Maybe he had another job coming up that he had suddenly decided he didn't want to tell her about. That would just be his style wouldn't it? He was making sure not to tell her so she would worry, but even though he rarely did that, he had indeed done something like it in the past. She cleared her throat to get his attention and he looked up into her eyes making her catch her breath for a moment. She feared she would never get used to being enraptured by those golden orbs.

"I just wanted to say that I have to use the restroom and wanted to know if he comes back before I get back if you would order for me?"

She didn't have to wait long before he confirmed her question.

"Of course. He's coming now and I will tell him what you want."

Smiling at him she left hurriedly. She didn't want to get caught up in Antonio's wave of energy for a bit so she left Sesshomaru handle it for the time being. Right now she wanted to make sure she still looked good enough and to collect her thoughts for a minute or two. She looked behind her before she pushed open the door to the girls' facilities and found Antonio laughing and another smirk -number six- appear on Sesshomaru's face. Taking their conversation as a good thing she stepped in and let out a huge sigh of relief.

Sesshomaru watched as the family friend Antonio leered after Rin when she headed to the facilities; perverted old man. Rin always told him about the many woman he would have looking after him when they went to the mall or a cafe, but she had always been reluctant to think that men looked as she walked by as well. He had chosen her himself had he not? That would mean that she would have to of been nothing short of a goddess. She was a goddess in human skin to him. She had a temper when something went too far, she was beautiful, caring, forgiving, and her body was indeed a temple. Taking pride in being the only one to see said body gave him an even bigger ego. She would talk about his ego and how he had a largely inflated one at that, but she always spoke of it with a smile on her face, so obviously it wasn't such a big deal.

All of these thoughts culminate into one singular feeling much like Rin must get when others look at him a bit too long. He couldn't compete with an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. His ego deserved to be large, or so he thought, because of his demon heritage, his family name, his occupation, and the woman who was always by his side. This jealousy didn't dissipate, but did calm down a bit when Antonio turned back toward Sesshomaru and told him she was beautiful. So, the old demon had forgotten already?

"You may be a demon but you are certainly reaching your limit in years."

Antonio laughed harshly disrupting some of the patrons in the restaurant and prompted them to sneer in the direction of their table before they would continue eating. However, Sesshomaru paid them no attention just keeping his gaze between where Rin had gone and the man before him.

"How so?"

"She is the same woman I brought here the first time."

Looking surprised was not something the old demon did often because he had lived a long life and was able to see most anything. The face he was sporting now couldn't be helped to get a rise out of Sesshomaru.

"Ah, the small and shy one? Well, by the way she is dressed tonight I'd say that she is no longer too shy hugh? How long have you been seeing her?"

"Almost four years now."

Again, Antonio had a surprised look on his face. This was turning out to be a very interesting night for him. He had known the demon prince for a while now and before Rin it was girl after girl with nothing attached to it. This one was different than all of the others. True, she had come here before but she was different then. He supposed Sesshomaru must have brought something out of the girl, a good something to be exact. Sesshomaru was dangerous, yes, but he also had the fierce need to protect this young woman like no one else could offer. If Antonio knew one thing about the jealous demon in front of him it was this: when he wanted something he fought for it and when he got it, it was his to keep safe. Assuredly this girl would do just fine in his care physically but Sesshomaru was who he was worried about. He put his life out there everyday and he would let it go for this girl; the only problem was the very thing that made her safer: his reputation. His name could protect her but it could also kill him. Hope was the only thing on the chef's mine for these two. They both deserved to be happy and he could only hope that it stayed that way.

"Four years huh? So I suppose she knows who you are and what it is you do then?"

The only response from the man across from him was a nod of the head and a careful sip from his wine glass that he had obviously poured while Antonio was thinking to himself. Getting back to the present he addressed the young demon again.

"So what is it that you two will be having this evening?"

Sesshomaru proceeded to tell him and as soon as Antonio was about to ask something else he saw Sesshomaru's head swing in the direction of the bathroom and Rin came out looking a bit frazzled, but still radiant. She spotted Sesshomaru and an instant smile fell onto her face as she headed back towards the table.

"I'll make sure to get those dishes out to you as soon as I can."

He couldn't help but chuckle as he noticed that Sesshomaru was so enamored with the girl that he more than likely didn't hear a damn thing he was saying. Oh to be in love. Sighing with a shake of his head he vacated the young girl's spot just as she had made it to the table.

________________________________________________________________________

She had just sat down in her chair again when she noticed the man Sesshomaru knew as the chef and owner of the restaurant lean over and whisper something in Sesshomaru's ear which caused him to shake his head and a frown reach his face. What had he told him? She knew he wouldn't tell her so she didn't bother asking. Looking down at her glass she couldn't help but hesitate before picking it up and looking down into it. She'd had alcohol before but only small sips when he grandmother wanted her to try osake when she was home to make sure it was still 'good tasting'. How in the hell she was supposed to know and compare was beyond her, but her grandmother never seemed to contest her. However, looking at the red substance in her glass she couldn't help but hesitate a bit.

"It is going to be fine. You will not get drunk, that I promise you. I will make sure to watch your intake. Besides if you do for some reason get drunk would it really be that bad to wake up next to me naked?"

By looking at his expressions you would never notice that maybe behind the entire cold exterior he had his moments of laughter and smiles. He could tell a joke everyone once and a while, not often, but it did happen. She glared at him and lightly kicked his shin under the table in a joking manner. She couldn't help herself. When he joked it was rare and she loved doing it right back to him. The joking was set aside for a few minutes later because the dishes came out which made Rin smile when Antonio brought them himself even though he was supposed to be concentrating on the other guests too. It was as delicious as she remembered and as she was eating her desert (even once stuffing a spoonful of tiramisu in Sesshomaru's reluctant mouth and earning a growl from him) he posed a simple question.

"Would you like me to kill them?"

Scrumptious food almost flew out of her mouth at his statement. He was talking about the girls that had upset her earlier that day. Shaking her head vehemently at him she scooped up another bit on her spoon before mulling it around in her mouth while she thought. To anyone else (including herself) that question would seem obscured, however, to him in was a valid form of permission and she knew if she said yes then a few days from now all of them would be found in gutters somewhere with no tale of the 'who done it'.

"No, there's no need for that and you know it."

"It was just a question."

She playfully glared at him even though he had been completely serious about his proposal. It was just the way he was and like everything else about it, she accepted it. Sometimes it was hard to do and other times it was easy; she just had to stick with him because of her love for him. If nothing else she believed in him and for her he was all she had. They finished with the diner with a promise to Antonio to visit again and also a glare at the receptionist on Rin's part.

________________________________________________________________________

Once again the ride home was a quiet one, but it was a companionable silence and not a stress-filled one. When the car came to a halt she sat there for a bit before leaving the car and awaiting Sesshomaru to follow her and open the door. It was an unexpected action when he unlocked the door with a turn of the knob and bent to kiss her temple before ushering her in front of him. Again they had to tap their shoes from the snow and luckily it was crisp and warm inside the house, so much so that she asked Sesshomaru for a shirt to wear instead of her thick green knitted top.

Coming back down from his bedroom after changing her clothes she found him sprawled out on the black family room couch with one leg straight and the other with his foot flat on the floor hanging over the side. His eyes were closed but she knew he wasn't asleep but he did have his rare moments of being relaxed and this seemed like one of the few. She smiled as she headed to the kitchen and washed a peach before taking it to the sink and washing it off. Stepping back into the room she placed her peach upon a napkin and picking up the remote and finding the local news channel and watched as more snow was headed towards Tokyo later in the week. Feeling arms around her waist she placed the remote down and picked up her piece of fruit before falling back into a hard chest and emitting a small laugh.

She couldn't help squirming around a bit to get comfortable but eventually she ended up with her shoulders on his chest and her lower back connecting with something hard. She laughed when she wriggled around and heard him growl. It was amazing what she could do to make him aroused. She bit into her fruit as she watched the television flicker between pictures and pressing news matters. Although she wasn't really paying any attention to what was being said because halfway through the news broadcast she had finished her peach and placed the pit back on the napkin, when she felt a hand wonder its way under the grey shirt she had on and rest on her stomach. Looking down she found that it was his right hand that made the trail upwards and surprisingly enough had stayed there. The other hand rested on her left thigh, it stayed where it was placed and she was glad not because she couldn't stand his touch, quite the contrary, it was just that he must have known she wasn't up to any intimate activity with all of the emotions she had been through in one day. Some times it was easy to have a dog demon as a boyfriend and this was an instance of that.

There wasn't much time before she felt his fingertips (or rather really sharp nails that he was always cutting so that he wouldn't harm her, though most of the time they failed to stay that way) taping against the nerves of her stomach and creating goose bumps. The thing that made his actions different from another was that they were moving in a rhythm. See he wasn't what his stoic outside portrayed him to be. Yes, he was cold sometimes, but he had to be with what he was doing. Yes, he was arrogant and very intelligent. He was a great guitar player and also had a knack for using his vocal chords as well. It would be odd to most but he had been writing his own material and songs since she had known him. It was a secret passion for him and she understood that it was just for the two of them to enjoy. She just wished he would let someone else hear him.

He would always argue with her on whether or not she had a good voice as well. Sure she was okay at the piano but just like him it was between the two of them and no one else. They had that understanding and it was nice. So it wasn't odd for her to feel him marking out chords with his fingers on a table top or her thigh. This was a first for her stomach though and she wouldn't contend that it did feel quite nice. Leaning her head back she looked up at him and waited until he made eye contact to speak.

"It that a new song?"

He made no move to prove her correct.

"Then I'm guessing that is a yes. When can I hear it?"

A smirk appeared on his face and she was lifted forward and sitting up before she knew what was going on. As awkward as it was to be leaning on him at an odd angle she couldn't help the laugh that escaped her when he leant down to kiss her. Of course she accepted it and then she heard his voice in her ear.

"It is not done yet and when it is I will show you."

The smile that lit her face was like no other. His songs were his own and she loved hearing them more than anything. Happy that she was going to get a very early Christmas gift she kissed him hard and then it ended up turning into something a bit more serious when his hands started messaging her available flesh. That was about the time when Rin heard a gasp and a 'humph' from near the doorway. Looks like the younger brother, Inuyasha, had gotten home from running around with his friends after school already. Reaching up she pulled his face away from her own with only a small audible growl of protest before she turned to her audience. From the looks of it Inuyasha had gotten a new girlfriend and it was the one she had heard looked like his last one. Kagome...yeah that was this girl's name. She was never one for gossip but she heard enough of it go on around her to know how the school worked. Inuyasha and Kagome were Freshman in the same school this year although they didn't socialize at all.

"Don't you think you should take that to YOUR room Sesshomaru?"

He didn't seem to care about giving a reply to his younger half-brother and with no reply rested his chin on Rin's shoulder while continuing to look between Inuyasha and Kagome. Inuyasha must have noticed this because he then looked over towards Kagome who was starring openly at Sesshomaru with ah and a great deal of hesitance.

"Uhhhh she isn't my girlfriend or anything but we have this stupid project to do for ancient Japanese history and I had to bring her here after hanging out with the guys. Soooo..."

Nothing else was said for a while before the elder demon smirked at his brother.

"You have no need to explain things but I suggest you tell that girl to stop starring at me."

He received a sharp elbow in the ribs from Rin and she glared at him while mouthing 'be nice' which he made a small growl for. Sighing loudly she looked over at Kagome and smiled as warmly as she could considering the situation and the awkwardness of it. She tried to get up and to no avail because the strong demon behind her wasn't allowing it. Again, she smiled at Kagome and beckoned her forward and shook hands with her.

"I'm Rin Minamoto and this is Inuyasha's older half-brother Sesshomaru. He's not as bad as he seems."

A third warm smile lent its way to Kagome before she shook it still being weary of the demon and introduced herself. Most of the time she didn't make the effort to connect with others, but she figured she'd give this girl a hand, but after this she hoped the poor thing would keep to herself.

"Kagome Higurashi nice to meet you. Are you in the same grade as Inuyasha and I? I've seen you around before but no one ever wants to talk about you. Oh my goodness I didn't mean it that way I swear. Sorry."

Rin couldn't help but laugh at the poor girl. Sesshomaru seemed to be making good impressions on people today. By good she meant bad and by impressions she meant scaring the fuck out of them. Goodness, was he ever going to learn to be nice to others especially if they didn't know about his cold personality? Sure she had the same problem with getting comfortable with people, but he was just plain hard as hell.

"It's quite alright Kagome. No harm done. I, however, am not part of your grade I'm a second year and this ass behind me is a third year, a senior. Don't worry about offending me with your last comment it's pretty alright. No one in the school likes me much and mainly because I'm tied to the whole Yamaguchi family, you know the whole stigma with ya-

She never got to finish her answer because Inuyasha was making wild hand gestures behind the other girl to get her to stop talking. She looked at him questioningly and he basically signified that she didn't know about the family business. Oh well, she would eventually. Rin could see the chemistry between them even if they obviously could not. How weird was it these two didn't seem to be close but she knew that one day Kagome would be coming home as a girlfriend than a history project partner. This girl obviously must be like Rin herself when she met Sesshomaru…well sort of. She hadn't paid any attention to the tabloids and things like that so her boyfriend being part of the mafia was a little far fetched until Sesshomaru had shown her things in the family library and taught her of (what he could tell her at least) where his family was involved and who they were. That was why the rumor around school was that the demon was with the mafia. Some how though, Rin knew that deep down everyone knew the basics about who he was so they tended to stay away from him and then her by association. Of course it didn't help when you were the school nutter either. Realizing her hanging sentence she continued to speak as if nothing was wrong.

"...with young girls being with older men."

Okay so it wasn't the best or most coherent answer but at least she had come up with something and Kagome seemed to buy it and nodded. Then again, why _was_ she being nice to this girl? She didn't know her. It must have been the fact that Sesshomaru had made her so happy tonight that it kind of glided over to this as well. Hmmm…it would probably never happen again. Good because getting friendly was not something she excelled at and never would.

"Yeah it's alright with me though. I don't know why people would have a problem with it. You guys are only a year apart right?"

Rin went ahead with the lie and made another one. She'd straighten it out when the time came.

"My parents don't like him much."

Kagome laughed nervously and her smile went crooked.

"I can't imagine why."

Sesshomaru was about to growl again and scare the poor young woman and so Rin sent him another glare. After that was over Inuyasha and Kagome went into the back of the house to a spare work room to do their project and as soon as the door was opened arguments ensued between the two. Rin wasn't able to stop the impish grin that slid to her mouth when she thought of those two. Sesshomaru rested again on the couch with her against his chest and resumed his drumming on her stomach.

"What are you thinking?"

"Those two obviously like one another even though if you were to ask them they would deny it. I know they do. You just watch they'll be together soon. I just hope she's a lot better than her cousin Kikyo. Inuyasha isn't my favorite person in the world but everyone deserves someone."

"I do not like my younger brother either and you know that too well. I don't think he made the wrong decision with this new girl. She seems...a lot nicer than the others he has had in the past. I think he's found his mate."

Immediately Rin's smile grew wider and she accidentally squirmed around in happiness.

"Oh I'm so glad! Good for them. Now if only they could realize it."

He then gave her a questioning glace and she wondered why.

"Tell me, why are you so interested in others anyway? You have never shown much interest before, why now?"

She honestly had to think about it for a bit, but came up with nothing.

"I couldn't tell you a damn thing. Although, I will say that Inuyasha needs something else to focus on besides bugging me and she is a perfect distraction, I just hope she doesn't think we're friends now or something."

Just as the words left her mouth Rin heard a door slam and a yell of stupid dog before Kagome came stomping into the living quarters again red-faced and angry. Rin wanted to laugh but the girl looked so distraught and angry that she was almost in tears. Knowing she had to do something to remedy the situation she cleared her throat calmly and waited for Kagome to respond. When she didn't notice Rin looked back at Sesshomaru who calmly, yet reluctantly, let her get up. She walked over to Kagome and rested a hand on her shoulder which made the girl jump thinking it was Inuaysha or something. Instead of a silver haired dolt she was met with warm brown eyes and a kind smile.

"Don't ever let what he says get to you. He's an idiot you know that and I know that. I think he's frustrated because he likes you."

The young girl gave a gasp. Those cheeks of hers were getting awfully rosy.

"Don't be silly he's an asshole."

"I'm not lying. Just give him a chance. I bet he's just confused from his feelings. Everything will work out fine...just don't hold it against him he's been like that since I've known him which has been for a couple of years now."

She watched as Kagome shook her head and sporadically hugged Rin, which Rin stepped back from with haste; touches from anyone but Sesshomaru were NOT allowed. The girl looked about to question it, but decided not to which was a plus for Rin. There was no need for the girl to know about her reputation too soon. Even though she did not like Inuyasha too well she'd make him apologize one way or another and then they would get together. Normally Rin wasn't the match making type but after feeling what it was like to be with the one person meant for you, she couldn't let Inuyasha ruin it. Oh yeah, that little dick was going to pay but first she needed to relax a bit more in Sesshomaru's grasp before she killed his brother. Yep, today had turned out better than expected.

Unfortunately, the next day when they had come home from school Inuyasha and Kagome were already working on some school project together. Obviously, the frustration of being paired with an annoying half-demon had gotten to Kagome a bit and as the warmth of the home enveloped both Rin and Sesshomaru and her yells along with Inuyasha's protests that "He didn't do anything!" came breaking on the waves of Rin's ears like those on a craggy shore. Good god could they get any louder? Coming around the corner to see what had happened, she watched as Kagome quickly bolted to the kitchen and that's when Sesshomaru leaned next to her and whispered 'blood'. Being as concerned as possible for the young girl (which was not much at all, but hey she couldn't just leave her there) she turned to him before she walked off to help Kagome.

"You take care of your stupid brother and I'll see what happened."

Breaking away from him she found the girl leaning over the sink holding her finger under the tap as the water ran over it before tinting pink when it swirled down the drain. It did not look too bad though so Rin grabbed some band-aids from one of the drawers and a tube of ointment before sitting the girl down in a chair at the kitchen table and tending to her minor cut as the girl spoke of the situation. Frankly Rin was not the least bit surprised that she had to say nothing for the girl to start talking, because it was extremely clear that by the furrowing of her brow that the girl was pissed. Inuyasha could certainly use some sensitivity training.

"We were cutting out little circles for the project and he needed the scissors, but I wasn't done and we fought over them for a bit and then he yanked them out of my hands and the blade cut my finger. Then, the prick denies everything! What an ass!"

With a sigh Rin wrapped the band-aide around the girl's finger while she tried to push some sense into her along with making Inuyasha look better.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it Kagome. You guys still need to finish that project and I may not like him, but I know he wouldn't hurt you on purpose, Kagome. Just think about it. He _is_ exceptionally stubborn and when you would not hand over the scissors when he wanted them, well, like his older brother, he just takes what he wants. You just have to learn to get over it because that aspect of him will never change."

She left the girl to think while she went into the living room and found Sesshomaru shaking his head to something Inuyasha was saying. Of course she could only guess that it was about how he hadn't done anything and Kagome had done everything. After a minute or two of listening to Inuyasha bicker, Sesshomaru looked up and found Rin's eyes. Motioning for them to leave the two, he simply ignored Inuyasha and followed Rin upstairs to let them work out their own problems. With a heavy sigh she plopped down onto his mattress and began kicking her legs back and forth while he headed off to his closet and began the task of picking out something comfortable to wear for the rest of the day.

"You know, I need to go out and pick up a few things for myself and now I have to wait until they solve their little 'lover's quarrel'."

A smirk came onto his face along with a solitary lifted silver brow as he began undoing the belt from his school slacks.

"Lovers quarrel?"

He eyes had to pry themselves from his form before she focused on his words.

"Oh for heaven's sake you know as well as I do that those two are really into one another. It's only a matter of time, unless your step-brother can get his act together and not insult her as a defense mechanism for his feelings."

Deciding on a shower before she went out next she grabbed a towel out of the supply closet in the large bathroom and was left alone, surprisingly, by Sesshomaru the entire time she was in there. After her initial astonishment she found out what had made him so preoccupied and it was only when she went downstairs that she found out. There he was at the kitchen table playing a lonely game of cards while Inuyahsa and Kagome bickered in the living room in front of the television. Why he had not bothered to go to a quieter part of the house she did not know, but at least the other two weren't yelling at one another about paper cuts and glue. Looking at him now in a pair of black sweatpants and a quite clingy black shirt made her want to stop, but once again, she forced her eyes to focus on walking. And when she went to pass Sesshomaru, she felt him tug on her arm, when she looked back she was met with his nose against her collarbone taking in her scent.

"You used that peach shower wash, did you not?"

Her head shake was all that was needed before he let her go about her business getting a glass of water before she headed out. After telling him of her intentions all he asked was that she pick him up a pack of cigarettes, though he did stipulate that it had to be 'his brand', she gave him a roll of her eyes and told him she be taking the taxi to the subway and after a glare and him giving her money, which she reluctantly accepted she was off and not before hearing him growl when Inuyahsa tried to have her get him a candy bar while she was out. Yeah right, she wasn't his fucking maid!

It was an hour before she came back with her bag of 'feminine products' and other items she had needed while she was out. Placing the bag on the table she left the room to change for the night and was welcomed back by the ramblings of Inuyahsa about how girls shouldn't stick "gross things" next to candy. In that instant she knew he had stolen the fruit bar covered in chocolate that she had gotten for herself. Turning to look at him she glared and he must have felt it because as he was opening the wrapper he sniffed it, deemed it good to eat, and looked up at her.

"You dick that was mine! I didn't buy it for you!"

He only gave her a grunt before his face turned sour and he spit the half chewed bit into his hand and ran over to throw it in the trashcan as Kagome laughed and Sesshomaru glared from his seat at the far end of the room from his spot in a large chair.

"That thing is disgusting Rin!"

A smirk played on her lips as she walked over and yanked it out of his hand. As she ripped the piece off from which he had chewed she bit into it while grinning at him.

"Maybe it will teach you to be nicer to me and not to go through my things."

"Meh."

And he walked back over to grab the pencil Kagome had been using out of her hand. After all, he was not about to be so stupid as to fight with Rin while Sesshomaru was only a few feet away. The demon was dumb at times, but even he wasn't that dull. As she thought about Sesshomaru she remembered getting him his request, and as he looked up at her from the table while making Kagome extremely nervous, Rin made a motion to throw them across the room. Without hesitation she took another bite of her peach and chocolate concoction and made the pack of smokes airborne across the room. Not so much as a flicker of concentration passed by his eyes as one hand came up to expertly catch them before bringing them back down to rest in his lap. She knew why he would not be around her too much today and when, in the split second as he grabbed the package in the air, she watched his biceps flex so deliciously, she wanted to let out her own sigh of frustration. It was not every day that she was the more sexual of the two, it was a waste really. Kagome on the other hand must have caught the same movement because, when she looked over at Rin, she instantly looked back down at her project. Rin would not blame the girl, she was into Inuyasha, but the poor thing could not doubt a good specimen of male orientation either.

When she had gone up to put her things away in the bathroom she came back down to hearing the two, once again, fighting but this time it was about where to put some random piece of something that needed to be in their project and as she looked around from the expanse of the staircase she didn't catch sight of his gleaming silver head anywhere. Figuring he must be outside she left the bustle of the front room and walked out into the chill of the air to find him starring off into the yard as smoke wafted above him to be swept away on the breeze.

"Too much noise for you as well, Sesshomaru?"

Without a glance back at her she heard him.

"Obviously."

Taking a seat on the steps she jumped a bit when she felt the coldness of the concrete under her, but soon warmed up and adjusted to the temperature flux very quickly. Making quick disposal of the rest of the bar she had bought, she felt him sit down next to her and also noticed, with a small giggle, the straightening of his spine to the feel of the cold on his ass, much like she had done only seconds ago. Together they sat in relative silence until she had placed her head on his shoulder and she reached over to his closed hand to take his lighter from him. This was the one he always had because, while lighting the sticks he enjoyed so much, it also gleamed in the dying light with the symbol of his heritage and affiliation. It was engraved in the metal which she could not help but marvel at as her index finger glided over the indentations and it was only when she flipped it open that she noticed a stain of red on the hinge of the lighter's top. Nudging him a bit he took the cigarette that was in his mouth out so that he could talk to her, after kindly blowing the smoke in the opposite direction so as not to bother her senses.

"You've got someone's blood in this thing still. See, right there."

Holding it up to his eyes she showed him and he just glanced at her before looking back out at the yard. He was a bit distant today but that was no different than any other time that she was on her period because he had always told her he needed to utmost concentration and restraint not to jump her every time he looked at her. Rin never complained though because she knew he liked having a handle on his actions, so she respected him for it. If she could have that restraint when dealing with her own mind who knew what she could do. It was not that there was a danger of getting pregnant from him anyway because in dog demons the male was the one who willed the pregnancy and not the woman. Go figure, but it worked out in their favor still. Although he never did like it when she was having her cycle because it caused his sense to go crazy every minute that she was around him. Deciding to move onto something more interesting to him, she looked back down on the symbol and asked him a simple question.

"Will you ever tell me where the Yamaguchi emblem came from and how it came about?

As he took it back from her freezing fingers she waited for him to give her an answer. Of course, she should have expected the words that would come, but alas she still hoped that one day she could more out of him.

"You know that I am not permitted to share everything with you."

Rolling her eyes at him she placed her chin in her palm and leaned her arm on her knee to take a new post. Was he seeing something out on the lawn that she wasn't because he seemed highly interested in it more than her?

"Maybe you aren't permitted to, but you've shared so much with me already, why not this?"

The cigarette left his mouth for a second time before he stared at her and placed the lighter pack into his pants pocket.

"I share things with you in the hopes that you will survive, if for some reason, I do not."

Looking down at the ground she found the grass at the edges of the patio to be incredibly interesting. It was all in the way she looked at things and she knew normal people became annoyed and embarrassed in situations, but like now, it was harder for her because the quiet voices in the back seemed to try and push through to the front and she would have none of that; not now when she wanted something real and important with him.

"You shouldn't say things like that."

He had a simple answer for everything and sometimes it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"They are true. I may be demon, but I can die. Rin, you know more than any girlfriend, or even wife should know. I tell you things because it is my wish that you will take this knowledge and put it to good use. Our mannerisms, our traditions, and our actions and this instance is no different."

She felt him get up and it left her side a bit cold from where he had been sitting next to her. Making her way to turn around he grabbed her waist in the process to keep her from going. Never did he hold on tightly because he knew she would always have the option of leaving, no matter the time or place and his light holds were the product of that unwritten and unspoken agreement. If at any time she wanted out she was free to go and like every time he did this, she always stopped and stepped back to stay at his side to show him that she was not about to go anywhere without him. Feeling his strong fingers at her side she watched him contemplate his words before he spoke.

"How about we leave that story for another time?"

The only thing she could do in agreement was wrap her arms around him. It was quite nice to feel the warmth of his back connecting with her front to ward off the chill, but she was almost certain he would be able to feel exactly how cold it was because a certain part of her upper anatomy was very expressive about how chilly the air was. Combined with the air and her whole menstrual situation she was not surprised to hear a growl from him, it was low and barely there, though there anyway. She felt him place a hand on the arm wrapped around his waist and she felt a sudden flush of happiness because the voices decided that maybe the back wasn't so bad after all. Then, it was when he lifted his head to the air and he spoke few words that something had changed.

"Father is home."

Subsequently only a few seconds later and a black Cadillac pulled up into the driveway and towards the large garage. Rin wanted to leave because she was not much for a people person or the fact that Izayoi did not like her and would certainly be tagging along with her husband, Inutaisho. Rin's luck really was quite rotten to say the least. So much for leaving because Sesshomaru's reluctance to let her go made her want to glare daggers at him and so that was what she did until she peeked around Sesshomaru to spy Inutaisho greeting his son.

"Hello son. And I suppose the young Rin is the one hiding behind you?"

As she retracted to his statement by hiding behind Sesshomaru's back, his father on the other hand, decided that he would follow her. The demon followed her movements and smiled down at her from his tall stature. He looked a lot like Sesshomaru with the silver hair and markings, but he was much older than his son and also Yamaguchi Oyabun. It was not that she was afraid of him, but her voices told her to be weary of anyone who wasn't the man she was currently gripping on like a life preserver. Rin Minamoto never trusted anyone and that was why she stayed from his view even when he held out his hand to her. She was sure that he knew she wasn't about to shake hands with him, but every time he saw her he tried very hard.

"I will get a handshake out of you one day, Miss Minamoto."

And with that he passed by her still with a smile on his face and she couldn't help to want to smile back. After all, if she wasn't so out of touch with her mind she may have even smiled and said hello. He was a nice man even though she knew what he had done, much like Sesshomaru, and she knew she would one day have to take control of herself though today would not be that day for in the next second Izayoi came to look at her and she spoke slowly and quietly as if Rin were some complete invalid and not just mentally broken. Whatever had Rin done to this woman to make her not like her at all?

"Hello, Rin."

That was all she was given and as she passed Rin gripped Sesshomaru, maybe a bit too hard that she intended, but she swore on of these days she would tell that woman to get off her case. Again, today was not that day because she needed to go home. Originally she didn't want to because she had planned on staying, but now that Izayoi had made her presence and Rin had started her cycle, she knew the best thing would be to leave the family to themselves and give Sesshomaru piece of mind by going back home. After putting out his cigarette he led her back upstairs to get her books and products before he did just that and took her home for the night.

**________________________________________________________________________**

Later that weekend they were the only two in the large estate since Inuyasha had left with his parents for some 'family' thing that everyone was supposed to join in on. Of course, Rin found herself ousted from the family gatherings because they had gone skiing in the mountains somewhere and she had not wanted to go. Being home was just as fun for her, if not more so because, as reluctant as they were to let Sesshomaru stay from the family adventure, they had let him stay behind to be with Rin. It was not that she didn't fit in with them (even though Izayoi did not like her much) it was that she had no inclination whatsoever to be stuck in a lodge with a bitchy Inuyasha, a woman who didn't like her, and though she was on good terms with Inutaisho, she didn't want to ruin their vacation by being the only non-family member. This Saturday evening she had been trying to do her weekend Math homework and at the same time pay attention to the weather report about record snowfall hitting Tokyo when she couldn't help but close her eyes to the soft sounds of the mighty wind outside along with hoping that Sesshomaru would get home quickly so as not to be caught in the weather.

________________________________________________________________________

Getting home was more of a task than he had planned it to be. First, he had tried to gather intel on one of his hits, but as soon as the snow started to fall the roads became a bit icy since he was in the backcountry of these lands. It was not that he could freeze to death or if he crashed he would die, but it was the fact that he did not want Rin to worry about him. Then, when he was finally able to return home after hours he had to trudge up the snow covered driveway as the wind blew against him and snow flurries blocked his vision. Despite all this he was looking forward to spending a warm night in with her and continuing to enjoy their type of vacation together. He had opted out of the vacation because he knew Rin would not be able to handle all of the people surrounding her and also a new atmosphere. Rin had her own problems and she especially did not need Izayoi sending a few glares at her. So, he had decided to stick around with her because he knew he would always have a good time with her whether only talking or conducting _other_ activities.

Tapping off his shoes when he stepped inside the home he was about to start looking around for Rin when, as soon as he turned away from hanging up his lengthy, black coat, he found her laying in a pretty inviting position, which he took full visual advantage of. She was sprawled out on the couch in her school outfit; with the only things not with her attire being her vest and tie which were draped across the back of the couch. With one leg taking up the whole of the couch and the other bent at the knee with her foot making contact against her other knee he had perfect view of her creamy thighs. Rin's arms were folded atop one another while her head lay upon them, facing the back of the couch. Speaking of creamy thighs, as soon as he crept quietly closer to her he felt his heart thump a bit quicker. Shit! He cursed at himself and a solitary whisper out loud, but luckily it didn't wake her. The juncture of her thighs was covered with a thin piece of jet black silk and his reaction to her was pretty much instantaneous when he felt he was beginning to have less room in his pants than before. This little woman may not have known it, though he certainly did, because she bore so much power over him with that body of hers; she had no idea what she could do.

Reluctance ran through him as he left her there in order to put something on that was more comfortable all the while knowing that in a few moments he would properly deal with her. As he changed he found himself a bit more happy than normal. Besides the fact that he had a lovely woman downstairs he also had a break from his family and also more of his father's orders. The previous day was not very active with only he and Rin going to school, he seeing off his family at the airport, and coming back home to find Rin making herself something to eat for dinner, watching her do a bit of homework and helping her where ever necessary and then relaxing next to one another on his bed for the rest of the day. It may not have been active, but this weekend had meant a lot to both of them to be spending so much time together; it was nice. Coming back downstairs in a pair of grey sweatpants and a red cotton, button up t-shirt he found her in much the same position except this time she had turned her head to face right where he was standing.

Without trying to wake her he moved a few stray strands of hair out of her face and she scrunched her nose up a bit, but still remained the same. Looking back down at her skirt he instantly found a better way to spend the rest of their day. Sure, she had been doing homework by the looks of the problems hastily written on the page, but that would change soon enough. Pushing the school issued crisp white shirt out of the way he found the zipper and snap closure at the back of her skirt and smoothly undid both while she slept on. Now, getting the skirt off was another thing all together and hopefully she would be up for a bought of sex because he knew she would wake since she had to be turned over to get both her top and bottom off. He called her name a few times and soon enough she moaned a bit, pushed her hair back away from her face, yawned and then welcomed him. She was about to sit up when he hovered over her and pushed her back down. For this he received an awkward glance; even so she stayed there and smiled up at him again. When he finally bent down to kiss her that kiss turned into something more she pushed him away and whined.

"But Sesshomaru I don't wanna have sex, I wanna go outside and play in the snow."

It was not that her voice fell on deaf ears it was the simple fact that her neck was way to enticing to leave without any fang marks. Speaking against her skin he decided to answer her.

"Not now, maybe tomorrow."

Again, she groaned and tried to push him away even though she laughed when she felt his tongue behind her ear.

"Stop it. I want to go have fun, not have carnal relations with you, you insatiable demon!"

He could not help but chuckle at her description of him. It was pretty accurate because when it came down to it he could never get enough of her.

"You know you enjoy having sex just as much as I do."

"Yes, but not when I want to have fun outside."

With a light growl he looked down at her as she smiled up at him. Decidedly, he let her up and she thanked him with a quick kiss.

"Get dressed, warmly, and we will go outside."

As she ran upstairs he waited to hear her ruffling through clothes and instead watched her race back down and smile up at him. Grabbing his shirt collar he was pulled down and into another searing kiss before being let go.

"If you genuinely _try _to have fun with me outside, then when we come back in…well, who knows what will happen."

She gave him a wink before she made her way back up the stairs then she turned around

to look at him.

"Well, you told me to get dressed. Don't you wanna watch?"

Laughing she bolted up the staircase as he growled behind her and ran right after her up to his bedroom. As soon as her laughter rang in his ears he knew for a fact that they would not be going outside until the next day and that was perfectly fine with him. They were only trading one type of fun for another.

* * *

A/N: Yay Kagome came about! Woot! And Inu and Kags are at it again. Go them! Awww but they love each other we all know it. So review please! Don't know when the next chapter is coming but I hope soon. :-) You know I was going to post this chapter much earlier than I did, but then I had a thought to add in there and also a bit more of how Rin is and I couldn't leave it out, so I went in and added it. And that is why it was a bit late, sorry!

P.S. WOW no new words this time.


	4. Sunday, Blood Sunday

"8, 9, 3"

_Chapter 3:_

_Sunday, Bloody Sunday_

A/N: This chapter title actually came about because I was listening to a song by the same title and if you know me you know music inspires me to write 99% of the time. Hehe, just a thing with me I guess. So what is in store for this chapter you may ask? Not telling! Haha! You have to read it! Al right you get a hint. Since I'm being so generous something happens to Sesshomaru...DUN DUN DUN!

* * *

**A** raucous was what she caused when he had gone to school the following week. Tracking down Inuyasha hadn't been too much of a task since she knew from other idle chatter in the school that he always hung around the perverted boy and even Kagome at some times, who also went around with Sango the girlfriend of the pervert. Finding him talking to the pervert she came at him from behind and grabbed one of his sensitive dog ears and drug him down the freshman hallways screaming and bitching at her to let him go which of course she did not.

"Where is her first class Inuyasha?"

"What the hell Rin! Get the fuck off of me!"

A glare was sent his way and he shut his mouth before mumbling something incoherent. He was looking down at the ground and obviously he had figured out what it was she was doing.

"What was that again?"

"Same as me Ancient Japanese History room 212."

Still she didn't release her grip on his ear as she walked down the hall with him. Although he did try to put up a bit of a fight as they got closer she only had to pinch harder for him to pay attention and she tossed him into the classroom. Kagome occupied one of the desks in the front of the class. Good, then he would be just as humiliated as Kagome had been. Ah revenge was bittersweet for young Inuyasha. She shoved him into Kagome's desk in which she looked up and gasped then blushed not saying a word. He almost made a run for it when she blocked his path four times and again, shoved him into the desk. Glaring at him she looked over at Kagome and offered her a smile. All her friends were watching with interest as well probably half due to Rin and the other due to Inuyasha.

"Apologize to her and don't act like you have no clue as to what I am talking about. You were a dick to this girl now retract your statements."

"Bitch I didn't understand that last word but I am NOT going to apologize!"

And with that one first word uttered from his mouth she jerked his head down by his ears and proceeded to whisper heatedly and loudly in his ear.

"Listen here you little prick you WILL apologize to her least I get your brother down here. He also disliked how you treated her now do it before I punch you for the second time in your life. Want another black eye?"

She heard a growl come from him in reply so she released him and shoved him in front of Kagome again. He was looking towards the floor while he spoke. He wasn't being the most sincere but it was a start.

"I'm...sorry...for what I said last week Kagome."

He shoved his way angrily past Rin and took his seat at the side of the classroom grumbling to himself and more than likely calling her every word in the world but she was glad for what she had done. She found the girl's giggling between one another except for Kagome who seemed to still be blushing madly. Deciding to talk to Kagome she got the girl's attention and moved her head to the very front of the classroom where they would not be heard by the other girls or the stupid half-demon.

"I'm sorry I had to do that though. He was out of line with doing and saying whatever it was he said to you."

"Um...thanks."

Rin gave her a small smile before she spoke and he words seemed to perk the girl right up along with brightening her blush.

"It'll be fine from now on. If he says anymore shit to you then just tell me. I've known him for a few years now and he's always an ass but I think he likes you. I know for a fact that your blush means you like him too. So just be patient with him and when he says things disregard them and he'll warm up to you in time. He used to complain about me all the time, we still fight of course, but we don't hate one another like we first did when I met him. He'll grow on you. I know that seems unlikely now but I think you two would make a nice couple. By the way, just so you know this doesn't mean we are friends, believe me you don't need that."

Without waiting for the embarrassed girl to reply she took off towards her own advanced history class before she was too late.

* * *

Lunch was not in the least exciting, although she did enjoy the glares Inuyasha sent her in the hallways whenever he saw her that morning and she just laughed at him which made him even angrier. In her defense she hadn't meant to hurt him but he didn't want to listen so she had to take drastic measures for him to lighten up and quit being such an ass around Kagome. Hell, matchmaker was quite fun sometimes she had to admit.

She was at her locker getting her textbooks for the next set of classes before going to the lunch hall when she felt a hand land on her hip which always made her mood lighten a bit. Not paying attention to what she knew was going on she placed her books into her bag and that's when she knew it wasn't Sesshomaru. The hand deliberately traveled to her ass and squeezed; nope definitely not Sesshomaru. Sure he had grabbed her ass before but he respected her space during school and only held her hand or her waist lightly when they were in the confines of the school grounds.

Turning quickly she punched in an automatic reaction and the man fell to the floor. Son of a bitch it was the pervert that was speaking to Inuyasha this morning! Oh well, he deserved it.

"I only meant to ask if a beautiful lady such as you would bear my children."

She bent down next to him and smiled in a way that she knew was sadistic. Hell, she had learned from the best!

"Sorry, I can't do that I have a boyfriend. By the way you should know that he is Inuyasha's older brother and as such there are certain rumors we'd like to keep to ourselves. Whatever the case I'll let you slide this time, but touch me again and I'll be forced let him have you."

Changing her smile to a warm one she patted her shoulder in a childish manner and watched the blood run down his face.

"I would go to the nurse if I were you and get that nose looked at. Maybe your girlfriend should take you although, I'm sure Sango will understand where I'm coming from. Well, bye-bye."

Sighing she knew this would be yet another incident to all to her list of social instances to deem her even more hated by the school population, but Sesshomaru was undoubtedly rubbing off on her. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder before walking lightly down the hall towards the doors to the lunchroom. A song began to form in her head and she laughed. Things came to her in the oddest moments. After paying for her lunch she sat down and waited for Sesshomaru to appear before her where they sat at the end of a small table where they always sat. He hadn't been able to take her in this morning so she had ridden her bicycle like a lot of students but he had promised that he would be there. He always had good grades and as long as he did the work his teachers never seemed to care when or where he went off to. He was making the top grades in the school and no one seemed to question him except Rin who was the sole person to get away with it.

Constantly she found herself looking around the cafeteria hoping that he would come before looking down sadly at her food before eating it. A sigh crossed her lips when she sat down again after finishing her meal and cracked open a book for her next class; good old Chemistry. How she loathed it. The only good thing was that Sesshomaru was able to help her understand the harder aspects to it. When she was five pages into not knowing anything she felt a shadow was over her and it appeared over her book behind her.

A voice whispered into her ear and she felt as if she might scream. She knew what he had been up to and thought that maybe the worst would happen. He always worried her even when he told her not to. It was a feeling that she couldn't help. Would it be today? It was a simple question that ran through her mind every time she wasn't around him or he was late for meeting her.

"Still not understand it?"

Wanting to kill him was the thought that passed through her mind and she knew people were watching but she could not help leaping to her feet and hugging him incredibly hard. She wanted to punch the hell out of him and scream even though she held back on that for after school hours.

"I thought something had happened to you. Don't do that to me."

Receiving no reply she released him and sat down as he made his was around the table and sat in front of her.

"I was out on business."

Words she was used to by now and also words that did not help her to be put at ease.

"He got away and it took me a while before I had to give up and come back here to meet you. My apologies on being late."

Even more words that did nothing. At least he was here though and that made all the difference to her. They sat and talked like normal after he reassured her that it would be a few days before he went out again. He had to let the guy he was chasing down feel like all was well before trying to find him again. Happy that he would be back for a while now she told him about what she had done to Inuyasha that morning and he was mistified but satisfied with her decision. They shared a laugh at his next words.

"I would have approached it differently but I believe you have made your point to him."

* * *

He had agreed to take her home that day but she insisted that he put her bike in the trunk because she refused to leave it at school where it could get stolen. Reluctant to get dirt on the interior of said trunk he did it anyway when she complained about it being an old one that her mother had bought to use when she went to college and of course he couldn't let it be, so he caved. Whenever she talked about her parents in pulled at the thin strings in his (mostly) cold heart. Her parents had been murdered in their home while she had hid. She never had told him who had done it, but he knew she knew and that frustrated him. He would kill them, that was for sure if she ever gave who they were. Along with no names given she also did not tell him what the reason was for her parents' deaths. If he gave her one thing in their relationship it was space when she needed it. Never did he pressure her for answers after the one day he upset her by bugging her about giving up the people who had committed the act. That was exactly what she needed, however, he also knew that one of these days she would tell him and he would get it out of her sooner or later.

She had told him on the way to her home about the song she was starting to come up with and he was surprised, yet a little excited, to know that she was finally deciding to make a few of her own. While he could write songs she had a lovely voice and she could write poetry like no other. So, to him, turning that poetry into songs should not be difficult but he knew she struggled with wanting to keep it poetry or make it into a song because she didn't want to steal from him what he was best at. Of course he scoffed at this notion but she seemed to stick by it. And finally she was doing it all on her own.

They had stepped into the quiet house with her grandmother gone to her daily routine of hanging at her friends' houses much like a teen would he had asked her if he could hear what she had come up with, so she paired it with a tune she had been using a lot and never had any words to. This song set well with the lyrics she had come over during her chemistry class, although she should be paying attention more. Sitting next to her on the small wooden piano bench in front of an old piano her mother used to use while teaching an only happy Rin to learn. She had ceased learning after her mother had passed and her skills had faded, but just getting her to touch the keys had been a trial so he let her do as she must on her own and now he was to be rewarded. Although the keys were a bit un-tuned its flow was good enough for him to discern and her voice floated through the abode.

It couldn't be helped when he noticed that the song was about her childhood and what she had seen and heard as well as what she was put through. Happy that she could produce something from herself that was also a look into whom she really was happened to be an amazing feat for her, he knew. But for her to share some of her more intimate feelings with him was an even greater gain from taking the time to listen. If something did happen to him, which was a great possibility he was a bit fearful that she would not be able to make it, much like she had stated in her lyrics. He would dismiss his fears for now to be in her presence, although it would not stop him from thinking it over in greater detail when he went home.

"So, would you like to have something to eat or are you still not into human food like always?"

All he needed to do was raise an eyebrow and she would know the answer, which she did and she walked off into the kitchen making herself a fruit salad and returning to the small bench that sat adjacent to a small window with which light streamed through and she watched the people walk across the street. Instead of watching her eat he decided to dabble on the keys that he knew well. She was a good player but along with the guitar he also knew the piano and he played idly while she ate. After choosing a few Mozart and Beethoven pieces he began to play something he had been working on and she perked up to listen intently.

"This new?"

Not taking his eyes off of the keys he played until he couldn't anymore and sat with a heavy growl. This caused her to look over at him with a questioning glance.

"I have nothing after that. I cannot seem to find something that will fit."

She smiled at him and told him to play everything over again and stop when he had what he already knew. He obliged and again she gave him a wide smile.

"The beginning sounds light and airy so why not take it down an octave and then at the end go up again. It's only a suggestion though."

She finished eating her fruit while he thought over a few things and then a few bars came to him in which she clapped her hands and laughed telling him he had gotten it right and only needed to build off of that. The beginning was about when he had first met her and now the middle was what he felt right now. He felt a bit reluctant of her fear for his safety and also a bit angry that he could do nothing to help her with that fear. He was in a risky occupation but he could do nothing but try and reassure her and that only went so far. Then, he began to wonder when the end of the song would come. She said it should be happy again at the end so happy he would make it he just needed to think of something that would make her happy and in turn, make him feel the same. He could not help but feel that things would only get worse for them before they got better.

* * *

The weekend came by in a buzz of more rumors about Rin's antics with Inuaysha and, as always, she just ignored them and went on with her life. After her breakdown in front of Sesshomaru she would use this opportunity to show him she could be tough when needed. Thinking back on the week she couldn't believe that she had played such a personal song, but the lyrics and tune had matched perfectly and she was elated with the result. Her first song! He hadn't said anything afterwards and she knew he would say something eventually. However, she felt that he did enjoy it and that made her proud of herself. Pride was something she hadn't felt in a while after getting a D on her latest Chemistry homework assignment. She needed to go over it with Sesshomaru since her teacher was going to give her another chance since she was struggling with the course. As grateful as she was to be helped by both her teacher and her boyfriend she still felt sick thinking about having to do the homework over her weekend.

He had been there to help her after school with the homework on Friday but she hadn't seen him since then when he went home at 11:00 that night. Wow, she really missed him and realized it. Damn, it sucked having to worry about him. He was out there doing what he normally did and she still worried. Looking at her watch she noticed it was 11:30 on Sunday night and she sat up in bed because she couldn't sleep. Her grandmother had decided to stay over at one of her friend's houses for a late game of whatever old people play and she was all alone in a quiet house. It was eerie for sure and it was only made worse because she hadn't had a text or phone call from Sesshomaru since Friday either.

Turning over to avoid looking at the long moments as they ticked by she concealed her head with the covers and gave a long exasperated sigh. That's when she heard it someone was banging incessantly on her front door. She hoped it wasn't some damn drunk or burglar. So she took her porcelain lamp with her after she ripped it from its socket. She never had visitors even with her grandmother here with her so it was odd indeed. Looking down at herself she noticed her tiny shorts and white tank top and she could careless what she looked like. That damn person would not even notice her when their head met clay. Creeping lightly down the stairs from her room down to the first floor she had her lamp raised high when she noticed that the knocking had stopped and the shadow of a figure danced in front of her vision. He was inside already!

Freaking out she screamed and ran at him with her lamp raised high to hit him anywhere with it, but she wasn't fast enough because the intruder grabbed her hand and she dropped it with a loud crash and a gasp on her part when she saw who it was. He grunted and let go of her wrist before falling towards her whom she caught with ease though keeping him upright was a different matter. He was never ill or injured this much before but blood seeped from his chest and onto her white top and she looked down at his blood speckled face, obviously not his blood, and cringed. Her Sesshomaru was injured; he was a demon and this scared the hell out of her. He was supposed to heal quickly what on earth was going on?

Being leaned upon by a man that weighed way more than her she did her best to gently lay him on the hardwood floor. Almost instantly blood began to pool under him and only seemed to grow larger the longer she sat there amazed. Amazed because sure he had come home with a few scratched and wounds here and there and most of the time they seemed to heal immediately after he received them but it didn't happen this time. She could only guess as to why the knife in his chest was still dripping blood.

He grunted a bit already knowing her question and there was no time for it. She needed to work quickly because his speech was fading and he needed to catch his breath to communicate with her. Where the knife hilt was sticking out of his chest she assumed it had clipped a lung and he was struggling to breathe properly.

"Poison-on-blade. Rip-out-and-push-hard-for-a-while."

Her reaction was to gasp which only made him give her a glare. Goodness why did he have to come to her? She knew she wanted to help him but she was completely afraid that something would go wrong and she wouldn't know what to do. His step-mother knew about these things from the few scars her had on his body that Izayoi had helped treat before Rin knew what was going on but this was worse. Touching the area around the wound made him growl at her in pain and having an angry dog in front of you was not a good thing. Nice to know her grandmother would not be back until tomorrow, she had dodged a bullet with that one.

The black tight shirt that he wore was covered in thick, congealing red; some his own and obviously the other man's. Well here went nothing. She bent down next to him on the floor and sat up on her knees. With one hand hovering over the white hilt of the knife she smiled down at him and lightly kissed his collarbone. Hearing the beginning of an amused and satisfied growl she sat back and over him in a second's time and pushed down the skin around the wound and jerk upwards on the knife. This made Sesshomaru growl louder but as soon as it was out she threw it to the floor and straddled him and put both of her hands on the wound and pressed as hard as she could and listened to the hiss emitting from her boyfriend. This was way she hated doing it; he was in pain and it was her fault.

Tears leaked from her eyes but she didn't stop pressing on the wound and gave a sad try at a nice smile for him when she noticed him looking up at her. Nothing registered with her except the heavy breathing from the man under her and the quiet drip of the kitchen faucet behind her. Tonight was a quiet night indeed and cold too. He even made an attempt to quell her misplaced thoughts and since he couldn't get his arm to reach her face, he settled for smoothing over the creamy skin of her thighs. Sure, she was glad that he was trying to calm her down and it was not that he was doing a bad job of it, it was that she was simply too afraid to calm down at the moment. Her feet felt like icicles and she laughed to herself. Even the time appeared to be irrelevant because when she looked up at the digital clock on the small table next to the living room couch she found it to be 2:00am. Damn she had school tomorrow too! Oh well, it would just have to wait since he still had to push the poison out of his system which would probably take another day and the wound from tonight would not be going away due to the effectiveness of the poison.

Thirty minutes later she gently took her hands from his chest and looked down. Good the bleeding had ceased. Getting up she reluctantly left him there and went about trying to find gauze that she had under her bathroom cabinet and also ointment to keep it from getting infected. There would be no point in stitching it since this part of the wound would heal by tomorrow afternoon...hopefully. Finding all of what she needed, including a cloth to wipe the blood from his chest and face, she went down the stairs and he still lay where she put him. A smile lit her face. Half of it was over and after she got him up and over to the couch he could sleep while she cleaned up after him.

She had taken his shirt off and grimaced at the wound he had in his chest and started to clean around it along with his blood-speckled face. The cloth seemed to soothe him because it was lukewarm and he smirked up at her. Wanting to hit him for his asshole behavior instead she refrained and settled for a glare instead. Just wait until he got better she would give him a speech like she always did and she knew for a fact that he hated them. Hehe. Oh well he was the one getting himself in trouble. Sweeping the cloth across his brow she finally spoke to him even though she expected no answer.

"I hope you caught that guy right? He better of been more injured than you."

Again, he grinned up at her and she couldn't help but laugh.

"He-won't-get-up. He-have-my-knife-in-skull."

She shook her head in affirmation.

"Good. Fucking bastard deserved it. Wow that sounded harsh."

"No-sound-pleasant-to-me. You-become-more-yakuza-everyday. Good."

Having him sit up she wrapped the gauze around his chest as he grunted and groaned about how he needed a smoke, to which she rolled her eyes and continued on dressing his wound. She could do nothing to help but she sat him back onto the couch and he stretched out to accommodate all of it. Again, she smiled at him and patted his arm before she went off to work wiping up the mess in the entryway. Feeling his eyes on her she would look back at him from time to time and smile before going back to her work. After she finished up she sighed heavily and openly looking to the clock and noticing that it was 4 o' clock in the morning. Four hours of sleep to go to school? She needed to take her test tomorrow in Chemistry. Damn she wanted to stay home here to check on him and she knew she couldn't. She'd have to call his family tomorrow morning before she left so they could watch him. Her grandmother would not return until the afternoon so everything should go fine. Stepping back into the living room she lifted his head and placed it in her lap stroking his hair to hear a purr-like sound coming from him and she knew even though he must be in pain at least he was content.

* * *

The next morning she woke up at the regular time since her body had acclimated to doing this every week day. Looking down she saw that he was turned around facing her stomach with one of his arms around her waist. She felt like shit and knew she did not look too much better either, but she had to do that stupid Chemistry exam. Hopefully all of the work she had done with Sesshomaru would help her at least achieve a passing grade. She was about to lift his head from her lap to get up when she heard him growl and nuzzle her stomach while trying to get closer to her if it were at all possible.

"Hey I need to go to school this morning to take a Chemistry exam. I need to get ready."

All she heard was something that sounded like a muffled 'no' and laughed a bit.

"Seriously, Sesshomaru I need to take a shower and get dressed. I know you won't like this but I'm going to call your father and have someone come and get you. I can't have you here and have my grandmother come home to a half naked man in her living room. She'd totally freak. You're already breaking into a fever and I don't want you to be alone today while I'm off at school."

He slowly let go of her and she brushed a hand over his forehead before leaving a pillow in her wake and exiting the room. She obviously did not want to get dressed but after contacting his rather who she knew would be rushing over after the explanation she gave him she felt a weight come from her shoulders. She loved this man but sometimes she was so stressed that when she had time alone, like now, it was a blessed thing. Going down stairs and entering the kitchen she made herself a bit of coffee before taking a few sips and going back up stairs to brush her teeth. More silence allotted her time to think and what she thought of were the ways he was going to explain to her what had happened exactly. Damn man was going to end up in his grave early if he didn't slow it down a bit with the jobs.

When she was downstairs he was starring at her to which she grabbed a paper towel, wet it, and walked over to place it on his forehead to help cool him. She bent down next to the couch and pushed some hair away from his face.

"I know you'll probably hate me in a few minutes but your father is coming to get you. Hate me after you get better though alright? I'm going to come back to check on you when I get home from school okay?"

She never received an answer and she was fine with that. About to leave she didn't expect the grasp that he took to her wrist as she looked back at him. He spoke with some difficulty; however, at least it was not as bad as it had been last night.

"I could...never...hate you. I will be...fine."

A smile shown on her face and she left a key to her house on the top of the frame that jutted out from the front door. Breathing in the crisp air and watching the ice melt from objects she got onto her bike after clasping her coat tighter to her chest. When she entered the school the barrage of whispers was not as severe as it had been the past couple of days and she was glad. There was no escaping the occasional one here and there as those would always be, but her day went fine until she reached Chemistry class. Looking down at her test that she was given thirty minutes to take she couldn't help the smile that etched upon her face. Some of these she knew. Wow! It was the first time she knew for sure at least 70% of the test. Well, looked like Sesshomaru was going to get a greater gift than a simple kiss when she saw him today.

* * *

No more than three steps into the main entrance to the house she was met in a hug (for the first time since she had known the woman) from Izayoi. So it took her step-son getting in trouble to elicit this action from the woman? They had not hated one another, but Rin and Sesshomaru's stepmother were not the most social with one another. They just didn't speak. He had told her once that she never thought Sesshomaru and her would last so they didn't pay any attention to the two of them, but wasn't three years enough? Apparently not. Today was the day because Rin had had enough.

"Thank you very much for taking care of our son Rin. If you need anything you let us know."

Holy hell what was wrong with this woman? Did she think I did this for a stunt? Is she out of her mind? Was everything superficial with this woman or am I delirious? It was not like she was obligated to do this for her boyfriend. So many questions ran through her mind at that moment and she gaped at the woman before her. Closing her mouth she finally realized what was going on. Oh yeah, you bet she wanted something.

"Yes, there is something you can do."

The older lady looked relieved as if she knew all along Rin was up to something with her eldest.

"You can get the hell off my back about dating your step-son! You don't say anything and that's the problem! I love him very much and we have been going out for three damn years now and we don't plan on breaking up any time soon, so get over it! I'm not asking for you to like me or accept me into your family, but all I ask is that you at least be nice and civil to me when I'm around and accept that I do indeed love your step-son with everything that I am."

Not even looking back at the woman she made her way up the stairs to Sesshomaru's room and knocked on the door lightly so as not to disturb him if he were still asleep. To her relief he actually answered the door and opened it to let her in. She didn't have too much time to react when he willingly closed the door and picked her up to hug her. Wow, today was beginning to be a day for firsts apparently. He grabbed one of her legs and placed it around his hip and she got the clue and wrapped the other around as well. His head then fell to her cheek and he spoke to her.

"I apologize for making you go through that but I will say that you did an excellent job last night and I intend to thank you fully for it when I find something that will suit the gravity of the situation."

Shaking her head she knew it was pointless to argue with him so she just smiled. Also, she knew the next news she was to give him would make him even happier. Just being with him did more for her than the measly four sips of caffeine she had that morning and the tiredness she was having the whole day disappeared at the moment.

"Guess what I got on my exam?"

He only raised an eyebrow at her and awaited her answer. Obviously she was very excited about this.

"I got...a...75%! I'm so happy thank you very much for helping me!"

Being stunned was not normal for him and he found that being around the girl he held at that moment made him do all of these things he normally would not be doing. However, he did know that if she worked with him and studied hard she would get a passing grade but he was happy because she was happy. The best feelings on the earth came from when he was around her and he planned to keep it that way for a long time.

"Very good, Rin."

"Thanks! I think Mr. Ishiyama was wowed the most. He gave me a 'well done' at the bottom of my test."

Noticing her yawn next he walked over and placed her on his bed before pulling the deep green covers over her and told her to sleep because he had some business to attend to with his father now that he was better. She smiled, said to wake her up in an hour and then there was nothing.

* * *

It had definitely been a blood filled start to his week but now he was feeling a lot better than the night previous. Truly Rin had done an excellent job in taking care of him and he was glad that she was his. Indeed he had heard what she said to Izayoi because of his demon hearing and, not liking the woman too well in the first place, he was even happier that she had stuck up for them. Where Izayoi had come from was wrong and Rin knew it that was why she had reacted that way. Rin was never one to get annoyed at people who didn't bother her (unless they were childish gossipers) and Izayoi accusing Rin of being with him only for material gains was absurd. Sesshomaru also knew that his youkai father had heard what had gone on too. He had taken a liking to Rin after a few months of them going out the first time that he had seen her. Izayoi on the other hand had been a tough one to please. It must have been his father who also agreed with Rin's findings because he didn't step from his study to defend her which was good because his eldest son now knew where to find him.

Without knocking on the door his father called for him to enter and he found him leaning over a stack of papers scattered across his desk. Taking a seat across from the older youkai Sesshomaru waited patiently for him to address his son. Looking around the room a wall full of books and the other full of family heirlooms were what assaulted his vision. His father was greatly into their family tree and loved to display it in his personal study. Looking forward again he watched his father put down a paper and wait for Sesshomaru to speak first.

"I assume you have heard what was being said when Rin entered our home yes?"

"Of course."

Sesshomaru glared heavily in frustration before looking back up at his father.

"I want to know how you feel about her being here with me. I don't understand Izayoi's acts around Rin, or lack of I should say, and I wanted to know what you two really thought since I have never spoken to you about your feelings on this manner before."

It was Taisho's turn to sigh heavily and have his son try to gauge his reaction but he was able to get nothing from it. Patiently he awaited his father to answer him when he began to speak. At first it made Sesshomaru angry, then understanding and then angry again.

"When I first met her I wondered what it was that you saw to attract you. Before Rin you had brought these lovely girls home who were exceptional in looks but not so much in personality as I'm sure you were aware. Always you brought about these women that were merely little fragments to occupy your time with and for those girls I am sorry. However, when Rin came I couldn't see what you saw and Izayoi was quite startled. Here was this young girl covered in scrapes and bleeding; frankly, it was a bit of a shocker for your mother and I."

He couldn't stand the thought of that woman being his real mother and his own father harped on the fact when he knew his eldest did not like her to be called such. He decided, for the moment, that he would excuse his fathers' transgressions and let him continue.

"Then you actually started protecting this girl and caring for her. It was odd for us, you have to understand, when my own son begins to care for someone other than himself. And the moment I realized she was something much more to you than a tryst was when we came home and found you two asleep on one another on the couch. Now, I believe that you fully intend to make her your mate if you haven't already..."

At that he went silent and looked at Sesshomaru for an answer in which his son reluctantly supplied one.

"We have had sex if that is what you mean. I have also bit her a few times, but we haven't exchanged blood. She knows about it and the demon and their mate process, but she hasn't said that she is ready yet. I think she might also want to get married like humans do. Still, we haven't discussed it and of course she won't ask me; she thinks she might upset me is what I assume."

After he fell silent his father said nothing more until he smiled knowingly at his son and continued with his story.

"Izayoi for some reason refuses to believe that Rin is good enough. She seems to think that Rin needs a hardier personality to be in our family and I will say that it would help her, but I also understand her previous childhood situation. Today changed all of that. When Rin stood up to your mother today she came into my office smiling saying that the wedding bells would be ringing for you and Rin soon. I have told her nothing and I will not tell her of what we have spoken today. She should be more open to Rin now and even if it's not filled with love I feel that given some time Izayoi will accept Rin."

Sesshomaru stood up and walked to the door of his father's office before turning around to speak.

"I do not think we plan on getting married any time soon because Rin wishes to attend college before we do, though I will say that if I can discuss it with her we may be mated by the end of next year. I do not wish to pressure her into anything. Izayoi and you as well, should know that even if you had no intentions of accepting her, she would have been a Yamaguchi regardless of your words against it. The opinions of others matter not to me."

"As they shouldn't. Keep taking care of her Sesshomaru. The business we are in does not allow us a lot of time with our loved ones. I believe my life has been long from some type of anomaly even when I am a demon. We can be killed, you and I, I'd prefer you keep her safe for as long as you can and love her just the same."

Thoughts wrapped into his mind like a wet blanket, a weight, if it was a better analogy. His occupation did not allow him a measured amount of time but whose life was guaranteed long anyway? No one. But when your life was pissing other people off and killing you normally did not live long. His father was right and he hated that he knew it too. Looking down at her on his sheets he could not be any more proud of her for sticking with him this long. Knowing that his parents and his brother had just left to get an early start on Christmas shopping this year he found a perfect way to thank her for taking care of him.

He took the blanket of deep green from her body he smirked at his next thoughts that then became his actions. She awoke when he was unbuttoning her white school assigned attire and again smirked at the look of shock that gripped her tired face. Pushing it away from her shoulders he looked down to find her in a bra around the same color as his sheets just a bit lighter. Ah, so she had paid attention to the colors he liked then. He told her this and as expected she blushed while trying to push him off when her bra flew across his room in an instant.

"Sesshomaru what are you doing? Your parents are here and I don't want to get in trouble."

Wildly he sent a kiss to her chest and she gasped at the sensation.

"Do not be silly. They all went out to go early gift shopping for Christmas. You and I are staying here and our holiday will be spent with one another and I am going to show my thanks to you for all that you have done for me."

He then felt her hands on his face and he had to stop kissing her chest to look into her eyes. He could see the tears developing there and he could also see the smile that threatened to leak through.

"Does that mean I am allowed to get you a gift as well?"

"Yes."

"Then it should be a very nice holiday for the both of us."

After two romps around the large bed he held her and his thoughts came racing back to him with even more vigor that at the start of the day. He would find some way to get them both away from the real world that they tried to escape everyday. He _had _to find a little paradise in a world of pain and hurt that they both had been surrounded by their whole lives. His Rin would find solace and he would make sure of it. When this time would come he did not know but it would be with or without him that was one clear element. They would have a nice Christmas and he would make sure they spent it together and that she found just how much he cared for her.

The moon was high and bright that evening as they laid next to one another in a peaceable silence. She was facing the window and was amazed at how large it looked, when she knew for a fact that it could not possibly be that close to Earth, but there it was defying logic. Most of the time they said nothing after each of their acts because she knew he would have nothing much to say and she also knew that there was never really a need to speak at all; they understood one another enough. Although, this night she decided to change things up a bit by turning over and wrapping the extra sheets around her chest to cover herself. Of course for this action he gave her a weird look and she graced him with a show of her tongue. There she sat with her legs under her and looking down at his bare and sculpted chest. Every defining line called to her sense of touch and she wanted to, but she refrained to speak her mind.

"I know that it may seem odd or something, but I wanted to know if you could tell me the same story you did from one of the first times we-"

He gave an unexpected reaction of a sigh, but relented when she knew her sad face would work and it did.

"Come."

Rin looked down at him and pulled the sheets tighter as she lay down next to him again. It gave her goose bumps when he began with the same story she had heard a few times before. On nights just like these she loved hearing him speak of his family's legend and on these same night's she would take pleasure to hear the sound of his deep resonating voice in her ear while she listened intently. It always brought her back to their first sexual encounter and she would never forget it…

Rin had been awaiting her grandmother to come home even though she knew it would be later that night. She was on her stomach upon her bed that night reading up for her history final when she heard the door open and close from the living room. Thinking it was her grandmother, who never came into her room without knocking first, Rin felt comfortable in her partial nudity, so she did not mind at all. Looking back down at the would-be contents of her first year high school final she grew nervous for some reason, but what didn't make a sixteen year old nervous when the rest of your life depended on your grades. Sure, she was exceptional at history, but every time she read something she feared she would forget it when the test came around the next day. Still she kept studying and studying and she did not notice when the door opened seemingly by itself, however when she felt a clawed hand creep from the back of her heel all the way up to her shoulder, this hand was agonizingly slow and was also followed by kisses from a hot mouth wherever the hand traveled a smile lit her features. She could not continue reading because it was distracting, but she felt each kiss and press from fingers inch their way up over her calf, up her thigh, over the swell of her backside, dipping into the small of her back, over her scars and racing upwards towards her shoulder where it came to rest. There she felt a prick and squealed a bit from the unexpected sensation, but relented when she felt his tongue lap at the same spot he had bitten a moment ago. Then, she heard his words drift over the small of her shoulder to her ear in an airy delight.

"Studying I take it?"

"Yes."

She turned to look back at him and found him dressed simply. She knew her home was a bit stuffy, but his clothing was something special for she never was able to see him in these types of clothes before and somehow she knew she would be hard-pressed to see the same sight again, so she looked her fill. His hair was up in a low ponytail, he wore a simple grey t-shirt that did look just a smidge too big for him along with a pair of blue jeans and plain leather men's sandals. Obviously he had either just bathed from his job, or he was just walking around his home and threw something on to come and see her in; either way she loved the look. It was kind of more beach-going than urban Tokyo, but she could get used to it. Watching as he kicked off his sandals, she could not help but smile because she never found him in such relaxed clothing at the expense of his occupation which stipulated he look clean and sharp, it was a pleasant change. Noticing his glances at her barely clothed body he looked into her eyes and already she knew what he was going to ask, so she answered.

"If you have not noticed yet, our fucking air conditioning is broken and it's hot as hell outside. I decided, since I was the only one here I would do some laundry and the only things I have that are clean are this pair of black underwear and my damn bath robe, that's it! Ogle all you want, but we've already had sex once and I think we should wait a while because I don't want to disappoint you again."

The first time they had sex was only a few days ago and afterwards she felt like she could have been so much better for him since he was best for her. So she laid there ready to cry because she was so horrible and he had told her she wasn't and that she would get better with each try, but she still paid no attention. What kind of girlfriend would she be if she was bad at the physical aspect of their relationship; this was an important part of any couple and she shouldn't feel inadequate about it, though she did. He grabbed her book and sat in on her bedside table, which she tried to grab back but failed at and he (reluctantly on her end) turned her over to look up at him as he hovered over her. A lecture was going to come from him in a moment and she knew it.

"Listen to me and listen to every word I tell you. You, Rin, could never disappoint me and I want you to understand that. It was your first time and I did not expect you to do as well as you did and to accept me in such a way. You will _never_ be a failure, do you hear me?"

Shaking her head she caught him glancing at her chest, so reaching between them, she grabbed the sheets and covered herself up. The first time they had sex she was a bit anxious about her scars, but he proved not to care at all and was very accepting, so maybe he was telling the truth. After all, he never lied to her before so this had to be truth. Again, she made a reach for her book to show him that she meant business to study for her exams, but he just pushed it further away from her extended fingers. Giving him an angry glare she tried again and again she failed. Next she tried growling a little to show him she was pissed and this only made him chuckle a bit and grab at the covers she hid herself with.

"I want to study, not have you ravage me you beast!"

Staving off her attacks with her nails he grabbed both her hands and pinned them down at her sides.

"You do not need to study, Rin. You have had your face in that book since final exam times were posted. Rin, you will do fine I promise you."

She gave it one more try but he was a demon and he used that to his advantage. Just as he was bending down to give her a star studded kiss the front door of the house opened and Rin jumped. Her grandmother was home now? Looking over at the clock as her grandmother yelled while thumping up the stairs, Rin noticed it was four hours earlier than she normally came home, so what was the deal? Stealthily she slid out from under Sesshomaru and ran to the bathroom to put her robe on. Then, looking around she found him casually sitting on the bed looking at his hand and she knew she could not have a boy in her bedroom, because even at this time her grandmother knew of her boyfriend, but had never seen him. Certainly she would pitch a fit if she saw a boy in her granddaughter's room! Gasping to get his attention she pointed at him and then to her window. To her suggestion he shook his head no and again she jerked her head at the window and this time followed it up with an angry look, which seemed to work because just as the door opened he disappeared from her sight; damn demons were fast. The only thing she saw to recognize that he had left through the window was that it was open.

* * *

Looking at her grandmother as she came in Rin smiled and asked what the matter was that she had to come home really early and to this there was a simple answer, which made Rin laugh.

"I have a bit of a card game going on with some new girls that came to visit the shrine today. We hit it off so well they invited me, so I needed to come back and get my purse before I went out for the evening."

It was not the fact that her grandmother went out it was the simple fact that she had panicked for nothing. Oh well, nothing could be harmed except for Sesshomaru's ego. Her grandmother looked down at Rin's attire and gave her a questioning look.

"Rin, didn't you shower this morning?"

Trying to keep her smile she soon answered to save face and not have her grandmother looking around her room.

"Uh yeah, it's just so hot I thought I would take a cold shower."

Still she gave the young girl a weird look which worried Rin for a moment and then she must have noticed the window because she went right over to it and closed it with a thud.

"Well there is your problem Rin. You left the window open. It is around 90 outside. Dear I know we need to get the air conditioner fixed, but I just don't have the money right now. Anyway, I'll be out late tonight so…you know what to do. Goodnight."

Smiling at her grandmother she waited for the door to close and when it did she sighed and waited for the front door to close. Upon hearing the click of the front door she rushed from the room and over to the window and hurried to open it. Leaning out she found Sesshomaru simply standing to the side of the roof starring off into nowhere and smoking. Was there any situation he could not handle by looking calm and collected? Yeesh, tugging on his pants leg he looked down, noticed her, at which point she was satisfied and went back in to wait for him by sitting on the bed. Coming in she smiled at him and told him what her grandmother had said. To say that she had become accustomed to him looking at her body already was a solid truth because once he had seen her there was nothing that kept him away, well apparently old woman who didn't knock, but other than that he was fine. She was proved correct when he closed the window and the little curtain and walked over to her looking very much the predator he was. Knowing what was coming she placed her arms over one another and vehemently shook her head no.

"It's too damn hot and I need to study, you know that."

There wasn't any time to say more because he had already relieved her of her robe and was making her laugh with the delicate touches he was placing on her stomach. She had been in a bit of pain though it was not the worst she had ever felt. He lay next to her looking up at the ceiling with one arm across his chest and she could not help but be curious as to why he bit her. Was there some reason for it? He had done it the first time as well so was he part blood sucker or something? These were the same questions she asked him as the music of her heartbeats filled the room. What would it hurt to simply ask?

"Sesshomaru, why did you bite me? It's not that I didn't like it, it's just that I am merely curious is all."

Turning her body to face him she looked up from her position next to his chest and saw an instant look that she had seen before. One of those looks where you knew someone was going to share something confidential or very important to them that you dared not interrupt. There she lay not speaking a word once while he explained himself thoroughly and the arm around her care waist would grip her when something that obviously was similar to their story came about. Still she considered every word he had to say and listened as carefully as she could. These next few minutes would explain so much of his actions around her that it became so significant in the rest of their relationship.

"It is a mark that demon mates give to one another. When a demon mates it is for life and normally, it would be with another demon, but in human-demon relationships it is particularly of interest. You see mating to our species is more than what humans do when they marry; ours means a hell of a lot more. There is even a special story that was once told to my ancestors to keep them from mating humans because it can be such a dangerous thing.

Feeling a grip on her side she rubbed his chest a bit to calm him down before he spoke again.

"The demon's name was Ichiro and he was also a part of our demon clan many, many years ago. He was a decent demon and as of the time he disliked humans, however he was neither cruel to them nor lenient since he needed the humans favor to take the rule over the clan after his father. One day he met a young human woman named Maiyumi. It is said that she was very beautiful and sincere; she was the single entity to bring the demon to his knees. However, over a few years time his love for her grew and rumors spread throughout the kingdom that he had a sordid relationship with a human and this was not to be tolerated in the least. The demon was told to either get rid of her or she would be killed. Though he did not heed the information she did, in the end, die. This was not a fate from those who despised her, but the hand of fate came from the very man she loved and the man who loved her. It began when they ran away one night to be together and he told her of his plan to leave. The girl, however, did not want to leave because she loved her land and her parents and friends she had known her whole life. The demon did not understand this and would not let her leave him to get killed, so with his love he made sure to appease her that night with the final mating ritual, claiming that he would respect her decision and he would die after her if she was to be killed. The very same night he was only supposed to have her drink his blood, but in his state of panic that she would soon die he bit her (as custom to demon on demon relationships) and he could not stop drinking. Soon enough, without the knowledge as to what he was doing to her in his protective demon state, he killed her and bled her dry. He had killed the woman he loved deeply and he soon died as well, but his fate was not sealed quickly because his death took years to happen.

Again at that moment she felt him squeeze her again and she felt sorry for the torment that he must be going through with trying to take care of her and keep himself in control at the same time.

* * *

"It is said that the ancients cursed him to wonder the earth years after her death because he had been the one to kill his own mate. Though it may not have been on purpose he was punished just the same. That is why it is warned against to take blood from a human mate for it is easy to give way and let our demon take control. If one has a human lover it is expressed that he should _never_ drink from her out of the respect for the human's frail body and, as I said, the mistake that might be made. It is also said that the ancients curse human-demon relationships because none have ever made it too far and often the demon half outlives their mate and has to be damned to years of mourning before their death comes, unlike in demon relationships where death comes only days after the other's passing."

Hearing him speak so thoroughly and passionately about something gave her a lot of hope, but also to hear the story gave her some pressure and pain as well. Something swelled in the pit of her stomach and the voice at the back of her mind was screaming that they would never make it; that they were doomed just like the previous couple. Pushing it back she looked up at him with what she knew was a worried face.

"Sesshomaru, do you believe that the ancients do that, curse human and demon couples?"

Knowing it was silly that she should believe this and knowing that it was silly to ask him because she already knew the answer, still she asked him anyway. Sure she was a bit paranoid now and maybe it was stupid to ask but for some reason it was important to her that he either confirm what they said or tell her no. Rin sure hoped it was a simple no and nothing more, then again she never could completely know his thoughts though she was always pretty damn close.

"In a way yes and still in a way no. I believe he did kill her out of the guise of no self control because mating can be intense for both parties no matter the species. As well I do believe in some instance that the ancients were cursing human-demon couples. You also must understand that long ago the ancient's words were dictated by those who believed them and if an ancient said that demon and human relationships were wrong, and then the same ideology would be past down through the generations to the subsequent lines in fear that the powerful demon lineage would be sullied."

She knew his answer and understood it, but she also wanted to know what he really thought instead of riding both sides of the proverbial fence.

"Rin, you have nothing to worry about because we may indeed be cursed, but I wish to have as much time with you as I can regardless of what some old ideology deems. Already I have taken blood from you and I admit that I should not have, but tonight it was too tempting and as long as I control myself I will be able to feed my addiction to you and, at the same time, keep my demon at bay so as not to accidentally harm you. You must trust me on this."

Giving him a quick peck on the check and telling him yes, she then laid her head back down on his chest and reluctantly found her eyes closing. If what he said was true, then she needed to treat everyday with him like a blessing because if the god's had not cursed their relationship, then surely his occupation did. Sure, she was scared too death about what would happen next in their lives, but she would hang on as long as he did and she would do so with vigor and pride. Minamoto, Rin would not shy away from the threats that being with him harbored. A laugh escaped her when he spoke again before wishing her pleasant dreams. There was nothing that got past him when it came to her needs and if it happened to inconvenience a repairman at eight in the morning, then so be it.

"Your air conditioner will be fixed tomorrow morning."

Rin could not help the memory and she came back to him just as he was finishing up the story. Still, she felt a bit bad for zoning out, but it was a special time for them so she forgave herself a bit. She kissed his bare shoulder and laid her head down to sleep when she was struck with something else to ask him. Turning back around to look at the moon she found a few clouds passing over it and somehow it made the picture more calm and soothing. It was now or never and she knew she would not get the exact answer she sought, but she would try for any reaction at all. His personality did not allow him to show too many ranges in emotion, though she had seen a few, but this current question she had there would never be a solid and wanted answer. Rin knew how he felt and sometimes that was enough and then there were other times when she wanted to be reassured and he did so with touches in the night and subtle gifts and pleasantries. Though she would never receive the words, the actions he used made it all the more special.

"Sesshomaru, will you ever stop caring about me?"

Sesshomaru was just full of surprises because she never expected what she got. This was as close to an 'I love you' as she was going to get and she knew it. This moment was made even more special with his words that were whispered to the witness of the moon in his bedroom window.

"Never."

Smiling to herself she reached back and grabbed his arm and pulled it around her to her chest and gripped his hand in her own to let him know that she understood and cherished his response. There was nothing greater than being with him in there special moments, but who was she kidding, with the job he had every moment she spent with him was special in his own way. As he had always said, he was not guaranteed the next day, so she would live each and every one as happily and fully as she could before the one day when she would either leave first or he would be taken from her in an instant. Either way she loved his warmth against her back, the feel of his rough hands pulling imaginary strings across her chest, and the way the moon seemed to beam down just for them and not cool the air, but make it warm and comforting. Rin could not keep this night continuing on forever for as long as she lived, but damn if she did not hope to.

* * *

A/N: Oh Sess is planning something isn't he? ;-p See he can be sweet when he isn't killing people! So make sure to review and I'll make sure to get to that next chapter as soon as I can. Btw, yes sex was in here I just didn't want to write it because it's late where I live and I'm tired! Bagh!


	5. Plastik Casket

"8, 9, 3"

_Chapter 4:_

_Plastik Casket_

A/N: I know it's been a long time, but University life blows when you're in the English department. Oh well, I asked for it. Sorry about the wait. Okay so we are four chapters in and I am hoping you guys still like it. This is a look into what happened in Rin's past so let us all get ready for some flashbacks, drama, and sadness. Don't fret no one dies but the title of the chapter is a metaphor. Wow these titles are getting morbid. Haha! I love em' and they're staying. Also we get to have some x-mas cheer in this chapter!

note: little star like things stand for a short time change but still within the context of the flashback. Thanx. Also, I know plastik is spelled wrong, but I wanted it that way so for those who are annoyed with it, deal!

* * *

**Trying** desperately to dress in a speedy enough manner for Sesshomaru to find her both acceptable and also to get her to his car as soon as possible was a challenge. She was already fifteen minutes late and she was still on the last detail of her outfit: her hair. It just was not curling the way she wanted it to and she was getting pissed. Her grandmother had tried to help an hour ago before she left for a friend's house to celebrate the holiday season but it didn't help at all. Cussing at the iron didn't look to be helping either but she continued to do it anyway. Ripping the plug from the wall after getting annoyed she ended up burning a finger, cussing some more, and finally running a brush angrily through her hair and pinning half of it up with a small black and plain pin. Stepping back into her room she looked at herself in her mirror and found it to be acceptable.

She had a nice deep crimson shade on her turtle neck sweater and a pair of tight jeans. It was cold outside and she refused to wear a skirt and heels where she would end up freezing too death while slipping on the ice of the pavement and embarrassing herself. A light coat of blush and some subtle gold shimmering eye shadow finished off her look. As well a nice gold chain with a small real rose petal dipped in layers of gold hung from her neck which Sesshomaru had explained in the note that accompanied the piece of jewelry she had found on her doorstep that morning wrapped in a black velveteen box. He had also gone on to explain that it was only a part of her gift. Shaking her head in amusement, she went about pushing her hair and outfit around to make sure she was presentable.

"Everything is going to go well tonight and Sesshomaru will love my gift."

She heard a horn and didn't have to look out her window to know whom it was that made the noise which surely pissed off the neighbors at ten in the evening. Screw them, they had their Christmas and now it was time for her to have her very own. Her grandmother always got her a gift and set up a small tree on their coffee table but that was it. She always spent her time with her friends but who could blame the woman she had a life and Rin didn't mind...much. Grabbing her gold handbag she ran down the stairs and locked the door before making her way to his car. The heat felt nice on the skin of her hands and face.

"Did you forget something Rin?"

Looking down at herself she didn't see anything wrong with how she looked. Even going as far as leaning over to look in the mirror she didn't see anything and turned to him with a questioning glance.

"No. Why? Do I look bad?"

"Of course not. You did, however, forget a coat."

A smack rang through the car as he pulled out of her driveway and onto the road when her palm connected with her forehead. She was going to go insane if she were around him any longer. She always lost her head when it came to him, but he was addicting and that was for damn sure. A chuckle rang through her ears which she knew she didn't have to look over to know who it was.

"It's quite alright Rin. You look lovely tonight and I must say I am glad you decided to wear the necklace I gave you. I hope you like it."

Not being able to help it she reached a hand up to glide it between her fingers.

"Of course, I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you very much."

Nothing else was said between them for the duration of their journey to his home. When they arrived his father and step-mother greeted her in a kind manner and told them that the cooks would have dinner ready in a few minutes and to mingle with the few other guests that were there. Rin didn't want to mingle she wanted to have a bit more quiet before she listened to everyone speak at once and over top of the other. Sesshomaru took her hand, obviously knowing what it was she had been thinking moments ago, and lead her up to his bedroom and as soon as the door was closed the loud sounds were muffled greatly and Rin promptly sat down on his bed with a heavy sigh of relief.

"Will you be alright for the rest of this evening?"

"Yeah, just needed a few more moments before I go into all the mayhem."

He slipped onto the bed behind her and kept her between his legs as he wrapped both of his arms fully around her waist.

"I'm just not too used to all of these people around. I remember when my parents were alive it would just be them, my grandmother, my brother and I with a nice quiet meal and a few gifts to exchange and that was it. With your family it's so different. You have guests and your own family to contend with and then there's me who gets invited. So much noise and laughter...it's amazing."

"Amazing to you and annoying to me."

She leaned back to smile at him before starring at the door they were in front of and dreading when a knock would come to interrupt their peace.

"You know this is the first time you have invited me for Christmas and it took me so long to get ready. But I have something to ask you. Why not ask me those two years ago?"

"To spend time with my family right away I am sure would have scared you off. They play cards _our_ way and at that time you weren't really sure if I was in a mafia family. They are loud and obnoxious and, at that time, you were frail. I did not want to upset you and have you leave when I was already intrigued. This year you stood up to those at school, my brother, and my step-mother. Those actions made me believe you were going to be fine and I still think you will."

"Well, thank you."

Before he could kiss her as she knew he was intending, a knock came from the door and a voice she knew to be Inuyasha's floated through the wood.

"Hey guys quit screwing and get down here for dinner."

She heard Sesshomaru growl and Inuyasha walk off before she laughed. Her actions made Sesshomaru glance over at her while they walked down the stairs.

"Don't worry Sesshomaru he won't get away with it."

Walking into the kitchen she found, thankfully, that she was going to be able to sit next to Sesshomaru and some older gentleman (a human) who looked frail and had grey hair with a grey mustache who smiled at her when he seemed to notice she would sit next to him. She wasn't really paying attention to anyone else because once she spotted Inuyasha as she passed an evil smirk crossed her face a split second before her elbow smacked into the back of his head, which it shot forward and hit the bowl of soup placed in front of him by a server.

Quickly she acted shocked that she had hit him and spoke (fake) words of apology while he cursed her under his breath while wiping his face off. Finding her spot next to Sesshomaru she sat down as he began to sit and the older man introduced himself as Taka Hisayuki. Okay, so she was sitting next to a Korean yakuza lord and he seemed to like her she never imagined that this would ever be her future and now she was living it. Amazing places that life could take you, that was for sure. She was making good first impressions when he smiled at her for introducing herself VERY politely to him and she couldn't help when her face fell at his question.

"So who are you to our young yakuza prince?"

She looked back at Sesshomaru only to find him talking with his father whom was at the head of a table with Sesshomaru on his right. Normally they would be sat more conformed in tradition and in positions according to power, but for this event it was a bit lax although, they sat pretty close to the norm. He wasn't looking at her, but he did find her thigh under the table and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance. So he had been listening to her conversation all along? Asshole. Demons could do some cool ass things. Looking back to the older gentleman she gave him a smile and answer as politely as possible.

"Um I'm his girlfriend. We've been going out for almost four years now."

"Ah. Well, I hope I'll be invited to the wedding."

She laughed lightly which seemed to make the corners of his eyes crinkle as he joined in.

"If we do get married I'll invite you Hisayaki Obayun."

"Oh please dear not so formal. Taka will be fine."

"Ummm...alright."

"Now, let us eat this delicious looking meal shall we?"

Not being able to answer she watched as someone put a plate in front of her, which she wasn't used to, but felt the need to say a quiet thank you anyway before the staff left. As soon as they were gone the table broke into more serious conversations and Rin felt a bit misplaced. Looking over to Taka she noticed the family crest on the top of his hand along with some characters on his fingers and a yen symbol between his pointer finger and thumb. This man was nice for a drug trafficker, money hungry governmental, and porn importer/exporter. All of these obviously did not sully his hands as much as Yamaguchi Obayun's but had others do it for him and just sat back to count the money. Of course, if he were younger he would have done all of these things personally to climb the ranks, but as for right now he didn't do much like Sesshomaru's father Yamaguchi Obayun. She was sitting at a table with the most influential members of society for the underbelly of Japan. God, did she feel like running the hell out of there.

Even though she wanted to make a break for it, she held fast and ignored the feeling in her stomach. It was the same feeling she had when in a room full of rumors however, this time she didn't run. She sucked up all her energy and she would make Sesshomaru proud tonight no matter what she had to do in order to make him feel that way about her. He never said he was not proud of her, but she wanted to prove it to herself as well. She could take this. And so she sat through questions, none too personal, and she sat through stories, some more gruesome than others, and stories of love and hate. It was all too intriguing until Izayoi quieted the table and looked to Rin.

"Rin, Sesshomaru told my husband that you have talents with the piano like he does. Would you care to play a piece or two after we finish dinner?"

Oh this woman was a sneaky bitch, she'd give her that. She supposed this was another test. Why on earth she would do this in front of others Rin had no clue but hell she would do it if it would get the damn woman to like her a bit more. Reluctance filled her when she remembered that the few songs she had were of Sesshomaru and her feelings about her childhood. However, they didn't know about her early years before Sesshomaru and they didn't need to. The only trick would be forcing her to play them in front of someone else who knew what she had been through. Not wanting to play love songs for them she decided on the more personal ones and smiled.

"I'd be happy to."

"Thank you Rin."

Sesshomaru's head spun around so fast she thought he might be possessed.

"Are you sure?"

He had spoken in a whisper and so she decided to reply in one.

"I am. It's time you knew how I felt when I told you those things about me a few years ago. Only you know the meanings so I feel okay with it."

He didn't seem to sure with her answer but he let it go. As desert was being served she listened to the conversations around her and prepared herself for the onslaught of facing her feelings she had at the time in which the poem, where the lyrics were from, had come to her. The overwhelming feelings of dread swept over her. Having kept some things to herself over the years it would surely show through with the songs she had decided on. A lot of her poems had come from her wondering thoughts and feelings during the time before and when she met Sesshomaru. Now they would be out for him to hear and she was nervous about how he may react. Although, in his defense, he did seem to take things well when she was the one to tell him so hopefully he would know to ask her _after_ she talked to everyone. The important questions she knew he would want to find out about and that was what scared her the most.

Steeling up her courage she placed her fork down and excused herself from the table and went to the piano setting near the back of the house. It was solid black with a matching black bench. Loving this instrument was easy, but playing it was a different matter. Before she played it she always had to get used to the way the keys sounded since the one she had at home was dull and a little of set than the one she sat before. As her fingers glided across the keys like silk she knew who had come into the room and she kept playing regardless much like she always did.

"I want to share with you the other part of my gift."

Feeling him sit beside her she pulled her head up when she sensed he was placing a kiss on her cheek, which he did. Her fingers stopped playing when she saw an envelope intrude on her key pattern. Picking it up her eyes scanned the paper after she had opened the seal. Tears poured from her eyes and she hugged him so quickly that he didn't have much time to react.

"Thank you Sesshomaru! Do you know how much this costs? You shouldn't have done it but thank you! Thank you!"

To anyone else his gift would have not meant much but to her it was the world. In particular her mother's world. He had paid for her to have her mother's piano fixed up, cleaned, and tuned. Sure it would take a few weeks but she'd enjoy the silence knowing that it would sound as she remembered it to. With time and use it had worn down and she had wanted to buy a new one but she couldn't seem to get rid of something her mother held dear. Wanting to have it fixed for years she now had the chance for it to sound like new again. The extensive work it was going to take to fix the damn thing was costly enough so she never had the money and now...now it was making her cry harder.

"I know how you feel about your mother's possessions and I would have gotten you a brand new one but I felt that this was much more appropriate. No need to thank me anymore I know you appreciate what I do for you."

That was how the rest of the guests found her; crying and trying to wipe away her tears before they could see. Sesshomaru whispered a 'good luck' into her ear before vacating his spot on the piano bench and leaning on the window sill next to the piano itself. She wiped her eyes a few more times trying not to make a mess of her make-up before clearing her throat and speaking to everyone that had gathered to hear her play. All those accounted for at the table had decided to stay and hear her music and she was a bit touched by it but also frightened. Playing in front of the influential of Japan's crime world was a lot different than playing for her mother, who taught her and Sesshomaru. It was time to get over it and bring a few of the remaining skeletons out of the closet.

"I'd first like to start off by saying that I appreciate everyone staying to hear me play. I would also like to say that I may be able to play the piano but not nearly as well as our Sesshomaru here. He's helped me a lot when my playing and I thank him. Anyway, these songs mean a lot to me and I think they are quite clear in that aspect they also tell a bit about who I am and how I came to be. So...I hope you like them."

After she finished the last notes of her song she waited for someone, anyone to say something but nothing happened until they all began to clap. Looking over to Sesshomaru she found him to be giving her questioningglances and she smiled at him in return trying to reassure him that she would indeed answer his questions after she finished. Not having time to think about it anymore she watched as he walked towards her, bent down, and in front of everyone kissed her on the lips. Wow! Alright what had she done and could she do it again just to get the same reaction a second time? Laughing mentally she smiled at him when he told her he was proud of her and that he did have questions. Figures. He took his place back near the piano before she started her second song. She had a feeling this one would reveal a little more about her mental state when he entered her reality.

He didn't look upon her any different than he had before and she was happy about that. Not wanting him to think her a completely cracked human being she smiled and bowed a bit at the light applause that rang through the room. Everyone smiled at her and told her she had a lovely voice. Even Izayoi gave her a nice compliment and that was a point scored for the night. Now, she faced Sesshomaru who only willingly let her walk over to him and begin explaining.

"I don't want to talk right now, but perhaps a place to be alone where I won't have to worry about prying eyes and ears because Inuyasha and your father seem to be very interested in what those songs meant since they keep looking over at me right now. I don't want to talk about it to them. Take us somewhere please?"

Slowly he gave a nod of his head and took her hand and guided her through the little mass of people that always seemed to block their way. He took her to the library that the family had and indeed like everything else in the house was large and the only people who gave it use were his father, Sesshomaru, and when she was invited in even she would look for a book to read. A lot of the things on the third shelf of the first row of books were off limits to her because she wasn't an Obayun and it was confidential, but everything else she was free to read and she loved to do so when she could. Taking her place on a small set of three stairs that led to a little bit higher ground in the library, she watched him take a seat beside her.

"I guess you are wondering about those songs hugh? Don't answer that. You remember when we met? I know you know that I wasn't always around when you were with me."

He said nothing as he continued to sit on the step and she pulled her legs to her chest and placed her chin on her knee. She always remembered better this way, at least that was the way her warped mind thought.

"I'm not as ill as I used to be and you know I see a psychiatrist a few times a month to make sure I don't regress, but during that time when you found me I had still been suffering form my mental diseases. When my parents died it was the worst thing to happen to me. The songs reflect that and then the deterioration of my mind along with what went on inside of it during that time. You found me not at my worst, but not at my best either. I firmly believe you helped me with that. You've helped me a lot in life and I don't think you even know how much. I'm going to tell you again how that night went and I won't leave anything out. Also, I'm going to tell you about before I met you and about the duration when I was getting to know you. You'll notice some new information I'm ready to share with you will get thrown in, so be sure to pay close attention."

The white ceiling of the library molded together to form the white ceiling of her room when she was eight. The lamp shown on her desk a dusky glow towards the paper she had been practicing on for school. Her door was closed and her mother and father were asleep right below her room on the first floor of their home. It was amazing what went through one's head at that young of an age. Then again after that day her mind was on permanent fuck up mode.

* * *

Sleeping in her room was cruddy sometimes. Her parents had told her that she wasn't allowed to go outside into the garden because she had disobeyed her mother by going outside and playing with the other children. She was different they had said but she could not understand why. Was she so different than any other child? Being grumpy and throwing a fit was what she was good at and she would continue to be if they didn't leave her alone and let her do what she wanted. Having parents sucked! Then, her brother had to make fun of her getting in trouble and that made everything worse.

Making her parents believe she was asleep had been easy, keeping it that way proved to be even more difficult. Right now she was to be sleeping like her parents below her on the first floor, but she couldn't get to sleep so she starred up at the ceiling in mock amusement. Her mind had wondered off into a place she'd love to be most; the garden at the back of her house, when she heard glass break and a sickening creak come from her front door. Her parents should be getting up and making them go away right? Right? Why wasn't anyone doing anything?

A scream came resonating throughout the household and Rin scrambled under her bed as if it would protect her. In doing so she felt her back scrape along the bottom of her bed and pain flamed across her back like white, hot lightening. Thrumming sounds and grunts of pain came from under her and she felt like screaming. This couldn't be happening to her. She hadn't done anything wrong had she? Did she make someone angry or say something she shouldn't have to cause this to happen? Questions rattled off through her mind when a loud pop rushed through the air and she couldn't help wanting to yell because of the pain her back was giving her. Placing a hand there she gasped loudly when it pained her. They had then gone next door to her brother's room where she heard struggling and then another pop.

That gasp was something she shouldn't have done because when she did more thumps sounded and they burst through the door of her room and all she could see were black boots thudding across her wood floor between the purple covers over her bed. She didn't want to die. Quieting her breath she tried not to be loud so that they wouldn't notice her under her bed. Then she heard a voice.

"She's gotta be in here somewhere. That little bitch of a mother of her's wouldn't say anything but we need to find her fast."

"Hiroyuki maybe we should just let her go I mean she's only a little girl you know. She won't remember anything and you know it. We don't have to kill her."

"Shut up! We do need to find her you idiot! Her father deserted us and everything he knows goes with him including people."

She saw a hand grasp for the covers that hid her from view when suddenly sirens could be heard.

"Shit! We gotta go. That bitch must have called the cops before we shot her. Damn! Burn the place and let's get going."

She didn't move when they left. She didn't breathe a sigh of relief either. She didn't move when she saw flames being cast around her room from under her hiding spot. Everything she knew and loved was gone and she couldn't do anything to get it back. Her mother and father were dead. People whom she didn't know wanted her gone, but she had a name to go on. The pain in her back grew worse until she decided to stand up and walk casually down the stairs as if nothing had happened. She could see the emergency vehicle lights flashing through the curtains on the windows but she did nothing. The only action she took was running towards her brother's room and when she found him he was lying in a pool of blood and his chest wasn't moving either. Running over to him she yelled him name and pushed him, but still he did nothing to react.

"Wake up brother! Wake up! We gotta go now and find mom and dad! Wake up."

Still he made no movement and so she ran off to find her parents to tell them the same.

Opening her parent's room had been easy but looking at their bloody bodies hadn't been. Her father's head was half missing with blood covering the walls and her mother housed several holes in her own chest with her eyes cast towards the sky and a gasp on her face. There she dropped next to them and before her eyes closed all she could see where the flames dancing in the catalyst gaze of her mother.

* * *

After that day she was told she would be living with her grandmother in her mother's old house. This was where her mother used to roam and it burned yet comforted her to know these things about the house she resided in. Never was she able to go to her parent's funerals because she wasn't allowed out in the public for a while they had told her. She wasn't allowed to attend school for a while either or even see her friends. They acted like she was dead and that, they had said, was a good thing because her father had been a bad man. Funny, she never thought he was bad. Her dad was always good to her and would play prince and princess with her when she wanted.

They had even told her that the people she saw while she lay awake at night weren't even real. How could they not be real? They were right there in front of her. They gave her medicine that made her thoughts feel funny but whenever she didn't take them the nice people she saw would come and play with her. They didn't tell her what to do and tell her they were sorry about her parents going away. The mean people told her that she didn't remember things right so they gave her another piece of medicine to take. They told her that she wasn't supposed to feel sad, so they made her take an icky pink pill to try and make her happy; it didn't help sometimes. They had said she wasn't okay but she was okay. Being alive was okay right?...

As the years went by she had higher dosages that she sometimes didn't take regardless of what her grandmother thought. Today didn't matter though. She happily took her medicine because today she was going to start her first day (the last year to any of the other students) of eighth year. Then, her grandmother had said that if she continued to get good grades like when they had school in her home, then she would go to her first day of high school soon. She was excited to say the least. She was ready to have friends again and nothing was going to make her unhappy about that.

Being unhappy was a feeling she was getting used to. She hadn't made any friends that day and people kept asking her about her dead parents. They were mean to her and called her mean names. She hated school. Everyday she went things just got worse and worse. Nothing looked up for her anymore and she didn't look forward to anything. However, the week of the fall festival at the school her teacher said because of her good grades she would be able to help out with the fair that was being held that night and even some high schoolers were going to be coming to help out too. Wow! Maybe one of them would want to be her friend!

Hanging the leave from the red and gold streamers had been her job. She liked the brown leaves though, they were nice. Humming something only sounding in her mind she didn't notice someone kick the small ladder she had stood on out from under her. She cried in pain when she felt a sharp jolt run up her leg.

"Where are your parents hugh? Still just an orphan I see."

She felt a kick to her stomach and she cried out.

"See she can talk to other people besides herself. Told ya!"

A fist in her face was what she felt next and then a pretty red color to match the streamers came from her nose.

"Aww does that hurt? Get over it psycho! No one likes you and no one wants to be your friend so why don't you just go away!"

A punch landed on her cheek which she knew would bruise but for some reason her meds decided to leave her alone. She wanted to tell the little girl who watched her to help her but nothing came out of her mouth and the small girl smiled and ran off. Colors of the brightest degree filled her vision and she laughed and cried at the same time. She was fifteen and without her medication (not the most sane person in the world) and right now was a prime example. At that moment she felt pain, loss, hope, and happiness rolled all into one and this was her normality that she had come to know as a child without the awful tasting pills shoved down her throat every morning. Oh well, there were some pretty flowers growing next to her and when she tried to pluck one a shadow cast over them and they died. She cried harder and looked up to see a man with silver hair and the kicks and punches had stopped. Oh she had an angel. How nice; she was lucky to see one and a smile lit her face.

She heard him say something and then the others walked off saying things that started with a 'y' but she didn't catch the rest. He helped her out and she tried to ignore him by going back to doing her work without even paying attention to the angel, but he wouldn't leave her alone. She just wanted to finish putting all the leaves on the streamers and she had told him so when a chuckle ran through him and she turned (on her good leg) to look at him. A moment of lucidity captured her among the flying colors and flowers. He was amazingly beautiful.

"I believe you should come and leave the decorations alone for a moment. You need to see a doctor."

Shaking her head no at the lovely man she began to cry and try to smack him.

"No! No! I don't want to take more pills! I like the flowers, please don't make me go there! No doctors please!"

He said nothing but held her hands to keep her from making attempts to hit him and picked her up. She instantly smiled at the warmth and hugged him.

"You can be my friend. Angel, where are we going?"

A growl surfaced from him.

"I am not an angel, girl. I am a demon and my name is Sesshomaru. I'll take you to my home where my step-mother can have a look at you."

She said nothing and started humming her own song again. She liked this man a lot. Maybe he would be her friend after all? All through the ride in his pretty black car he said nothing to her and she was okay with that. What occupied her thoughts now were ones of how to get the pretty flowers to come back. She was carried again, happily, into his giant home and she yelled then heard an echo which made her laugh.

"I have a small home where the walls are orange and red. They burn me if I get too close. It's nice here you can hear yourself when you talk loud enough. I wonder if my friends are here."

She looked around as best as she could from her position cradled in his arms before she heard him speak.

"You have friends?"

"Yeah other people say they can't see them but I know they are lying. I can see them, but the pills and my doctor make them go away."

To that he said nothing to her when a pretty woman came from the left of the house and yelped at seeing the girl Sesshomaru held. The woman put her on the couch and helped her dress her wounds and Rin picked at the ends of her hair all the while the pretty woman (she found to be Izayoi) talked and talked and talked. Rin paid no attention and focused all of it on the man who had saved her and of whom was on the phone with another man. Then, he said something that made her cry.

"I think she's deranged or crazy. I do not know I just helped her! So what! I can help people! I just saw something in her that is all."

She watched him hang up and turn to her. He noticed her tears and she cried harder to make him feel worse. Seeming to be an unfeeling person; she was a good judge of character. She wanted to whisper so as to make the colors softer because they hurt her vision.

"I'm not crazy. Please don't say that."

The pretty lady Izayoi gasped when he told her he'd refute his statement. Then, he asked her name and she smiled in between Izayoi wiping at her face.

"Rin, my name is Rin. I like you Sesshomaru. Will you be my friend?"

"I wish to think about it."

"Okay!"

Her grandmother arrived hours later while Rin scared down three peaches and two apples with Sesshomaru hovering over her like a hawk. She explained to the nice people Rin's 'problems' like she wasn't even there and made her take a few more pills in front of everyone, which she hated. Then they left with Sesshomaru looking after her as she touched just a breath of an action against his skin. It felt like her home did before the fire happened. Still he was beautiful and she would be happy if he would be her friend.

* * *

People at school still didn't like her but they left her alone and it was nice. Her meds didn't slip as much anymore after that day although she still had her problems and right now she was going to the psychiatrist one day less and all because Sesshomaru had decided to be her friend. It was nice to have one like she didn't have when she was a child. The bad part was that she knew she could be annoying to him and she knew it. Never had she had a friend and now she didn't know what to do and she wanted to be around him all the time. She picked flowers for him, which she always gave him and he accepted even when his step-mother was around to tell him that it was air he was grasping. She knew people saw her as crazy and her 'illnesses' would always be with her, but if she tried at it her doctor said she could be pretty normal if she wanted. Funny thing was that for the first time she wanted to be normal because she realized she liked Sesshomaru more than a friend.

Having known love once she knew that the feelings for her parents and the ones she had for the demon were not the same but not too much different either. One of the days she remembered most was the first day he had kissed her. It was a snowy day and they had decided to meet up with one another at their breaks on a bench outside in the cold weather. Yes, to most it would have been crazy but Sesshomaru had to race back to his school after they ate and it was the best place for him to stay out of sight of the faculty. They were the only ones outside besides a few of the kids who had smuggled cigarettes through the school grounds and were smoking them off to the side probably talking to one another about the crazy girl.

She had been laughing at something when the pretty colors returned to her vision and it scared her for a second before she noticed that the color was a mixture of white, silver, and deep gold. Then his lips met hers and new colors flooded behind her closed lids like a cresting wave. She felt a hand on her face and decided she liked the feeling enough to press into him some more. From the moment he had laid eyes on her he had been protecting her and she later learned he was also breaking all of the rules to whom he was.

Their first date was a success and the weird Italian guy was so nice to her and she smiled at him, but kept herself at a bit of a distance. She liked him but after what had happened to her she didn't want to chance being friends with anyone else. Sure she could be nice to people but Sesshomaru was the last person she let in completely. That night he decided to tell her something very important about himself. She had heard rumors, but she dismissed them hurriedly. Those at her school and others she met often told lies to hide the fact that they knew nothing. However, he proved her wrong when moved the hair from the back of his neck and showed her the Yamaguchi crest inked into the back of his neck. Even then she knew he hid something more extensive on his back because the symbol swam in a sea of black swirls mixed with smooth light skin, but she wouldn't see that until much later in their relationship.

She knew why he protected her and why everyone left her alone. When he had told her he was part of the yakuza and a prince he also asked if she wanted to leave without memories of him. And he had also asked if she wanted him to take her home. Of course she replied a valiant 'no' in exclamation. Simply, she took a bite of food and swallowed before answering with a smile.

"I dream of other places and see flowers and people that are not there. On one hand I have trouble remembering things and on the other I have trouble reliving others. I'm a certified lunatic sitting across from a yakuza prince. I 'suffer' from a form of depression; I am Schizophrenic with a bit of some type of memory disorder because of the fact that I can't remember things at times. The point…is that with you I am…the safest person in the world and I like that feeling regardless of what you do. I don't care! Just imagine what is said about your character when you hang around me! I am not perfect by any sense of the word. I'm a mental case and you're a hired killer who works for shinogi; imagine what it means to me? Nothing, because I like you for _what_ you are to me and not_ who_ you are to anyone else."

The conversation ended there with him walking her to her door and leaving a kiss to her lips. This one lasted a bit longer before he spoke.

"You may have your quirks, but I just wanted you to know so that you could make your own decision. Obviously you like our odd arrangement and I am happy with it as well. So, together we're going to stay and see how long we can keep this going. Now, shall I ask if you are free this Tuesday after school and studies?"

* * *

"Our first date was the best day I had in years. It was wonderful and I'll never forget it. I love being with you and I didn't want to tell you how my thought processes worked in case it sort of...scared you off or something. Don't ask even I don't know why I really didn't tell you. My parents were good people nevertheless it has always bothered me when they mentioned my father. I don't know to this day what they were talking about and I am still curious also at the same time scared. What if my father was a bad man like they said? What will I do with those memories then? Will they change into a different memory and haunt me instead of comfort me at night when I dream of red and orange walls that burn?

"Through all of these years my heart has been simplified to one analogy: a plastic casket. I have a heart, but it's always looking to the death of my parents; always feeling what it was like then. At first you can't break it, but if you are persistent enough it will do so readily. However, you have been the only one to get through before it builds itself back up again to surround my heart and keep those unwanted out but also to lock death and love both at the same time inside of it. So, who will win: you or my memories?"

He gave no reply at first but then she felt his arms around her back and then she was pulled into his warm side. It felt good like the first day she had known him to simply be near him.

"You will keep the memories as they have been. I will help you find out who he was and if he was not a good man always remember that he was good to you and your family. Keeping those memories like you do mine. I am a decent person to those I enjoy spending time with and to you I am what you love; to others I am the last thing they see before darkness. You see me as a lover not as a killer and that is how you will see your father if he ends up being not so decent. It will be alright Rin. You do know that I want that name."

Of course she knew what he was referencing. The name she had heard under her bed that night. She wouldn't give it to him. Even though the man had hurt her she didn't want to give him up. Sesshomaru had hurt people and continued to do so and she didn't want him dead.

"No. I don't want you to kill for me."

She heard him sigh and his nose inhale her sent.

"It is something I do everyday."

When they arrived at her home she smiled at him before grabbing his hand and running them up to her room. There she sat him down on the edge of her bed and stood over him. The odd look on his face was all she needed as a sign to begin explaining herself.

"Okay so I didn't know what to get you and it took me a while to find something, anything suitable. You're a very difficult person to shop for but I finally settled on something and I hope you will like it."

Opening the closet she pulled out a black sleek and shining new acoustic guitar and placed it on his lap. Before he could react she went back to her closet and jumped a bit to the top shelf and pulled down some pieces of off-white colored paper. Taking a seat next to him she awaited what he was going to say so she was given ample time to become nervous.

"I wanted to get you something you'd like. I know you could probably get a better one but I tried my best. You like making songs so I bought you some nice paper for you to write down your notes so you won't have to memorize them. It took me a good two hours to pick it out because I didn't know which one to get. Then, the guitar store guy started telling me all these different things and I had no clue as to what he was talking about. He tried hitting on me a few times and I had to suffer through that nonsense while I was trying to shuffle through the enormous choices in music paper. Goodness, I had no idea there were so many kinds but I guess I learned something from it. It's got new strings and everything so I hope you like it...Do you like it?"

Having rambled most of the time she now awaited his reaction again. Nothing came but when he tried to make a note it sounded bad. She couldn't help the laugh.

"I guess you'll have to tune it then. Sorry about that."

Still he said nothing and she was again getting even more worried than she had been. She was about to ramble again but he looked up at her and smiled. Holy seven hells he smiled and all she did was make a fool of herself to get it!

"I enjoy it very much Rin. I believe on some levels we think alike."

Being careful not to crush her gift to him she hugged him as best she could and felt a light but searing kiss hit her lips before he pulled away and thanked her. She was getting ready for bed and came from the bathroom in her pj's only to find him glaring at the guitar and every so often turning the tuning pins at the top, plucking a note, glaring, and then trying the whole process over again. She kissed him on the cheek and climbed into her bed before telling him to get the hell out of her home and get some rest. He thanked her once more before kissing her on the forehead, turning off her bedroom light and leaving.

"Tonight turned out to be a good Christmas after all. I didn't even break down like I thought I would."

Turning over to stare out of the tiny sliver of light peaking out from between her curtains on the window she thought of her parents and older brother even when her life was filled with bad moments she still found time to attempt to recall the good ones as well.

"Merry Christmas mom and dad. Merry Christmas to you too Tohiro even though you were a pain in the ass older brother. I miss you guys."

* * *

He had arrived home about twenty minutes later and decided to hold off going to bed since he didn't need much sleep and had felt no need to get any rest. Rin had given him a wonderful gift and he was a little miffed that she had not paid any attention when he told her she had no need to get him anything. However, what she had gotten meant a lot to him since his old one was well a bit old. It must have taken her a while to get the money but he would cherish it just like he did everything that was her to begin with. Being lucky to find someone like her was a good feeling that he knew well and it was days like these that he realized that statement to it's fullest extent.

Inuyasha came barging in the front door about an hour later looking quite pleased with himself. Sesshomaru on the other hand tried not paying any attention to him as he drew notes on the paper Rin had bought him. It just so happened that she was the little inspiration he needed to finish that song he had told her about. A few more bars and he would be able to sharpen the sound and finally show it to her. He thought Inuyasha would wonder to his room but not this nice, he obviously decided to bug his older brother that night and sat on one of the vacant chairs near Sesshomaru and grabbed the paper he had been using. The growl he gave was ignored by his younger sibling and he was about to tell Inuyasha off when the boy spoke.

"Writing a love song for your precious Rin eh?"

Nothing but a plain stare met his brother.

"Where'd you get the new guitar?"

He had been looking it over when he came through the door.

"Rin's Christmas gift to me along with the paper."

"Wow she must really love your cold hearted ass."

Nothing was said between them for a while until Sesshomaru picked up on Inuyasha's scent.

"You went to give Kagome her gift I assume?"

Watching his brother blush was worth it and even the stutter that came along.

"She wanted some type of perfume so I bought it for her."

"Do not be ashamed Inuyasha. She is less irritating than the last tramp you dated. Give the girl a chance I think you will come to see that she is a decent person."

Inuyasha's reply was a grumble under his breath which Sesshomaru knew would eventually turn into a date between the two. Rin was no matchmaker but she saw what he did between the two despite their fights and bickering; she would be happy about this news. His younger brother decided to turn the tides for once and ask him something. Shit, it was bound to come up eventually.

"I've got a question. Is Rin...alright now? I mean she's not crazy anymore is she?"

Growling warningly Sesshomaru's pencil he had been making notes with snapped in half.

"She is not crazy and you should never mention that to her if you want to live. You recall what happened last time you said that to her correct?"

Again nothing was said and Inuyasha just gave grumbles.

"You know what I mean."

"I do. And you should know that Rin is not someone who can be cured overnight. I have talked to her about it and the illnesses she has are not going to go away with pills and a few therapy visits. Inuyasha, what she has lasts her whole life and I have come to accept that."

His younger brother looked a bit apprehensive and he could already guess the question forming in the half-demon's mind.

"What does she suffer from exactly?"

Sighing heavily Sesshomaru put his guitar down and placed the sheet music on top of it. From there his elbows were placed on his knees and he looked over at his step-brother.

"She has depression, post traumatic stress disorder and Schizophrenia."

All he received in reply was a small 'wow'. Sesshomaru chuckled at this and his brother looked a little freaked out by his reaction for a bit.

"How did all of this happen to her?"

"You will have to ask her but I doubt she will tell you. She told me and then I asked her if I could tell father because he wanted to know about her after she was seen sticking around me for a few weeks. If you ask father and tell him I said you could know then I'm sure he'll give you the run-through, but he wont tell you the specifics because I won't share those; they're between the two of us and will stay that way when or if she is ready. Just don't let her know or she'll be upset with me. It is quite personal."

"Alright. Just curious is all."

Standing up Sesshomaru grabbed his things and heard Inuyasha follow behind him up to the second floor where their rooms were located.

"Everyone is curious about her it seems. She has an allure that makes people want to know, but once they do she gets called crazy and it hurts her to be so. Then, people alienate her because they think she'll slip and kill them or some shit like that. She's doing a lot better but she does have her recessions like anyone else would. By the way, remember what I said about that girl you like."

Inuyasha stomped his foot and crossed his arms across his chest like a small child.

"I don't like her like that!"

A smirk came to Sesshomaru as he opened his bedroom door.

"Sure you don't. By the way did she like the gift?"

"Yeah she loved it if I remember what she said!"

Before he closed his door Sesshomaru leaned out.

"You are such a moron. You remember what she said because you like her."

The slam of a door rang through the house and the smirk never left Sesshomaru's face. Dressing for the night he placed his gift beside his bed and fell asleep. He wasn't supposed to close his eyes, but the next morning his nice dreams turned into shitty cold showers. Nice dreams-what a joy.

* * *

And what a joy it was when his mood was darkened the next day after Christmas. He had been doing just fine making his own plans to find time for Rin and now he _needed _to find time to spend with her. That very night he needed to go out and do a job, so now he was spending what was left of his 'mini vacation' (as she liked to call it) cleaning every crevice of his 9MM at the kitchen table with her sighing every few minutes across from him. It was only understandable that she would find this sort of thing mind numbing, but it was something that needed to be done and, besides having sex, relaxed him in a certain manner. Was he really to blame when the only time he had to share with her was right before that day's job? No, and if she did not quit the insufferable habit of seven sighs in a single minute he was going to forego spending time with her and retreat to work early; _very early. _The very next thought in his head was going to be how to go about entering the government building without being noticed and then she did **it**. As he shot a distinctive glare her way she stopped and glared right back at him.

"What? Sorry, I don't like watching you clean weapons of death, but why couldn't we spend it talking or…doing other things?"

He felt himself wanting to sigh but kept it in. Could he really blame her for finding it boring? Plus, she had offered up sex and he was never one to decline such things from her, however at the moment he needed to do certain things to prepare. Since his gun had not been cleaned in a while he decided to do so, so as not to have a misfire or a blow back when he went to kill his next target. Placing his pistol on the table he then looked at her for a few moments thinking things over. Sex would be great and with the rest of his family had decided on a last minute trip to fucking Disney Tokyo and unfortunately they had opted out, it would be a great relaxation activity. With unfortunately meaning that Inuyasha and his child-like brain thought it a good idea and he and Rin declined, of course. Then, his father had called him from the hotel and e-mailed him the information, so what was meant to be a small holiday for the both of them, turned into a job and now her boredom.

"I need to do this Rin. Now, if you would like to talk feel free to do so."

A smile then lit her face though it soon disappeared when he picked up his gun and a small tipped cleaning brush and began his work on the trigger mechanism. However much she assumed he was not listening was something he never did. So, he told her to continue and she did. She spoke of visiting her family later that week and how she wanted him to come, but obviously he had things to do. It was important that he go and see their graves, although he would not be doing it this week maybe he would do it the next time she went for a visit. This was of high importance to her and he knew it though he also knew he would not have to seek permission or favor with a bunch of headstones, though he also knew for some strange reason he wanted to meet a group of rocks that signified her family. When he came back from his thoughts he found that she was looking around the kitchen thoughtfully and had obviously not been speaking a word for quite some time. Another minute later he was about to ask her what was wrong when she turned to him, with the sun setting behind her casting her in a beautiful light, asked him something he thought she never would. They had an understanding about him, so what was she getting at?

"Why can't you say 'I love you'?"

His cleaning stopped and his mind searched everything in him to find the answer but the only thing starring back at him was the gleaming of the gun and the slick surface of the table under his elbows. When he looked up moments later she neither looked pissed or any bit angry and the only look that met him was pure curiosity. She clearly accepted who he was and how he functioned though still this question lingered within her. Picking the weapon back up, he resumed his workings and spoke.

"You know me by now Rin."

Another blasted sigh escaped her and still she looked at him.

"I know, I know. I have mental issues and you have emotional ones, but why is that?"

Turning his attention to the butt of the gun he answered as smoothly as possible. After all she had shared plenty of her own past, why could he not offer her the same?

"If I say those words, then I will loose you; it is that simple. My real mother died. My father married a woman for the betterment of our group. Though she and father were never in love they still held it together long enough to have me. When I was about the age of eight (in human terms) I said those things to my mother and not two days later she was killed by a rival member as an effort to, in turn, hurt my father."

She looked even more curious now.

"Did your father kill the man?"

"Of course. That is why we now have a rivalry with the Sumiyoshi's; it stems from the bad blood those many years ago. Then, my father met Izayoi, fell for her and they had Inuyasha. Though I do not hate my father for his actions, I do often times think of what it would have been like to have her around even now."

Her head shook with clarity and he went back to looking down again. The emotions he felt as a young child from back then rose up within him and a question of his own came out.

"Do you still feel immense hatred for the people who hurt your family as I do for those individuals who hurt my own?"

She smiled at him, which he thought was odd, but then again she had her mental state to thank for it.

"Yes, everyday."

"I would be appreciative if you never brought about this conversation of my mother again."

A grimace reached her features but he was determined not to talk of it anymore. It was over and his health was not the issue, it was hers.

"It's alright. I know how it feels and it's perfectly okay with me.

It would seem as if she had given up her effort to get through to him when she stepped away from the table and kissed the side of his cheek.

"Now, I need to go out and get something for dinner…"

Getting out his wallet he gave her 500 yen which awarded him another peck on the cheek. And a malicious smile grew on her face.

"I want to go to Tempura Tokyo, can I take the bike? Please!"

A simple shake of the head and he was cleaning the barrel.

"Please, I'll wear a helmet."

"No."

Hands clamped around his bicep and she tugged down to keep him from cleaning it and to keep him paying attention.

"Come on you know I'm a great driver! You taught me for crying out loud!"

"Still no."

Her hands then grabbed his face and made him look at her, which only served to piss him off before she pouted at him and he gave her a growl.

"It is not the heap of metal, rubber and plastic I worry about Rin."

"I know. I'll wear a helmet, the pants…hell, the whole riding outfit! Please! Can I?"

It was his turn to sigh a bit and she gave him a triumphant smile. His answer was flat and angered.

"Fine."

"Yes! I'll probably be back after you have left for the night, so be careful okay?"

She was about to leave him with another simple peck on the cheek when he grabbed her retreating form and gave her a healthy kiss on the lips. Smiling at him one last time she left to go to the bedroom and change while he continued to clean his munitions in a prefatory effort for tonight. But before she went she came back in and stood behind him to cast a whisper to his ear.

"You won't loose me."

She was gone.

It was a good thing it was nightfall around the city because the hundreds of flecks of blood on his crisp white shirt and face would have made a scene with anyone who passed by him. However, keeping out of the light from street lamps and club signs seemed to be doing the trick. Still he received looks from admiring women who passed by, which was not something out of the ordinary, but it made him recede even more to darkness. Around one hour later he reached the front of his home. After the talk he had with Rin Sesshomaru was not happy about going home. Though she brushed off his comments (or lack thereof) earlier she must have been feeling unhappy or pissed off correct? Quietly he stepped into the house and went straight to his room and upon hearing low rock music blaring from his room, he knew she was there. For as much as he wanted her to be taking a shower or making her dinner he could not have that type of luck on this night. The Gods really must have hated him then.

He was not ready by any stretch of the imagination for what met him when he opened the door to his room. She was not supposed to be back by now and he figured she would find something more interesting to do in another part of the house besides that of what she was doing now. She lay on her stomach facing the edge of his bed leaning on her elbows and kicking her legs behind her all the while reading some woman's magazine and making comments to herself. Not only was she in his bed after he had come home smelling and wearing blood with a few weary muscles from running all over the city after a fucking demon that refused to die even with a severed carotid, but she was wearing nothing but a tiny black top (no bra) and lacey underwear. Jesus, was she trying to kill him? He let out a growl to get her attention and she only looked up at him, told him he had blood on his face and then resumed her reading. After everything that had happened he figured she would be mad or something of the sort, however she was not and even though her attire made him want to jump on her with no chance of ever getting off, he refused the sensations and heeded her words with a cold shower and then a warm one to relax his muscles.

When he came back out with a towel around his waist he was not surprised to find her still in the same position, but this time she was not murmuring to herself, she was talking to him about some segment of the magazine. How did she always know –without a demon sense- when he was in a room?

"You know they have a quiz in here about one's preferences of food and how they feel?"

He grunted and turned back into the bathroom (though not after catching her following a drop of water from his neck to his pelvis) and brushed his hair in the mirror.

"You don't have any food preferences do you?"

Leaning back so that he could look out the bathroom entrance, he answered her before she could move on.

"I do not have any because my body cannot process human food very well, that's why I eat so little. However, I do have a liquid preference and that happens to be your blood."

Her eyes rolled before he went back to brushing out his long hair.

"Well, blood is not on here. It _does_ say that if you have no preference then you are: nonchalant, often consumed with intellectual processes and may have a bit of an anger problem because everything is either too bland or too boring."

After a minute he knew she was smiling and his thought was confirmed when she next spoke.

"Wow! This magazine **is** good because you are quite the unemotional ass to everyone."

When he came back out to put on his sleepwear of boxers, before toweling off, she read her own.

"Oh, it says here that those who indulge in fruit are sweet, happy individuals and lead productive, healthy lifestyles."

As he stood near the bed watching her face sour at every word, he also watched her toss the magazine across the room while sending him a sweet smile.

"Well, now we know it's a piece of shit; never reading that again!"

Fortunately for her the outfit she was wearing gave him no time to think of consequences and when he stalked for the bed like the predator he was, she gave no indication that she minded in the least. After all of the years they had been together the look of sex was not something that either of them was unfamiliar with. And unfortunately in the middle of their struggle for dominance and her growing pants and cries, his cell phone rang with the one tune he knew to end his day and their fun. However, he never noticed how fast she could be until she snatched the phone from the table and he kept track of her rapid breaths and how her hair tended to stick to the side of her neck right where he had just bitten her moments ago. When she answered the phone her voice was raspy from its recent, constant use. It was a good thing he had demon senses or else he would not have heard his father's voice on the other side of the line as she looked up into his eyes while she spoke softly.

"Hello?"

"_Oh, yes hello, Rin! Pleasant surprise to hear your voice instead of my son's. Is he there by any chance?"_

Her eyes glared at him since she knew what this was going to be about.

"Yes, he's right in front of me. Shall I put him on for you?"

"_Yes, thank you."_

With that she shoved the phone angrily at his face and waited for him to take it. As an attempt to alleviate her anger he stroked her side with the thumb that had previously been occupied with her stomach. Listening to his father tell him about an emergency job he needed to do _this_ night to keep the silence around the Sumiyoshi-kai until he could get back, gave him free range to growl a bit so that even his father could hear him. Still from miles away the man told him to do it…or else, so it was to be done, but he did not finish until he goaded his son's emotions.

"_And son, don't let the girl's prone position in that bed sway you." _

Inutaisho hung up first and obviously so as not to hear his son's growl. Sesshomaru looked down upon the hopeful Rin as she stared into his eyes, and as soon as she found bad news in them her glare returned. As he was about to get up her legs latched around his waist like a vice and her voice was pleading. He was in a trying predicament because the silky smooth feel of her thighs wrapped around him along with the heated wetness of her core made him want to forget his duties and continue their activities; it was not to be so.

"Please, don't leave yet."

Again he tried to leave and still she would not let him, so he had to physically detach her legs from him before he got out of bed to retrieve his clothing. She wasn't really demanding with sex, she just wanted what she wanted and unfortunately he knew he was denying her something that she could gladly have access to. She was not spoiled, although with sex she was a willing and he did feel a twinge of guilt, but only a twinge, nothing serious.

"I need to leave. I will return as soon as possible."

He was just about to leave when she got up and began to put on her clothes which rewarded her with a dirty look from him.

"What are you doing? Keep them off. Thankfully the job is not far from here and I will be back to finish what we have started."

Her eyes rolled at his ego and she relented without much fighting. It was sad to know that by this time she had gotten so used to his lifestyle that she had to sacrifice her own happiness to be with him. The way he saw it was that she had given up enough of herself to be with him and one more piece of her was not something he enjoyed taking away, but he had to do these things for his pride and his father. It was not easy loving him it seemed, but she was stellar at it. Her body was laying facing away from him with the covers over her and just the anger that rolled off of her was enough for him to know that upon his return she would be greatly rewarded for her wait.

When he did return an hour later he believed her to be asleep, so leaving her alone he went off to change his clothes and rest. So as not to disturb her from the much needed sleep, he sat himself in the chair at his computer desk and watched her sleep. The only thing wrong was that at the moment he was not fucking her senseless, however she needed as much rest as she could get because this little scenario was not over and would start later today before his parents were to return. As his eyes caught the time at three o'clock a.m. he returned to the task of looking at her and he also noticed the change in her breathing and knew that she knew he was home and her question caught him off guard. With the grogginess of her voice he knew she would not appreciate being jumped at the moment, so instead he listened when her voice floated from the bed and around the room like a sweet aroma.

"Is there ever a time when you _want_ to say it?"

It was obvious that she was referring to their previous conversation about his emotional issues and saying certain _words_. To be completely honest with himself he needed to give her the truth, so he decided that her own earlier words were just as good.

"Yes, everyday."

* * *

A/N: Yay number four done! How was it? Did you like the whole goodness of the flashbacks? Hmmm...Be sure to tell me how you feel folks! Gotta get going on the next chapter so be nice and review please!

**Yamaguchi-gumi**- name given to the largest sect. in the yakuza. Estimated 39,000+ members divided into 750 clans. Created in 1915.

**shinogi- **income/hustle

P.S. The Yamaguchi-gumi crest reminds me of Transformers emblems for some reason. Not the new shit either, the oldies that I used to watch when I was ! Oh well. Anyway, I'm sure you can Google it or something and a picture will pop up. You'll get what I mean if you search it. :-)

~There were some interesting points raised in the last chapter when I got a certain reviewer. (You know who you were ;-p) All of the questions about what is wrong with Rin and all of that will be answered in due time; I don't want to give all of it away in just one chapter because where would the fun in that be? So, another question was about Inutaisho and Izayoi not liking Rin too much. Here is the deal/my reasoning on that issue. Inutaisho and his family are in a society that is relatively exposed in Japan but at the same time the yakuza are also taboo. Soooooo for Inutaisho it is more of knowing his son personally and his attitude as well as making sure their secrets can be kept. Let's face it, his son may be dating her but that doesn't mean she is a trusted person. Don't worry though he'll come around and so will Izayoi. Inutaisho knows his son cares for this girl, but considering his son's past with woman knows that just maybe he might let her go and he would not be able to let her go knowing important family secrets now could he? For Izayoi the reasoning is more simple: the girl is fragile and with a family of yakuza and a son expected to take his father's place while having an unstable girlfriend to deal with, she is basically afraid that Rin will not be able to take care of herself (mentally and physically) and in turn that will distract Sesshomaru from his legacy and personal business in the family. Now though, with the last chapter and Rin standing up for herself she has pretty much stepped up in the eyes of Izayoi and is getting a harder shell to deal with things.

Yeesh that was a long explanation, but there it is! :-)


	6. Retreat to the Dynasty in the Dirt

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 5:_

_Retreat to the Dynasty in the Dirt_

A/N: The main thing with this chapter is that I was listening to My Chemical Romance and this was what came of that. Yeah soooo I thought it would be nice to add a little peace to the scene of Sesshy and Rin. In this chapter as well we get to see a darker side to Sesshomaru. Oh spooky! :-)

* * *

**Dirt **was a substance that she was very familiar with. It succumbed to the harsh weather. Too much sun and it cracked under the pressure, too much rain and it gave in to become soggy, too much cold and it hardened into a solid mass. From where she sat dirt met with stone and snow. Having to dust the cold snow from her families' headstones chilled and hurt her fingers but she paid it no mind. Pain of the body she could handle, but looking at her family name written in front of her was pain of the mind and heart, which was a medium she hadn't faired well with in a while. Sure she had Sesshomaru, but today she told not a word of where she was going and decided that today was her own day to be alone and visit with those who had passed.

Looking about the lovely characters that spelled out the family name, her family name, was hard but to know that this was where her whole family lie was an even harder burden to bare. Knowing that almost everything you held dear was put away for the cold earth to receive was a hard thing to endure and she had done it and continued to do so with great virility. One person that kept her going was Sesshomaru and the other being herself. She was proud that in this one aspect of her life she had held herself together as best she could. When Sesshomaru came he gave her the final push to let go and start anew and she had yet another thing to thank him for. Goodness! He also thought he was a bad person for doing the things that he does but to her he was someone who kept her afloat in the raging waters; he was a good individual. She liked the dragon's blood incense the most, so she lit one and decided that she would talk to her family even if she looked crazy to the few people around her who were only kneeled in prayer. She was about as nutty as they came so what was a few other people thinking the same thing?

"Hey guys! Hope you had a nice holiday like I did. I had dinner with Sesshomaru's family. Believe me you will have to meet him sometime he is really good for me. Anyway, I was a bit nervous because his step-mother doesn't seem to like me very much but that's okay. He's who I love and she can just get over it. Did I ever act harsh like this around you guys? I don't remember the personality I had when I was little, all I recall was the fire and some fragments before that and nothing more. My mind doesn't want me to I guess.

A single sigh escaped her in that moment and she didn't realize a very important man with long silver hair was starring at her from his hiding place. Sure, it was childish to hide but fuck it all he wanted to hear what she had to say.

"He's having your piano fixed up mom! Isn't that great?! I can't believe it. The guy is coming over tomorrow to get started on it! I'm so happy. Don't worry though I won't let anything happen to it. I think I've grown as fond of the old thing as much as you have. Never thought I would. I like playing it too but I'm not as good as Sesshomaru though. He's good at everything and sometimes I get jealous but then I think to myself, hey I've got him so I guess that makes me a bit special too.

At that last sentence her laugh rang through the cemetery and the others glared at her before whispering rudely to one another. What became odd in the moment she laughed was that he saw a man walking by the street dressed in an all black suit but with a very bright blue tie on. He heard Rin, who wasn't paying any attention and talking up a storm again. The important thing was that Sesshomaru saw the man give a sickening grin towards her and then looked up to find Sesshomaru staring at him only to grin again before he quickly disappeared. He had the oddest shade of blue eyes and brown hair the demon had ever seen. No use in following him. He would just look up the flirty bastard in the yakuza books later and kill them for glaring at Rin. He was a demon in the yakuza much like Sesshomaru himself, so he couldn't be from the Korean all human faction. When he got back to looking at Rin he heard her final words.

"Sometimes Dad, I wonder if you were who you claimed to be. I recall Tohirosaying that you weren't really a Minamoto. I didn't understand it at the time, but who were you? I know you can't answer me and all but I want to find out for my own sake. I want to build a small family and I want my child to know all about you guys and to do that I need to know who you really are. I want to have a family with Sesshomaru when we're ready. I want to be a mother like mom."

She stepped back from them and left the burning stick where it was.

"I'll see you guys in a little while. I love you all."

Quickly using his demon speed he acted like he wasn't listening and stepped in front of her when she was exiting the cemetery grounds.

"I thought I would find you here. Did you have a good talk?"

She smiled plainly at him but he didn't press the matter and walked along side her in the not-so-chilly air that wafted into them with each step they took. Then, as they were walking towards who knew where she asked him something he knew was important. Ah, so she was sticking to her thoughts about knowing her father.

"Sesshomaru, have you ever gotten the feeling that someone you know isn't who they say they are?"

He couldn't honestly answer that question.

"To be completely truthful I know who I am and those around me for the longest time since I came to the family business. I know everything because I am required to. I am afraid that I do not know of what you speak but you can talk to me about it if you like."

This whole ordeal with her father must have really bugged her. Maybe he indeed was not as good of a man as she had thought but he hoped that against everything she would not relapse if she came to find out. He had never met the man but he had a feeling that he really wasn't the man he told his family he was. Rin might find out who her father was but he had a feeling that she might not like it. She hadn't said anything more after that and they continued to walk along with one another.

Eventually they found their way to her home only to be met with more silence when she found a note from her grandmother. Always nice to enter a home filled with silence when you really needed it. Also, it was nice to find that your boyfriend leaves you alone to your thoughts when you need it as well. He made himself at home on the couch in the small living room and turned on the TV to some mind-numbing news channel while she walked up the stairs to her bedroom and closed the door. Shutting the door to the outside world (to her thoughts) she collapsed onto her bed sheets and was consumed with darkness when her head hit the pillow. Surely today had caused her to go into a recession back into the realm that once was, a realm of happiness she had known when she was young. Yes, Rin was swept into the past where she liked to reside from time to time when life became too much for her. Sesshomaru would give her space like always and she would come out of it eventually.

* * *

Today had come to depress her, he found, when she would not leave her room four hours later. Ah yes, the always nice and depressive Rin. She made him feel so many emotions and the one most prominent now was anger. He was angry at her because she could not seem to let go of the before era in her life. He knew she could not help it because of her condition but it blocked him from getting to her on any level. Mostly though, he was angry at himself because he felt he should be able to help her out of it. He never achieved that goal of helping her from these states it would seem. As always he was irritable when she was sad and depressed. He would snap at anyone and anything and it made killing people a hell of a lot easier when he had rage in him. She could never get better and it would always plague her for the rest of her life. Damn those fucking men for coming into her life and ruining her sanity! Damn them for scarring her beyond anything physical that he had known! Damn them for the moments in which his woman was not with him! When he figured out who had hurt her, he would exact his vengeance on them and everything they knew. No one would survive after he was done and then Rin could live in peace without fear of them and live with the knowledge that every one of them was obliterated from the earth she walked.

His rage had him seething from the couch and he hastily made his way out of her home before exploding and destroying it. He needed something to take his mind off of Rin and her pain, so he opened his cell phone and contacted his father. Yes, a nice killing spree of city scum would do him some good. His father questioned him on his motives for wanting to kill a few people on a spur of the moment, but he did nothing to indicate a reply. So, after a moment of silence between them as Sesshomaru walked a brisk pace towards anything and people moved out of his angry path he received coordinates to several abodes in which he would take care of his anger until the next day when it would have to be satiated again.

As the week went on he took a good chunk out of the files of 'to be killed' he had let pile up for a few months. They were not decent men by any stretch of the imagination. Some using woman for profit, others were dealing drugs to young kids on the streets late at night. No, these men had nothing to live for and Sesshomaru had been all too happy to end their miserable lives. Rin had not mad an effort to get any better and he knew that tonight was her grandmother's game night with her friends. So, quietly he stepped into her home and closed the door lightly behind him. As he made his way up the stairs he noted the blood that soaked his black boots and other attire and also the rain drops that had mixed with it in the early January weather. Tonight had been just warm enough for the snow to come to the dirt as rain instead. It seemed Mother Nature was as confused as he was at the moment.

Confused due to the fact that killing others brought a sense of relief to his chest, but that was not the confusing part, it was the fact that on this night when he entered her home he was consumed by her scent and his thoughts released their angry hold and molded into new ones. These new thoughts contained his true feelings for the woman on the other side of the door. Not at all astonished that she lay prone on the bed starring off at one of her walls he walked in and stepped to her bathroom where he ran warm water into the tub and poured some nice rose scented bath beads into it. While awaiting it to fill he pulled off his own bloody clothes and stepped back into Rin's room to find her still in the same spot as when he first entered.

A sense of distraught filled him when she reached for the spot on the wall as he picked her up and took her to the bathroom. When she was like this she was out of herself in a sense. She was aware of what was around her but she was not able to think about anything but the past and stare off as if her visions depended upon the soul area in which she was starring. The first time he had come across her in this state he was frightened that she had lost herself completely again but then her grandmother had explained that she went into 'her own little world' as the old woman liked to call it. Rin receded into her thoughts and had to bring herself out of them. Sitting her on the floor to lean upon the front of the bathtub he turned off the water and felt the warmth of it on his cold skin.

Taking her clothes from her he stood her up and then picked her up in his arms before stepping in the warm water and placing her sideways in his lap. A smile made its way to his face when her head went to his chest to listen to his heartbeat. He sat there in silence with her for a bit and let the smell of roses and her fill his senses. His mind went off into absolutely nothing and he wondered if Rin would ever be able to feel this way. Would she ever be far enough from her thoughts that her illnesses caused her to relax in serenity and peace like he was now? Doubting this he sat forward from where he had been leaning in the water and cleaned both of them, donning on her a crème silk rob and placing her in bed before dressing himself in a pair of cotton boxers he kept here just in case. Settling next to her like always he curled her into his chest. She had told him once that being close to him helped her get out of her thoughts faster, so maybe it would work this time. Sleep for him was not going to happen on this night but it was okay because for him having her near even when she was not really _with_ him was almost the same. He needed his Rin back and he would get her soon enough, he only had to wait. Damnit! If only he were a patient demon.

* * *

The sun rose announced and precisely as always but without the accompaniment of the demon. He had been well gone before the girl's grandmother came home from her visits with friends. He watched from the large tree next to Rin's window as she slept on during the early hours of the morning and looked nowhere during the miniscule hours of the afternoon. The older woman was doing nothing to help Rin out of her state. So there he waited patiently all day for her grandmother to leave like always, that he would make his entrance and hopefully bring her out of her stupor. The death of her family always weighed heavily on her mind and his hopes of getting her to be with him again were failing, however, he would not be giving up on her, ever.

As he knew it would come to pass her grandmother left and still she lay in the same place she had awoken in. Deciding that it was time to move in he crept into her room. Why he was acting quiet he did not know. More than likely because he killed stealthily and it just echoed into a habit he kept. Closing the window to the cold January air and walking to crouch next to the bed he found her starring past him at something. Her own world. There were times when he wanted to know what it was she would be thinking in her world and others when he would see her cry -though not even realizing it- and not want to know. Damn she was so beautiful and caring with a dark tinge to her that settled itself like a disease ever encompassing her body.

Sesshomaru brushed a few strands of hair out of her face as he prepared the same routine as he had done yesterday. Drawing them both a bath and stripping them from their clothes he leaned back after cleaning them both up, and his thoughts drifted off much like hers. Although, this evening he did something different; the difference being the light touch of his fingertips across the length of her arm before they returned to her shoulder and drifted down to her wrist under the rose-scented water. Even going so far as to close his eyes for some peace he took no notice to Rin finally bursting free from her thoughts and looking around her. It was always as if she had come from a deep sleep; almost death like. When she woke it was quiet and measured. Her eyes would be a bit blurry but then they would focus and her body would awaken with new vigor. Feeling a light touch on his shoulder he gave a wide and pure smile to Rin as she looked up at him from where her head rested on his chest.

"Welcome back, lovely."

Having not replied to him he set about resting his head on the wall behind them and breathed in deeply feeling her side push into his chest with each breath. Thank everything around him that she was now _with_ him again. She had come out of it on her own like every other time. He knew she would never completely get over these things and not having her around was torture for the demon prince. How had she come to mean his sanity? She had taken over his life completely and just the scent of her sent him into a fit of want and he needed her, like a drug, to survive. Fucking emotions! Even though they felt so nice.

"Sorry Sesshomaru."

Knowing of what she spoke hit a sore spot in him. He was not so much mad at her as himself.

"Fine. It is fine. I accepted you and I still do."

"I hate being like this! I can't help it! You deserve so much better than me."

Gently pulling her hair so that she would look up at him he shook his head.

"No. You are perfect. No need to degrade yourself. I slaughter demons and humans alike and I assure you it is the other way around. A killer should not be in bed with an angel."

She smiled and lifted up a bit to kiss the underside of his chin before she settled back down across his lap.

"Maybe but then again if I were an angel nothing would get done right. All the angels would be off in their own individual worlds. Good thing I'm not an angel or else the sex wouldn't be so damn good."

His chuckle rang in her ears as he lifted her immediately out of the tub. She screeched at the cold air and shielded her body as much as she could with her hands in an attempt to ward off the offending cold temperatures.

"Sesshomaru what are you doing?!"

Again he laughed but this time in an evil and plotting manner. When he looked down on her he watched her gasp in feign horror as he carried them straight towards the rumpled sheets on her bed.

"My lady, no need to be cold you will be warm soon enough. I believe my angel has some sinning to do."

* * *

School came around the proverbial fuck-tastic corner the next week. Ah school such a cruddy institutionalized sanctuary for the popular kids to berate everyone who wasn't preppy and with did not harbor dreams of sports stardom or Hollywood highlights in tabloids. A place where good grades were key and parents pushed their kids into suicide wondering all the while why their precious children threw themselves into trains. A harboring of mass confusion on personal futures and the sanctity of unplanned parties and weekends with friends weighed heavily on the minds of those in attendance. If only Rin had said friends or had ever been invited to a party she might, just by an infinitesimal spec, enjoy the return from winter break. She had spent on a fraction of that time with Sesshomaru since her nice stint into her own mind. What a way to live your break with your boyfriend; being taken care of and finally getting out of your own head only to swim around in the swirling inky pool of school-required dress and the smell of cafeteria food to bring one back from the brink of madness. Then again school was madness to her, so was she ever going to get out of her dark mind at all? Probably not. With dreams of college the endless void of tedious work consumed her and was something she had to look forward too. School. Fucking. Sucked.

Nothing sucked more than to get glances from Kagome before school like she was supposed to be the girl's friend. Okay, so she had helped her out a bit with Inuyasha but Rin trusted Sesshomaru and that was it. No exceptions to that rule. People were crafty and vicious at the turn of a coin and she would not be chancing it any time soon. The girl had been nice and she smiled at her every once and a while but other than that it was back to whispers and looks from the rest of the student body. Yeah school was great. Sarcasm dripped from every thought like the one she had just rendered. Sitting in Chemistry class once again for her next Chemistry lesson served to make her even more pissed. When she got home she would work her ass off to get her homework done and then sit until she died from mind numbing television and loads of fruit swallowed her up in colors and citrus.

"Rin! Pay attention! Are you off in your own world or something? Now the formula for..."

And nothing he said made sense after that because she tried dusting off the giggles and open laughs at the professor's statement. Oh how right he was and oh how the class thought the lunatic girl in the front of the room was funny. Once again she let out a yell in her mind for the greatness of school. After lunch she would be able to get lost in something she liked: music class and Literature. Nice stories that she both read and learned about. Music was learning words with emotions and then play them into notes. Literature was taking her away from both those around her and her own world and transporting her to a completely different place that she hadn't made up! Someone else had drastic and radical thoughts much like her own with the exception that they weren't mentally deranged and she was. Oh well, who looked at the details in that anyway. The point was that she loved both of those including her advanced history class. History was a favorite as well because she went back in time and learned of others whom had lived before her and what their worlds were like. All of these classes made her feel like less of a social outcast and freak.

When the bell rang to signal lunch Rin packed her books into her bag, after writing the notes from the board down hastily and noticing she didn't understand any of it, and headed out the door to her locker to exchange her books for her next few classes. Sitting down at her usual table she took out her mornings packed lunch that she had woken early to make for herself and awaited Sesshomaru. He came to sit in front of her a few minutes later only to look upon their surroundings with a bored glance and then down at her food.

"Ah, made your own I see?"

Making no motion to speak she picked up he sushi and ate hungrily while he watched and occasionally looked around the cafeteria plainly and without interest. When she was about to take a sip from her bottled green tea he looked back over at her and she felt odd. What kind of degree in the odd department she felt was one she hadn't been effected by before. Holy hell there were degrees to feeling awkward? Wow she really was nuts wasn't she? His words struck her into amazement.

"May I have a try?"

"Umm...yeah sure if you want! I don't think they're as good as the one's the chefs make for me at your house but I tried."

Clamping her mouth shut before she went off on a ramble she pushed the box with her chopsticks across to him and awaited him to eat one. When he did she considered each of his delicate gestures and grew jealous. Damnit! Why did demons have to be so much better at grace than even a woman? Assholes. Clamoring out of her own contemplations she watched him push it back towards her.

"You are right it is completely horrible."

Having thought he was serious for a moment she paled a bit until she saw the slight upturn towards the corners of his mouth and smacked his arm playfully.

"Don't do that to me you ass! I thought you were serious for a second!"

He shook his head at her and his plain look was back as she still smiled on.

"Never. They are quiet good though. You are getting better."

"Thanks."

For the remainder of lunch they sat in companionable silence and she ate on. Afterwards she left for her two nice classes and another she didn't like so much: Mathematics. Great more numbers for her already deteriorating brain. Yippee. When school ended she placed the books she had homework into her bag and had Sesshomaru drive her home. Although, after an hour of trying to figure out the Chemistry she had been stuck with she had to call him and they worked it out over the phone as he dressed to get ready to 'go out to work'. All the while she could hear the scuffling of clothing and the zipper of his jacket and the laces slipping through his fingers as he tied his thick black boots. The man looked really good in all black from the few times she had seem him in all his 'death gear' as she liked to call it. His hair, of course, stood out the most but somehow went well with the complete black of the outfit.

Hanging up after talking about the homework and a nice be careful from her end she bid him goodnight and finished up her homework. Her grandmother came home a few hours into her 'watch TV. 'till I congeal on the couch' marathon. Asking her briskly if she had done her homework she stepped into the kitchen, made herself a snack, and went into the recesses of her room. Rin loved her grandmother but that woman had a lot to do for an elderly female. Of course, between running around with her friends and taking care of the temple was enough for anyone let alone an older woman. Shrugging her shoulders she placed her nice black fluffy slippers over her cold feet as she went to the kitchen during a commercial to get a snack for herself the phone rang. Picking it up she expected it to be one of her grandmother's friends telling her that the woman had forgotten something, but was amazed to hear a deep and soothing, slightly edgy voice, speak to her.

"How are you tonight, lovely?"

She cut tomatoes up for her small salad and concentrated so as not to cut her fingers off while she talked.

"Is that a new nickname or something? You know Rin is just as good."

There was a bit of silence before he continued to speak as if she hadn't said anything. A sigh clogged her throat but she held it back. She didn't mind being called that and his no answer policy usually meant not to ask about it as she had just done. Oh well he would live with it.

"I'm fine by the way. Just making a bit of a salad before killing my brain with more useless and fun television programming. Thank you for the help earlier. I know I should pay attention more often in Chemistry but you know how I get when I'm bored, I take a vacation in my head. I need to focus."

She had not given him adequate time to reply and she berated herself and waited for his voice to enter her ear again. Scooping the tomatoes into the bowl with the rest of the salad components she poured some thousand island dressing onto top of it and took off towards the living room to continue her program. During his talking she heard him taking off articles of clothing and groaned over the phone at him.

"Sesshomaru quit letting me hear you undress and go take a shower. I'm sure you have several layers of grime and blood. Just call me back when you're done."

Not giving him any time to reply she smiled evilly and hung up on him. He had a tendency to fight with her on things, so she didn't give him the time to argue about it. After eating all of her snack she had snuggled up and placed her head on the armrest of the chair with the phone in front of her when it began to ring. Not wishing to wake up her sleeping grandmother she quickly answered it.

"I am done."

"Thank you for that."

Knowing that he was about to make some sexual remark she prepared herself.

"Ah so you prefer me undressing in front of you instead of over the phone. I could arrange that."

Laughter was what she gave him as a reply.

"You know most people think you are a cold-hearted bastard, but you make jokes every now and again."

Nothing else was said for a while as her eyes began to close. Turning off the program she walked up the stairs to her room and lay down. Covering herself with her nice sheets that smelled a bit like him from the times he was able to stay with her she heard him do much the same thing.

"Are you going to get some rest tonight Sesshomaru?"

"Perhaps."

Silence reigned again before she remembered that he was the one who had called her. It rang worrisome for her because he didn't normally call her. There must have been a key reason for him to be contacting her.

"Sesshomaru, Why have you called me? Not that I don't want to talk -it's surprisingly refreshing actually- but I want to know why? Is it something serious?"

Rin snuggled deeper into the covers and closed her eyes. She could fall asleep to the sound of his voice; in fact she had done it many times before. When he was out on orders and was having down time he would talk to her until she fell asleep. It was nice to hear him speak while she drifted off and she had a feeling that right now she shouldn't be feeling sleepy, but that didn't change the fact that she was.

"If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?"

A bit amazed from his question it took her a while to answer. Not that it wasn't thoughtful, just that she never expected to hear something so….normal in nature come from his mouth. He hardly, if ever, made small talk and this was the one time she would revel in it.

"Um if I could go anywhere I guess it would be Italy. Oh, living there would be nice too. I know it's not possible, but a little villa type house on the outskirts of a city. Being able to listen to the rain as it patted down on the earth in the spring; living in peace basically. Can I ask where this came from?"

"Nothing, I am merely curious."

She couldn't help but feel suspicious but didn't push the matter. Instead the sleepiness came over her and she tried to keep herself awake for him. Goodness she was tired and even though she wanted to sleep she kept it at bay. Being a bit hesitant to ask her question she did anyway. Maybe she would get some answers.

"I want my chance to ask you something now."

"Alright."

"Do you think that there will ever be peace for us? Even just a fragment?"

Rin could tell that her question had caught him off guard, but still she waited patiently for his answer.

"I believe that...one day we'll get our turn at having peace. When that day comes you will know and we will be there together."

A strange feeling arose in her gut. It was one much like the feeling that you get just before you drive from the highest point in a rollercoaster; the feeling of your stomach churning in your throat. It was not a pleasant one and she wanted to ask him more about what he meant but she let it drop and fell asleep right there on her bed with him on the other line. She would find out what he meant one way or another, but she had the feeling that he hadn't meant they would be together in a lively manner.

* * *

She had awoken to the blaring sound of her alarm clock and Rin slammed her hand down on the sleeper button before rolling over to wipe her eyes and glare at the ceiling above her. God why had she stayed up at all last night? Oh yeah talking to Sesshomaru could have done it. Thinking she had gotten to be a little late than usual was an understatement. Currently her five hours of sleep was doing her no good in the shower and definitely not a help when she was trying to button her school jacket before heading out into the piercing cold.

That's when the horn sounded from outside and she knew then that she needed to make her exit regardless of whether or not she had eaten anything yet. That was another activity to be left at school. Yeah and she was so thrilled about that aspect of the day that she could hardly contain herself. Hardly. Finding a nice scarf to compliment her drab school uniform she dashed out of the house and down the sidewalk to make it into the warm automobile in what she knew had to be a record amount of time. In the car was nothing but silence because she needed it. Her headache was back and all Sesshomaru had to do was take one good look at her and know that the headaches she had were enormous and partly due to her previous conditions added on to the fact that she had little sleep last night.

When they arrived at said school she found the noises to be invading her ears ten times more harshly than any other day. Having a headache was bad but having one in a noisy school was even worse. Goodness she just couldn't win at life could she? Well maybe she could with having Sesshomaru because he had been nice enough to unpack and then pack again the books she needed for the day all by himself. She held a slight smile for him before pain shot behind her eyes and she closed them immediately. Telling her doctor had not done a damn thing because her good old psychologist had told her not to worry about it and take her meds. Oh goody more meds. However, in her haste to get out the door on time she had not taken them, but they were never much help when a headache had already begun so what was the difference anyway. After the flood of bright pain passed by her eyes and she was able to open them she found the silver-haired demon in front of her with a worried expression.

"Have you not told your doctor about this? Is he some kind of fucking moron for not prescribing you something stronger?"

His voice had risen a bit and it seared through her forehead and she groaned. Immediately he tried to calm down for her sake but he was still as pissed off as he had ever been at the man, her doctor, that he had dubbed with the nickname 'fucking moron'. How nice was it to have a boyfriend who understood your mental capability to float off into space and not return and then call the doctor who was trying to help you a moron? Very nice indeed. She knew that the older gentleman was trying to help her addled brain as much as he could but he had told her he could not give her a higher dose due to the fact that she was young and given her thousands of milligrams could produce more adverse side effects to her still growing body. Goodness it was such a shitty reason. Being one or two inches shorter than most girls wasn't something she worried about. Being taken from your own mind to the fields of brightly colored flowers forever was what she worried about most; loosing who she was worried her.

"I told you already why he can't give me anymore and even though I also think it's a stupid reason I just have to trust him. Okay, so I don't trust him, but still I want to make an effort to follow what he says. And please, with everything I have, don't be so loud it hurts enough in here."

Heeding her advice she noticed him quiet down just for her and for that action she gave him a quick peck on the cheek as they walked down the hall to her first class of the day. It was going to be hard staying awake and dealing with the raging blasts of pain that assaulted her but she would try her best to get through it on her own. Then, the plan was that she would get home and drug herself up so that she could have a nice sleep and be able to adjust and physically make it for school the next day. What a plan it was...now if only she could get through stage one: STAY THE HELL AWAKE!

"You will be fine. I will be there to help you if you happen to fall asleep today."

Shaking her head in an affirmative answer she felt him place his lips on her forehead and for a split second the headache ceased and she basked in the relief from the pain. A temporary tourniquet was what his lips brought her but soon enough she had to open her eyes and be attentive in class to get her goods grades and the such so that she could make something of herself. To be truthful she thought of nothing else but school work when she took her seat in the middle of the classroom for her advanced history class. Not nearly soon enough lunch came and she sat with nothing to eat although Sesshomaru must have noticed because he came with a tray of warm food for her. Oh and he knew all of her likes as well. Nice boyfriend she had. Very nice.

She only wanted to lie on his lap and have his hand on her forehead to ease the pain traveling there still and she knew in school she couldn't, but the hell if she didn't fantasize about it! Even shouting her thoughts seemed to hurt. When would she reach peace with herself? "Never", the doctor had said but _never_ she could live with if the blasted headaches would go away. Still that thought brought up more about what Sesshomaru had said over the phone and she would have grilled him about it right then and there if her brain wasn't in the process of beating itself against her skull, which was what it felt like at the moment. Sesshomaru knew that they couldn't publicly do anything at the moment so he just settled for grabbing her hand and letting her squeeze it as much as she wanted when a splitting white light would hit.

As promised when she came home Sesshomaru helped her into bed and loaded her up with medication. She knew that she would be a bit more loopy than normal when she woke up for school but it beat having headaches to her any day. He kissed her as a goodbye and told her he would not be calling that night due to another pile of papers he had to deal with, A.K.A gotta go whack some people babe, be seeing you tomorrow then. Yep a man who didn't wait on her hand and foot when all she wanted was quiet. Wait...had she won the lottery with this one? Or was it just the: your-boyfriend-is-a-mobster-but-nice-to-you-and-no-one-else-way-to-go-girl-you-snagged-a-killer-lottery? Either way, she had gotten one she wanted to hold onto forever and she would tell him soon enough that she wanted to agree to the whole being his mate thing. The simple catch was that he had to be the one to bring it up again. She might have been a regular and modern girl (to a degree) but she wanted him to ask her again because right now she was ready for it.

* * *

The next morning had **not** by any stretch of the imagination started out well. Who in the hell called at 8:00 in the morning besides people trying to sell you stupid shit you don't need?! Then, when she heard Kagome's voice over the phone she knew it was not someone she could rightfully yell at. The girl wanted to ask her some questions over coffee on Saturday, but why, oh why, had she not called on Friday afternoon or something instead of the day she wanted a bit more sleep and a hurried exit from her house for school? Goodness the poor child needed to just keep her questions until school but then again Rin was social suicide to talk to so maybe that was the reason for the early call. However Rin told her to call back on Friday evening because she couldn't think this early and she was in need of getting ready for the school day. When the young woman hung up Rin groaned and walked to the shower all the while wondering how the girl had gotten her number.

She soon found out the culprit to the number mystery days later when Kagome, again, called at an ungodly hour in the morning on a Saturday no less and asked Rin to meet her at a close coffee place for a morning chat about what she had wanted to speak about early in the week. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a white tank top with matching jacket from the brisk air, Rin placed on her shoes and began her walk to the little coffee shop across town. Driving made no sense and the cold weather would do well to awaken her for the talk with Kagome. Yawning, she knew she looked and felt horrible. It was morning and she wasn't going to get prepared irreverently for idle chatter in the morning hours of which she was not a fan of. The bell on the coffee shop door jingled and all Rin wanted to do was jump up, grab it, and smash the fuck out of it with the heel of her shoe. Oh death of a bell was nice right now.

Grabbing a cup of coffee before she went to find Kagome in the small abode was a good idea. Once the steam from the brew hit her face she smiled a bit and took a sip not caring when it scolded the roof of her mouth. She found the girl moments later and she was smiling. Great, a morning person. Oh what a thrill to be in their presence when you were a hater of anything before 11:00am. Today was going to be interesting if nothing else. Wow! She thought to herself a lot these days. Maybe she was getting even more off her rocker but a non-morning person would have to be to get up this early for only coffee and talk. Taking a seat in front to the chipper girl Rin held back a growl (that she had picked up from Sesshomaru) and took another sip of her coffee letting the girl speak first.

"Thank you for meeting me here. I know you don't like to be woken up early, but Inuyasha said I could give you a call if I needed to talk to you."

That little shit! He had been the one to orchestrate giving her the number to wake her this damn early?! Oh would the boy ever learn not to piss her off. He had suffered one black eye, several verbal abuses and insults and now his last would be death. A painful death was the sentence for waking her up on a Saturday morning for mindless chatter with the girl he liked. Her vengeance would be wrought soon enough she would just have to wait for the right moment to strike. Putting her plotting thoughts behind her she looked to Kagome who began talking instantly when Rin gave no answer.

"I wanted to ask you, if it wasn't too forward, um some things about you and Sesshomaru?"

Ah, so she was trying to assess the younger brother by the older one? Well that was not going to work out too well for the girl. It was like comparing night and day with those two. They didn't love one another, but they cared enough to at least tolerate the other's presence. So much for brotherly love she guessed. This poor girl was going to get a crash course in mob rule. And rule #10 was: Don't be the messenger. Everyone shoots the messenger. Unknowingly she had brought her want-to-be-boyfriend into the crosshairs of Rin's finely discombobulated thoughts and feelings. Oh well, the girl would learn soon even though the young half-demon wanted nothing to do with the family business Kagome would soon learn what she could and couldn't disclose or talk about in public areas and if she hit one of those sensitive topics she would not be answered.

"Okay so...how long have you been with Sesshomaru?"

"Almost four years."

The girl looked a bit jolted at that statement. Again it seemed that Sesshomaru's reputation preceded him. He had been a bit of a player but the day he met Rin all of that stopped. It was likely that rumors spread and most rumors were lies anyway. One had to love the gossipers and busybodies of society for where on earth would we get our information if not for them? Yeesh she hoped this young girl would not be impressed upon by the idiots that attended their school. Her next question seemed hesitant at first but as she shot Rin questions, Rin answered them just as plainly as she could. It was morning she was not about to give more effort than needed in the conversation.

"Was it love at first sight?"

A laugh wasn't held back by Rin even if she would have tried to. Love at first sight was something she did not believe in and besides the fact that she was literally out of her mind when she first met him made a huge difference in first impressions for them both.

"Hell no! When I first met Sesshomaru I was out of my mind, no figure of speech to be added. Seriously, I have a few mental problems but don't be warded off by it or anything. However, I would not be surprised if you were like the rest of the student population. Some of the rumors about me are true; however, the extent of truth is very limited."

By the look on the girl's face Rin had proved herself right, though at the moment she had no reason to get into it, so she continued on with what she was saying before Kagome could ask.

"Anyway, when I first met Sesshomaru I was having a psychotic breakdown and he found me, took me home with him, his step-mother helped me a bit that day with getting better, then he took me home after I mistook him for an angel and he called me crazy. That is, in a nut shell, our first meeting. So nope! No love at first sight with us."

She could tell the girl's next question and decided to address it early on before she was misinformed.

"No offense to you or anything, but I have a shitty past and it turned me a bit mental. I won't give you the specifics because I have only told Sesshomaru the whole story and I don't trust anyone but him. I was at a really bad time in my life and he helped me through it. However, if you really want to know I'm sure you can ask Inuyasha about it. He should be able to clue you in on what I've really had."

Silence reigned on for a few moments while Kagome stared wide-eyed at Rin as she absorbed all of the information given to her. Rin knowing it was a lot decided to sit back and finish off her coffee before the girl could ask more questions.

"Thank you for telling me about all of that. I know you said not to get too personal or anything, but I wanted to know something more about you and Sesshomaru if you don't mind that is."

Rin had learned a great trick from Sesshomaru and she decided to employ it. The oh so subtle eyebrow lift that meant a keep talking but tread lightly. There were just some things that she would not speak of to anyone but Sesshomaru and she liked to keep it that way. Call it an affect from her disorders but she liked only the people she trusted to know and right now the trustees' category had a solid one. The girl seemed nervous for a bit before she ground out the courage to speak and Rin had to give her some kudos for pulling out the strength to do it.

"When was the moment that you knew beyond any doubt that you loved him?"

Wow! Rin was surely not expecting that one. How could asking something like that be too personal? Maybe the poor girl was just nervous about it and that's why she asked. Although it could be considered personal to some individuals, but to Rin it wasn't a questions about the rumors at school or the whole 'my boyfriend is in the mob as well as the whole family' thing, so this issue was up for grabs. When had she fallen in love with him? Was there a specific moment in which her heart knew? Ah there was indeed and it brought a warm and pleasant smile to her face that made the girl in front of her smile in reaction.

"Yeah there was. The first day I met him and we were at his home he called his father about it. During the phone call he called me crazy, which if you want to stay on my good side you'll do well to remember that it is something I do not appreciate, but I told him not to call me that and from then on he _never _called me that ever again. I think that moment was when I knew I was in love with him. It wasn't that day, but for some reason my heart tugged a bit when he just shook his head in an acquiescent manner. It was amazing for me because my entire life I had been labeled a crazy person and I never felt that I was."

She knew she was growing a bit scary near the end but she didn't want the young girl to come to Rin's bad side. It could be harsh there and Sesshomaru and Inuyasha both knew of it, but only the older of the two knew to steer clear of it. And how coincidental was it that she was thinking about the younger half-demon, when Kagome brought it up next.

"So, when you first met Inuyasha what was it like?"

A loud laugh escaped her but she paid no attention to the other patrons glaring at her. Screw them this was one of the few moments that she was having a fun time in the morning hours and she was going to relish it.

"The very first time I met Inuyasha I punched him."

The girl gasped and then laughed a bit before she let Rin continue.

"He came through the door a few days later after Sesshomaru had started protecting me in school. He brought me back to his home (reluctantly at the time) help me with my Science homework. So, apparently Inuyasha knew about me and a bit about my condition and how I had happened to become close, in a sense, to Sesshomaru. Anyway he cam through the door and 'accidentally' bumped into me when I came out of the kitchen. Yeah right. So I call him an asshole mainly because he **is **one and he calls me a bitch. Normally I'm not outright rude unless provoked and he just put me on edge that day. We started yelling at each other and Sesshomaru started coming over and then Inuyasha calls me crazy. Well, as you can tell what was about to happen since I hate being called such? Sesshomaru went to step between us and I could tell he was mad at Inuyasha, but I ignored it and walked up to Inuyasha and punched him in the eye. He had a big black eye for almost a whole day. It was a nice feeling to fight back after a few years of listening to it from everyone else around me. And that Kagome was my first encounter with the man of your dreams."

Physically she watched Kagome's face blush through her peeling laughter that rang light and airy through the small cafe. Of course people glared but neither of them cared to notice. Soon Kagome was able to catch her breath and finally she settled down enough to talk.

"He was an ass to me the first time I met him. We had to pick lab partners and we were the only two left and he made me look like a fool in front of the whole classroom by telling the teacher he didn't want to be partners with me. That's how I met you that same day. He is such a prick and I don't know why it is that I like him."

Kagome's dilemma wasn't a severe one; the girl just needed to be patient with the stupid dog and he would come around.

"I think he's a good guy under all of the bluffing. However, to say I've seen his good side would be saying that I've seen it a few times, but not as much as I like. I think with a girl like you to reel him in when he gets too loose with that mouth of his would be a good thing. He's had shitty girlfriends in the past and I think he is a bit fearful of a new relationship. You'll get him Kagome because there is no doubt that he likes you as well. The dork needs to come to his senses and quick before you get snatched up by someone more deserving."

A smile appeared on the girl before Rin's phone went off. Looking down she noticed Sesshomaru's name scrolled on the top. Flipping it open she found it to be a text message informing her that he would be gone the rest of the day and to not wait up for his call that. Apparently he was trying to reassure her that he would be fine, but like always she worried anyway. Closing it she found Kagome watching her curiously and Rin slowly got up from the table.

"It was nice to talk to you Rin. I had fun. Thank you for reassuring me and everything. I just can't help it. I like him a lot and he just can not seem to get a clue hugh?"

They both shared a laugh after that and walked out of the cafe.

"Yes,he's a bit dense,but like I said he'll come around and then you'll have the man you want. Now, I have to get back to bed before I pass out on the sidewalk."

They both said their goodbyes and walked down separate sidewalks to get to their destinations. Her grandmother hadn't left yet but Rin decided a nice cat nap would do her some good. She sent a thought to Sesshomaru to be careful and hoped he would somehow, strangely, feel it. It could be her craziness talking but sometimes she could swear that she felt him in her heart reply in a way. No more time for thoughts though because she needed sleep. Thoughts and worries could wait while she slept a bit. Then, after sleeping her worries would consume her like always until he was safe right next to her.

Rin chose to keep her thoughts and ideals to herself the next day when Sesshomaru still hadn't texted her. She wanted to call him or something but she knew that if he was still out on the 'job' that she would be interrupting something. Interruptions with his line of work were not welcomed and he would most assuredly get her into the seventh circle of hell with him. Of course he wouldn't do anything to her but he would give her the cold shoulder and that she didn't want either. So, she waited and waited for him to send a message but he never did. Worry welled up in her like an infectious disease but she tried to keep it down throughout the day. Later that evening Kagome had asked to speak with her again so she (reluctantly) accepted the invitation due to the fact that she would only be worrying and it would take her mind off of the current situation.

They visited the same little coffee place that they had gone to yesterday. Although this time Rin was a little wary. Seriously, she hoped Kagome wasn't thinking that they were friends yesterday. Yeesh, she acted like a cold-hearted bitch sometimes but this young woman didn't deserve that treatment, but she did deserve to know that Rin couldn't make these types of connections overnight and she was not about to make an exception just for her either. So, they discussed things while the later January rain pelted down in the chilly air. The drops slid lightly down the glass on the windows and obstructed the view of the outside. It was dark already but still Kagome talked on and on. In a way Rin liked having someone else to talk to but in another way she felt the more time she spent with Kagome the more of a likelihood that she would let something Kagome did not already know slip from her mouth. It caused a ticking time bomb that was activated in countdown mode the moment she accepted the first 'friendly' little chat with Kagome. Now, she just had to work on keeping her mouth closed and it was something she was good at because of the years of mental abuse by herself and others. However, it was a hassle to keep in the way that a dark secret like Sesshomaru's must be hard to keep. She would keep it for them both until Inuyasha decided to tell the woman everything, well maybe not everything because he only knew so much himself, but that was all Kagome would need to know.

* * *

Being told to kill someone was a simple enough order to follow, but carrying out the deed was a completely different animal as they say. If you cannot take them out quietly from a distance then you have to face them head on. And as most know when you try to kill someone they tend to take it badly. The struggle ensues but you get them to go down if you're good enough and damn he was good at it. Now the blood was a different story. It all depended on the message to be sent. Normally the Japanese police departments dismissed the cases that dealt with the mafia, but when you leave evidence they will jump on the chance to apprehend you and that was something Sesshomaru could not have. Cleaning up had been a bit of a mess since the underling of the little scumbag wakagashira had not taken a liking to being murdered. Although he had done his job correctly and assured himself that nothing was left behind besides the blood and the dead body, the demon felt a little remorse because he had not contacted Rin in so long. Sure a day and a half was a new record but the scene had taken some time to get right because his father gave specific implications that he wanted carried out with the room and the body; a sort of calling card perhaps.

Having blood on your shirt in the thousands' crowded streets of Tokyo on a weekend night was not a good idea, but a good thing about black it that it is a combination of all colors and hid the brightest of reds quit well. His boots hit the pavement in think and trading thuds while the water collecting on the streets splashed upwards on his pants. The swish of his coat and the sound of droplets hitting its surface did nothing to deter the scent of her in the air. Even with thousands of people pushing into him and walking by giving off their own individual scents he could still sense hers. His coat was closed over her chest on the slight chance that the red might decide to escape the black it had been carelessly spattered into, but his hands were still red. He could pull them out of his pockets right now and see the stains of a person's last moment, but he never felt regret. Call it something that he had been born with. His iciness was his own to bare and the only one who saw through him was the one his demon bones guided themselves towards. It was as much an internal as an external calling to seek her out. She was his life-line and he was so fucking glad he had found her when he had or else he would remain the bastard he knew himself to be. But with Rin it was different; he was different for her and only her. Everyone else could just shove off and leave him the hell alone, but Rin, his Rin was someone he needed.

This night he felt the need to find her and his nose and blood led him straight to a small, lit-up coffee shop. His demon eyes honed in on her through the swirling beads of rainfall to find her seated across from the girl Inuyasha had a thing for. How had the young woman gotten his Rin to see her? Intrigued he stepped a bit closer, but decided to stay out of sight. He had not called or informed her yet of his presence and he knew making a public appearance in the state he was in would not be a wise idea. Watching closely he pinpointed every movement she made from the gestures of her hands to the way she breathed in heavily after a laugh or chuckle. Another thing was he could tell she did not want to be there in that moment. No doubt she questioned the other girl's intentions for asking her here and still she stayed. When she laughed...she was nothing short of beautiful. Something had obviously made her laugh but it just did not make it up to her eyes like it would when, on rare occasions, he made a small joke and her nose with crinkle a bit and she would expose her neck to the world to laugh wonderfully for him. Those were moments he cherished about their time together. Moments when time seemed to stand still and he could absorb all that she was and marvel at how a killer could have a saint in his arms.

The rain hardened when it hit his head; sleet. Now Mother Nature was making her presence known. Possibly she was angry at him for taking her children away but there was nothing he could do about that. Every feeling he had was enhanced when he was near her and right now the drops seemed to strike in slow motion and even on the busy sidewalk his head turned toward the sky to feel the rumble of the thunder under his feet and the drops of rain hit his face. Rin made him feel like nothing in the world could touch him and in his duties to his family that was surely a thought that could get him killed sooner than later, but right now he felt her presence and that of the world not caring whom he was. A warm feeling erupted within him and it was one had hardly ever experienced. If this was what normal humans felt all the time then he would keep his Rin with him as long as he could because even the blood on his body mocked him about the time he would share with her; this feeling was just as mocking but he would keep it for her to see, only her.

* * *

A/N: How nice was it to take a peek inside more of Rin and Sesshy's thoughts and feeling (or lack thereof)? Nice hugh? ;-p So tell me what ya think! I'll send you a cookie in the mail if ya do! Not really but I'll like ya if you review!

**wakagashira-** 1st lieutenant in the yakuza world. Under the Oyabun.


	7. Yubitsume in Her Honor

****

"8, 9, 3"

_Chapter 6:_

_Yubitsume in Her Honor_

A/N: A little bit more into the mind and thoughts of Sesshomaru is where we delve in this chapter. Also, we get to see a bit of a light-hearted and then dark turn on the same situation. You will understand what I mean when you read it. Koga appears in this chapter but does something very stupid, which is why the chapter is named the way it is. Have fun with that good ol' yakuza tradition! ;-p Btw, stars account for the beginning of a _past_ event and the stars at the end...well signify the end of said past.

* * *

**Once** there had been a thought in his mind about whether or not he deserved to be in the presence of an angel such as the one who now called him her own, but he could honestly say to anyone who asked that, of course, he did not rightfully belong by her side, but he would be damned if she would be attached to some other male. The contempt he had when men looked in her direction, whether that be demon or human, was great. They would leer at her perversely as she walked by. They would contemplate what it would be like to have her underneath them. Sesshomaru always gave them a return glare. Rin was his beauty to share and his alone to covet. No other man would know her pleasure and her love except for him and with those thoughts he closed his mind off and came back to the lecture that was being given by the idiotic teacher. Sure, his job may be important, but they were supposed to be working in groups and he was always one to go off in his own world without carrying any remorse for the ones he left behind. His character and career choice did not account for pity and that would not be changing any time soon. Oh well, they seemed to be getting on along without him and the teacher never pressed him to join in, nor would he, because the demon's presence exceeded the school and leaked into the school administration as well. Good. No one would be bothering him and that was the way he enjoyed his life.

School was to end soon enough. After all, this was his last class of the day and then he would escort Rin home and be on his way to do whatever his father had planned for him to do. Honestly, Rin was not the match he would have thought of (of course he never did) but she was what he had. She was too good for him and even though she would contest that, he knew it to be the truth. He was a murderer and hired killer and she was an angel. Damn him for choosing her, however, he did enjoy having his own bit of peace when she was around. In his life he was surrounded by hate and hostility but she calmed him and put him at ease. No, he certainly did not deserve her but she had chosen him as well, and he would not let her go; never would she slip from his blood addled hands. Rin was his to protect and his alone to treasure.

Later that evening he walked through the streets. No rain appeared tonight and for that he was glad because his hunt would be much easier on his senses without the constant bombardment of rain water and water-logged human skin. His powerful sense led him through the wet streets for the past days rain fall as he swerved around the bodies of humans that threatened to collide with him. When he was in this specific mood he did not wish to be disturbed because any minute he may have to be on guard for a rival attacker or his prey making a change of plans for him. Also, he feared he may expose himself in the middle of the streets of Tokyo and that was never good for any demon since being in this state made on particularly irritated by the smallest inconvenience. His hunting games did not bode well for anyone who happened to step into his path. Not at all.

Looking ahead he took note of the flower stall that stood just a couple of blocks down from the shabby apartment complexes that were to be his target for the evening. Maybe he would have some use for those flowers. First thing first: take out the second in command of the Sumiyoshi-rengo part of the opposing gang to the Yamaguchi. The mission allotted to him this night was to take away the life of a man who no longer deserved to live it. This man was Sumiyoshi Machiko and he was about to get a lesson in the bitchiness of karma. For a man who sold drugs to children and actively traded woman on the streets for profit was not fit to keep the life he now had. Sweeping around the corner he found his way towards the shanty apartment buildings and leapt up when the demons' scent caught stronger across from the building he was now perched upon. Sesshomaru watched as a man walked up the spiral stairs of the apparent duplex and strutted around like the world was his own to have. Disgusting. Humans had the ability to see themselves as superior whilst being upon the lowest rung of the predator ladder. Far be if for a demon to tell them so.

Recognizing him as a dragon demon had not been difficult. They could change there 'skin' tone when needed. When in public the only other tell was their long claws and extremely pointed ears; more so than a dog or cat demon. However, when they were in the presence of those who knew them their skin changed with the lighting. It was quite lovely actually although Sesshomaru had never in his life met a strong demon that he liked. Probably was not going to happen any time soon either. Oh well, this demon (as far as Sesshomaru was concerned) deserved what he was going to get. Starring intently he watched as the man prepared for bed which caused him to look up to the sky and the clear moon-more than likely around midnight at the moment. He awaited another hour for the man to fall into a solid sleep. He would have to be weary because this was a demon and the sensitivity of the senses for the entire race was what made them who they were, among other things.

Creeping into the front door he stepped inside and was oddly unhappy with the decor. Obviously the pictures of the demon's family on the wall weren't enough to persuade the man to give up selling woman on the streets and into servitude. Sesshomaru had only done it once and in that moment he handed the fifteen year old over to a greedy old man with a lecherous grin on his face, he refused to do it again. That was one thing Sesshomaru downright was appalled by with the yakuza practices. He even took it so far as to ask his father to stop. Which, eventually happened, though it took some time. At the time he did not have any inkling as to why he wished to not service such practices, but it dawned on him that after meeting Rin, every girl looked like her. Beaten and broken with hope in their eyes that someone would save them. Granted he was still a cold-hearted bastard, still grieving underage woman getting sold as sex slaves was not a merit Sesshomaru would display with pride and it never would be. So, his personal contempt for this man living with a wife and two children while live stocking woman was only feeding the fire that arose within his gut. Much like a seed this hatred had to be cultivated just right for it to flourish and flourish it did. Surely this man would not make it through the night just like everyone else he had personally dealt with.

* * *

Coming into his home reeking of the blood from another demon and his own quickly woke everyone in the house with demon senses. His brother ran down to find him with a deep wound in his right leg and a series of five deep and blood weeping gashes from the middle of his upper-arm all the way down to his wrist. Already, blood was pouring from it and Sesshomaru was watching the blood leak in an admiring manner. Sure he looked like a psycho, but hell no one had been able to inflict such damage on him even counting the night a few weeks ago. He was basically smiling like a freak at his own wounds and that was definitely a sight for his half-brother that was for sure. Oh well it would heal, but hopefully he would not pass out from the blood loss. He was a demon and healed quickly enough but this was a good amount of damage and his body took a while to react.

The family business had a special demon doctor that came on severe occasions and that was who he had sat in front of for over an hour getting a green tea salve placed delicately over each cut to speed up it's healing process, and had it all wrapped in gauze much like Rin had done. Although, he had to say the old man could not compete with Rin's soft nature and touch when it came to these things. Once that ordeal was over his father had asked to speak to him alone, although, it was after Izayoi fretted over him; like he needed her damn concern. The only thing he was concerned about at the moment was keeping Rin from knowing because she would definitely have a problem with this and it would interrupt her much needed sleep. That he did not want. Now, he sat in front of his father's desk.

"What happened out there son?"

The incident came back like a wave crashing into the shore. That fucking demon dared to touch him with his sullied hands. Disgusting. It mattered not that he had a family to call his own. Still, he was a filthy man and needed to be gotten rid of. Anyone who freely marketed woman deserved an early grave as far as Sesshomaru was concerned. At least that man got what was coming to him.

* * *

It had been simply amazing to know that when he took out this man he would be doing a service to those around him. Of course Sesshomaru knew that parts of the mafia sold woman and this was something he himself refused to partake in. As he crept up the stairs in the man's apartment to get to the second level, he took note of the pictures hanging upon the walls as he ascended. There were the man's family and he had children…could he not think past the dollar signs of exploiting woman and see that it could very well be his own children in the same position? This was one of the things Sesshomaru was going to get rid of when he ruled as Oyabun, because every time he saw those young girls he thought of Rin and immediately left that profit to others.

He began hearing a soft song of piano playing and again, thought of Rin. Sure it was dangerous not to keep his mind for the task at hand, but he knew that she would love the piece, so as he was walking up the stairs he matched his footsteps with each note so that he would be able to play it for her on a later date. There he found the door to the room open and the man sitting in a chair facing away from him. The man was older, but was a dragon demon and this was something Sesshomaru was familiar with. He did not need to turn around to sense the presence of another, which did nothing to surprise Sesshomaru when he closed the door behind him and was not bothered when the other demon spoke.

"I had figured you would come for me eventually. You are hunting us down, are you not? It would be fitting wouldn't you say: a filthy dog against a dragon? Much like your father years ago, no?"

He swiftly lifted from his seat and took a look towards Sesshomaru, flexed his claws and gave a grim smile.

"Shall we get this over with?"

Sesshomaru said nothing. After he received a cut across the torso and about a thirty minute interval of back-and-forth combat between the two of them, Sesshomaru pulled out on top and wretched his head from his body with one twist of his hand on the demon's neck. Now, for the clean up. It would seem odd for anyone to clean here, but he would. It was supposed to of turned into an "accident", however, the rage Sesshomaru had could not seem to cease, so he used it as an advantage that had proven to help him succeed in the end. Looking around he found blood everywhere and he needed to smell to distinguish between his own and the dead, but he did an excellent job of that. There were times when extraordinary senses came in handy and these helped to protect him and those he liked as well as help clear his name in any accusations. Of course if anyone were to get curious about this case, they would not be finding any of his blood to link it to. Speaking of blood it made him look down to his seeping chest and if he hurried he could keep from tainting the area, so he shot out of the window next to the man and applied pressure to his stomach to keep the bleeding down as he raced home.

* * *

"At least you got rid of him."

The next words that came from his father's lips brought a smile and grimace to his face at the same time. Of course having your son's girlfriend who worries about him also know that he has been injured, but safe isn't a wholly good thing.

"Bt the way, Rin is upstairs in your room. I sent her there when she came around to look for you since you hadn't called her at all today. Be very quiet. The last time your mother checked on her she was asleep."

With that said Sesshomaru was handed a few more files and he left his father's office. Taking himself up the stairs towards his room he found no Rin there asleep and alone in his bed. Actually, he spotted her in the corner at his computer desk and she seemed to be writing something in a small sky-blue book. Not wanting to disturb her too much he tried to shut the door as quietly as he could. She must have noticed this despite his efforts because a second later she turned to face him. He thought she would be startled by the blood that had accumulated on his shirt from the demon he had killed. She just seemed to brighten at his appearance…maybe she liked this? Rin looked as if she enjoyed this side of him in a sadistic, but attractive way. Then again, she looked away from him and to the bathroom before she turned back to the desk and continued to write. A subtle way of telling him he looked like hell. Getting the hint he grabbed a fresh change of clothes and headed off to the restroom to shower, but not before he was about to touch her as a bit of reassurance. Noticing how bloody his hands were he settled for a quick kiss to the top of her head.

* * *

Was it odd to find him covered in dirt and blood attractive? She was an odd person to begin with and maybe this was something she needed to tell her doctor. Thinking out loud she spoke to herself.

"Hey doctor! By the way, when I think of my killer boyfriend covered in blood and grime as hotter than normal…is this something we need to look into for a symptom of some other mental illness? Or am I just a sick individual?"

It's not like she did not notice his obvious decision to try and hide his battle wounds from her, but she had gotten used to him doing these types of things and she figured she would find out soon enough what had happened. He looked indeed a bit pale for a demon and of course she worried over him and that is the same reason that kept her from saying anything. He was a demon and he would heal. Plus, it was better not to bother him about it on this night because he looked tired.

After thinking about this for a few more minutes she closed her small book of poems and turned the lamp next to her off. As she covered herself with the sheets she heard the bathroom door open and felt the sticky film of the steam from the shower roll over the carpet and into the bed like a wave of fog in the early morning. Still she tried to get some sleep since she had woken after only three hours of sleep before she heard him come back. At first she was worried and decided to wait for him here then, she had planned on a small nap and ended up waking to jot down a poem that had come to mind when she heard that he was indeed home again. Now she clung to sleep and only did so after she felt him get in next to her, whisper that he had not meant to worry her and wrapped her up in his arms. Only in the instant did she settle into slumber.

* * *

The day started out normal like any other. Well, as normal as one could get when your world could invert at any moment and you loose yourself within the world locked away in your mind. Sure, you could fall under its spell, but you had to scale your way out of it to maintain your own semblance of sanity once again. The day had turned acerbic by the day's end and bitter by the weekend. Yakuza convention had said that certain acts required you to express regret to the one you had wronged, but she had never needed it to happen in her honor. She was part of the yakuza world now and under the armor of the Yamaguchi-gumi. Of course there were times when Sesshomaru would ask to perform certain "duties" because her honor had been jeopardized, but this…this was something completely different than any death sentence he could ask to give for her. This was living with a tainted name and public scar.

Classes had been as boring as ever and the day was almost done when she had taken lunch by herself as Sesshomaru was not there to accompany her. Then, the day grew into an infestation of even more rumors about her relationship with Sesshomaru and if he was really a member of a crime family. An incident would set something tragic (it seemed) into fruition that would cascade down her life's path and leave shallow depths to quell her racing heart and thoughts about her future and her love.

* * *

She was at her locker just after lunch and had just knelt down to get her books for her last classes for the day when a looming shadow pressed over her form like a dark cloud enveloping the sun before a storm hit. Figuring it was just the same boy who bothered her about "having his children" she turned to give him another piece of her mind when she found it was definitely NOT the boy she thought it would be. Quickly she assessed who he was and found that she had no clue as to who he was. This question was on the tip of her tongue and was about to be addressed and then he began to speak. When he spoke she did not like what she came upon.

"My name is Inagawa Koga. However, a beautiful lady such as you can just call me Koga."

With that he took her hand and as she tried to take it back he used his strength to take it to his lips and try and act of chivalry that he expected to act on her. He did not count on her being with someone else and he did not count on her having her own mind. For a small girl she was persistent and that she enjoyed being. Glaring at him she tried to reach back down for her books to place them back into her bag but he, again, turned her around (rather forcefully) to face her again.

"No. I wanted to ask you if you would like you go out on a date with me this weekend."

She said nothing to him and only glared more harshly and still he did not release his grip on her. Demon was the first thing that came to mind. Damn them and him for thinking that they could control regular humans like they were some kind of livestock or dog to be told what to do! Yanking her arm from him she turned towards her locker and began to put her books away.

"Obviously you do not know who I am else you would not be bothering me. Everyone here hates me so I suggest you leave me alone before you are shunned as well. I'm assuming you are new here and I would like to inform you that I am not interested in you. Neither am I interested in having you handle me like some cheap whore."

Calmly she stated what she had to and tried to let it rest. However, as soon as she had slung her shoulder strap around her she was caught harshly by the arm.

"Ahh, you see I was asking around and I was told you were the whore to see if I wanted anything. Now you will agree to go out with me!"

Trying to get him to let go she cried out when his claws sunk into her skin.

"I said no! Leave me alone!"

By this time her cries were audible enough to some of the students who were passing by. They came to see what was going on and this made he demon in front of her weary and he released her finally. Smirking evilly down at her he walked a few paces away and looked to the bystanders.

"No you I will not sleep with you! You're a fucking psycho!"

Everyone looked to him and laughed at her instead of trying to help her. After all, who would believe the nutty and whorish girl whom the whole school hated? Glowering at him as he walked by she felt him push into her and whisper harshly in her ear in a warning tone.

"Listen here you dumb bitch I will have what I want and eventually you will give it to me no matter if I have to force it on you or not."

Saying something would only worsen the situation and she spoke not a word of it for the rest of the day even when the rumors that she had secretly given the new kid head in the boy's bathroom surfaced. Rumors often made other kids kill themselves from being socially ostracized, though for Rin it made life hell and it was better than being just like them.

Taking no notice to the rumors around the cesspool Rin calmly blocked it out of her mind while she gathered her books for the days first set of classes. Then, the tide to her life shifted when she found Sesshomaru staring down at her with a blank look. Saying nothing to him about the previous day she let him grab her books and walk her to her first class. She could not expect the quiet to last even though she knew the saying of the calm before the storm she would now witness it. Lunch came and Rin sat alone and waited for Sesshomaru to come and sit with her. Subsequently, she was happy to find a silhouette block the light permeating through the cafeteria windows. Finally he had joined her and then she saw who it was. That damn boy again from the day before. Sesshomaru appeared at the entrance to the lunch hall as soon as the wolf demon male started speaking to her and trying to touch her while doing so. Holy shit this was not going to end well.

She tried to speak but the demon in front of her cut her off every time. Sure, she didn't like the kid but the hell if she was going to let him get killed, literally, by her boyfriend. He made "jokes" about killing people for her and she did know that they were literal questions and not fake ones. This man just would not close his mouth or he would have known that she was in her own world right now. He also would not have made the mistake of trying to hurt her into liking him. Wrong idea indeed.

"Are you listening to me you stupid bitch?"

At that exact moment when he had yelled at her it had the entire cafeteria looking at them. The bad idea was already building and the next moment it overflowed. Thinking that he could control her he grabbed her arm rough enough that his nails sank into her skin and she cried out in pain. Rin was not one to be pained easily and this scenario was enough to make her hurt. And that was when Sesshomaru came after her and she felt a bit bad for the guy until her arm was ripped away from him. The residual pain was not as bad as the initial bedding of his nails into her skin like nails in a coffin, but enough to be uncomfortable. Stupid demons and their claws!

"Get your fucking hands off of her!"

That was one of the few times Sesshomaru had yelled at anyone that was not Inuyasha. Wow, this was getting bad. She felt her back being pushed into Sesshomaru's sharp planned chest and struggled to hold her arm to keep the blood from flowing onto her school clothes.

"Just who in the hell are you?"

Sesshomaru looked incredulous to Koga's statement and kept a glare transfixed upon the wolf.

"I'm her goddamned boyfriend."

Then the principal showed up and the mood instantly changed. All of the students tried to act like they weren't paying attention so as not to get into trouble. She tried to break up the situation by calling all three of them to her office, but it didn't seem to work for the two males she now sat in-between. They kept glaring at one another and still she sat in silence with Sesshomaru holding her hand. She was not afraid of getting in trouble but she was afraid of Sesshomaru murdering someone in front of the principal.

* * *

The scenario ended with all three of them going in to see the head master at separate times so as not to compromise the story with interruptions and outbursts from either group. Sesshomaru was the first of the two males to go in and immediately demanded where Rin was. They had taken her away and he hadn't seen where she had gone and automatically he was pissed.

"Where the hell is Rin?"

Mrs. Uchiro was clicking her pen to take down his statement when she leveled him with his gaze that clearly told him his language was not to be used in her presence. Reluctantly he told himself that he would get through this as soon as possible so that he could get back to Rin. She was a strong one, though he did not want anything to happen to her again while he was away.

"She is fine. After I received her statement I told her to go to the nurse's station to have her arm looked at."

Settling down from the recent information he was given he provided her with what he had seen happen and she gladly wrote it down for the record and notified him that He would be taking detention in the afternoons, for two hours, for an entire week and so would Koga. As for Rin she would get two days detention and all three of them would be taking their time in three different locations so they would not be able to fuss with one another. Not caring what the hell happened to him he immediately left and passed Koga as he went into the office last to talk with the principal.

He found her sitting on the edge of the small, sterile white cot with her crisp white shirt sporting drops of blood on her sleeves. The shirt was sitting in a pile next to her leaving her only in with a off-white bra and she was holding her arms out to the nurse who was looking at them with earnest. She was asking Rin what had happened for her to get these kinds of wounds and Rin was saying nothing until she spotted Sesshomaru. Instantly the old nurse was on his tail to get out because Rin was naked. Of course he attempted to tell her he was Rin's boyfriend, but she shoved him out anyway and told him to wait for her to let him in.

The nurse fixed him with a stare as she stepped out and told him that he could take Rin home since she was a bit upset and said he often took care of her. Then, she walked off to tend to other things, like paperwork, and try not to think about two teens being in the same confines. Although he thanked her he knew that she did not like the idea but had to let him anyway. When he came in to see her she had only put her arms in the sleeves of the ruined blouse and was staring off into the side of the room. Believing that she had gone back into herself again, he quickly approached her and touched her shoulder only to be relieved that she looked up at him with a slight smile.

"Do you feel alright?"

The only indication that she gave for her being well was a slight nod of her head and then she looked back at the same spot she had been staring towards before. He took care to button up her blouse and noticed the bandages wrapped around her arm that had tiny blood spots on them already. Well, at least she was not bleeding profusely. This girl kept getting hurt by him, but perhaps being hurt was all she had ever known so she was fine with it. Heaving a sigh he grabbed her, gave a slight hug, and helped her out of the nurse's office. They had walked towards the end of the hall when Koga came out of the office looking furiously defeated. Looking up he spotted the bastard and instantly began to growl at him.

"Have fun with that whore you've got."

Sesshomaru was about to answer that statement with a fist to the kid's face but Rin stopped him.

"Ah, have to have your girl defend you? Good because you have no idea who I am. I am yakuza."

Sesshomaru let out a slight chuckle and walked past the wolf. He stopped for a bit and his slight smile turned into an evil smirk. She never liked it when he did that, but she felt this kid deserved it.

"I will have you know that I am yakuza as well. The woman you insulted was the girlfriend of the prince of the Yamaguchi-gumi and that demon happens to be standing in front of you. I suggest you tell your father the disgrace you have caused your community, family name, and yakuza affiliation before I tell him myself. All yakuza may not like one another, but one thing we do not stand for is actions against innocents. Be sure to use those fingers you have because as of next weekend your hand won't feel the same."

After that he guided Rin by the small of her back out of the school and into the car. It was quiet and he knew she was thinking over what he had just said and what it meant. He had every intention of taking action against Koga. Also, he knew that Rin had heard of finger-cutting but had never witnessed it. She would have to be present because she was the one who had been wronged and he would be there with her. The ceremony was a bit elaborate but to preserve the honor of the Yamaguchi she would have to attend. First though, he needed to tell his father and then get into contact with the Inagawa-kai Obayun of Koga.

* * *

"He did what?"

Sesshomaru never expected his father to react like this though not with fists smacking into oak furniture. After all it was only a few days ago that he was explaining why he and Izayoi hadn't trusted his relationship with Rin. It looked at if they were finally seeing that he was not about to let her go for anything. Especially an asshole yakuza. Frankly Sesshomaru thought his father would be a bit upset but not as bothered as he appeared to be at the moment. He voiced this thought to his father.

"And you have been told that both your step-mother and I understand your relationship is not going away any time soon. She is yakuza since you intend to mate her and she will remain as such. As well Rin being a woman and an innocent in the matter makes the offense even worse. I suppose you will have to get in touch with Inagwa Obayun and tell him about the incident. Maybe the son's father will take his place in for the yubitsume."

Sesshomaru would be pissed if that demon skipped out on getting what he deserved. He would have to talk to the Obayun and luckily that would not take long to get to. An hour or two driving and he would be there and back before the night set in. Good he needed to emphasize the severity of the situation. Not being able to take Rin to keep an eye on her would be a hassle but he would have to do so to make sure he got his revenge. Koga had disgraced yakuza with his antics against another's woman and he would be made to pay for it whether he did it in front of others, or Sesshomaru took his life in private would make no difference. Although he would rather sever the demon's head than just a finger tip he had to pay one way or another.

So, he decided to pay her a visit before he went off to the Inagawa headquarters. There he found her sitting in the middle of the stair case leading up to the second floor picking at the ruined sleeve of her white top. Still she sat in her tainted clothes looking worse for wear much like he had the previous night. Was it a cycle with both of them to hurt themselves to inadvertently hurt the other? It was vicious but that seemed to work for them. They were a perfect match in mind, body, and sordid bloody pasts and presents. Slowly walking up to her he sat a step below her giving off an air that he was about to leave. He knew he did the same thing every time he was about to go off; being around her but only close at the last second to touch or kiss her a light farewell. She obviously had known he would have to talk and to do that he would have to leave but she looked awkward at the moment as if she was holding something back and at the same time knew he did not like it when she did so. Then, she decided to speak.

"I know this is something you have to do, but you don't believe that this is a bit far?"

The only answer he gave was a quick no and with that she gave the impression that she understood. The girl could not possibly understand all of their laws and logic but he was going to help her see to it that he felt at the very least some-what pleased with the punishment given to the young, ignorant demon. He needed to learn what not to do and the consequences for those actions. Eventually Rin would understand, he knew she would, because she stuck with him and believed in him.

"I mean think about it…just for a minute. He only gave me some scrapes. You really have to scar him for life?"

He gave her a blank stare and she seemed to get the point quickly. Normally she would fight back and it seemed that she had all the heart to do so, and then she deflated and looked to accept what he was saying.

"If I lie to you and say that indeed I feel it a bit far would you feel better?"

Obviously that was not the best thing to say in the moment because she instantly bolted up to her feet and stared down at him with a pointed, angry look to her eyes. If she were able to kill people with her stare then he would have been dead twice over and maybe a third time for good measure. He liked the fire in her though.

"You know exactly what I mean you prick. I'm going to bed; see you when you get back. Although, you have had a habit of not calling me to tell me you are alright. So, if you don't call should I suspect that you have been taken to the sword as well and that you have committed some transgression against another organization?"

The next instant was one to blow him off and he knew this. She turned quickly and went the opposite way of his bedroom. Ah, so she was to sleep in a guestroom. Her scent would not be covering his sheets and pillows tonight and only a lingering scent would occur. He would respect her need to keep away from him until she cooled down. He heard the door to the last room on the left slam closed. Shaking his head he went up to his room to get ready and when he came down he found flowers in a vase and quickly he snatched one and placed it next to the plate that was being set for her spot at the table for lunch. Hopefully, by the time he returned back she would be over his slip of the tongue. He would not apologize but he did understand why she, an outsider, would find it awkward to take such a leap of this degree for what she found to be a simple misdemeanor. Rin had much to learn about the yakuza and their standards. She would learn soon enough and he was determined to keep her long enough for her to understand.

* * *

She knew the small rose on her plate earlier that afternoon was a peace offering and right now she could care less. However, she did place it on the small mantle next to the bed she was laying on. He was trying to make amends and it was sweet of him to do so and she hated him for it. Why couldn't he just not like her when she didn't like him? What was wrong with this demon? Deciding not to think about it too much she rolled over to find heavy rain clouds moving on the horizon. Fabulous. Rain to sour her mood even more than it already was. Spring had sprung up out of nowhere. Rin was happy for the change from cold even if it had been ushered in with a fight between them.

He would just never understand what it was like to be on the outside looking in. That was something they normally understood about one another. They both came from different backgrounds and they would have to get over it to make the relationship work and most of the time they did, but on occasions it would prove to be a bump in the relationship road that they would have to traverse. This moment was one of those situations, one of those blasted bumps. When he got back she would stay in here tonight and then maybe tomorrow she could talk to him about where she was coming from. Possibly then he might understand a bit of the situation from her side. She had no hope that he would change his mind about the "punishment", but she might get him to see a sliver of what she saw. Any little bit would help them as a whole. She could hope.

Later that night she had taken to tossing and turning in the seemingly despondent bed she was lying in. Sure, she had been mad at him, but she hadn't wished he wouldn't call her like she had suggested. Having to admit that something was your fault was a hard thing to do, but to admit this to a demon that already had a large ego was another thing entirely. She had to think though; she was not the only one a fault here. Could they possibly come to some sort of semblance in agreement? Hopefully she might be able to get him to fess up to what he did wrong and she could do the same, allowing them to finally be peaceable again. They had had fights before and this was nothing new, but this scuffle showed one of her personal fears: a fear that something would happen to him if he didn't stop focusing on her instead of the enemies around him.

After a few more rounds tossing she decided to get up and think of something boring to do so that she could fall asleep. Then an idea came to her. Writing always helped her to go to sleep, so she would do just that. Possibly thinking quite hard on a new song or poem would make her restless enough to go back to bed. As she grabbed her blue book and a pencil she walked down to the piano in the living area of the house. It was a good thing that Sesshomaru's father and step-mother slept on the third floor away from most of the noise but as well they were heavy sleepers. Of course Inutaisho was not because of his demon abilities, but chances are he didn't take sleep just like Sesshomaru.

As she made her way down in the darkness she couldn't help the fact that she tripped a few times down the stairwell and though for a split moment that she was going to need a doctor if she couldn't right herself. Thankfully she made it down and to the room where she clicked on a small white shaded lamp. It didn't offer much in the way of luminescence but it seemed to do the trick well enough that she could make out the keys of the piano and the whiteness of the paper in her small book. It would have to do for the time being.

First, she decided to finish up the keys to one of her older songs before she got started on a newer one. That was the best idea for the night if she wanted to get something done while waiting for fatigue to overwhelm her. If you were waiting to fall asleep why not do something useful? Looking down at her book she flipped through each heavily creased page, where some had a bit more of a worn look than others, and found, in the dim light, what it was she had been looking for. She had no title for it so she just put at the top: "For Sesshomaru". It was an adequate explanation for how she felt and she needed to finish it. Straightening her posture on the small bench she lightly hit the keys and instantly she smiled. This was how she connected with her mother and she loved every second of it. Hearing her mother's words in her head she practiced a few bars before trying to connect the song to the final stanza of notes. How would she end it? Better to start from the beginning and go from there. What she didn't notice was an audience of Inuyasha and Kagome (who had come later that day after dinner and was instructed that she could stay over on the semblance that she and Inuyasha sleep in different rooms).

* * *

To say that he was pissed off would be a devastating blow to his whole demon persona. He would have thought that they had an understanding about who he was and what he did. Apparently, she was still a bit confused about it. Certainly he had been a bit in the wrong when he replied truthfully to her wavering question. She had known the answer she just didn't expect him to act so nonchalantly about it. Of course she should have been used to it by now, though she was emotionally stressed as it was and maybe it was not the best thing to say, but he was caught in the moment and like always he did not like to admit he was wrong. They had both been wrong in some aspects and he thought the rose would help, but when he checked with his father about her he had said she was still in one of the guest rooms. Damn woman!

His rampant thoughts turned to a halt when he came in the door and heard her voice lightly radiating through the house. It was warm and beautiful as always. Quickly and quietly he closed the door, took off his coat and stepped around the corner to see both Inuyasha and Kagome peeking over the edge of a wall to get a good look at what she was doing. He had hoped he would come in at the beginning but it seemed his luck only allotted him a listen to the middle on. He stood silently behind the younger two and just let her voice flow through his ears until Kagome spoke her first real words of wisdom to him.

"She's a beautiful singer."

He could not help but cut in before Inuyasha said anything.

"Indeed she is."

They seemed a bit apprehensive to turn around to face the person they knew. He reveled in their apprehension and a bit of fear wafted off of Inuyasha's female. Good she was still scared of him. Deciding not to hear what excuse they had he continued to let them listen as he, like an apparition, walked around them to stand in front to get a better view. For as much as she seemed to want him gone earlier that day, she obviously had a habit of wearing his things. She was wearing a yellow spaghetti strapped top with a pair of his black boxers. Her legs would tense nicely when she would hit the peddles calmly and swiftly. Through all of times when she claimed that she could not sing or play as well as he could, she was getting better and better every time he had the chance to hear her. During this same moment he was listening to the words and found that the songs she same always seemed to mirror her moods and feelings about those things around her.

* * *

She had finally found the last few notes and the words she was looking for when she spotted him standing across the room from her. Forgetting all that she had to discuss with him she locked eyes with him so that he would know what the last part truly meant to her and what he should think about. Sure the whole song was for him and about her feelings but the last line was the most important; it was where she stood in their relationship and she hoped that he would understand. Giving him a slight smile she patted the small bench next to her and he came over like always.

That weekend was interesting enough. She had never been to one of the formal settings for the yakuza and was surprised to know that Koga's father had decided to hold the event in their own household out of respect for Inutaisho. Rin would have rather stayed at her home than to appear at this event, but Sesshomaru said that she had to be there because she was the one who was wronged. It seemed that the poor wolf had gotten his foot caught in a trap and now he needed to let go of an appendage to get free again.

He had come to collect her when she was dressed for the ceremony and ready enough that she would not shy away from what she had to see. No, she didn't have a weak constitution but she still didn't see the need for this type of action. Nothing she could say or do would improve the situation so she just decided to get it over with a follow his lead out of her room and down the stairs then off to where the event was going to be held. While in the car –which they had taken separate from Inutaisho- she saw him looking over at her and even though it was going to be an unpleasant event for her, she could not help but know that he obviously saw something he liked.

To her eye there had been nothing overly special about this outfit and even when he told her she looked lovely, she still couldn't believe he was telling the truth. It was simple and honestly she had no intentions of wearing anything elegant to a ceremony like this, but then again she did not have much of a decision because he told her what was normal and so she went with it. The ceremony was to be an event and so she had worn a simple cocktail dress, though this one was not black (per the usual), it was a deep, rich chocolate brown and came just a bit of the knee where it was formfitting with a halter style top. For her hair she had it swooped to the side and clipped with a sparkling flower clip that he had gotten her as a gift, no need to explain that it was bejeweled with diamonds and she had protested to him spending money on her like that. Still, she stayed quiet even on the way to the ceremony that was to be taking place at Oyabun Hisayuki's residence to show good moral faith between the three invited factions. There was the Hisayuki's, Yamaguchi's and finally the Inagawa's. Though she still felt the ritual too severe a punishment for what Koga had done to her, she still went along with it.

Assuredly he had to discuss what would happen when they were in the car to Hisayuki's place and she tried her hardest not to protest and tried her best to listen to her role. Although he did alert her to the fact that she would also be the only female there since others were not allowed, it did not make her feel any more comfortable about the situation. It seemed that she was not just an exception in her boyfriend's world, but the world he called his home as well. Sighing she continued to listen to him tell her things; it was not that she had no mind to listen it was her personal feelings about the situation at hand that made her want to run the other way when they pulled up to the large and extravagant house. Large pillars held it up in front and the entire mansion was three stories and whitewashed all around. Lights hung near the tops of the large columns to give a subtle hint of vibrancy, but it also served another purpose and that was to look a bit menacing as well.

When she got out she looked around to find many other cars -expensive cars- parked around the large circle that was part of the front lawn. The walkway up to the home was long but on each side were subtle little rose bushes that she could not help but fawn over since they were not natives to Japan. There was a man that had been walking behind them up the walkway and as soon as she tugged on Sesshomaru's sleeve to get him to slow down and talk to her, he walked past with a glare and swiftly moved on. As soon as he halted her looked over at him and decided that she would at the very least remind him where she stood on the whole event that was about to take place. Granted that his father was probably wondering where they were and was already inside was not a thought at the forefront of her mind right now. Grabbing onto the lapels of his black suit she made sure he was not half-assing his listening skills.

"I want to make absolutely sure that you know where I stand on this. I don't like it even though I make a point to understand all that you do and the reasons for why you do things, I still do not like this. It's just…hard sometimes."

He said not a word to her statement and led her inside with a sweep of his arm pushing against the small of her back. Once inside she noticed the lovely paintings and various artifacts that dotted the landscape that was Oyabun Hisayuki's abode. It was spectacular to say the least. Already people were mingling and food was even being consumed which bugged her because a boy was about to loose part of himself for not taking 'no' for an answer. For some reason, to her, it didn't feel right in the least to scar the boy for the rest of his life. Rin wished she had authority and a voice to tell someone else besides Sesshomaru, but she also knew that the wrong words could pose a threat to Sesshomaru and his reputation so she did all she could to keep up with appearances. She followed him around as he spoke and other times she was to leave because it was business he was discussing with his father, which was fair enough, at least she understood that. Even though all of her senses said she shouldn't eat she found herself sitting near the back of the room at a small table eating her own weight in chocolate covered assorted fruits while a faint sound of music was heard from a place she could not identify and two older men leered at her from two tables away. Great, the festivities hadn't even started and already she felt useless and upset.

Like a good girl she was retrieved by Sesshomaru who only gave her an odd look when he stood next to her sitting form. Even though she never looked up to see him she knew in her bones that already she was not making him happy. Not making him happy hurt her, but not nearly as much as him blowing off her confession felt. So what if she wanted to drown her sorrows in sweets, he wasn't about to make her quit.

"Stop pouting, Rin."

The fruit she was about to eat dropped from her hands and she then took the time to look up at him with a set glare. The only thing she could give him was words and even though he was in front of around thirty influential people, she could have cared less.

"Fuck you. I'll eat whatever the hell I feel like."

She knew she had said it aloud and frankly she didn't care, his own return glare was directed at Koga as he finally walked through the door and silence filled the room. The table in the middle of the floor was set up along with a basket, a silk cloth made of pure white and Inutaisho sitting patiently at the other side of the wooden table. Then, before she knew what was going on, she was grabbed by the hand and dragged across the floor and as his grip increased she made a small yelp when a claw had dug its way into the side of her palm. Just as quickly as she had made the sound he released her hand completely and she gave up to willingly following him. They stood behind Sesshomaru and Koga's transgression was spoken allowed and when she tried to hide her face Sesshomaru stepped away so that she would not be able to, which forced her to witness the poor kid hacking at his own finger. Rin watched as the finger was wrapped in the white cloth, placed in the basket, and handed to Inutaisho who took it and poured a glass of osake for him and Koga's father, the Inagawa Oyabun to share in hopes that goodwill could still be maintained. The ceremony finally ended ten minutes later and everyone went back to talking as Koga and his father were escorted away from the home and that was when the dreaded decision she had made to eat before this ceremony came back to haunt her.

Making her way outside she found the night air to be soothing to her clammy skin and upset stomach. It felt like there was a churning whirlpool inside of her and she tried hard not to throw up all over Taka's lawn, but it was a difficult task. After a few minutes of her stomach mocking her, she leaned her tired body against one of the large pillars and watched dense clouds roll over the moon as a fog started to set in over the lawn in front of her. A proper end to this night was all she thought when she witnessed the rolling white gradually consuming the green of the grass and the fine silver details on each and every BMW and Benz. Sesshomaru had an awful habit of walking up on her without announcing it and the next moment he did just that when she felt a breath on the back of her neck and hands smoothing their way down the goose bumps that had formed on her arms. Rin honestly didn't feel like fighting with him now and she even told him so, but still he stayed there. Again, his voice that always sent luxurious chills over her skin did its job perfectly.

"I know you do not understand this and I hope that one day you might. Though I must say I admire your persistence in your beliefs, I also must tell you that injuring you was not my intention this night. And for that I wish to ask your forgiveness for rudely interrupting your love affair with those fruits."

There was no reason for her to laugh because she was still pissed, but she did anyway. He had asked for her forgiveness and she would not be giving it.

"You have angered me and I will say that I definitely do not understand your ways. Even though you want to protect me I don't think this was the way to do it. Please, just tell me you won't do this to every man who pisses me off."

A sadistic smile lit his features.

"No, I will not; they will be promptly erased from life's book."

Thinking back maybe she was jumping to conclusions on this one and with wide eyes she smiled up at him. A revelation appeared to her for a few seconds.

"In some sadistic way I understand what you did was for me. I know you wished to kill him, but you didn't and you did it for me. You took a finger from the kid, but you also saved his life."

Strange logic, she knew, but it was the only logic that was understood between them. Lightly kissing her shoulder, he then spoke words she often heard that, until this moment, made only a bit of sense. She understood something important about him, she thought she knew everything obviously, this night in particular, showed her that he still had little tricks here and there about his personality that she would just have to learn along the way. Much like she had quirks of her own for him to contend with, so did he. However, this was important because she knew he wanted to kill the boy for saying all of those things and hurting her, but he held back because _she_ would not have wanted it. And then he did something (in his mind) that was less drastic.

"Everything is for you. Now, Hisayuki Oyabun wishes to speak to you."

Shaking her head she took a deep breath before going back into the house with male voices all around. Finding Taka she smiled at him and he took in her appearance with a grin and a compliment. Next to him was a younger male that he introduced as one of his body guards and also his youngest nephew. The boy looked to be in his early twenties and Rin gave him a slight bow, as usual, and a smile that he returned with fervor. The man was quite handsome and with a suit it made it even better.

"Did I mention you look lovely, young Rin? Come now, give an old man a twirl."

Doing as told she laughed and did a bit of a spin for him while he gave a low whistle of approval.

"I believe an old man like me is in very good company with a lady such as you. A lucky man you have."

Another laugh escaped her and then Sesshomaru came upon her and a frown came to the young male's face. Obviously he had planned on making a move, except it would not be happening since Sesshomaru was here. Thank goodness because she also did not want to hurt the man's feelings or anything. The only thing she could think was thank goodness for small miracles such as domineering boyfriends.

"Lucky indeed."

He presented a small bow to Hisayuki who returned the same along with his bodyguard/nephew. His swiftness was always what annoyed her because she could be doing anything and the next instant there he was; sneaky bastard. An arm snuck its way around her waist and she made a point to give him a look that meant an elderly man and an attractive nephew were not his competition, but that did not mean he was any less possessive this night. Hisayuki Oyabun noticed this and laughed heartily.

"My boy you have nothing to fear from an old man like me. Though, if I were the age of my nephew over here you better believe I would fight for a lovely woman like Miss Rin."

His nephew then whispered in his ear about something that gave him a grave look.

"I'm afraid I have to leave now. Sorry Rin, but pressing matters need to be attended to at the moment."

"Oh, it's quite alright, Oyabun."

Scoffing he pushed her comment aside.

"We shall get together another time perhaps to talk and by that time I hope you will loose the formalities?"

A grin came to light her cheeks like a torch to dry leaves and she shook her head fervently.

"Of course, another time. Goodbye."

And with a light bow be was gone and with a few more bows from Sesshomaru they were on their way to his home as well, though not his father because he was meeting Izayoi later. On their way home she leaned her head on his shoulder as he drove and exhaustion overtook her and a small nap was in order. He went straight in to do some things and she decided to hang around in the night air. They would not be speaking about earlier with the whole Koga thing because he had said his peace and so had she; what was left there but a fight ready to boil again? Best to leave it alone.

When she came in from being outside after a few minutes to catch her bearings from all that she had been through that night, she was about to call for him when she noticed that it was a bit too quiet in here. Sure, Inuyasha was at his friends' house this night and Izayoi was meeting up with Inutaisho after the ceremony for a late night dinner, it was still quieter than she had ever expected it to be. Stepping deeper inside the home she began to hear music floating from…somewhere. As she crept deeper into the home she went towards the back of the home, past the stairwell and came face to face with a door she knew so well early in their relationship. At one time he had shown her a few self defense skills and you had to know where you were looking once you got inside the room, to find the stairwell down to the underground training room. It was eerie how much she remembered and the only reason she never made frequent trips down there was because she knew it was one of the few places for him to relax, train and be without stress, so she always left him. This time however the music was too tempting.

The room looked like every other room in the home with a bed, a dresser and a closet, but you had to go _into_ the closet to find your way. This closet was special because it was large and five people could fit comfortably in here. This place was a secret because it also led to the training room that could be locked from the inside incase the house was infiltrated. Sure, it sounded like the Yamaguchis' were gearing for an attack and they did have every reason to be apprehensive because this was a home and the police in Japan never tangled with affairs of the yakuza, so precautions were taken. Finding her way to the back one needed to look for a thin panel in the wall that indicated it was a lead to a secret door. Tough it was automatic she still needed to skin her fingers along the wall to find the tiny break of the wood. Eventually she came upon it and pressed it just a bit, only hard enough so it would open. As it slid back and over she heard the music a little louder this time and it definitely was classical in nature with a rich piano and violin piece.

Finding her way down the small solid granite staircase after the door closed behind her, she noticed the small lights that lit just enough so one could see where they were going. As she came down another hallway she took a few steps and found, in front of her the reinforced steel doors that would lead her to the training area. Approaching she only hoped that he did not lock them this time, because as she knew before they only locked from the inside and with the loud music he might not be able to hear her voice if she were to yell. Taking a deep breath, Rin pushed on them and was only happy when they automatically gave way and she found the room she had grown fond of. It was always nice down here, with the hardwood floors a deep brown and one wall lined with mirrors and the other of the same beautiful wood of the floor, only it had scrolls with giant symbols and even the Yamaguchi crest on one of them, which hung with gallantry in the spacious area. There were targets down at one end for swords and hand weapons of the like and even a workout bag hanging from the ceiling. The lighting was a bit dim, but that was only because there were three light switched and as she looked to her left where they were she noticed only one was flipped up. He was great in the darkness, but she kept quiet as she watched him move around the punching bag with speed and agility only he could posses.

There was also a plus (besides the beauty of the room itself) when she was able to watch him without his knowledge. Granted the classical music was a bit loud, of course, she was also able to watch in silence as every defined muscle moved in syncopation with all others needed to make a jab or a right hook. He was elegance and lethality personified. He was such a gorgeous man and even now, with his hair pulled into a queue at the nape of his neck and only a pair of black sweat pants, she knew his beauty came with a price towards his personality. Even in the dim light she could see the glistening of muscles as they worked themselves into frenzy to bevy his attacks against false enemies. It was, in one word: beautiful and as dabbles of sweat crossed his back it made the samurai come alive and the colors expand their brightness. As she watched and listened to the music she began to sway along with it and soon her whole body and even her voice became a force of her own. Her mother had been a classically trained ballet dancer and she always taught Rin little moves here and there, even when she was little and though she knew she was immensely rusty because she had not danced this way since her grandmother told her not to dance in the house, she felt the need to and she paid attention every time she came into the line of sight of Sesshomaru. He often inspired her in music and as she moved around she never noticed him stop or take in her flowing arms, tiny spins, or stretching legs until he spoke behind her, still next to the now free swinging bag.

"I never knew you danced ballet."

As she spun around one last time and ended with a flourish of her arms, she smiled at him.

"I don't really just what I watched me mother do many years ago. Mother was trained in ballet, so she naturally taught her daughter a few things before she died."

He walked a bit closer to her as she regained her natural stance.

"Again, I did not know. There are things you hide so well from me."

"I could say the same for you."

A smile reached her eyes when he was merely a foot away from her and as he was about to bring his hand up to touch her cheek she ducked out of his reach and ran over towards the wall to sit down. Of course he followed because she knew that he was curious about this part of her life and he could not blame her, this was the first time she had ever told him about her mother and she had also never told him that she knew a bit of dance either. So, he had a right to be a bit suspicious about whether or not he knew all about her, but he would have time enough to learn because they had the rest of their lives as far as she was concerned; he wasn't one to tell her otherwise, so she knew he felt the same way. She waited for him to finish off a bit of water, turned down the volume of the stereo before he sat down next to her and not after walking towards her with his natural predatory gait. She sat for a bit looking at him in the mirror before she turned to him and began remembering every little aspect that she could about her mother.

"She was kind, I remember that the most. I did receive most of my information from my grandmother and when I was little she used to tell me lots of things when she came for a visit."

He gave her an odd look about the end of her statement, but she hoped he would not pay too much attention to it because that would be something she would explain later when the time was right, which was not now.

"She would think I couldn't hear her because I was in my own world, but sometimes things get through, they just enter my mind differently than most when I'm in that state. But, I did hear her and what she told me would make me remember certain things about my life."

There was a need for her to get closer to him and she did so by placing her head in his lap and closing her eyes. His hands stroked through her hair as she breathed a few deep breaths before she started speaking in a low voice, as if speaking loudly would ruin her memories in some way.

"My mother was great. Grandmother used to talk about her a lot. When my mother was little she wanted to be a ballerina and she pursued it for years, that is, until she found that her love for my father trumped everything she ever wanted for herself. She wanted to open a dances studio, but when she didn't have the funds she decided to be a caretaker for a flower shop near downtown Tokyo. Soon enough, she found she loved her job and when the elderly lady who ran it died, she took over and that was when she met my father; when she was around twenty years old. He came into her store one day to buy flowers for another girl and that day, according to my grandmother, was when she fell in love. The next day he took her out on a date and it was the end for any other possibilities. Eventually he asked her to marry him and, of course, she accepted. She became pregnant with my brother a few scant years later and decided to be a stay at home mother. I remember she would teach me dance moves in the kitchen and I loved doing them. One of the things I remember was the day before everything happened, that she told me she was going to enroll me in ballet classes, like when she was a little girl, and at that time I wanted nothing more than to be just like her. Of course, the next day came…and-"

Rin never finished her sentence because she didn't have to. Both knew what came after that and she had no need to fill in the blanks for either of them. He gave her a few minutes before he spoke and when he did it was both a nice thing and a bad thing, for she didn't remember as much about them in her life and she had for her mother and it felt shameful.

"What of your father and brother?"

Sighing she knew her face scrunched trying to pick out the most descriptive of the few memories she had of them. When she finally landed on one it made her smile.

"My father. I don't remember too much but the one thing that I always wondered was why he never really worked. Sure, I recall that he would go out some days, but most days he would stay home too. We never had to worry about money, though we lived in a decent sized house and had nice things, we were never without bills. Actually, come to think of it I still, to this day, don't understand how we were financially secure."

Taking a while to think, she came up with nothing and decided to leave that question for another time.

"Anyway, he never wore shirts that rode above his elbows and again, I still don't know why that was. I found it curious when I was young, but daddy always dressed like that, so I never minded. My most fond memory was when he taught me how to make American pancakes one morning with my brother sitting patiently at the table waiting for them to be done. He showed me how to flip them and everything. He was kind just like my mother and loved me very much. He was your everyday man, but to me he was father and a hero."

Her brother was someone whom she never really remembered. Maybe it was because he wasn't that much older than her, but for some reason it was hard to get a grasp on a memory except for what happened just before her family was killed. She had been fighting with him and it was with that memory that she evoked his image the best she could.

"His hair was pitch black, just like everyone else, though his eyes gave him away. My brother had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. Tohiro and I fought just like any other siblings, but I knew he loved me. When I danced with mother he would always clap afterwards and I think he knew since he was around ten years old, that he should be supportive and responsible like a big brother should. He was the one who I fought with before they were all killed and thinking back on it now I feel badly for fighting."

As she felt his fingers running through her hair it caused a sensation of relaxation and serenity which was nice with the memories she was having. She was reveling herself more and more to him each day and though it was scary it felt nice to let it out to someone…finally.

"Every time I sleep I try to remember more about them, but with each dream they start to fade a little more each time. Tohiro is the worst because all I remember is his voice and his wonderful eyes. I believe he got them from one of our ancestors marrying a white man during British occupation, but I do not recall too much about it. I'm surprised I remember his name with how sour my thoughts are and how hard they are to keep track of. I'm sure if I wasn't so fucked up in the head I would summon more memories about them. But it saddens me to know that I will, maybe one day, forget them completely."

The next sentence came in a whisper even though the tears wanted to flow she kept them at bay by blinking excessively. After all, that was the last thing he needed when trying to concentrate; the scent of her tears would not help at all.

"I miss them a lot-all of them."

He looked in deep thought for a moment until she broke the silence again.

"I don't want to speak of my mother's dancing ever again, please?"

As always when she was sensitive about something he respected it and always gave a clipped answer.

"As you wish"

It was not like she hated dancing, quite the contrary. It was amazing that piano had stayed with her because it was also a skill taught by her mother, but somehow her being not very good at it helped her continue. Sesshomaru had been the one to get her playing again. She never thought she would play again either and look what had happened. She turned into a lover of his musical approval. Rin didn't expect in the least what happened next when he turned her head so that she could look into his eyes. These eyes were sincere and filled with possibilities. It was like the thoughts in his head had only been filled with her previous statement about loosing her mind loosing everything she knew. Those were the things he did to prove he cared.

"You will not have to fear loosing these memories. I will help you by building a new family, just for us, and you can tell our children about your family, so that they will remember."

It was a bit of a shock because she figured he wouldn't want a family with a mentally unstable girl, but if what he said was truth then she would be happy one day with her own memories to make.

"I only want children when we can have peace."

She watched as he rolled up a mat for her to put her head on and continued going about his routine. He may not have told her he thanked her for sharing but she knew when she spied him taking a deep breath before going back to punching the poor bag in front of him harder than before. No doubt he was imagining the people who had taken her family because she felt it in her gut that he was pissed off, that was why he kept his sentences short and his punches controlled. There was no need to thank her though, because she wanted to share with him and he needed to know more about her for their relationship to continue to grow and mature. However, just watching him pushed her bad thoughts about missing her family away since the gorgeous colors imprinted into his skin were seemingly brighter from the sweat that was coming from him twenty minutes later and were an effective distraction for a scatter brained individual such as herself. It took demons a while to break a sweat because they were more powerful and had more endurance (along with greater lung capacity) and this was surely a sight to see. And so she soaked everything he was into her bones and she even watched him practice his martial arts techniques before he made her -reluctantly- get up and have her recall moves he had shown her months and months ago. Okay, so he was a powerful demon, had a hotter than hell body, an impressive attitude, but damn if she didn't want to at least lay a punch on him for making her do each move until she was about to puke. Asshole. He never let her quit even when he gave himself a smoke break. Double asshole.

* * *

A/N: So how did you like it? Yes? No? Maybe? Tell meeeeee! Also, yes I know Koga is a major ass in here, but it is my story and I'll do what I want. There has to be some conflict outside of the couple right? Yes.

**Sumiyoshi-rengo**- around 10,000 members and 177 clans. A.K.A Sumiyoshi-kai. Their principle rival is the Yamaguchi-gumi and they have a more lax chain of command. The leadership is spread among several individuals, but still a need for an Oyabun.

**Inagawa-kai**- around 7,400 members and 313 clans. One of the first groups to expand past Japan's borders.

**Yubitsume- **ritualized finger-cutting stems from the traditional sword holding technique in the feudal years of the country when samurai were still needed. The bottom three fingers of each hand are used to grip a sword tightly, with the thumb and index fingers loose. The removal of the tips of these digits (little finger up to index finger) progressively weakens a person's sword grip and this means the individual has to rely more on the group for protection than individually based actions.

**Mizu shobai- **literally means 'water trade'; this refers to the woman regarded as nighttime entertainment in places called 'water bars'. Often illegal woman who are sold into the business as a waitress or even into the more shady side of said business such as prostitution.


	8. Reticent

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 7:_

_Reticent_

A/N: I'd just like to say how sorry I am about the extremely long wait. My bad. School killed me until early May and I wanted to sit, relax, and do no typing or reading for a while. Again, sorry. OK and here we go for another chapter. I hope that you will enjoy this one as well. I'd like to take this time to thank all of those who have been sending in those reviews! THANX! The three dots are symbols for a bit of a mini-flashback.

* * *

**A** certain quaintness came with this part of the day. It was quiet and unhurried. Sure, she lived in Tokyo where everything was about doing something now so that you could get to doing something else, never had she thought to stop and do things easily. Her mind constantly wondered around and most of the time she was attempting to do activities that would keep her from disintegrating, so times like these she valued more than anything else. Right now her time was being spent liking the feel of his skin touching her own and how her breaths were bigger and more labored than his would ever be. He was a demon and gifted with great stamina, but even tonight she seemed not to care what he was doing to her as long as he was persistent about it; he was and that was how she got here in this moment in the first place.

She had begun to think that he wasn't going to live up to his deal about taking her somewhere nice. Sure it wasn't too far from civilization but it was far enough. And she was in no doubt that right now, what she was feeling, was not a totally bad thing. Clear in her mind was the picture and hope that one day they could spend days like this, countless in number, just with a blanket of reverence and peace. Days spent where nothing mattered but each other. It may have been her foolish ambitions or half-addled thoughts, but this was something she wanted to call her own. This moment would be hers to keep, though she wanted for nothing if only this fragment of time to last forever.

Convincingly she knew that the feelings she was having were both good and bad. She was blissful and sated, but also a bit woozy and deflated. Was something happening to her body to make her feel weightless and drained? If there was something wrong with her then she happened to love it. She wanted to keep it and when the feeling began to grow she could only sigh in complete pleasure. He was here with her to make sure she was safe, he was here to please her as many times as she asked, and he was here making her feel light and airy. It was a bad thing, this she knew, when he stopped and she fell into a black backdrop in her mind's eye…or was she just passing out from blood loss? Whatever the answer it did not matter because now she was not in her mind and feeling confused she was having a wonderful sensation of not caring. Finally, her mind had let go of her. However long this last she knew it would be too soon before it came back to wake her. She needed to get in all the good memories that she could ahead of the waking world grasping her again. One memory that was excellent was the particular one that got her here in the first place.

* * *

It was a possibility that the events from a few weeks ago were getting to her and he wanted to do something for her. He had not meant for her to feel too disrupted by what had been done to the wolf demon. As far as he was concerned what had been done was done and that was the end of it, still Rin had been acting off since then. She was not herself. It could have been those past events, but it seemed to be a culmination of many things bothering her; the root of these problems that had changed her behavior had yet to be told to him. He was determined to figure them out all on his own though if need be he would break down and ask her.

Things were never what they seemed and this was a time to throw those thoughts to the wind so his desire to heal her kept him occupied instead of the want to kill something. This time he was going to try something different to calm his mind. This time he was going to focus on Rin like he had done previous times to set himself aside for her. He would try it again and if she didn't give up the answer to her internal struggle, then he would directly ask her to address it. Though he rather liked making her feel the need to tell him instead of brow-beating it out of her, he just needed to find a way to get her to open up to him.

There he sat all day in each of his classes trying to devise various ways to help her and nothing wanted to come to him. However, she was sitting in front of him on a warm day, so they took solace outside in the courtyard for their lunch time and it struck him then and their. She had been talking about a topic in History that she found particularly interesting and the smell of freshly blooming cherry blossoms hit him full force. Of course he knew the perfect place to take her. Yes, a place indeed. She would enjoy it very much and they would be away from almost everything in their lives to distract them; they would be distracted by one another. With that thought he developed it into a plan to get her to go along with and the best he could gather was to not tell her at all. An outward grin came to him she asked what he was thinking to which he replied:

"Nothing, just a manner of something that gives me peace of mind is all."

Of course she cocked her head at him in confusion, but he just kept it all to himself. He was sure she would love his "gift" as it were. For a girl who had wandering thoughts to fields of flowers and beautiful landscapes he only hoped that she would not be frightened out of going because it was much like her inner escapes. However, he also knew that it might appeal too much to the inner-Rin and she might fall into herself, though he would take the chance knowing that whether she knew it or not she was going to find a temporary peace if only for a day or two. He could give her that for now and in the mean while he would still profuse to promise her the tranquility she so sought.

…

"I assure you Rin that you will enjoy this."

Did she believe him? Kind of. He had somehow coerced her into skipping school on this brilliant Friday to take an early weekend to a place he 'assured' her would be grand. It was not that she didn't trust him; it was that his idea of fun was lobbing people's heads of their bodies and hers was every moment she didn't recess into her own mind. So, she made up her mind to go with the flow and had even asked him where they were going but he would not disclose the answer. She was not one for surprises and she would give him the benefit of the doubt for now as they headed to who-knows-where and she just looked out of the window at the sky and watched it as they rolled by. Speaking more to herself than anyone she let her inner thoughts slip.

"Today will not end on a good note."

The next time she spoke to him was when he had told her that it would be another hour before they arrived at their destination. Great. Now, they were slowing down and pulling towards a shoulder and onto a small lightly graveled road. At the sight of tress (lots of them) she perked up and bit and sat straight up in her seat to get a better look around her. The place was so breathtaking that when they can to a turn in the road she sucked in deep and gapped in aw at what she saw before her. Simply told it was beautiful.

Cherry blossom trees ripe in the spring air lined the whole drive that led up to the gorgeous home that lay before them. She could not believe that his father had bought this place and never used it. Sure it was a few hours from downtown Tokyo but she loved it anyway. Instantly she wanted to be here and stay here, away from the world that mocked and criticized her. Sure she saw the wide space of flowers that she spied near the wooded area and she knew he would fear that she might relapse because it was a connection to her inner-self, but she pressed on with vigor. The home was phenomenal. She knew before she stepped foot inside the doors that it was sparsely decorated; it was a quaint and quiet getaway. A small TV on the wall, open windows with fluttering curtains from the evening breeze and a small dining area with a couch and fireplace in the living room, made this home nice, tidy and just what she liked when she thought of a getaway. A small and simple kitchen graced with stainless steel furnishings; the modern twist to make it livable.

Sure, she loved his large home, but this was more her style. This was something she could get used to. It was cute and gorgeous on the outside as it was on the inside. The whole thing looked to be made out of the most expensive wood and it probably was. It looked to be a modern version of a log home, but this one was sophisticated, not gaudy in any way. Instantly she was in love and she hadn't even seen the bedroom. There was a large four poster wood framed bed with dark silk linens and a small cherry table at the side of it where a dimly lit lamp sat atop it.

As he walked her around the home she could only marvel at it. After she had seen the entirety of the home she turned to him and graced him with one of her full smiles. There was a particular reason for this. The very home she was in was how she wanted her own small dream villa of Italy to feel like.

"I love it."

"You will find a bit of peace here Rin, I am sure."

…

And all that had led up to the moment she was in right now. He had told her she would find peace and she did just in her own way. Nothing bothered her in the blackness she was envisioning. Nothing came to her mind that would try to harm her or make her think too much. It was just…peace and quiet. She only wished that Sesshomaru was here to join her. He would also be one to enjoy a place like this. So, settling down in her lack of thoughts, she stayed until she was to be awakened. Little did she know that her solace had become his unease.

* * *

He had not meant to take so much from her and he could honestly say that it was an accident. Things did not happen on accident with him; when he meant to kill you, you died and it was out of a savage and untimely kindness that you were spared suffering. The one person he spared was now lying in her own blood on the bed as it pooled under her legs. No, he hadn't killed her but she was off in her own world from fainting due to blood loss. This blood loss was caused by him because he had been greedy. He felt like a fucking leech when he acted like this around Rin. She derived pleasure from it and he did as well, but this was the first time he had gotten wholly carried away and taken too much. No, he hadn't been part blood sucker, but the blood bond between a demon and his mate was sacred and in the process blood is exchanged, but one can get addicted to the taste of their mate and drain them. This rarely happens when demons can heal quickly, however with a human mate it is different. His father had warned him of this demon bloodlust and he had disregarded it thinking that he would never forget himself and now…

Even seeing the drops leak down her ashen thigh was erotic enough for him to want to go again at the vein. He was a sick individual, although he supposed he had to be odd to fit so well with Rin and her personality. Sure, he had drunk from her many times before, but it must have been the culmination of knowing they were alone, she was willing and he was captivated by everything she was. Now he sat with his head in his hands looking down at the floor and tensing from want to reach back over, grab her and feed like the wild animal that raged to do so inside of him. Fighting it back as best he could he awaited his father to come, for he had called in a panic not knowing what to do.

As of right now she was covered but he could hear her damn pulse beating loudly and radiating off of the vein's walls. He took the chance and looked over at her strewn across his bed, ravaged with unkempt hair and peak of the fang marks that leaked a trail of blood down the upper part of the inside of her thigh were to tempt him, but he turned quickly before he could do further damage. Her skin had paled again despite the fact that her chest was still cresting under the silk sheets and still he feared for her. Rin was an angel for putting up with his demonic habits and right now she was probably alright without him in her mind (since these things happened to her) but for him it was torture knowing that if he took a sip more she would cease to breathe fresh life into his bloodied existence. Had he not stopped when he had he would have drained her dry while not giving a care to her well-being.

Padding towards the cabin door when he heard a knock, he scented his father when he swept the door open with a defeated look. He was sure to get a lecture about this and he knew he should stop, but she let him so easily do what he wanted. This act brought both of them pleasure and who was he to deny her that? She had done so much for him. Sesshomaru knew that his father could scent what was going on and when he put it all together he growled out that he needed to see her. Of course Sesshomaru did not want his father looking in on her so, he went in first and covered her a bit more than normal. After all of the fussing over her appearance was over with he then let his father look at her. Needless to say his father was not going to help him feel better about this. He leveled his son with a glare after assessing her condition and spoke with disappointment.

"You could have killed her. In fact you nearly did."

"This I know, father."

Again the Oyabun glared and this time added a growl for substance.

"She will live…barely. Let us leave her to sleep it off and we will talk in the living quarters."

Stepping back from the bed he made way for Sesshomaru. Gently his hand went to her chest where he watched, listened and waited for it to make its next crest and with that kissed her on the forehead. Not before whispering in her ear that he would be back did he leave the recesses of the room and join his father by the unused fireplace. Taking a seat across from his father it felt similar to what they did when in his office, but this concerned a different matter altogether. This matter was not one of death but of life. He had not witnessed his father heave a large sigh in a great while, but now he was seeing it again.

"Son, she may be precious to you and I know you cannot resist after you have had a single taste and I told you that it was better you not do this at all, but you ignored my wishes and look what has come of it. Sesshomaru, she is to be part of this family soon and I wish her to make it to the induction ceremony (whenever that may be) alive and not counted amongst the dead."

To this he could only give a simple reply.

"Again, I know."

Again, another sigh escaped which surprised Sesshomaru though he did not grace it with a facial expression. The yakuza Prince could tell his father was agitated and trying to keep his anger from boiling over even though he knew he fully deserved to have his head wretched from his neck for what he had done to her on this night.

"I know I do not need to tell you to restrain yourself our story is warning enough, but son you need to take more control of your inner beast. This simple action is the difference between her life on this plane and that of the deceased."

With that said his father decided to change the subject to lighten the mood a bit. Sure, she almost died but the key was _almost_ and he would not let it happen again. When she awoke he planned to make it up to her and he would, but now all he could do was wait for her to recover. Inutaisho began looking around at the old place he had bought a long time ago and Sesshomaru knew what was to be asked next.

"Does she like the place?"

That was when he began to take his father back, back to when they had just gotten into the car and she was thinking that they were going to spend the lovely Friday afternoon at school. They weren't and he had other plans. Of course he knew she would be adverse to it, but then she warmed up to his plan when she finally set sights on where he had taken her. She had liked it well enough, however now he was beginning to think that she would hate it for it made him almost kill her.

"It was liked and well received, though I believe she will hate its memory from this moment on."

He felt his father pat him on the back like a child and gave him a glare for his actions.

"Don't fret son, she is not all that you make her out to be."

He stood, dusted himself off out of habit, and said his well wishes before once again Sesshomaru was left with his thoughts to comfort him on Rin's condition. There was nothing that the older demon could do for the situation; he just needed to be patient. The Oyabun also seemed to know that he would call when she woke and explain things as well as tell him when he would be returning to his duties. It all depended on Rin and how she felt; they would stay if she still wanted to, but they would return home and he would get back to business if she needed time alone and away from him.

Peeking into the room he found that she was still knocked out, so he headed towards the door and stepped out onto the small stoop that was covered by a small wooden awning to keep away from the elements. He found dark clouds in the foreground and could not help but remember Rin's whispered words about how the day was not going to end well. Indeed it had not. It had started fine with her loving the quaint home, sex and then it had turned rancid when he bit into her; like a rotten taste that was left in his mouth. Certainly the taste was not of her blood but of his own self-loathing at the moment for letting his judgment and control slip.

The breeze blew faintly but on the tip of it blew a tinge of rain to his sensitive nose even through the smell of acrid smoke that filled his senses as he lit a cigarette. It was going to rain and it was going to come largely. He knew that a hurricane was just coasting by Tokyo bay a few hundred miles from the country's shores. It was not due to make landfall because thankfully it was leading past them, but they would see a bit of it and it had come to visit early, though the brunt of it was to come next week. Luckily they were not to bear the worst of it, but unluckily for him he was feeling the added affects of the bad weather along with his appalling behavior. Feeling oddly that she was about to awaken, he calmly closed the door and walked back into the bedroom.

There he found her with not an eye batted at his appearance. She was still out of it and for that he was thankful because as of right now he was still a bit sour about his actions. He would need a while to get over it and she did not need to misinterpret the hate that was locked in his eyes right now. Lifting the sheet a bit he inspected the mark he had made on her and felt a bit of pleasure. Not pleasure at the fact that he had hurt her, but the pleasure that comes from his kind laying claims to their mates. Slowly and stealthily his hand came to brush past it to make sure it was not too sensitive. She made no move of discomfort so she must have been alright even in her sleep.

He had come extremely close to having her cease breathing on him. He had also close to loosing the solitary thing that he cared for more than himself. Sure, he could never care whether or not he lived or died, but for her he strived to live so that he could make love to her again, hear her breathe, tell her his thoughts, make her feel peace if only for a moment. All of these things made him turn from uncaring about anything to caring about her more than his own life, but he lived for her and her alone. Seeing her stir a bit he sat closer to her head and placed a hand on her forehead, to which she moaned. She was a bit cold from the severe blood loss and a bit pale but other than that she was responsive.

When her eyes fluttered open she took a distant look at him until her sight adjusted and she realized who he was. Then something happened that he had not anticipated: she smiled brightly for him. She had to of known what had gone wrong and still she was alright with it? She forgave him for everything and he always had a voice whispering to him that one day he would be not be forgiven, that she would not accept what he had done and that she would leave without a care because she had given so much and he had taken all of it. He normally kept that voice at bay although in this moment the voice was screaming. Now it was being pushed back; the doubt was moving away because of a simple smile.

"It's alright."

Who knew that two words could make an overbearing, powerful demon relax visibly? He was so worried she would hate him that he had physically held his breath and that NEVER happened. She just sighed in reaction and kissed the hand she had grabbed from massaging her thigh before turning over and catching more sleep. He understood that she needed it and that she was telling him she was okay, but he still decided that he was going to berate himself internally for a while longer so that maybe next time he would not get carried away. H needed to restrain himself and the whole time he was thinking evening turned into night and lightening flashed in the sky as he closed all but two of the living room windows. The storm would be harsh but at least she would sleep through it.

As she slept he began an idea for another song. Seeing her lying before him barely clothed, smiling, grateful even though he had caused her harm, happy, forgiving and damn beautiful, gave him an idea for a new piece and it would be for her. After all, she deserved so much more than a song but this was all he could give her until she decided that she was ready. Leaving her to sleep the rest of the night he watched the lightening strike in the dim light of the living room, listened to the thunder rumble and the rain patter on the sill of the window he had left open as he wrote down his thought. Having no need for his guitar he wrote down the notes along with the words and kept writing furiously until it was complete.

* * *

The next morning had given her a headache. Light sounds of rain met her ears and she wanted to plug them up so that she could turn over again and sleep this day away as well. Sesshomaru was no where in sight, but she felt that he was somewhere near. Stepping out of the bed she felt a wave of dizziness hit her, but she pushed it away in time to make her way towards the shower. The shower seemed to blur out the sound of the rain and she disregarded it as she bathed. It felt to be so mundane a task to do when she had just experienced a demon almost draining her dry. This was something that she could do nothing about since it had already happened, it was in the past and that was where it was to stay. Rin had already forgiven him for what he had done, after all he was caught in the moment and did what his kind deemed natural and she was okay with that. Though, she knew that Sesshomaru was not about to let it slide because as a yakuza your actions were your ability and identity not your words; so no matter how many times he had told her he would never hurt her, his actions proved different and who he was would never let him live that down even when she was perfectly fine dismissing it.

Wondering quietly as to how she would get him to forget about the previous night's incident she changed into a simple bright red top and a pair of grey sweatpants. Nearly loosing her life made her feel a bit weak still even though she was up and about. Deciding that she really would like to look nice for him and show him that she was fine was one thing, feeling good was another so she dressed down and felt good being comfortable when she was not. Rin had tried to locate him in the small abode but he was no where to se seen so she just assumed that he was wondering around berating himself. Deciding on something quick, she made herself a plate of scrambled eggs and was halfway through eating them when he decided to show up.

From her view in the kitchen she watched him come through the front door. Grimacing at him staving out a cigarette she turned back to her meal. It was not that he smoked; it was when he felt guilty he tended to hit them harder than normal which upset her. All her life she had been told that those sticks would kill her, but the slow acting toxins made fast and easy work for the demon immune system to kick in. He would not die from them, this she knew, but it was hard when you were used to hearing how bad they were. It was a part of who he was although it was hard to watch him take his frustrations out on his body and start the self-loathing process he always went through when things happened to her. He felt he should be there to protect her from anything and when something happened (like this) he would freak out and feel failure. Obviously he was not using his heightened senses because he about to walk right back into their room and pass her up completely. Standing from the table to put her dish in the sink she spoke to him.

"Have a nice walk?"

With that said she didn't take notice to the quick footsteps that came up behind her and grabbed her tightly. It was a bit of a surprise that he had openly done this but regardless she smiled. Sure, the rain waged on and on outside, but in the small home they took residence in there was some peace. There were questions that needed to be answered and those would wait because right now they were both doing just fine with the silence: her with a smile and him fixing her with a fierce hug as if the life would leave her if he let go. It was a moment or two when he decided to lightly release her and for this she was grateful. He was a fierce man and he had been holding her a bit too forcefully, but she refused to voice her discomfort for she knew he had needed it.

"You are fragile and I need to be more careful with you."

With that said he stepped back from her and she turned a bit to watch him lean against the small table behind her. Shaking her head in reply to his words she turned back to wash the dishes she had sullied and noticed that he hadn't said a word after that. There he went beating himself up again. Walking up to him she glared to meet his eyes with anger. For heave's sake she was NOT some damn doll to be coddled and protected!

"Listen to me when I tell you this: I may be fucked up in the head, but I'm no different than any other person when it comes to physicality. I can stick up for myself and believe me I thank you for doing it, but sometimes I want my own say if I'm angry. I don't need you there for me all of the time. Damn it I want to have the chance to fix my own problems and IF I get hurt I don't want you blaming yourself! Jesus Sesshomaru I AM NOT A DOLL! I am a person. Sure, I'm not as strong or resilient as a demon but give me some credit. I got through last night despite almost dying and I'm telling you that I'm still here! You didn't kill me, so stop acting like you did! I'm fine, I'm O.K. and I'm here!"

Letting out a huge breath she made sure to take smaller ones so that she would be able to calm down. Wow, she had really ripped his head off. She'd never done anything to that extent before and it was kind of refreshing. Rin had no idea how he would react and she got her answer when he simply gave her a blank stare and walked back out of the house.

"Ooookay…Does he hate me now?"

He didn't come back to give her an answer until later that night when she was just about to push through the partition of sleep. She had tried to watch something to take her mind off of what had happened and his apparent bad reaction. Ok, so she was mad at the time and had just woken up which was never a good thing, but he needed to know, though she could have picked a less 'angry' way of showing her feelings. Rin was in the state between waking and slumber when she felt a shadow in front of her and heard the subtle click of the remote as he turned off the television. Nothing else happened and all that could be heard was the light pattering of rain on the sill of the lone open window she had left to sooth her worries about the recent events. It had been raining all day and it was forecasted to end soon (since she had watch a whopping 2 hours of nothing but weather and floating happy and sad suns for the weeks forecast) but still it kept up.

She was aware and at the same time not. Then, she felt the cold and slick touch of rain soaked skin upon her check and this action alone caused her to open her eyes. He had water droplets streaming from the cuticles of his hair all the way down to the tip of his chin. Her Sesshomaru seemed to be a bit distraught and calculating, like he knew what he wanted to say but had no idea how to do it, and it made her want to smile. He was a man of few words, although when he spoke he knew what to say, always. Now, he could not figure the right words which made her heart swell. She made him do things he never dreamed of doing and it was nice to have such a caring individual with her. All the while that her thoughts had been running she hadn't notice how very confused he was about the situation until he bent next to her ear and whispered those words that he was so good at yet had had little practice with.

"Forgive me."

Rin was so surprised by this that she sat up quickly, but he never came with her. Sitting on his heels with his head in her lap he was still asking for forgiveness. She had never seen anything like this from him and it was admittedly a bit weird to see a demon who prided himself on courage and toughness now before her on his knees (sort of) and she pushed past that. He may be a demon but he was also still part dog and there were things they did to show dominance and this, willingly baring their neck to another, was not one of them. Running her hand through mused and soggy hair she took no notice to the dampness of her clothes or the fact that she needed to seal the open window, for the rain had started to fall onto the wooden floors, she paid it no attention as she sat her self back in the couch and spoke softly. He could hear her oven all of the noises and this she knew; no need to speak loudly when one didn't have to.

"It's alright. We've both got things to work on, but we'll be fine you'll see. We'll be alright."

She wasn't sure if she was trying to reassure him or herself. It would have to do for now because, like everyone else, she was had no wisdom of the future and what it had in store. However, if the past night was any indication of the events to come she knew she had to be steadfast and trusting. He was powerful, hated, stubborn, easily angered and a brute, there were also qualities in him that even the wretched of beings are bestowed with such as kindness, love and now, fear. He was the epitome of a demon and yet he had these moments-special moments-when everything he was flitted away like petals on a breeze and all that was left was a child who had lost his mother, sought approval from his father always, and wanted nothing but her love. It just took him a few downward spirals of self-doubt before he realized her arms would always be open to him and her love much the same.

A solitary fear she had about the future was if both of them would be in the picture once the future came to fruition.

* * *

The very next morning they had decided to pack up early since the next couple of days was when the hurricane's outer arms would be hitting the Japanese coastline. Sure, they weren't getting the blunt of it but high winds and heavy rains coming while being out in the woods was not a wise idea. So, they settled into the long ride home with silence. At first it was awkward because she didn't know if they had resolved last night's issue or if it was just a little agreement and then back to fighting for the next day. Rin had decided to recede into her thoughts of a field full of flowers to tune out the silence and the gloom of the clouds that hung over head as they sped on the to get home. She wasn't letting herself fall completely into herself, but it was teetering on the edge. On the edge is where she had to be when she _wanted_ to lose herself. Though being mental had many drawbacks a positive about it was that you could simply disappear (in a sense) whenever you wanted. It was dangerous because one false step could cause you to spiral into yourself, but it was a risk to be taken.

She was there for a while wondering freely in her own mind when she was brought back by a subtle touch on her hand. Rin gave a glance over at Sesshomaru to notice that he had a worried look on his face. He had though she had gone into herself again and he would be right, to some extent, which looked to be enough to bother him. Trying to give him reassurance, she grabbed his hand and squeezed gently to let him know that she was still here. To this action he gave her a slight nod and went back to looking at the road. So, she guessed that they were alright again. It was good to know they had a mutual understanding that he wasn't one to beg for forgiveness and she wasn't one to outwardly say that he was forgiven. They each had their own quirks and they understood them until moments like the past few days when lines got crossed and signals mixed. It was fine though because they learned from it and never made the same mistake twice…or so she thought. The silence was then broken when she spoke not towards him, but to the window that she was looking out of that day.

"Do you recall the first time I told you that I loved you?"

"Of course."

Looking back at him she smiled.

"I still do and that is why we are going to make it."

As she looked out the window, still her hand in his, she remembered that day and he had even told her that he had visited his father that day too...

_Admittedly a sushi bar was not the most fantastic place to tell him that she loved him, but now as soon as she had spoken the words (all be they light and a bit of a whisper) she felt as if she regretted it. Here he was just starring at her as if she had just told him the days' weather report. Had she done something wrong? It had just felt so right to say so and even though it had been nearly a year since they had become a couple, those last few moments meant the most to her. Though he continued to say nothing to her she also knew that if this was the one thing that ended them, then so be it but she would not be holding her emotions in when she had done so for so long. Her relationship had been worth it and she would not hate him because of his lack of reaction because by this time she knew his attitude about emotions. Neither would she make regrets about her feelings for they were what they were, her feelings and nothing was going to change them any time soon. _

_Next thing she knew it had been three days since she had talked to him. For some reason he was avoiding her and it was indeed odd. Normally he was incredibly forward and if he wanted something he told her, though this time it looked to be different. Maybe they really had fallen apart because of three little words she had spoken. Making her way through the halls with her books pressed to her chest she took her normal path to calligraphy class, though this time it was alone. However, what she did not know what that Sesshomaru was having an emotional battle of his own and wanted to settle the matter by speaking with the person he respected most: his father, Inutaisho._

_He sat awaiting his father to come into his office. Looking around he noticed the piles of books upon shelves and knew that each of them had a meaning to being there and a purpose to serve each Yamaguchi member. Hearing the door open he heard his father speaking to Izayoi and when he saw him he closed the door and stepped inside his office._

"_I thought you were supposed to be at school, Sesshomaru."_

_Without turning around he spoke._

"_Indeed, Father."_

_When the Oyabun came to his desk he quickly took his seat and gave Sesshomaru a pointed stare to get on with the matter that he needed to address._

"_I have something I wish to ask your opinion on."_

"_Go on."_

_He explained the dinner date they had shared and had gotten all the way up to about where she had told him her feelings and then he stopped. It was a surprise to his father who had never seen him stutter a day in his life, but now was not like the other times. He knew that normally he blew off emotions and never shared them, but Rin made him a different person. That was what was causing him all the turmoil in these past few days because he had no idea how to share anything with her besides his thoughts; certainly not feelings he had never felt before. With a tone that reminded him of something wistful and also something he could not believe. _

"…_Today Rin did something unexpected, she told me she loved me."_

_His father did look just a bit surprised when his eyes widened and he coughed a bit. Sure, Sesshomaru knew he was a cold person, but his father must have known by now that Rin was a different circumstance. After the initial shock, however he regained his composure that Sesshomaru knew he so well possessed and addressed his son straightforward. _

"_I will say that it is indeed unexpected but what is it you need assistance with, Son?"_

_He would never admit to squirming in his chair that day, but he would say that he did feel a bit nervous though it was not in his nature. Talking to his father was not the problem; speaking of his feelings was another matter entirely._

"_I do not know what to do. We have not spoken in a few days. As you know I am not an emotional person, though Rin seems to be changing that each day. So, I ask of you…what am I to do?"_

_His father looked a bit disappointed as he placed his hand over his forehead and sighed a bit. Sesshomaru could only imagine that he had made a horrible mistake with his actions._

"_Sesshomaru, not speaking to her is the worse thing you could do to her. She already has problems; really, does she need more like worrying about whether you are going to end the relationship?"_

_His eyebrows drew together in confusion._

"_She knows we are not breaking up! Absurd."_

_Again, his father sighed before addressing him directly._

"_Son, think of how Rin sees things. For her she tells you her feelings and then you no longer speak to her for days, what is she supposed to think?"_

_The only thing that came to his mind in the next few moments of silence between them was how, one of the few times in his life, he even admitted to himself that he had fucked up. Shit. However, he would not be saying that to anyone anytime soon._

"_Now that you understand her you need to understand yourself. You ask what you should do and honestly I cannot tell you. It all depends on how you feel about the girl and since I know you will not discuss it with me, I urge you to talk to her as soon as you can and quell her thoughts. Sesshomaru, you may not be an emotional person, but showing them every once and a while, to at least someone, will make you no less a revered figure. I am not weaker for loving Izayoi and you will be neither for loving young Rin."_

_Deciding that he had enough of the conversation he left himself out. It was not that he did not want to speak anymore it was just that what his father had urged him to do made sense. Mental problems plagued her already and this was not something that needed to kindle an already growing fire. However, before he left he looked back at his father and spoke quietly. It was odd to have such feelings, but if he were to have them about anyone then it would be alright to feel them for her. _

"_You ask me how I feel about her and I will tell you that she makes me a better demon even though she may have flaws, as do I. She accepts me for who I am and that is most important."_

_He had made his way to her home and when he got there all was quiet except for someone moving around in her bedroom. Taking his time he went up the stairs stealthily and quietly so as not to startle her to slam the door in his face, for who could blame her at this point? When he came in he found her moving things around in her room and obviously she did this when she needed to be preoccupied with keeping her thoughts at bay. She was nervous, he could tell, but something else that caught his eye was the way she was dressed. In a simple blood red pair of underwear and an equally red ribbed tank top; she was every bit as delicious as she looked and it was only a matter of time before she let him indulge in all she had to give. When she then turned around to grab something she noticed him and instantly she tried to recant what she had said those days ago._

"_I didn't mean to upset you and I can understand if you don't feel the same, but I just had to tell you what I was feeling. If you want to break up I will understand because honestly I know you are not emotional and that was asking a lot of you…and I'm sorry."_

_Stepping up to her he reached for her arms and placed them at her sides to keep them from waving as frantically as they had been just seconds ago._

"_Do you love me still Rin?"_

_He watched her physically gulp a bit before answering._

"_Yes."_

_Pulling her close to him he placed his hands on either side of her face and brought her just a mere inch in front of his own. _

"_Then you have nothing to worry about. You know I cannot tell you the words you wish to hear, but you must know that you are very important to me and I will do my best to prove so through my actions."_

_It was not exactly a love proposal, but by this time she understood him so well that he watched the tears well in her eyes and could not her the kiss he placed on her lips which turned into something more that night when a growl slid past his throat as his fingers hooked around her silk panties..._

There was an innate want for her to return to who she was. After what had happened in the cabin she thought that he must have consulted his father on the matter since when they had come back to his home later that night, landing on the doorstep, he was the first one there to greet him, obviously Sesshomaru must have taken no notice to how his father looked her over to make sure she was still alright. There seemed to be a growing trend between them and that trend was by no means a good thing when it consisted of not talking to one another for long periods of time. Their relationship was built on understanding and communication (even with the little communication that had come from his side of the relationship) and right now there was a breakdown between the bridges that always connected them. Was this whole unraveling a sign that the relationship was about to cease? Never would she want to be so far away from him as to give up on what they shared, though she could not deny it herself, as they stepped into his home, that something was indeed happening between them and it had yet to prove whether it was good or bad.

Rin had kept her luggage packed when they arrived in his room after a brief greeting to Izayoi who had come down for a midnight snack and found them there. Only after unpacking her sleepwear she then proceeded into the bathroom for her nightly routine before she went to bed. Moments later when she came out she found him sitting on the edge of the bed looking out the window at the night sky, where the moon was covered by milky clouds with a few stars poking out to greet the darkness that once was shadowed by the day. Her anger flared when still he said nothing to her, controlling herself she went back into the bathroom to brush her hair and that was when she heard his voice waft through the room towards her ears.

"I should be able to protect you from anything, even myself. These past few days have shown me that I am more than a danger to you than just my last name, also in my strength, my capabilities, now, my inner demon. You would do well to end things with me before what we have destroys you."

What the fuck? There was only so much she could take. It was rare that she should get this mad, least of all at the man she loved, but he had gone too far. And now the thoughts she had previously held about these past days being the demise of them were blatant fears that looked to come to fruition. She had had those fears when she first met him: his strength could kill her with the flick of a wrist, his demon could unleash itself upon her in the heat of a moment, his job could come around and kill her as well, but none of that mattered when she _knew_ beyond any reason of a doubt that he loved her just as much as she loved him. Slamming the brush down into the sink she stomped her way back into the room and not caring if other demons in the house heard her booming voice, she decided to take a stand against him. Never would he hurt her and she damn well knew it which was something that only fueled the flames of her anger. There she stood in front of him, grabbed his face between her hands and looked into his eyes and saw not only anger at her actions, but guilt, a guilt that had no right being there.

"Did you not listen to a single damn word I told you? I'm not some fucking doll for you to take care of and protect from everything in the world. I appreciate the gesture of this new emotion of guilt, as it is new for you, since you met me I assume however, this needs to stop right here and right now! I know I cannot keep you from worrying about me, but you need to quit beating yourself up over shit you can't control! This may be some sort of shock to you but I DO NOT recall ever blaming you for who or what you are."

When he tried to pull his face away from her like some beaten puppy, she jerked it back to her line of sight and gave no inclination that she had heard his rampant growl. These new actions just proved even further that he was guilt ridden and it was something she didn't like. Since when did he feel this way and act this way? These aspects were not Sesshomaru at all and frankly she was confused as hell. He may have felt bad, but the growl he just sent out was another thing she knew about him; just because he acted in an off way did not mean he was any less deadly when pushed too far.

"Not once did I ever tell you to give up who you were for me! Neither have I told you that I do not like what you are nor what dwells inside of you! For fuck's sake Sesshomaru open your eyes and forget, just for a simple minute, that the next day I might not be here! Live right now and if not for me, for your own sanity. My god, I know what it's like living in fear your whole life and it's nothing to condone! I have had everything taken from me and look at me now, I'm a shadow of who I used to be, but don't let the same thing happen to you too."

Calming down a bit now she stepped closer to him and made full eye contact for the first time in what seemed like forever since the previous day's incident.

"Sesshomaru, when I tell you I love you it has many reasons for being so. You saved me from myself and continue to do so to this day. I rely on you, but at the same time you know I enjoy my freedom and you respect me for that. You protect me, you provide for me and you make me feel more than I ever imagined."

Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall she continued.

"Goddamn it, when I lay awake in your arms at night and talk to you in whispers…you make me forget that I've ever known the pain that wails in my heart from my past. I know you care deeply for me and I love that about you, but if you don't let the fear of my emanate death go, then you will never be able to fully appreciate the time we have together because it will always be filled with 'what if' situations. You think I never worry about you when you go off on your own? I fear for you, I do and I always will, but I also know it is your duty to protect your family, your people, even if it means eliminating others to do so or even at the cost of your own life. I never for one instant forget your duty and I accept what you are because it means I get to love you that much longer."

She was about to move when unexpectedly she felt arms wrap around her middle and pull her into his embrace, all the while he kept his forehead on her chest and she could have sworn for one second that she felt his shudder, even for a moment's time. When he spoke to her it was muffled, but she felt it radiate through her chest cavity and knew he was speaking the truth.

"Is it so wrong to want to keep you forever?"

It was an amazing thing that he did not reprimand her for how she had spoken to him, because even though she had raised her voice before, she had never lectured him and yelled at him like this. In that specific moment she decided that maybe what he did for her would comfort him as well and so she placed a kiss on his head and knew the moment her tears hit him, that he could sense her love. Conversely, it was just as shocking to know that in this moment there was a realization that she was his everything and he loved her more than anything. Her Sesshomaru would be hurting so much when she left this world and if, like the story said, that he would not be going instantly after her like demon couples, then he would suffer so harshly in the weeks between their earthen departures. He may not be the sweetest and caring person, but still he did not deserve the punishment he would receive for her and from that thought more tears poured down her cheeks.

"God no, it's not wrong Sesshomaru. No, it's not because it's the same way I feel about you."

Was it this moment that would define who they were to each other? Somehow Rin knew that it was not a bridge that would end them, but one that would bring new understanding between them to a topic that neither one wanted to think about too much, but was going to happen eventually. In a mere few days she had seen two acts of worry and open fear in him and it frankly scared the shit out of her. Never did he act this rash with his emotions. Rin knew that these singular happenings were to be cherished to their fullest extent because he was a hard demon and his emotions stayed hidden for as long as they were told to. These were just lapses in judgment and they were what he hated. Emotions needed to spill out of their overflowing bottles sooner or later and it had taken him many years to get to these small spills. It would be plenty more until the next round of inner torment came to him and she only hoped she would be around to help him once again. Her next words came as a whisper and even though it did not solve the problem or help the situation, she also wanted to speak it aloud just to curse what had deemed them unworthy to love one another.

"It isn't fair either. Those may not be endearing words, but you have made me so many promises these past years and now I am going to make you one: I will always be by your side no matter if I'm in this world or the next. I may be independent, love, but I am never too far from you and I never will be."

Her words were met by a tight squeeze to her midsection and that night, when he laid next to her, he held her tighter than anything she had ever experienced and all night she had held him close to her heart, all the while stroking a hand through his thick hair and she knew that this snippet of time would get them through anything that was coming for them. She felt it deep in her bones much like the ringing of a bell or the pangs of an earthquake just before it struck, that whatever life threw at them it would be something they would get through together and when the time finally came to part, both would have this memory, this moment, to come back to for as long as they lasted. Even the fires that were rearing to rip them apart, biding their time to be released, would stand no chance in separating them; never, for she would hold on just as fiercely as he was now.

* * *

A/N: Oh, sooooo what will happen next? Do you know? Oh something bad I bet! So, review and I will get you the next chapter as soon as I can.

P.S. I know that this chapter is shorter than the others, but I wanted to save the next tension for Chapter 9. I didn't want to add too much drama in one chapter without giving you guys a break. :-) Believe me when I tell you that the next chapter is going to be a real left-turn. HOT DOG!


	9. Tumultuous at Best

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 8:_

_Tumultuous At Best_

A/N: I wish to start this chapter with a little poem just because I think it fits this chapter particularly well and I hope readers understand why. My English Professor had a famous poet as a teacher and to be frank I though I wasn't going to like reading it (I am an avid poetry fan) but I ended up enjoying most of this man's works. Obviously if you want to read more just use good ol' GOOGLE. Btw, don't be surprised if more of his work pops up or work by someone else. In this chapter we get to see Sesshomaru in action and a very pissed off Rin! Oh, won't it be a fun ride?

* * *

**Entrance to the Underworld**

Gregory Orr

A common enough mistake:

looking in the wrong place.

it's not a fissure

in the earth, or crack

in the cliff face.

that leads sharply down.

You were looking in the wrong

world. It was inside

you-entrance

to that cavern

deeper than hell,

more dark and lonely.

Didn't you feel it open

at her first touch?

* * *

**People **often disguise the word 'fight' as a verbal or physical confrontation, but the fact is that it's two people disagreeing about something and it leads to angered words and sometimes violence. The fact is that even the most perfect families and couples have them, no one is exempt. They were by no means perfect and had not fought severely before, but this time one of them crossed the line. He crossed the line, to be more specific. Sure maybe she shouldn't have acted as she had done but it was the one single, solitary thing she asked him never to do to her ever again and he did it, he let his beast out and it had a sharp and cold bite.

She had been thinking that he would know better and he should have, then this moment came along when she felt the trust she had in him shatter into tiny fragments. These crosses-out pieces scattered outward onto the floor, the damnable space, which now stood between them and their once-upon-a-time-happiness. Was he completely to blame or was she also at fault? Though it seemed that he was the only offender in the situation, she knew that she had done something to make him furious enough to do it. However, she also knew that he had known not to do something like that to her and yet he did without a second thought. So, by all accounts this one was mainly on him and it would be up to him to fix it. She would have no stake in whether or not she pondered going back to him.

Of course she had every right to be angry at him and right now she was exacting that privilege. Rin was using this to her fullest extent. He deserved what he got and he deserved to wallow in the fact that he wouldn't know if she was going to forgive him. Good, let him wonder. Now she stood glaring at him with everything she had. The young woman was not about to let him see just how much he had emotionally back-stabbed her. That knife was cold, sharp and lodged in there deep, though he would not be seeing the gaping wound he had left for her to bear any time soon. Their dispute had even brought Inuyasha to run to the door and see what was wrong as he headed up the steps with Kagome. Sure, it was bad enough Inuyasha had to witness it, but Kagome too. He really had humiliated her hadn't he?

Inuyasha had tried to save them from one another but it didn't work out because Sesshomaru yelled at him to stay out of it. Well, yelled a lot of colorful words that she had never heard him use all at once, but still yelled all the same. When she first met Inuyasha he had told her that his brother took everything in his life at arm's length and treated everything like a strategic game. A game he had said to her at the time, but she had not listened and now look where it had gotten her. Her trust in even a single person was a damnable cause. Nothing mattered in that moment. Not Inuyasha listening from the side of the hall (like he always did), nor Kagome witnessing a lover's spat, nor the fact that Sesshomaru's eyes gave off a soft tint of regret. No, she didn't see any of that all she saw past her heated gaze was the pull of wanting to return to the peaceful world she harbored inside her head. Though, this time she decided to feel the pain on purpose and she fought it off. She wanted her mind to know the hurt that being in love caused so that she would never make the same mistake twice. So, taking a deep breath, breathing slowly to keep the tears out of her eyes, she stepped up to him and watched as he physically leaned back a bit. With that she smiled as best she could and spoke softly.

"I want you to know one thing: What you just said, to me, is a fate worse than death. I loved you and this is what I get? I get berated in front of your brother and his girlfriend. I can give you some advice to aid you next time. Just invite your family to join the party if you want to twist the knife a bit deeper."

And with that she stepped away from him and walked all the way to the third story where she chose the most secluded room in the house and locked the door. She locked out the noises, his footsteps, his voice, his words and her hurt. For the first time Rin turned her sadness into hate. No, she could never truly hate him but the hell if she couldn't get close. So, she laid herself on the soft down covers and decided that a nice nap would do her some good. She would be prepared if he tried to come in and speak to her before she was ready. Honestly, she didn't know when she would feel good enough to walk out of this room, but she did have a heavy alarm clock to hurl at him if he decided that a premature visit was a good idea. Thank god for rich objects weighing more than their cheap competition. And with that solitary thought, she put a smile to her face and fell asleep.

To say that she was angry when someone knocked on the door was an understatement because previous to the knocks they had tried to come in by rattling the knob. Good that ass knew his boundaries. He spoke through the door and he seemed a bit resentful about his actions, though he had obviously decided that (once again) his job was more important than her mental well-being. Sure, she was used to it but this time she was somewhat glad for it because it would get him away from her. Rin couldn't stand him right now, but the initial blind fury had faded a millimeter since it had happened. Oh well, his loss. She did not grant him a reply when he asked if he could come in, so he spoke through the doorway.

"I have to leave on a small trip tonight and I do not know at what time I'll be back. Father is downstairs and he can escort you home if you would like. Goodnight."

Goodnight? Creeping over to the curtains she pushed them back to see the evening sun setting. Okay so she hadn't taken a nap but that was fine. Fine with her because it was more time that she didn't have to think about what had taken place. This was the one time she hoped that his trip would take a long time, for she needed the extra days to think about what had transpired and where she now stood in question to their relationship. Did they still have one or was this the end? Scratching her head she ended up deciding not to think about it and after she heard his footsteps leave her hallway, she took to the stairs slowly and watched him speak to his father before he looked up to her, which she quickly looked away but still noticed the subtle change that transferred his eye color from gold to amber. It was something he always did when he wanted to wish her safe without having to say it out loud. This small action also meant he was reassuring her that he would come back to her. Then, he was gone.

Inutaisho closed the door behind his son and sighed heavily before looking up to her as she stood on the top of the stairs. He looked defeated about something and she had a clue as to what it might be. He seemed to always notice when things were 'off' between the two of them good or bad. This time however, he knew it was not a good thing that she had no at least said goodbye to him. The Oyabun looked to her for an answer but she would not give one up. She had better things to do…like look at the ceiling in that room one more time and count the slight imperfections she saw. About to head back to her room she listened as she heard the older man's voice ring through the house.

"I know my son is the cause of this quarrel between you two and I assure you that he is not as intelligent as he leads others to believe. Although he is good at his job he has never been good in the human relations department. I would also like to tell you that you both must forgive one another and I'll be damned if he lets you leave him. You are good for him Rin regardless of what ugly side he showed you earlier today. He will apologize and you will have a decision to make and whether you choose the one I like is not up to me. I would like you to know that whatever you chose will not mar your appearance in my eyes. You are welcome no matter the choice you make. I will be in my study if you should need anything."

With that she left to ponder what he had said and what she needed to think about. Having so much of this on the brain was not a fun thing to do, but she was determined not to give in to her wants of letting go. Rin needed to deal with this problem logically and she needed to continue fighting to hold her sanity. It would be over as soon as she made a choice about what to do, the problem was that she truly had no idea what she was going to end up doing. Life had never favored her, but to this point she thought it had been bad enough, now she had even more problems. Oh well, everyone had problems right? Though, not everyone was a mental case with these verdicts to make.

* * *

The second time she awoke she had spied the clock to be about one in the morning. Damn she hated waking up at odd hours; it always set her body off for the rest of the day. Laying there for a while she found that she would not be able to get back to sleep, so she decided to take a walk around the house and maybe stop in the office of Inutaisho. He was more than likely still up, though she had no idea if Sesshomaru was back, as of right now, she sure as hell didn't care. Quietly she made her way towards the study and cringed as the door creaked from being pushed. Rin had wanted to make a quiet entrance but it was not what she received. There she saw the older demon sitting with his eyes focused on the paper he held in his left hand and smiled warmly before he spoke.

"Good morning Rin."

She gave no reply, per usual, and decided to take a look through the books that she was allowed to read. Maybe she would find something old and adventurous to read that would serve to keep her mind away from wondering about that all important decision she had to make. Finding her way to a book that was bound in deep olive green she plucked it lightly from the stack and established it to be the opposite of what she was wanting. It was a worn copy of Master Kung's teachings and philosophies. It seemed to be his most famous words, as written by his students, and explained in several different scholarly points of view at the bottom. Looking at the front she found the edges worn to a rounded softness instead of a course angle. She also found a picture at the bottom that looked to be worn away but she could make out what looked to be a tree with roots. It was very crude but still beautiful in an ancient way.

Rin had not been paying attention to Inutaisho while she laid down on the small relaxing chair that sat diagonal from the wooden desk he sat behind, however when he spoke she tended to listen. She had expected him to ask about what she had decided and she honestly had no answer. So, she prepared herself for what was to come but didn't expect what she was told. The girl knew him to be yakuza although he never really spoke of it to her. This night she felt that she was getting more information than even his wife knew.

"That which you have in your hands is very important to me. Do you know what it is?"

Leaning her head back to look upon him she noticed that he was smiling at her. Ah, so he was pretty intimidating and when he was angry there was no getting out of his way, but he looked serene right now. Admittedly she was a bit afraid of him and she would deal with it for now since he seemed to be trying to connect with her unforced, almost like he wanted to know about her and her to know about him. She could only stare at him in wonderment because never before had he tried to communicate with her from his own free will. So, she could do it and she could open up to him if only a bit.

"Yes, its Master Kung's teachings although I would not have thought his words would be sacred to a _business man _such as you."

At her words he gave a hardy laugh that she had not heard before. Maybe this night/day could turn into something good instead of another stain to add to her life's tale. With a smile on his face the demon leader did not look as harmful as she knew him to be. Sesshomaru had once told her some stories about his father's early days and she was hard pressed to believe all of them, but some of them she thought to be fact. Now, looking upon a man a little taller than her (plausible) boyfriend and with the long silver hair and markings to boot was like her finally noticing why Sesshomaru was who he was. She had never been told about his mother and what had happened, but he resembled his father so well. Who would take over the business if not him? Certainly not Inuyasha. She now knew why he worked so hard to impress the older demon, this man was influential and infectious with his attitude. If you were on his good side you got smiled at in dark fitful nights where his true character shines through, but cross him and…well one could only imagine with the largest mob in Japan what could happen.

"Very good. My son had told me that you are a sharp one."

"Yeah just not in Chemistry. However, I enjoy History very much."

Again he let out a small laugh that she knew was at her expense but she did not mind at all. It was what it was because the simple truth happened to be that she bombed at Chem. and she knew it. After his initial laugh he leveled her with a stare and she didn't know what to do except stare back even though she was feeling a bit nervous. This feeling grew more when he got up from his desk and came to sit extremely close to her. With that feeling she scooted away from him which she then felt the need to explain herself. The feeling of shyness overwhelmed the fear in that moment. It wasn't so much shyness as it was her feeling of not wanting to be close to people. The only person she had let close to her after the incident had been Sesshomaru and she tried hard not to feel the way she did, but she couldn't escape it. This man next to her was a demon, yakuza lord, strict, and powerful so she figured anyone would feel uncomfortable let alone an emotionally addled teen.

"Umm, sorry. I just…have problems with people being this close to me. I don't mean to be weird or anything-"

She was not able to finish before Inutaisho showed her some courtesy and backed up from her to where they had at least two feet between them. Letting out a breath she relaxed a bit in his presence like she had done in the beginning. Again he flashed a smile.

"It's quite alright. I have been told about you and a bit of what has made you who you are by Sesshomaru. Regardless, one of these days I'll get to you enough that you'll want to share a hug with this old demon."

This she found hard to believe. She had tried extensively to overcome some of the problems she had and knew that today was a big step when she didn't recede into herself again like all of the other times. Although, she would never be over these illnesses she could make herself a bit happier is she could win a few battles with her condition. So, maybe one day she would be able to trust someone other than Sesshomaru; to hug and feel safe around and she nodded to reassure him. It seemed to please him and he made a motion for her to give him the book she was holding and she quietly handed it over and waited for what he would say. His fingers slid over the cover and he seemed to be reminiscing about something.

"His words are very sacred to me. Most Oyabun today are worried about money and I will admit that it is needed and a luxury to have, but I like to try and uphold some type of semblance of tradition and faith in the old ways."

All she could do was absorb his words and try to have a hold on what he was telling her. The tree was lovely on the book with the old feel it had to it. Kind of like everything was guided in a circle and this tree formed on with both its roots and branches bowed outward to show a circular shape. Everything had a beginning, middle and end just like life and death. He even went as far as to roll up the sleeve of his crisp white dress shirt. There on his right arm on the inside of the elbow was the same tree except surrounding it was the traditional Japanese tattoo style of black and grey with hints of color. The tree stood out the most because it was dramatically different than the rest. His irezumi were gorgeous.

"By the looks of them I am guessing its Horikazuwaka's work?"

"Yes, you know he's lucky to have a girl like you who admires them and doesn't frown on the practice like Izayoi. Forgive me for speaking badly of her. I love her dearly but there are things she does not understand about the way these things work within our society."

Rin had not realized she had been starring at it that long until he had spoken, at which point she turned back to look at his eyes. They were a wondrous amber that resembled Inuyasha's more than Sesshomaru's. Pushing his sleeve back down she frowned a bit. For a girl who preyed in her mind on flowers the tree and continual patterns kept her gaze and she was sad to see them disappear. He was waiting for her to say something, she noticed, when he looked to her.

"I made it a point to accept the things that he does to himself, against others, and for you. It was something I understood because how could I frown upon him when I had my own mental issues? And still he accepted me. It was not a matter of understanding your society as it was us understanding one another's needs."

"Very well put. Now, I must be getting to bed since it is 2 a.m. and as it were I believe my wife is going to come in and get angry with me. Stay here as long as you wish and I trust you will not wonder where you should not."

With that he went back to his desk to clean his papers and she laid back down to read the book he had just given back to her. Her thoughts led her to believe that if she read something that most definitely Sesshomaru's father took to heart, and then she might possibly understand his son a bit better than she already did. So when she felt her eyes begin to weaken against the dim light and the warmth of the room she found herself fighting sleep. Inutaisho was still cleaning when she felt herself slip into slumber and did not take notice to the older man grinning at her before continuing to place his papers in their trusted files.

* * *

He was definitely more intrigued by the girl than he initially had been when he first heard that his son had taken an interest in someone besides himself. As expected he was thinking about things when his wife barged into the room about to yell at him for being up this late when he raised his hand for her to quiet down. She did as asked and understood why when she looked over to find the young girl with the book across her chest and her chest rising and falling in a timely manner. For the first time he watched her smile at the girl in happiness. She walked over to him and kissed him lightly before looking again at the girl. The eyes that used to hold contempt for the creature in front of them, now held honest emotions of happiness.

"She's beautiful Inutaisho. Though, I do hope they hedge out their problems before she leaves from sheer confusion about Sesshoamru. He is a bit too complex for most people to handle and I thought she was doing so well until he got angry at her."

Stopping in his tracks with his filing he looked to his mate and glared. She had a tendency to butt into other's problems and take sides. This one time she had a good grasp on the subject and he looked to her to spill the information. He made his way to pick her up and Izayoi followed him to the guest room where he deposited the girl on the bed, covered her up and quietly left. All the while Izayoi was whispering about the information she had gotten out of her own son, Inuyasha. Like he had told Rin, he loved her, but she did tend to be way too involved with others and their gossip.

…

"Why wouldn't this doctor prescribe you a greater dosage if the one you are taking is not working anymore?"

"I don't know, but he _is_ the doctor and not you! Why can't you just drop it?"

He stepped in front of her to make his point.

"Because you are my girlfriend and I fucking care!"

"Well it's not your decision to make now is it? What difference does it make if I get prescribed these new meds or not, they won't help! Nothing helps. I thought you understood that this would last my whole life! What is wrong with me now won't change because of a higher dose Sesshomaru!"

"It is a new drug, so why will you not try it? Are you afraid that you've been crazy for so damn long that you might actually get better?"

And there it was. He had said the one thing that he wasn't supposed to. Inuyasha had made the same mistake and never had again, but even if he did it would be not be as worse as if Sesshomaru said it. The hurt in her eyes was apparent, but as he was interjecting about how Sesshomaru needed to quit while he was ahead the older demon yelled at Inuyasha to leave and then Rin said something he would not have expected. None of them did. Granted Kagome hadn't known Rin for that long she did know that the girl was touched in the head and also mostly kept to herself unless agitated.

"I want you to know one thing: What you just said, to me, is a fate worse than death. I loved you and this is what I get? I get berated in front of your brother and his girlfriend. I can give you some advice to aid you next time. Just invite your family to join the party if you want to twist the knife a bit deeper."

After she had left Inuyasha decided that he needed to leave his brother with another piece of wisdom.

"You can be a really big fucking idiot you know that? Good luck trying to win her back after that."

…

And that was all she had to say as she turned over without another word and went to sleep. He had always known that his son had problems with woman, but Rin was a good person and needed his love more than anything in her life. After all, her own grandmother practically neglected the poor girl so she was over at this house so often the cooks always asked if she would be dinning with the family that night. The young woman did appear to make first impressions unforgettable ones on anyone she met. His son had fallen into her trap and had been there happily until he messed it up. He could understand where his son was coming from, but Rin did need room to breathe on these matters because they had to deal with her mental stability. If Sesshomaru did not at least try and see her side of things, the demon feared that he would lose a very nice addition to the family and his son would miss his only true chance of a future happiness.

* * *

She found that her time allotted to sleep amounted to only thirty minutes tops when her phone began to vibrate on the small bedside table. Quickly she grabbed it and turned it off before she turned over again and tried to fall back asleep. This time she failed once more because the blasted thing gave another vibration and would not stop. Apparently the person trying to call her was awaiting the annoying sound to piss her off until she answered. There was only one person that dared to call her when he knew she would be angry to get up this early and she had no intention of talking to him until the humming stopped and started again. Great now what?

Looking down at the flashing light on the bottom of the screen showed an S which, of course, meant it was whom she was thinking. This had better be a damn good reason for kicking her out of her nice sleep. Clicking the 'talk' button she answered with a tired voice and expected to hear him berating her on why she didn't pick up sooner, but all she got instead was a simple question.

"If I send you a map will you come to where ever I ask you?"

She didn't have time to tell him off before he hung up and she was sent a text of a map. Though she had never been to that part of downtown Tokyo she wondered why, after the large fight they had had, would he ask her to come for him at this address? Was something wrong? Though she couldn't stand him at the moment she did still care enough about his well being to not question why she was not asleep in the library and she raced downstairs to get her coat and the keys to the one thing Sesshomaru would kill her for driving, but was the fastest by far in his ownership; the bike. So what she would get to ride it and not have to worry about him telling her no. Stupid demon wouldn't be stopping her. He wanted quick and he would get quick the only way she knew how. Smiling evilly she felt her phone vibrate and looked at the text he had sent her that said with every fiber of her laughing maniacally at it:

_No bike._

Oh well, that demon had chanced her still being angry and guess what? She still was! So damn him she would do what she wanted to because she could at the moment. He was not here to tell her no and by the fires of Hell she was not about to pay attention to some stupid text. He'd get over it. Quickly she grabbed the black helmet (his again) and pushed the bike out of the garage and into the lawn before she "accidentally" spun out on the grass and rocketed out into the early morning hours with a smile on her face that no one could see. She swept past everything familiar and became a streak of black and red across the canvas of the starry sky above her.

On the bike the sharp turns down the allies were easy to make, but she parked it a street down from the address she was given and made sure to cloak it a bit next to a closed fruit stall, before she made her way up the dark street to a seemingly small looking abode. She found it to be secluded from the others as well as home to lots and lots of windows on each side. What in the hell was this place. It had what looked to be six floors to it. It had to be some upscale housing development from what she could see. Taking a breath she stepped in and found it to be a little plain on the inside with no front desk to ask about the room number he gave her. Figures that it would be on the top floor. So, stepping into the steel padded elevator she pressed the sixth button and waited to see what she would meet on the other side.

What she found on the other side was a large whole floor apartment fully furnished and with a large glass set of windows that covered the entire area across from her. It was a gorgeous view and spacious but the only problem was the building right next to this one. On either side she noticed brown and red brick buildings obscuring the view a bit, though if you looked past them you could see the whole of the Tokyo downtown area and also its roadways along with the bullet train in the far off distance. Without taking a look around the rest of the place she stepped up to the window and as her fingers touched the unforgiving cold glass she smiled. He had good tastes she had to admit that. This would be the best view if only the building a few yards right next to this one was not there at all.

"I see you find the view impressive."

Knowing the voice behind her she had no reason to turn around, though when she did she wished she had not. He had obviously just come from a shower and only had a pair of jeans hanging from his muscled pelvis. Now was not the time for her to be admiring him even though she did love the way those muscles of his moved as he toweled off his wet hair. He was gorgeous, but also a prick to her at the moment and the second quality won over and she angrily turned around to the view to ask him what he wanted with her.

"Why did you wake me up at some ungodly hour to come to some stupid apartment? By the way, the view isn't that great because the last time I checked a view of the building next to you isn't so special."

To be honest she was not listening to what he had to say because when she looked to her right she found the answer. He had a pile of his bloody clothes lying on the floor a few feet next to a clan and white armchair. So, his patrols obviously started out as fruitful. And without giving him time to finish she rudely interrupted him.

"Who did you go after?"

"No one you need to know of, though you will know that he evaded me."

In all truthfulness it was never a good thing that someone got away from him, that meant that the person would suffer a worse fate than the original for trying to outsmart him. In this moment she should feel good that he had lost his target but it was not a good thing when some disgusting drug dealing womanizer was out on the streets looking for his next victim. As proven before she had gotten over what he did for a living and she knew she could never go back to feeling sorry for those who preyed on the young and weak. Shrugging her shoulders at his accusation she heard him walk over to her and stealthily stepped away from his grasp before he could get to her. He growled a bit and tried again and this time he won.

"Get away from me because I really don't like you right now."

Rin had every right to resist him and she would even as he tried to get her to look him in the eyes. Again he growled but she would not tolerate him when he had hurt her badly just earlier. Asshole thought he could have anything he wanted. What was wrong with her? Why was she not struggling and why were tears coming to her eyes? She pushed him back but knew he had seen them when he stopped trying to control her and just let her be and let her breathe for a bit. Looking up at him she smacked him and attempted to again, but this time her hand didn't connect.

"I'm so pissed at you. Why would you say something like that you prick?"

She let no other emotion show at that point except for anger when he grabbed her and tugged her into his body. Logically her pissed off mood made her fight against him but it was to no avail because he kept her to his body as she struggled. What an ass he was to think she would just go back to him with open arms just like that. What an idiot he had to be to think she had just forgiven him from one embrace. Though, his body did make her feel safe. He was in no right off of the hook, but this was a start. The reverie was broken however, when a loud crack rang through the apartment and he suddenly looked up and shoved her to the floor before another crack resounded through the apartment. She had no idea what was happening as he tossed over the couch they had been standing near and drug both of them behind it. Holy shit they were getting shot at!

She wanted to scream but he wouldn't let her as his hand covered her gaping mouth. Trying to stay calm she watched as he motioned for her to be quiet with a single finger to his lips. She found out why she needed to hush when he listened as best he could through the piercing noises of the bullets hitting the glass and the couch that protected them like a shield. Thumps could be heard, and she looked over and saw a door of course the door would lead to steps that could be used in case of an emergency. He pointed up at the elevator and she watched the number click as the device took someone up to their level. Quickly he looked to her, asked her to keep up, and grabbed her hand as he bolted from the couch towards the door where heavy boots could be heard. Okay, so she knew that some yakuza had police officers but these guys sounded freaking tactical. The only thought she could think of was that she would die in a simple pair of jeans, a see-through silk top that she had changed into that night, and no shoes because she had kicked them off when she entered the white carpeted floor. At least she would die with no dignity…lovely.

He shoved her out the door and the fire alarm erupted into an ear splitting sound that made her cup her hands around her ears. She watched him turn and go back into the room as more bullets chased after him. Damn he was fast. She yelled for him when she looked over the stairway railing and found uniformed men dressed all in black running up the stairs. He quickly came back out and she found what he had grabbed on his way back in. A black butted shining gun was in his hand and she knew what he had gone in for: protection. Not so much for him, but for her. He could handle himself, but she needed to be protected. Always with the protection thing. Rolling her eyes at him she pointed down over the rail and he stepped back a split second before she watched a bullet zoom past where his head had just been. They were out to get him that was for sure.

Not having any time to think anything through her hand was grabbed and they launched down the stairs and she couldn't help but wonder why they were going towards the men with guns and not away. Pulling back on his hand she tried to get him to stop but he continued pulling on her hand between the bullets ricocheting and her wanting to kill him already. She had to admit that her life definitely was not boring when it came to him. He pushed through the door of the fifth floor and he looked around to make sure no one was coming down the same hall and bent the handle with his strength and without think gabbed her hand again as they clamored into room 515 and he barricaded the door. Sitting herself down on the black sofa she looked around. Okay, who the hell lived here? Good thing they weren't home. She heard more thumps and decided to creep into the bathroom and whispered for Sesshomaru to come see what she was seeing. He didn't reply at first so she asked for him again.

"What Rin?"

"Come here."

And he did after he made sure that some ample strength would be needed to break it. She watched the look on his face as it just stared on into the bathroom. There in the tub were pounds of nice and neatly wrapped packages of white stuff she knew was definitely NOT powdered sugar. For the second time that night she uttered a solid 'holy shit' to herself and looked to stare back at him. Quietly she tried to judge his reaction but he didn't seem as affected as she was by it. He had probably seen more drugs than that in his life, as for her this was a whole knew knowledge. He closed the door without looking at her and turned back to the living room area and then he smiled at her. That's when a loud banging was heard next door.

"They're searching each room. Sesshomaru they know we're in here."

Again, he said nothing a continued to look at the door as it was thudded into with what she assumed to be shoulders of well armed men. Sesshomaru then looked at the row of windows that seemed to be a commonality in all of these apartments. He was not about to do what she thought he was going to do was he? A bullet sliced through the door and she pushed him over a slight millimeter before it could connect with his skull. Lucky him that she wasn't as mad at him now as she had been.

"What in the hell is wrong with you bringing me here to be shot at?"

"Keep it down Rin."

"What's the point they know we're in here! This is freaking great I'm going to die with shitty feelings towards you and in some ugly-ass clothes too."

At that instant his hand came to her mouth and still she kept talking. He would see how pissed off she was no matter how hard he tried to conceal it. Stupid ass would know just how angry she could get before they died. Well, maybe he wouldn't die because he was a demon, but she definitely would with a well placed single silver bullet. As he came back up he stood in front of her, which she would find endearing if she wasn't so mad at him. He casually walked her over to the window and shot a single bullet straight into the glass and watched as it completely shattered. The fragments sprayed out and she even watched a flake of it strike him across the check and a small drop of blood appeared there. So badly did she want to wipe the drop away that she unconsciously lifted her hand to do so and he caught it gently before he looked down at her. Something was wrong she could tell. Amidst the shattering glass, the bullets raining across from them and her understandable anger she still found the single most emotion in his eyes: regret.

What was it that he did regret? Was it that they had fought? His words? Asking her to come here perhaps? She wouldn't get an answer to that internal question because he kissed her quickly on the forehead and walked her towards the window. She looked over the edge and nearly paled and she leaned back into his chest as he kept stepping closer and closer with her in front of him. This was his plan, to shove her out of a window? She even voiced this to him in a squawking tone to show that she was both pissed and highly terrified. He could survive a five floor fall but she couldn't.

"I know that you must hate me still for the previous day's events but I need you to trust me right now more than you ever have before. I need you to know that you'll have to willingly let go and do what I tell you to survive."

She looked out and found that an orange tint was beginning to show over the horizon. So, daybreak was coming soon. Looking back at him the wind ruffled her hair and she smelt something in the air. Of course she was not a demon with super senses but she knew that something was amiss right now. The day was just getting started and already she was having large troubles getting through it.

"I want you to trust that I will catch you. I can tell you want to say something but please keep quiet for a moment. I _will_ catch you before you hit the ground and I am going to deal with these humans while you run anywhere you want to. Just get out of here as far away and as quick as you can. Do not worry for me alright? I will find you when I can."

With that she didn't have time to protest as men broke through the door and without him even looking towards her (but focused on the door) she felt a light shove on her chest and she was pushed back first out of the window. Feeling a bit of pain on the pad of her foot she assumed that she must have caught it on a residual piece of glass. Okay so she was going to die with glass and plaster fragments in her hair, crappy clothes, and the best part was that her boyfriend had pushed her out of a freakin' window. So, it would all end here on the clean streets of outer-city Tokyo. The end of her life seemed to be more tumultuous than the beginning of it. Then, that was when she felt it; a pair of arms around her waist as she was turned over mid-air and slammed into the unforgiving pavement, well his body hit the pavement, she just hit him with the impact. He heaved her up and set her on her feet pushing her toward the back ally next to them. Watching as he seemed to talk to her but nothing registered as sound much like a silent film where the characters moved their lips but nothing came out. Then she watched a he turned back around when one of the men was clearly a demon because he leapt down from the few stories and onto the dented pavement in front of Sesshomaru.

Quickly she turned when she heard an ample amount of pops resound in the air. Then, she just ran. Nothing else mattered but getting as far away from watching her boyfriend die as she could. It sounded selfish not to go and help but what would she do for him except get in his way? Taking a sharp right down another ally she then climbed over a high metal fence that torn at her jeans, but she never ceased to find out where. Still she ran and ran until she found a subway station entrance and split right down to the teller a bought a ticket with a few of the remaining money she had in her pants pocket. She didn't know where she was going but anywhere was safer than here. Stepping onto the train she knew that it wasn't going to be empty even at this time of the day. There were always plenty of people moving about in this city and she took a seat. Pushing her hair behind her ear she couldn't' help but twitch her leg up and down in impatience. Every once and while when the doors would open to let someone off she would look around to make sure no one had followed her.

And so she sat there with the darkness of the tunnels making her feel calm every time they would hit a boarding point and then the light would come on as they exited and came into the rising sun. It was nice to hear nothing but silence and not be inside her head. She felt serene like she had at the cabin except this time she was not about to die. Rin had trusted him and it had turned out fine…for her at least. The sound of the train as it whistled by in the early morning where her only comfort and with each shift in the car she recalled that he was a demon and had probably been through worse hellfire than that. He would live, he had to. Sure, she was still pissed but that quickly turned into fear. She may have wanted to hurt him though she assuredly did not want him to die.

The bedraggled looking soul did not exit the train until the announcer made a last stop before he was going to head back to Tokyo. Not knowing exactly where she was had been a good and bad thing: she didn't know where she was and assuredly no one else would and a bad thing because of that very same reason. Stepping lightly up the stairs to the streets of whereverthiswasville she looked around to get her bearings. Recognizing nothing she walked a bit hunched over from the injury still alive and paining on her foot and her arms wrapped around her for some warmth. The wind blew on her shoulders and sent a chill down her spine. The people who passed her on the streets looked at her strangely before they kept walking on. She knew she must look a site but at this moment all she could do was look for a place to grab something to eat and wait for Sesshomaru to find her.

To say that she looked worse for wear was something to be said indeed. The first few places she went into denied her access at the door because she looked too much like a vagrant and they didn't want to portray that to their customers. The one place that she did find refuge was in a small eatery that only served cold sandwiches, sushi, and a few different organic drinks. It was small and a bit shabby but anything would do for her constantly grumbling stomach. She kept to herself a near the back so that people wouldn't stare at her too much. With the last bit of change she had she bought a small sandwich and a cup of water. Thought this meal didn't seem like much it was a reprieve from having nothing at all. She even took up facing away from the people who in so she was able to eat in relative peace. And there she sat thirty minutes later in the same café feeling lonely and worried about what was going to happen next. Finally she left and wondered around the roads like a vagrant for a few more hours until she took up residence near a park bench. The sun was almost about to rise completely and she had a great view of it as it happened minute by minute. She hadn't taken the chance to slow down long enough to notice until the fear of death was involved, but now she understood what it meant to be alive in 'The Land of the Rising Sun'. Nothing mattered but the moment she was in and how she would always perceive it to be.

She felt something hit her foot and noticed that it was a bill that had been captured by the wind. Maybe things were about to look up for her. This was enough to buy herself lunch, though she was beginning to wonder if Sesshomaru would be coming back for her. What if he was dead? What if they had also gotten to Inutaisho? What if they were looking for her. After all, at least a few of them had to have seen her face while they looked out and down at the commotion the two demons were making as they fought. Maybe they were coming here and she would not be getting a chance to see him again? All of these dangerous thoughts ran through her head as she awaited the afternoon to come. Of course nothing was ever good on this day because the sun was quickly covered with clouds that brought in the rain. Great, now she was stuck amidst the torrential rain and winds of a hurricane in a place she had no idea of where and if Sesshomaru had been looking for her, her sent would indeed be obstructed by the overwhelming sent of water.

Sighing she found herself once again leaving the little eatery and returning to the park bench. She had stayed in that café for as long as she could but they closed at 6 o'clock in the evening. It was funny how she believed that she would like an entire day by herself and now that she had it she did not want it at all. Deciding that she had had enough of the dank and slowly darkening park bench she got up and walked further into the city. Still she cared not where she was and only that Sesshomaru was safe and away from her at the moment. As the streetlamps began to turn on and the rain turned to a slight drizzle she made her way with her head down and shoulders low; she didn't want to see the looks of disparagement that she way getting on the neat and tidy lines that separated one block from another. Suddenly something obstructed her path and she decided to go around the person standing in her way, but there strong arm stopped her and pulled her into them and without struggle she collapsed into the warm embrace she knew so well. And as she weaved her fingers into his soggy black shirt she whispered his name.

"Sesshomaru."

"You know you are a very hard person to find."

Nothing more was said because even though she was mad her exhaustion won out and all she could do to feel better was to let out a gasping laugh and hug him back more fully while she cried into his chest. The rain slid between them, but that was the only thing to do so. The air itself wasn't constructive enough to get between their bodies. He obviously knew what had been running through her head because he made sure to tell her that the persons back at his second apartment, which he explained he used when he got in too late to go back home, were all disposed of. Quite honestly she tried to pay some semblance of attention but the only thing she knew at the moment was that he smelled like steely iron, rain, and everything she had ever been familiar with and in that moment nothing could have been more comforting.

* * *

When he finally found her on the streets rain soaked and scared he could not help wanting to feel her in his arms just to make sure she was really there. He had endured scrapes and cruises and they would heal in due time but her pain would take some time to get over. Taking her back to his apartment, he took her clothes from her, placed her in his bed, and instantly she fell into slumber. And as he sat there in a chair looking over her soothed body covered with rain droplets the only thing he could think was that his life was leading her own to the ground. Though they both seemed to help the other in situations it looked as if their pasts were turning up to haunt the other. Another thing her knew was that he never wanted to stay away from her body or her mind. When things around him went array he always knew where to go to feel a great amount of worth and love. Sesshomaru would not be deterred by those who wanted to hurt either one of them. He knew for a fact he always wanted to sit like this and watch her chest pull and release with each cherished breath she took; he kept her sane with memories but what she did not know was that she kept him sane with her love.

* * *

This appeared to be a trend: her waking up after something traumatic happening. Except this time was different than the others because it had been a three days since the last incident and after that night he had taken her back to her own home to think about everything that happened along with the true life that she wanted. In all sincerity she had never questioned her willingness to be a part of his lifestyle until now. She needed time to think things through and then she would be giving him his decision. This was not to say that at school he did not try to sway her decision as best he could. He would pass her in the hallway and let his hand subtly brush against her own, he would leave small lotus origami flowers in her locker (which he knew she loved) and even went as far as to step in front of her as she was going to class, take her books, and wait until she mumbled about him influencing the vote and snatched them out of his hands before going into her class. He was making an ass out of himself and it looked as if he didn't care, but she knew him well enough that it was tearing him up to treat her like this. Of course he always did nice things for her when they were officially together, but doing it in front of tons of students was not an easy hit for his ego to take.

After thinking back for a bit she put on her school uniform after a long shower and headed down to the living room in her home to grab her books and leave. She was not up to dealing with his paper flowers or light touches today, she just wanted to get through school and then think about things a bit before she called him and told him about her decision. With any luck he would cease doing these influential things and she would be able to think clearly. All of those thoughts seemed to drift out of the window when she came to school and he was standing outside of the gates waiting for her to approach him though she tried to go around him it didn't come to fruition. When she tried to go around him, he wouldn't let her. When she tried to keep walking he followed her all the way to her locker, and when she glared at him and asked him to kindly go away he said no and continued to stare at her. Rin was beginning to think that there was nothing she could do to get away from this man…errr demon.

That was when something miraculous happened. She had seen Kagura glaring at her as soon as she had made her return to school. That dumb bitch just had no idea when to quit. Now, that evil girl was coming for her, at her locker, to no doubt say something rude and bitchy. Already, from across the hall she came with her group of girls to try and intimidate Rin like she had tried many times before even previous to her knowing Sesshomaru. This chick just had it out for Rin and she was tired of it. When she was close enough she heard Kagura talking as she fished through her locker to find one of the books she knew to be hiding from her somewhere in the deep confines. Kagura seemed to be going on and on about something to do with Sesshomaru and she became clear enough to hear.

"I'll show this bitch. She can't come here and take away one of the hot guys from this school. I mean yeah, he's creepy as hell, but damn if she'll ever have him much longer why I…Hey Rin listen here you-"

There was never even a chance for that girl to even get close enough to Rin to say much more because she 'accidentally' swung her locker door open at the wrong time and it just so happened to collide with the other girl's nose. An excruciating scream emitted from the young woman and she immediately started crying as well as Rin pulled the locker back and found blood rushing from her nose. Of course her friends glared evily at Rin, but it wasn't like she cared all that much but passersby needed a story to work with, so she gave them one. Acting skill #1: Even if you don't feel the emotion you need to act it.

"Goodness, that looks bad, maybe you should go to the school nurse."

Her reaction was to scream.

"You bitch, you know exactly what you did!"

Rin wanted to smile at this point but kept it in and instead gave the girl her stoic face just as well as perhaps Sesshomaru could do it.

"I assure you Kagura, that I did not see you there. I was looking in my locker and I hadn't notice you."

"Whatever you whore!"

Then, she started crying again. No doubt that it did, indeed, hurt but oh well. That bitch deserved what she got and more for what she put Rin through these past few years. She was going to be in a good mood today because already the rumors were flying about whether or not she did do it on purpose. Of course she did! But, she was not about to share that with anyone. That would be all she needed to add to her cruddy day, a fucking detention sentence. Nope, not today. She felt happiness well inside her until she remembered Sesshomaru and also what he had done. Great, that happy feeling had just taken a swan dive out of her head and into the nearest ocean. Fuck!

Taking a few deep breaths as she looked into the contents of her bag before she closed it she found another lovely, yet annoying, lotus origami figure in her bad. Didn't he understand that she wasn't ready to give him her decision yet? She was about to tear it up when she noticed that something was written on the underside of it. There written in the script she knew to be his, she found her name beautifully inscribed there. The writing was lovely, but all of the things he could do well were insurmountable, which only fueled her annoyance of him further. Sure, she had cried on him and after that incident was over she went right back to being angry. His saving her was not going to expunge what he had previously done. Calling her crazy was not to be taken lightly. When she was young they diagnosed her with all of these problems they stuck her in a place where white was king and no color abound. That's why her thoughts were filled with vast fields of colorful flowers; she never wanted to feel that way again.

Her thoughts had wondered again (as they normally would) yet she got them back on track and as she heard the tardy tone sound through the halls she couldn't help but want to read what she knew had to be on the inside of the paper. Okay, so another thing she was not good at was folding tiny sections of little paper and she did not want to rip it up to get at it. And there she sat in the hall hoping that a teacher would not leave prematurely and find her without a desk to sit in. As quietly as she could she pried open the paper and with each unfolding she looked to make sure no one was appearing around any corners and there she found a note:

_I find it peculiar that you are still angry with me after saving you a few days ago, although I believe I should be thanking you for what you did for me. One thing a demon cannot survive is a bullet to the head, so an extended 'thanks' is in store. However, I would like to tell you that I find this scenario ridiculous and would also like you to know that I am regretful of my words to you and will only be happy to tell you in person. There is a condition to this: you have to forgive me if you want to hear it. _

_S._

Wait, was he serious? She was the one making the decision not him and here he was demanding things of her no less. She was sure of one thing: this was indeed what he would say and she also knew that he would apologize to her, but she just needed to find a way to forgive him. It would be hard because this one rule she asked him never to break was broken. That damnable word was whispered her whole life and also from the lips of the white coated people who were supposed to be helping her. Never did she want to hear it uttered by someone she trusted. Of course they had both been angry, though she never went as far as to demean him. Rin would forgive easily if it had been a simple misunderstanding but it was not. Now she had a decision to make and as she sat starring at the characters lightly inked on the paper before her she smiled when she cleared her mind and finally came to a conclusion.

* * *

A/N: You know what to do by now…I hope. :-)

**Irezumi- **the full body tattoos of the yakuza.

P.S. Just so ya know the art work of a man named Horikazuwaka _**is**_ real and I'm sure you can GOOGLE him as well. He has beautiful art work and is a very famous tattoo artist in any right. As an avid tattoo collector, of course, I clamored to talk about him. Yay! They're so addicting! Not that you care…but OK I'm rambling now so I'll just stop. ;-p On that note, have a great day!


	10. In Pursuit of Phantoms

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 9:_

_In Pursuit of Phantoms_

A/N: Just like to add a note here for those of you who might be asking when this story is going to pick up, well this is the chapter where we start to link things together from the previous chapters. So stay tuned. :-) I hope you are going to enjoy this. This one was a bit more exciting for me since we get a peek at something that has certainly been bugging me about the story line. **This chapter starts off where the last one ended just to let you know.** Now, HAVE AT IT!

* * *

**Decisions **were hard little fuckers to make. Choosing an answer was a lot more complicated when it involved other persons. And she would be damned if this decision between staying or leaving her boyfriend was one to be taken lightly. Naturally, she wanted to forgive him but she often wondered if she had it in her to do so considering the situation. To be honest she had thought she had one made up but as soon as she came upon him after her classes that day not a single word came to her mind. Just by the sheer look of him she wanted to be forgiving, but she also knew his attitude and considering what he had done she should have just walked right on by, but she didn't. There she stood in front of him with a bag full of homework over her shoulder because apparently nearly getting killed was not a good enough excuse to be exempt from a hellacious amount of homework. There she stood with not a single answer in her head and here he was clearly expecting one. She looked to the parking lot and then to him, which he took to understand that she wanted a ride.

The ride itself was one of silence and still she thought about it long and hard the entire time. Which one to choose? Before she knew it he had parked her in front of her home and was waiting for her to get out. Was he done with her as well? As she was about to open the door to get out, she stopped, looked at him and motioned for him to follow her inside. Knowing that her grandmother was not going to be here today because it was "spring cleaning" for the temple influenced her decision. He said nothing to her as she grabbed her keys to get inside and still nothing when she went to the kitchen, grabbed a piece of fruit and quietly sat in the kitchen, away from him as she finished it. He just stood there like a person awaiting the sentencing from a judge. Though he looked neither angry nor curious as pertaining to her actions she did notice that he was a bit off kilter.

"I have one condition."

Finally when someone spoke it broke the foggy air of silence. It was her who decided to give him an ultimatum since he was so good at giving them to her. If he said no then she would leave and if he said yes then she would stay. Sure, the answer was simple enough but coming from a serious and unmovable soul like Sesshomaru the process would be incredibly hard. He gave her no reply and let her continue on with what she was saying beforehand.

"It is simple enough to answer and the answer that you give will influence my decision. Know that this time you will get an answer afterwards. No more time spent for me to think things over or anything like that."

Casually as she strolled over to the trash she flipped the lid and caught him off guard by asking in that instant. She couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes as she remembered what he had said to her those days ago. He had crossed the un-crossable line and then redeemed himself by getting her in-between bullets. What an odd relationship they have had. Still the tears came but she refused to waste them on this moment until she knew what he had to say.

"No matter how 'crazed' I become, please don't put me in an asylum."

Knowing that it came out of nowhere, to him, she decided to explain.

"You called me something and I never told you why I hated it. I was known by it in school, but what I didn't tell you was that when I first came back from my parent's death was when my mind games started to play with me. And my grandmother did not know what to do with me at the time, so she took me to one. While there I was deemed 'hopeless' and those who were to help me called me the very name I hated and told you not to say. I told you not to say it because I never wanted you to be anything like those people there. So I ask of you never to take me there."

Like it was always between them he said nothing at first and it led her to believe that he was either confused out of his mind or that he was deciding to leave her mad ass. Maybe she was really beyond hope like they had said. Sure she had times when she would get better but there always appeared to be instances that would bring her right back to square one. As she was thinking she didn't realize that he was advancing on her until he pulled her into him, lifting her off the floor a bit because of his height, and admittedly made a commitment of sorts.

"Never."

Rin knew that it was possible that he would break that promise and in the mean time she decided to take a chance on him. If this man didn't fully accept her then she feared that no one in the world could. In that same instant she smiled despite the tears she refused to let fall because this was the first time in her life that her sane side had held out for this long and now she was committed to the demon who held her. They had to make it work, for who promised her more than anything that they would one day be happy? Who tried to make her happy every time he was around her? Who made her laugh the fullest she had ever done after her parents had died? The one being to keep her sane (as sane as she could get). A man who made her want to kiss him and knock him silly at the same time, but that was life. Things happened and you just had to get through them. There would be more fights to be had and they would get through them together. It sounded entirely too cheesy she knew it and she gave not a care. No matter how many times she cracked he would always be there to help her fix herself again. Love had nothing on how she felt about him.

* * *

Rin had said nothing about her experience in the asylum since his previous day's talk with her. It was odd that she would not be mentioning it, but like the progress he had to make when he first met her, he would have to ask about it slowly and over a long period of time to get all of the information. He was ready to make things work with her, hell he had been already and that single fuck up had almost cost him and he would not be making that big of a mistake again. She was his future mate and bride; the first part she knew about with the whole demon mating ritual; however what she did not know was his intention to marry her on a human's terms as well. First he needed to discuss a very important question with his father.

Later that evening he had taken Rin back to his home and though she was still a little weary of him, he gave her the space she needed and let her set the bar for the progression of the trust in their relationship. Truth be told he had killed that trust, but he would allow her to make the moves. Although it was much like the beginning of their relationship he knew she would be cautious and he accepted it. Now, he stood outside of the kitchen watching Rin chop vegetables to help Izayoi with cooking that night. His father always had the cooks make the main courses of the day, but as a compromise he let his wife fix one day's meals and right now she was working on dinner. It was not that she was not allowed to cook it was just that his father pampered her way too much and though she liked to cook he did not want her lifting a single finger most of the time. The way his father saw it was that she was his to take care of for as long as she lived and Sesshomaru could understand why his father felt the way he did. Of course he himself had felt the same about Rin she simply would not let him be there for her every moment and he let her do the things she enjoyed.

Never could he see himself _not_ taking care of Rin, but to treat her like his father did Izayoi would be an insult to her. She could take care of herself (sometimes) and she was also subject to her conditions, so he let her have her space and it always worked out for the better when he understood the boundaries between them. He knew the differences between the times when she was upset and wanted him there, to the times when she just needed to be alone. He had already crossed one boundary and he was not about to test the waters again. Seshomaru now watched as she listened to what Izayoi had to say about the times when he was younger. His father looked to be staring lovingly at his mate and the young demon was not about to interrupt. The demon knew he was there and would address him when he was done ogling. Finally he looked back at his son and after taking a sip from the drink in his hand he spoke.

"It is nice to see that you and Rin have worked things through."

"Yes, though I seem to have to earn her trust all over again, it is something I am willing to do."

At the exact moment he said that Rin must have felt some presence behind her because she looked back over her shoulder and gave him a small smile and then casually acted like she had heard every word Izayoi had said. Then, looking to his father he decided that any time would be a good one to say what he needed to say.

"I have a slight favor to ask you. Though, I should not call it a slight matter. It is of large consequence to Rin."

Before his eyes the older demon emptied his glass and walked over to the mini bar and began to make himself another drink.

"Son, I hope you didn't get her pregnant."

Without noticing his reaction Sesshomaru had let his impassive mask slip, which his father noticed. Then the disbelief turned into slight anger. He was _highly_ fond of Rin but he was not an idiot when it came to those things.

"Of course not."

Physically his father let out a deep breath and smiled.

"Then continue."

"Rin has told me something that happened to her that pertains to her past. It seemed that the woman has secrets to hold from me, however I respect her decision to disclose them when she is ready. Now, she told me that when she was younger, after her family's deaths, her grandmother could not handle a young and mentally unstable child and so Rin was placed in an asylum. She asked me never to place her in one no matter how bad she may get and I extend the courtesy further."

His father looked at him with a questioning glance.

"What is it you would ask of me exactly?"

"I wish for you to keep my promise to her in my stead if something is to happen to me. You know the business more than anyone and you also know that demons are not indestructible. I only ask that you abide by my own promise to never put her back in one. She speaks of bad experiences and has not told me everything that had happened, but I suspect it was not pleasant."

For a split second it looked as if his father had nothing to say on the matter and then he looked Sesshomaru straight in the eyes and nodded.

"I will do as you ask. That young one is fast becoming someone I wish to protect as well; a daughter if you will. However, you must promise me that you will try to stick around for as long as you possibly can for her."

"Agreed."

With that they left the conversation and topic to die. Never again would it be brought up. It didn't have to resurface because his father understood what he was asking. Yakuza did not always last the longest with the profession they are given and Sesshomaru's demon blood was no exception. He needed to assure Rin's continued health and protection and the best way he knew how was to employ his father to the task in case he was no longer able to be there for her. It was hard to think that possibly one day he would have to leave her (and not of his choice either) and if he did he needed to know that she would be safe for the rest of her life. With that thought completed he swept it out of his mind as he decided to forego Rin's rules and just as she was brushing her hands on a small towel he came behind her and lifted her from the floor. Despite her protests he kissed her on the cheek. He was rewarded with a small smack on the chest, a ruff dismissal and then a laugh. At this rate it would do her well to just forgive him because even if he was not a demon of charm he certainly knew how to get through to her.

* * *

Curiosity was something that had two sides to it. One side deemed that if you had curiosity you would learn something new, but the other side stipulated that you might just loose your head for knowing or wanting to know more than you should. Since the death of her immediate family she often wondered why, when she was hiding under that bed, that the men were so insistent on trying to find her. What was it about a small girl that was so damned important that the whole of the family needed to her off'd and not just her father or mother? There had to be something worth killing them all over and she wanted to find out why it was ordained that her whole life was going to be taken from her in one fowl swoop. This was something she needed to know in order to fully move on with her life, but she wondered: would she _want _to really know or should she just let it be and move on without the knowledge?

Was there any truth to be had from her brother's words that their family name was not originally what she was taught? These things she needed to know in order to put the past behind her, so she decided to go with her curiosity. No matter where it led her she would follow through with it. Not having told her own boyfriend what she was up to had not been a good idea on her part but she needed to find someone who would help her and not try to control the situation. Not being able to ask for help from him or his father was crucial to the secrecy of the whole thing and she was not about to loose that if her father turned out to be just like she had known him to be. Never had she wanted to waste Sesshomaru's time, so that was why she now headed towards a place that could help her out. There was a possibility that a man like him would know how to look for information on a person either living or dead.

For all of those reasons she was now headed towards the one place she would find some help without fear that Sesshomaru would find out and throw a fit. She had decided to leave right after school since _he_ was off doing something or other for his father that way he would not know about it. It wasn't that she didn't want him to find out parse, it was more that she needed to do this for herself and by herself; this was her own past not his. Taka Hisayuki had given her his business card and said that if she needed anything "off the radar" of the other men she was around, that he would be there for her. He was a good friend of Inutaisho, but she also knew that 'friends' in a business like this were only relative to them making you money. Though she had no where else to go she had felt good about who the man was and how he had acted towards her.

Now though, it was just a matter of matching the card address with what road she was now trying to navigate. The road in particular was like every other place in the large city of Tokyo, it was long, thin, and populated with way too many people. Oh well she was giving it a shot. Coming upon an intersection from the road she believed to be right, she didn't have a clue as to whether or not to take a right or a left. Great, just great she was going to get even more lost than she already was. She knew that most yakuza business was displayed on the outside of the building but the hell if she knew where to find the building itself let alone a freakin' sign! About to give up and try another ally she watched a girl get pushed from a side-street up ahead and a man came from behind her. Okaaaaay what just happened? He called her something and then threw money at her before walking off at a fast pace down the other side of the street. What the hell?

With a thought to help the woman she walked over to her and when the girl looked up she glared at the man's retreating form and picked up the wads of cash before trying to dust hersrelf off. Normally, Rin would not approach someone so forwardly, but this girl seemed to need help and she wasn't completely heartless (although sometimes she might feel like it). Cautiously, she walked up the woman who had her hair pulled back, some nice pink hose, a sparkling black blouse and a nice black skirt with a ruffle around the edge. Definitely the woman was pretty, but Rin wasn't stupid. Obviously, the girl was a prostitute and that man had treated her poorly from the looks of it. Still, no one deserved to be treated like shit. So, steeling herself up she walked to the woman and helped her put the contents of her small spilled purse back inside of it.

"Thanks, but you might not want to get seen with me girl, it might ruin your reputation."

Looking around Rin found no one in the ally and only an old couple starring at them through the curtains of their window. When they saw that they were getting looked at from below they quickly looked away.

"It's fine. You don't know me but I will say that I don't have much of a reputation to loose.

Putting her hand near her mouth she motioned to the old couple above that peeked again through the window at the young women below.

"They aren't much for gossipers, just busy bodies."

They both gave a slight laugh and Rin helped her up off of the floor. She tried helping the older woman dust off but she looked to have everything under control when she swatted Rin's hand away to do it herself.

"I'm quite fine though, thank you for being interested in helping a mizu shobai."

"Really it wasn't a problem. I'm not what you are and I know what it's like to be treated like shit. No one deserves it no matter what they do or who they are."

She a few crow's feet around her eyes, wide cheeks, and supple lips and she was very pretty under all of that makeup. Rin could just tell that she had been through enough in life to make any sane person into a crazed one, but she dealt with it that best way she knew how. The woman was about to light a cigarette when she looked at Rin as if to ask permission.

"Its fine, my boyfriend smokes so I'm used to it."

Lighting the stick the older woman then took a drag and looked down at Rin.

"So, what made you want to come here and help out a hooker? You don't look like you normally go around helping people out especially in a school outfit hanging out in a not-so-subtle part of town."

Rin couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"No, I definitely don't do what I just did, but you looked like you could use the help. No hard feelings, but I was really looking for a place when I saw what happened to you."

Again, she took a puff and tried to get a better look at the card Rin had been holding.

"I tried to find this place to meet a…friend…and I think I'm lost."

As quickly as Rin looked down the card was out of her hands and in those of the older woman.

"It's the same place I'm heading to now. But could I ask what you want with an Oyabun?"

Rin was not sure how to answer her. Should she give her the whole story, part of it or none at all? She might as well try and be trustworthy to someone other than her boyfriend, plus she probably wouldn't be seeing this woman again.

"I have to speak with him about a few things. And you?"

"Gotta tell him what just happened. By the way my name is Yumi."

For the first time Rin had talked to someone willingly and tried to be nice without fear of them pissing her off at a later date or making fun of her. Too bad the plausible relationship wouldn't last. They were indeed different, but maybe they might see one another every once and a while? Wow, having hopes of seeing another human…that had never happened before.

"Rin."

With that said Yumi had her follow as they walked through the streets and took several lefts and rights. Also, many looks and propositions later they stopped in front of a building with a large wooden hanging sign with the characters of Hisayuki written in bold black. They entered the club type setting, but this one was a bit different because there was loud music and lots of lights, but everyone seemed a bit more relaxed even if there were girls dressed in tiny outfits serving drinks with their cleavage about to explode out of the tiny tops they were wearing. Men leered at the woman in front of her, but she had clear business with the proprietor and took in none of them. Rin, on the other hand needed to follow close behind so as not to get lost. The old man she met at the party sure wasn't what she expected. She knew of these things with the sec trade and yakuza and she had never seen it, though at least now she could say to herself that she was gaining a bit more knowledge about the society itself.

Then they came to a wooden door down a small corridor just past the restrooms of the small club and the older woman knocked. She was then sized up by a large and menacing older male who noticed her and let her through, but Rin was sized up and asked what she was doing there with the woman and if she was inquiring about a position.

"No, I just needed to speak with-"

"No one speaks with Mr. Hisayuki without going through me."

"I just wanted to-"

The man glared down at her for a few seconds before she turned around with her head down and walked off. Fucking men, sometimes she wanted to kick them all between the legs. She decided to go into the restroom, which was rather nice and looked at herself in the mirror. He had asked if she wanted a job…could she really be a hooker. Honestly when she looked in the mirror she didn't see anything but a plain girl, but it kind of felt nice to be noticed even if for such an unconventional proposition. Slowly she peeked out of the bathroom and noticed that the man was still standing guard and that the older woman must have left already. Hell, she might as well make a scene and show him she meant business. Sure, she could get killed but this was crucial to her finding out about her father and this guy was not going to get in the way of that. Sure, it could just be her barely there mind working overtime though she doubted it. At the moment she very lucid and very pissed. Walking up to him she decided to give it one last try.

"Get out of my way I need to see Taka."

At that instant she was given the deadliest glare she had ever received. He had to bend down to get a look at her eyes. Trying to intimidate her was not working. She's seen worse in the contents of her dreams so this large male was no problem.

"No one calls him by his first name, bitch. So back up and take a hike before I make you."

Openly she scoffed at him and his mention of her with vibrant names mad her want to kill him.

"Excuse me, but Hisayuki knows me and even though I do not have an appointment and you don't recognize me I suggest you let me in. I have no business with you, just him."

Trying to go around him was not working because every time she took a step he would step right in her way and block her.

"Move asshole!"

"You better watch what you're saying."

Before she had time to register what was going on he had grabbed her arm and was now dragging her down the hall and trying to keep her flailing body in check while he walked. Everything she could think of to get herself in that room she did. She screamed, kicked, hit, and even stomped on his foot to get him to let her go. Nothing worked. Then, as they were about to the end of the long hall a man she recognized came walking out and seeing her position his eyes widened and he yelled at the man who held her.

"I suggest you let go of Yamaguchi Oyabun's daughter-in-law right now before I offer you up to him for abuse against one of his own, Hiro."

Without even turning around the man, she watched, physically paled and dropped her unceremoniously onto the hard floor. Then, he received the worst news of his life she supposed.

"By the way you are fired for that little stunt. Visit the kaikei for your week's salary. I hope to never see you around here again or you will suffer for it. Good day."

Then after he cleared his throat a bit he waved to Rin to walk back to him and come into the room. At that time another man came back down the hall, passed her, and stood with his arms crossed in front of him by the door.

"Come Rin, let's go into my office."

So, she followed the older man and couldn't help but smile at the new man in front of the door. He was clean shaven, tall, and a bit muscular and had his neck tattooed. He had beautiful green eyes and a strong face and noticed it was the same guy with Taka at the Yubitsume ceremony. To say he was attractive was an understatement. To her own surprise he smiled back at her and winked too. She ignored the second part and rolled her eyes, which caused a rich laugh to emit from him. The whole while Taka was inside slowly walking to his desk and as soon as she was inside the gentleman outside closed the door behind her. There she sat for a few silent seconds in the nicely carved wooden chair and awaited the Oyabun to make the first move.

"Sorry about my doorman. We have had problems with him in the past, but it took his rude and outrageous behavior against you, a higher yakuza associate, to get him fired. Do not worry. I will tell Giro that you are to be allowed audience with me if I am not busy."

She smiled at him.

"It's alright; I have had to deal with worse. Thank you though."

He gave her another wiry grin, which was the same one she had been given at the dinner party month's ago when he was about to ask her if he could come to her and Sesshomaru's wedding. He was up to something and she mentally prepared herself for it.

"Though I do not believe I will have to notify Giro, he seems to be interested in you enough to remember. A shame you are still with Sesshomaru, my nephew is a good man."

Rin chuckled a bit.

"Yes, I suppose he is. However, Sesshomaru and I are still together."

He was looking into a manila folder at something when he spoke next.

"This is certainly an unexpected visit. I doubt you came here to talk nonsense and romance with an older man like me, so why are you here young Rin?"

It was hard for her to ask a favor of someone she barely knew and this she told him, but he waved it off with a hand and had her continue.

"I am friends with dear Inutaisho and I am sure he would like me to help you in any way I can. It does seem that you want to keep this meeting a secret I suppose?"

Shaking her head in affirmation she looked back up to him.

"Yes, please. They would never have let me come here either of them: Sesshomaru or Inutaisho Oyabun. It is not that I don't trust them, its just that I need to do some things on my own."

"Go ahead then, child."

If she didn't do this she might never know about her father. Definitely, this man in front of her with his connections and older age would remember and know how to get information about anyone. He would have to help her or she would be at a loss. After all, the only things she had pertaining to her father were her memories. The only pictures that survived were the ones of her father when he was younger and his wedding day photo with Rin's mother. She didn't want to risk loosing them, so she put them away under a box in her bedroom to keep them from getting ruined or lost. It was the only thing she had of them and she wanted to keep it. Of her brother there was nothing but his picture in the morning paper, which she had clipped out, when he had been a notification for death. The rest of her life's story was contained in her memories and even those were fading with time and the wear and tear of her mentally illnesses. Without noticing she had wondered off in her head and looked to find an expectant older gentleman waiting to hear her speak. Brushing off the mental break she began to speak. She was asking for help and it was okay.

"Without going into my whole life's story I just wanted to ask something of you if I could. When I was young someone came into our home and killed both of my parents and my older brother. I was hiding under the bed and luckily wasn't found by the intruders. I remember my brother saying something about our father and I wanted to know if you could find some information for me. I figured since you work for and with intelligence that I, a civilian, would not be able to get my hands on that you might find something."

He looked thoughtful for a moment as if he was thinking it over. He even began rubbing his chin for added effect. She had no idea what was going on, but she did hope that he would agree to help her.

"So, you wish to know if your father was who he claimed to be to you and your family correct?"

Only a simple nod was given as her answer.

"Name?"

"His name was-"

She had been looking around the desk as she thought of what he would say to her and something in particular caught her eye. It was a simple photo, but she just knew it had to be a clue. There on his desk was a photo of two younger gentlemen. One was clearly a younger Misayaki and the other…looked to be her father. Quickly she grabbed the picture from his desk and turned it to point at the other man in the photo.

"Who is this? What is this man's name?"

The older man had to take the picture from her and peered closely at it. Then, he smiled as if remembering what events had led up to the photo. They were shaking hands and smiling at one another and both were dressed in dark suits with brightly colored ties.

"Ahhh this was a good friend of mine. This photo was taken many a year ago. We were both so young then. The man in this photo was named Yuji Sumiyoshi; he was part of the Yamaguchi-gumi's rivals. Though he was related to the leader (at the time of the photo) as a first cousin, he made himself quite known in the yakuza underground until his death around ten years ago I suppose it would be. Good man. Why do you ask of him child?"

Without answering him she grabbed the school bag she had been carrying with her and quickly bowed over and over to thank him. She was on to something more and she needed to leave to let it all sink in. Making it to the door she heard him call after her and ask what was wrong, but she did nothing to reply. Rin just ran as fast as she could out of the building not from fear but overwhelming excitement that she was finally on to something here.

* * *

Watching the young girl flee he couldn't help but shake his head in amusement. Then, after pushing his papers aside he slowly stood up and looked out his window as she ran across the streets of his neighborhood and smiles. Without noticing his doorman came in and watched her along with him.

"She is very interesting isn't she, Sir?"

"Very much so, although you would do well to steer clear of looking at her longingly in the future."

A sneer came from the young man's lips.

"And why is that?"

Without thinking the Oyabun closed the blinds on the window and looked over at the poor child before him. Sure, he was a man but the way he had looked at Rin suggested that he wanted to get-together with her and that simply could not happen. Placing a kind and gentle hand on the boy's shoulder he offered him a bit of comfort from the words that he would speak next.

"Because boy, she belongs to Yamaguchi Sesshomaru."

The kid looked shocked for a bit.

"No shit?"

* * *

That night she lay awake thinking about what she had found out that very day. She never thought she would get this lucky this soon and she was not about to jinx it. Sure, she wanted to tell Sesshomaru, but right now was not a good time. He had his own things to do and she was not about to put this on him as well. After all, she wanted to get more information on her father and only then would she tell him about what she had found out. Wow, she had found something out that she could follow up on. She knew the man in that picture. It was hard to recall some events that had happened because of her conditions, but that man in the picture had prompted her memory to release at least one small truth to her: she remembered him.

Her father had invited him into the home after she answered the door and starred at the man because he was not familiar to her. Her father came up behind her, greeted the man and told him to come in. According to Oyabun Hisayaki the man's name was Yuji Sumiyoshi of the Sumiyoshi-rengo group. So, that day when he smiled down at her she hid behind her father's pant leg trying to get out of the man's line of sight. They both laughed at her reaction, but then her brother came in and jumped into the man's arms yelling "Uncle". Rin didn't understand because she was around five years old, she figured, and he didn't look a thing like her father, so her brother must have been confused. The moment she caught sight of the man in the picture she knew it was the very same one who had come to her home those years ago. So, he was killed too? But why?

There had to be a connection between her and this mysterious man that used to visit her family all those years ago, she just needed to find out what that link between them was. Not realizing that she had zoned out she was brought back to reality by her grandmother coming home. She had gone to be early and had expected to be asleep by now, but the recent developments in her life's story kept her up. Turning over to her side she noticed a picture that she had with Sesshomaru and she laughed out loud a bit. The whole time she was mad at him, she never turned it face down. Sure, she had been really pissed at him, but if she had noticed this seemingly minute detail she would have realized then that she was not about to let him go for even a second. Odd how the subconscious worked even in the mind of a fucked up individual and hers looked to be laughing at her right now, though she found it funny as well and laughed along with it. She was not completely over what he had done, but it was forgivable and she would push through it to get back to the way they had been. It would take time and that Friday she was to come home with him for the weekly dinner she had at Sesshomaru's house and that would be a good instance to see how much she was willing to let him get away with before she told him no.

Finally the day had ended and she had headed out to her locker to put her things away. Sighing and letting her shoulders slacken from not having to carry a lot of books home this weekend made her want to jump for joy, if she wasn't so worried about what was to happen that night at dinner. Sure, they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but she had not even let him kiss her since their big blowout and she wasn't sure she wanted to just yet. There relationship was not juvenile by any means because once a demon chose someone they had to stay with them unless the partner wanted no part in it. So, essentially, she was to be with him forever unless she decided that she wanted out before he mated them for good. Therefore, their relationship could not be treated like those of her peers.

Her thoughts caused her to look around at all of the other couples laughing, holding hands and being able to hang around others the same sex as them. These girls had privacy to see who they wanted and see their guys friends, but Rin didn't have that liberty. Sure, the guy at Misayaki's seemed like a nice guy but she would never be able to talk to him without Sesshomaru jumping down the kid's throat. He was protective and she understood why, it was just knowing that she had the liberty to talk to someone without the demon getting pissed about it would have been nice. She felt for him, really, but sometimes she just wanted him to trust her enough and that was one of the reasons for the fight. It was possible that one day he would get the point, but it wasn't likely. The demon may have heightened senses, though his fault was not having relationship smarts. All of those thoughts ceased when she felt a presence behind her and knew who the towering shadow belonged to. He was to take her home, let her complete what little homework she had to do over the coming days and then pick her up for the evening meal at his house. So, turning around she gave him a smiled (though forced) and walked with him as he asked her how her day had gone.

Now, here she sat between BOTH of the brothers and looking past Kagome who had been told to sit in front of Inuyasha rather than beside him. After all she had known about how the relationship between them was going, she had not been told about it until they had been dating already for a couple of days. She sat chatting up Inuyasha who was barely listening since he was so focused on the food in front of him, though she acted as if she was used to it and she probably was. Izayoi was speaking candidly with Kagome (like she had not done for Rin when she first started dating Sesshomaru, figures) while Inutaisho and Sesshomaru spoke lowly between each other and probably about business they wanted no one else to know; 'business' talk. And Rin, silent per usual, looked around her at all of the smiling faces (minus Sesshomaru) and felt a bit out of place. Her family was all buried in the local cemetery and looking around now she felt discomfort. They all fought but at the end of the day they cared about one another. Sure she knew her grandmother cared, but she wasn't there to hear the Rin's problems or help her with a school subject. The older lady would rather spend it in silence at the temple or talking with her own friends. Could she really fit in here? She was broken mentally and physically, so did this family need another burden and especially one with a 'fragile mind set'?

The answer to that question was a clear no and then she felt a hand placed on the small of her back from the gap in the back of her chair and looked over towards Sesshomaru's place next to her and found him looking worriedly down at her. So, to appease him she smiled, said the food was good and went back to looking at her own plate instead of the happiness surrounding her. It wasn't that she didn't want the happiness to affect her, it was just that she did not want to ruin their family ties. Was she good enough? All of these things she decided to ask Sesshomaru later as for right now she would do well to stay to herself until they could be alone to talk things over. And talk they did even though she was somewhat nervous about what was happening. What if someone came in and saw her…scars. He was the only one who knew what had happened to her under that bed when she was young and she had suffered a few noticeable scrapes that had never healed perfectly.

They had decided that since they had some free time after dinner it would be a good idea to go to the indoor pool. It was more Sesshomaru's idea since he enjoyed relaxing (as relaxed as he could get) with either a shower or a swim. Most of the time he swam in the middle of the night when he grew tired of looking at the ceiling while she was asleep, but he suggested that they both go and she was admittedly nervous about it. It was not like he hadn't seen all of her scars before it was more of the fact that both Inuyasha and Kagome, plus the parents were still there and she didn't need someone walking in and seeing them. She shared them with Sesshomaru and him alone and that' how it was going to stay. They scored across her back from the left flank up and across to the right at the space between her right hip bone and her shoulder blade. It took the longest to heal there because of all of the soft tissue and it was still a bit ugly even with the years that had past. The whole of both scars were healed, though still pink and raised across her skin. She had told him how she acquired them from the time when she slid under the bed to hide herself; some of the springs on the underside of her bed had come loose and poked through the mattress and when she had slid under they caught her. Of course, she didn't notice at the time because she was in fear for her life and trying not to cough from the all of the smoke. They were physical reminders of what she had gone through and she did not need another person asking and whispering about how she received them.

Now she sat at the side of the pool with her legs dipped in wearing a brown bikini with white polka dots. For some reason he liked her to wear fall colors and he also had a thing for dots since he loved her white dotted green underwear. To look at him always dressed in black and killing you wouldn't think a man such as him would be into polka dots, but he was when she wore them. It made her unwittingly smile, but it faded when she watched her feet swish the water back and forth. He had told her she looked nice and it still didn't change the fact that no one could see the bathing suit because of the orange towel she draped herself in. What, she could be self conscious about her body like every other girl right? Looking up when she heard him not swimming anymore she found the demon staring at her intently. He obviously could not have missed the orange blob of fabric she hid herself under and she knew he would be pissed about it, but she did it anyway and wasn't surprised when he swam over to her. Even in water he looked menacing and even when his long silver hair was in a tie at the nape of his neck he looked like he owned the world. She asked him something she found candid when he swam over and grabbed her calves to keep her legs from moving.

"Is there ever a time when you look like you don't own the world?"

A dark smirk lit his face as he answered her.

"When I am fucking you."

To be honest she was quite expected that blunt of an answer and retaliated in kind.

"Pervert!"

With that said she took her leg out of his hand and pushed him in the shoulder with her foot and watched as he was slightly tipped back a few inches. All the while this was happening he laughed quietly at her expense which made her angrier. Her reaction didn't hold him off for long because he came next to her and placed his arms on the lip of the pool and stared up at her incredulously.

"Just being truthful. Now, why are you not in here with me and why are you wearing that hideous orange towel?"

She could not help but look away from him and somehow he knew what was wrong…like he always did.

"In addition to seeing everything you have to offer, I have also kissed, licked, and touched every inch of your body so why hide it?"

It took her a while to answer him.

"I just don't want anyone walking in here and seeing them."

"You will be fine. Come, I am actually up to doing something you call 'fun'. Join me and I will finally let you hear that song I have been working on."

"Really?"

When she had given him the new guitar for a Christmas gift she figured he was working on something, though he never told her what it was. He had kept telling her that he would show it to her one day, but recent events had gotten in the way and he never seemed to have time to finish it up. Obviously he had time because if he wasn't lying then he was done and _would_ show her. She just needed to find it in her to not fear that someone would barge in and find those pink, puckered memories. Again he came up to her and she slowly let go of her grip on the towel and let him take it off and place it at the side of the pool.

"There we are Rin. I must say that I enjoy this view much more than that abhorred orange thing. A much better view, lovely."

She had only one thing to say to him.

"You better show me that song."

He never relied to her. He simply picked her up by her sides with his large, rough hands and gently placed her into the water. She could not help but let out a slight breath when her body tried to acclimate to the colder temperature of the water around her and this elicited yet another small smile from him. At least he was not being an ass or something. He was being courteous to her and kind, which everyone else but her was hard-pressed to get out of a demon such as Sesshomaru. So that evening they spent time in the water which she messed around, he would not find funny, she would laugh and then get picked up and lightly tossed into the water. Then, she would retaliate with getting mad and splashing him and it was in the middle of this fun they were having that they heard someone coming in through the closed doors to the room. She had her back to them and just as Kagome and Inuyasha were coming in he turned them both around to switch their places so that her back could not be seen. Quietly she thanked him before he graced her with a kiss, which was when Inuyasha decided to speak and out came his obsessive and disrespecting mouth. Great, now he wanted to impress a girl he had been going out with. But she was too focused on the lips connected with hers to care much about what shit Inuyasha had to say. Obviously though it had gotten to Sesshomaru because he had started growling and disconnected from her to speak to his step-brother.

"Hey, you two need to quit sucking face and let us have the pool now."

She quickly detached from Sesshomaru and poked her head around his large arm to watch as Inuyasha elicited a yelp when Kagome elbowed him in the side. The younger girl smiled warmly at Rin and at least tried to make up for what her own boyfriend had done. Rin moved back in front of Sesshomaru and looked up at him only to find his pissed off face while in the background Inuyasha was bitching to Kagome and hitting him or something like that. All Rin was focused on was getting her own boyfriend to calm down and help them out of this situation before Iunyasha was found face up in the pool the next morning.

"Calm down he's just being an ass like usual."

A small growl elicited from him and she had to find some way to calm him, so her hand began to rub the planes of his chest. Luckily it worked and a contented growl came out instead of a threatening one. She ducked down a bit in the water as he swam over to get her towel from across the pool. Kagome and Inuyasha had stopped arguing because Rin noticed how unsubtle it was that the only reason Kagome had stopped yelling was because Inuyasha had taken his shirt off. Obviously Kagome could have enjoyed his personality the most. Still, Rin stayed ducked down into the water until the older demon came back to her with the orange towel with which he placed on the side of the pool and picked her up and sat her on the edge as well. There was no helping Kagome eyeing him and Rin was not one to get overly jealous because she had nothing to fear from the young girl. Rapidly he placed the towel around her and then hauled himself up and out of the water to sit beside of her. As Inuyasha dove in Kagome had taken her towel off and left Inuyasha speechless; the girl did look lovely in the emerald green one piece outfit. Not once did Sesshomaru look back to see her and not once did he care what it was those two were doing in front of him as he had turned to rub the towel on her shoulders and back to get her dry. She knew that he cared for her, though to see him not react to any other woman was a pleasant thought to have. Just like the woman at that restaurant those many months ago, he had offers, but he didn't heed any of them.

Deciding that it was time to get into some warm clothes (since the temperature difference was prompt) she got up with the towel still around her mid-section and began walking around the edge to the doors that led outside. If she had been paying any attention she would have heard the light footsteps, however she had not and the consequence was that she was quickly picked up and slung over a muscled shoulder much like a sack of rice while she laughed and smiled. She may have been nervous before and now her nervousness was gone and she was walked out of the place looking at the faces of Kagome and Inuyasha as they stared oddly at Sesshomaru's uncanny behavior. It was nice having such a serious demon around and looking on as others watched his 'odd' behaviors and knowing the while that these particular occurrences happened a few times when she was around. The girl had just been set down when she watched him replace his trunks with a simple pair of cargo pants and a tight white T-shirt and she had to divulge that the male in front of her did look quite nice in any outfit it seemed. Taking her eyes away from the bathroom that he had just walked into, she found her own change of clothes: a minimal button up white top with small pink stripes and a pair of jean shorts to go with it.

It wasn't that she never noticed his eyes on her every move it was that she didn't mind much. In the end he had mentioned that he knew every inch of her body as well as she knew his own, so it never mattered. They had been seeing one another for years and truth be told she kind of enjoyed him looking at her because every time he did it showed that he still loved looking at her as much as she loved looking at him. He pulled away from the bathroom door that he had been looking around to watch her undress and found her painting her toenails. One foot was propped up on the edge of the bed she was sitting on and the other was finished and on the floor. She smiled when she saw his nose wrinkle from the smell.

"I know you hate it because it's so strong, but I love this deep red."

She was playing with the edge of her thoughts like she always did when she felt the bed sink in next to her. She had started blowing on them and stopped when she took notice to nothing happening around her. So, she looked behind her and found him with his eyes closed, arms crossing his chest and even breaths coming from him. His biceps were noticeable with the tight shirt he was wearing and just looking at him she felt small and safe. Compared to him she was small and delicate, though that just happened to be one of the things she liked most about their arrangement. As soon as her nails were done drying she twisted the cap back on, sat it on his dresser and climbed into bed next to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder as she closed her eyes. The air in the room felt comfortable, even the slight chilly breeze that raced up her legs from the open window in his room where the curtains swayed with a slight breeze. This moment was perfection made even better when he grabbed her hand placed it on his chest and covered it with his own again.

The utter contrast in her blood red nails and his pale skin was simply amazing. It was a contrast that worked for the better because he was the real man with blood on his hands, not just portraying it with a little bit of coloring. To feel this sane in a single moment was blissful and all it took was a single moment in time for someone to realize that she was worth something; to tell her that they would help her and make her life worthwhile. That one individual came in the form of a killer who cared for no one's well-being but her own and this individual was the light in her world (real and fantasy). With this thought she closed her eyes, breathed deeply, took in his scent and committed this 'view' to memory and spoke softly to him.

"Out of all the memories I will ever conceive, this is one the want to keep forever. This, out of all I have and will ever have, is what I want to remember even if I relapse and forget. I want this _one_ to recall whenever I wish."

She didn't expect and answer and was not surprised when she had not received one. At the end of the day, no matter how much he cared, he was a bit private about his emotions and more so than her. She understood this about him much like everything else between them. However, she knew he had heard her and understood her because his arm that was trapped between their bodies came up and behind her to land on her lower back. She heard the sway of a gentle breeze next to one of the windows to his room, breathed it in like she had previously done and knew that both of their eyes were closed as they listened intently to the sounds around them. She was sure he could hear what was being said by the others in the house, but he looked to be ignoring it and not even a growl came from him. Just like her he was cherishing this moment and remembering all of the others that were good between them. The life she had been brought into was not assured, but by god she was not about to lose it easily. Rin wanted more times like this and she would fight tooth and nail to keep them in her future no matter who she was up against.

Waking to silence was quite nice and this was what she found when her eyes opened after a slight nap alongside a warm body. Remembering that he was next to her she found him still with his eyes closed, though she was not entirely sure that he was still or had ever been asleep. Sitting up, she stretched a bit and then gently slid out of his arms to walk down into the kitchen to get herself a bit of a snack. She knew Inuyasha took to hiding ice cream whenever his mother bought it for him, but he didn't count on Rin knowing its hiding spot behind the two stacks of frozen snow peas. What a dumbass. Promptly, she scooped some out into a bowl and sat down with spoon in hand to at in privacy. She would not be receiving her privacy because in that instant Kagome came walking in with wet hair and with her bikini still on. Taking only slight notice to the girl other than herself in the room Rin focused, again, on her mid-day-desert until Kagome decided to speak to her. They had not talked much except for when they had met at the coffee shoppe and it wasn't that Rin disliked the girl, it was just that she had known the family longer than Kagome and she _still_ didn't take well to them, so definitely Kagome would not be entering the 'to be trusted' circle. She looked thoughtful about her question and those types of questions were the worst one's because they suggested that the person was taking into consideration _every bad reaction_ along with al of the good ones. Nice, another personal question…why not?

" Hey Rin, do you mind if I ask you a question?

She didn't wait for an answer before she started asking.

"Are you ever afraid of Sesshomaru?"

Where had that come from? Obviously Inuyasha STILL had not explained the situation to the poor girl. Damn him and his stupid mutt brain. The girl he was dating needed to know that his family was part of a crime syndicate. Well, if Inuyasha was not about to tell her than Rin would plant a seed in the girl's head and it would need to be answered. At least her boyfriend did not fight with the fact that he didn't want his girlfriend knowing that he killed people. The father and step-brother had/did not Inuyasha, so that was one thing this girl would not have to worry about. So, smiling at the fault of Inuyasha's ignorance she took another bite of her frozen treat and then spoke.

"You have a question that _should_ have been explained by Inuyasha a few days after you had started dating but he has held off on it for some reason or another. I should be afraid of Sesshomaru for obvious reasons, though I'm sure you have heard rumors. I said you should not trust them, but there are true ones out there. I don't, however, fear him because we understand one another and I have immense feelings for him; I have nothing to fear from him. My boyfriend kills people for a living, though you need to ask Inuyasha if you want to know more. I am going to relax a bit."

The girl stood there dumbfounded and a little freaked out. If that didn't steer the girl from making eye contact with Sesshomaru, then she didn't know what would. Not only was Kagome weary of the demon Prince, she would be even more so now. The only reason she had been so literal about the fact was because Inuyasha knew how important it was to tell her and he neglected to do so. The girl deserved to make her own choice much like Rin had. So, before she left the room after putting her bowl in the sink, she looked at the stunned face and tried to add a bit of hope to the girl's heart.

"Do not fear though, Inuyasha refuses the 'family business' and he always has. Just remember that the decision you make affirms your possibility of being a girlfriend to him. If you want him you have to learn to accept what the rest of his family is like and what they do when they are not in the home. Just know that the only affiliation he has is that he is son to Yamaguchi, not a worker. I'm sure you noticed the similarity in the last name, no?"

With that she left the girl. Sure it was brash, but it needed to be done. She found herself on the patio of the home and watched the angry clouds roll in from the south. More rain was to come and she was sure it would not be a nice one. Another hurricane was rolling in she had to suppose. The breeze picked up a bit and grasped at her clothes much like the first winter breath grips exposed fingers and toes. She sat down in a carved wooden chair and drew her knees into her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Sure, she was cold, but she was not about to go back in just yet because was not going to face Inuyasha when he started yelling, and speak of the devil he could hear them screaming at one another before she heard them both leave. They would settle it and even if Inuyasha was mad at her when he came back he would thank her years from now because she knew that the girl would stay with Inuyasha; she was a keeper and Rin admired her kind personality, though she didn't want to always talk to the girl.

Grinning to herself she continued to keep her eye on the clouds, find shapes and feel the warm breeze blowing in the dark weather. Then, to go along with the dark clouds her thoughts started to turn bitter as well. She had never before doubted her place in Sesshomaru's world (as she called it). Would they be able to make it? Would one of them not be there in a few years due to unfortunate events? He had always told her that his life was always on a time table and she wanted to believe that they would be together, alive and well for a while, but now that she was thinking about things it confused her. Kagome's words suggested that Rin be afraid of Sesshomaru, but she wasn't afraid of him she was only afraid of the fact that the next time he went off to perform a duty for his father, that he wouldn't be coming back. She never had feared her own death nevertheless she did fear his. What would she do without someone who could understand her and someone who would help her out of her regressions? What would she do without him, period? Then, as her thoughts grew dimmer she felt an arm around her shoulder and a rough voice spoke to her.

"There she is."

She took no notice to him and continued to do as she had done before. Still no notice was taken and suddenly she felt his hand on her own and finally looked up. She found a spark light in the distant corners of his eyes and a smile began to find its road to her lips. He took her over to the elongated chair near the other side of the patio and sat her down before taking a seat next to her and propping his bare feet upon the crisp white railing that was a few feet in front of them. A relaxed Sesshomaru was hard to come by but at the moment it was as relaxed as he was going to get because he had brought with him his guitar. Leaning the neck against the chair they both sat in, he breathed deeply before looking over at her.

"The weather is going to get worse I see."

Rin could do nothing but nod her head and agree. She watched as he took out a pack of cigarettes from one of the pockets in his pants, took one out, lit it and breathed in deeply before speaking.

"I suppose you had something to do with my rude awakening of Inuyasha yelling that father and I were yakuza and not him?"

She did nothing but nod and smile a bit.

"You should have let my step-brother tell her on his terms."

This angered her a bit, so she rewarded him with an angered reply.

"He was not going to tell her. He was afraid she would not like him anymore and would leave, however he has nothing to fear. That girl has been in love with him since before he noticed her, she'll forgive his transgression. After all, it is a very important aspect of your family. She needed to know and heavens knows Inuyasha was not about to say a damn word."

With that it was quiet for a while, after he had put out his cigarette, until she heard him pick out a few notes on his guitar. Looking over at him she admired the markings on the tops of his feet. The irezumi were something that covered most of the body and sometimes the feet were no exception. For Sesshomaru the characters for strength and accuracy were needled into his skin, one on each foot with a traditional Japanese style background of swishes and clouds that could be added to the marking he would get later in his life on his legs. She loved every one of them because they showed who he was and what he had done not only for his yakuza affiliation, but also for the qualities he possessed as a demon. Then, she began to hear the song she had waited to hear for a while now and it was a good one too. Although, nothing he could do had any air of bad judgment except for the most recent incident.

Okay, so with that he needed to be forgiven. Though he would not be getting any sex for a few more days she figured for his beautiful song she should give him something in return. Decidedly, she gently grabbed his guitar and placed it next to her before sitting up next to him on her knees and whispered into his ear how much she enjoyed the song.

"I love the song; seriously, you should share that talent you know! You deserve so much more than a psycho girlfriend, but I do the best I can to keep you."

Though normally to others, those would not be endearing words. To her they meant the most. Maybe both of them deserved a bit better, but that had nothing to do with this moment because she loved him more than anything she ever had. With that she pulled him into her and kissed him passionately as a thank you for the song and for understanding her for as long as he had. The thunder pained her chest because she knew that he would be leaving in a week or two to seek out a new venture, but for right now as the lightening passed by her closed eyelids as he grabbed her behind and sat her on his lap, she felt nothing but their lips connecting again and again.

* * *

Inuyasha had somehow gotten her to agree to listen to him and the more she (reluctantly) listened the more she found that she didn't care who he was or what his family did. She truly loved him and he needed to know that. Sure, they had been dating for a few weeks but she felt such a connection with him and now he had made her come back to his home to stay a bit longer and maybe ask for the help of his step-brother to explain things. Knowing that a man she already felt weary about killed people and had a nice and normal everyday life was a bit hard to swallow. However, the girl he dated seemed to not mind, so if Rin could get used to it, then maybe she could as well. Though she was happy that Inuyasha wanted nothing to do with the yakuza now, it made it harder for Kagome to think about acting normal in front of people like Inutaisho and Sesshomaru because they obviously had different paths in life besides Inuyasha and her; those could potentially hurt her.

Now all of those thoughts were eliminated because she had followed Inuyasha and his nose to where Sesshomaru was supposed to be and found something she never expected. She had no idea that the angry looking demon had a soft side and this soft side seemed to only come out with Rin around. He was singing a lovely song to her and as she listened she found that they were what she wanted with Inuyasha (without the killing). Speaking as quietly as she could while she watched him play on, she whispered to the half-demon next to her.

"So, all of that stuff Rin said to me when we first met was a lie? You know, about her parents not liking Sesshomaru and all? That was to save me from knowing the truth about your family?"

Her boyfriend could only scratch the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Uh, yeah. We had not known one another very well and I just didn't want to scare you off or anything, so I kept it from you."

Sighing she gave him a smile because she was now aware of why he would keep something like that at bay. Things needed to be kept in close with those to be trusted, not to be shared with just anyone.

"She doesn't have parents; she has a grandmother that she lives with. When she was young people came to her home and killed them. From what I've learned they had come for her to, but they were interrupted by police. I haven't figured out _why_ they came to kill her though."

Goodness, she knew the girl was a bit on the harsh side and now she understood why.

"That's so sad Inuyasha."

"Yeah and because of it she's had…problems ever since."

Shaking her head so he would not have to explain she told him about her encounter months ago where Rin talked about her mental illness.

"She told me and now I can ultimately understand why. A little girl, that young going through those things must have been terrible. I don't know what I would do if something like that happened to my mother and brother. No wonder she fids comfort in someone like Sesshomaru."

She thought Sesshomaru couldn't hear, but as the scene got more intimate and as Kagome spoke to Inuyasha, she noticed Sesshomaru's ear twitch a bit at her words.

"They really love one another don't they?"

All she received was a simple yet valid answer. It wasn't rude, condescending, or sarcastic as she would expect it to be because it regarded Inuyasha's brother, but it was none of those things. At the very least Inuyasha spoke the truth without being asked to.

"Yeah, they do."

* * *

A/N: You like? Tell me what ya think about the whole dad mysterious situation so far…good or bad? Anyway review like always and I'll write more! Yes, I realize my updates are few and (very) far vetween, but I do have another life and classes, so this gets worked on last in the list of things that I need to do. Sorry, everyone. I'll finish it, don't worry.

**Kai kei**- accountant(s) for a yakuza group


	11. Partition

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 10:_

_Partition_

A/N: Nothing much to say here except we get to finally find out a bit more on Rin's father, so that should prove to be interesting enough. If that isn't though, then we get to see more Sess and Rin YAY! And finally something major happens that turns everything up-side down and we investigate a fraction into the 'odd' guy who looked in on Rin in ch.5. Okay, so he's not mentioned exactly, but the man mentioned has _something_ to do with creepy stalker guy. With all that said let's get this bitch started eh?

Yes, sorry about the extremely LONG wait. But I do have a life to attend to. Don't worry, I haven't given up yet. Still have a few chapters left in this one until the end! :-)

* * *

**There** was a given impression of the young woman who now looked down at her own hands and wondered: if the thoughts of who her father was, happened to be false, then would she still be the same person she is now? Would she still be sitting in front of her bedroom mirror wondering if she would look or act any different than she did? Was is possible that she could have turned even more complex in her head if she were to learn something new about her father; about him not being a good father and husband. Never had she met anyone except the 'uncle' who had come over occasionally to speak with her father, visit with her older brother, unintentionally scare her and then leave. So, did that mean that there was an entire family out there that didn't know they had grandchildren or nieces? Her father spoke little of his childhood when she would ask him about her other grandmother and grandfather whom she had never met. The only other family living (that she knew of) was her mother's mother, the grandmother she stayed with now.

All of these thoughts seemed to culminate into one big partition between her and Sesshomaru. How could she spend the rest of her life with him if she had no idea who she was and where she came from? If everything about her father was a lie, then what had he really been like under the kind smiles and boisterous laughter? More and more thoughts and ideas flooded her head like a broken dam. Not knowing who she was made her want to find out, so that when the time came there would be nothing to stand between her and Sesshomaru making more steps for a permanent outlook on their relationship. Making up her mind to find out everything she could, she stepped away from the mirror and sat down upon her bed to think of a way to get information. Obviously going to Oyabun Taka had not given her any information, so now she would have to find things for herself. Since her supposed 'uncle' was a yakuza member then she would start there. One problem: she was not allowed near the yakuza documents on the last bookshelf in the back of the Yamaguchi library/Oyabun Taisho's study.

That night as she lie awake in her bedroom she waited for an idea to come to her. The next time she looked at the clock near her bed it was already one o'clock in the morning and she needed her rest. After all, Sesshomaru was not going to be there at school tomorrow because he had a meeting with Oyabun Taka about something to do with shipments. Suddenly as quickly as she had no ideas, she gained one. Inutaisho and Izayoi were going shopping, Inuyasha would be out with his girlfriend and Sesshomaru would be out of the house for a few hours. That left her enough time to get over there and look through what she needed to find. The plan was perfect and the only flaw was that they would know she had been in the library while they were gone and she would surely catch hell for it later. However, later could wait until then because she had questions that needed to be answered and nothing would be getting in the way of that.

So, the next day she called the home around five o'clock in the evening to make sure that no one was there to answer the phone. She figured that she would have at least an hour before Inutaisho became tired of Izayoi dragging him to look at this and that. Now though she had one priority and that was to find what she needed and get the hell out of there before anyone saw her. Sure they would find her scent, but if she lingered only a bit it wouldn't be as strong as if she were to take hours looking around. Though she had no idea as to how the filing system was for the documents she knew she needed to find it quickly, gather as much information as she could and get the hell out. Telling her grandmother that she was going out to get a few things from the store and to not wait up for her (not like she would) Rin headed out the front door an old bike she had. It was her mother's and she loved it, but most of the time Sesshomaru drove her and she had no use for it, but today was a nice and sunny day before the hurricane was to blow in from the south. It had been raining a lot lately and the weather forecasted it to get even worse, though for today it was to be a good day and she took advantage of it.

As she guided her white bicycle to a stop in front of the expansive home she took out her own key and opened the door. Quickly and without hesitation she made sure no one was there and headed up to the one place she had been forbidden to go. And as she opened the study doors she felt a heavy weight on her shoulders. She was not allowed to be where she was headed and she knew and the guilt kicked in. She was doing this for the best though and she pushed on and headed towards the back of the rows of books. Now, she looked up at the towering shelves in front of her and paled and bit. The good thing was that they were all filed by time periods…the bad thing was that she had no idea what time period her 'uncle' had occupied. Well, she thought back to her memories of the few times she had seen him and guessed, at the time, that he had to of been a little older than her own father. So, at the time he was around his middle to late forties.

Again she narrowed down the time frame and climbed the small ladder next to her to get to the middle row of files. From there she only needed to look through to the Y's and there she spied the one file she needed. A bit of nervous apprehension flew through her in the moment when her fingers met the manila folder in front of her. It was surreal to have the one thing that could answer her past and now she looked to it to do just that for her. Maybe it would be all she needed and maybe it would lead her to another clue about her father, but she would have no clue unless she took the final plunge and opened the file. There on the paper she found her supposed Uncle and all that was known about him. He was indeed cousin to the Sumiyoshi-kai leader and theses were all rivals to the Yamaguchi-gumi. Indeed her uncle was part of an offending group of people and she couldn't help but wonder how Sesshomaru would react. Of course he was a cousin and not her real uncle so it didn't really matter.

That's when she found it. The one thing she needed to further explore who she was in regards to who her father pretended to be. Right at the bottom of the pristine white colored paper with a small picture of Sumiyoshi, Yuji was a statistics on those who knew him and his acquaintances. A man at the bottom was listed as his second cousin and this man happened to be someone she knew very well. The only problem was that the last names didn't seem to match with what she knew and what was given on the document. Maybe it wasn't the same person; maybe she was just confused and in her warped mind made them the same entity? It was possible, though they had no photo of this man she seemed to know they did have the name that struck her and so, putting the file back without looking at Yuji's apparent 'duties' in his yakuza group, she looked again to find the name she needed. As she was about to lay her head on a new era of documents to look for the name she needed next the door to the home she heard being opened. Great now she was going to get caught going through shit she was not supposed to.

As wickedly fast as possible she shoved the ladder back towards the other end of the aisle as quietly as she could manage and then ran towards the window to the study. There were perfect eves on the side of the house that if she could get to, she could walk on them and get to Sesshomaru's room and act like she had just visited and let herself in. Yes, that would work. Working to get the window to the outside open she heard Inutaisho saying that he smelt that Rin was somewhere in the house and Izayoi spoke of Sesshomaru's room. Now, she needed to move faster without giving away her steps being outside the house instead of inside. So, stepping out of the window she closed it back up tightly and ran around to the other side as silent as she could be and crept into Sesshomaru's bedroom. Just as she was about to close his window Izayoi appeared. She stared at Rin for a second and so, as to avoid suspicion, Rin acted like she was opening the window instead of trying to close it. She also gave the woman a smile.

"A bit hot in here, so I decided to open a window. I didn't hear you come in or I would have made you aware of me. I was taking a bit of a nap."

Still, Izayoi looked at her and then back to the window. After a few confusing moments the older woman seemed to buy it and gave Rin a bit of a nod before heading back out of the room. However, not before she spoke to the young girl.

"Dinner will be ready in a few hours. Inuyasha and Kagome are going to come as well, though I'm afraid Sesshomaru will not be able to make it tonight. You are welcome to join us as always, dear."

Giving a small smile of acknowledgement she watched Izayoi step out into the hall once again and make her way down the stairs. Giving out a large breath of stress and exhaustion she knew that she would not be able to get into the library that night and decidedly she made a choice to somehow get back in there and figure out what she needed. Again she was back at square one and would have to wait to find out what she needed. Patience was a key factor, but she was so close and she knew it that things like this tended to eat at her until she received her answers. For now she would act pleasant when she knew that inside she would be raging to know and for now she would tell no one what she had found until she was certain. Her father's past and his reasoning were about to be answered and she swore that the next time everyone was gone she would get what she needed.

It was so easy to picture her father and how he used to act. Always wearing suits and things around in her memories and it made it simple for her to see the connection that could be made between the man in the file and her father's name. Her brother had always said there was a secret to be gained from their 'real' family name and now she was even more curious. There was no helping her when she turned over on her side and recalled the name typed simply onto the file of Sumiyoshi, Yuji in the known associates' column. A name that was shared with her father except for the family name…why did it feel like it was her father. Of course her father was no yakuza he couldn't be. Why did she feel like when she read it that she was saying what she knew to be true deep down in her heart? With that she got up lightly and glided down the stairs to have a meal with Sesshomaru's family, but all the while one name rang through her: Sumiyoshi, Hiro.

* * *

Earlier, when she had first found the folder she had promised not to tell anyone about what she had discovered, but the file tempted her every time she was left to wonder alone in her thoughts. It was like a haunting and not one of someone who used to be alive, but someone who was alive. The folder never said that the man in the folder was deceased so she assumed that if this was her father he would more than likely only be associated with a man like Sumiyoshi, Yuji because they were friends. That was what she kept telling herself and what she came to believe. She could also be completely wrong and find the man to be someone else entirely and then she would be right back at the beginning with trying to find information again. All she needed was some concrete evidence and it would all start with her grandmother. Maybe she knew something that Rin didn't. If this man who shared the same first name as her father, was friends with Yuji a yakuza member and finally having a connection on file with Yuji maybe her grandmother would know a least a little for Rin to go on. And now she was fighting with her grandmother at the kitchen table on the one night that they were both home and having a meal together.

"Grandmother listen to me! Is my father really this man that I read about? Is he?"

The older woman just looked incredulously at her and then paled at her grandchild's words.

"How would you know about the Yakuza? Rin you are going to get in trouble with those lowlifes!"

Rin just looked flabbergasted by her own grandmother.

"What are you talking about? I looked through a damn file and found a man with the same first name as father who is a relation to a man in the yakuza, that how!"

It was a minute before her grandmother turned to put her plate in the sink. She was trying to keep away from the situation and Rin wouldn't allow it. She needed answers and obviously her grandmother wasn't about to spill them freely.

"Grandmother listen, please! I found it and I know that you have information that I need! Tell me!"

"I have nothing you need child. The yakuza died out a long time ago and now you think your own father has something to do with it? Ridiculous."

With that the old woman went to pass by Rin and with rage Rin grabbed her arm and held her back all the while making sure she didn't hold the older woman.

"No they are not dead! Grandmother you lived in the golden age of yakuza and you knew my father well so why won't you tell me what you know! Is it so wrong I want to know?"

"You could not have gotten those files because as I told you, they no longer exist."

Again the older woman was making her way to her own room.

"No! My damn boyfriend is a yakuza that's how I found the files! They were in a place where I wasn't allowed to go. I even went to Oyabun Hisayuki's place to find out more information. Where do you think I go when my boyfriend YAMAGUCHI Sesshomaru takes me home with him? He's a damn yakuza and they do still exist you just don't want to tell me the truth."

With all of that said the older woman rounded on her own grandchild and slapped her across the face. She had tears in her eyes when Rin looked up from her burning cheek. For an older lady she sure as hell could hit hard and now even Rin had tears in her eyes.

"Your father was a damn fool Rin. A damn fool. He is certainly not alive like you believe him to be. Rin your father is dead because of the acquaintance he had with Yuji. Your father was shot along with your mother and brother. Now, stop snooping around Rin or your going to end up just like them shot and burned to cinders!"

With that the old woman slammed her door shut to her room, but all Rin could hear was the whisper she wasn't supposed to through the wood separating them. This sallow partition that signified the space between her and her own grandmother and it represented the 'wall' that she was about to cross between sane and insane with her grandmother's soiled words.

"That girl is going crazy again thinking her father is still alive. The fool is dead and now she's just chasing ghosts around in her head."

Why was life one big illusion? Why did she have to go through her own life wondering if the things she felt, saw, and heard were from the real world or from her made up one? Was she always going to be fucking insane to where she couldn't correctly function in society? Her thoughts began to lead her down, again, into the void that she felt safest in, too bad it was a place where few could reach her. She really was worthless when it came to living life. She was not one to feel down about herself, but hearing her own grandmother say she was a lost cause just like in the year she spent at the asylum. It was one thing for someone she didn't know to say it, though her own grandmother was not that close to her, she still felt that family knew one another. Family knew other family and that's why she had felt so strongly that it was her father in that file and not a nameless mobster. She _had_ believed it and now she had no idea what was real including what she previously believed in. She saw her father's dead body and felt the flames lick at her heels and felt her back scrape and skin detach from sinew when her back racked along the protruding metal of the bed. All of that was real, so how could a man shot in the head with his brains painting the blue bed sheets be alive? There was no way, so she had lost her touch with reality hadn't she?

* * *

Sesshomaru had come back five days later. It was not supposed to take that long, but the member he had gone to see wanted to show him what was making profits and making suggestions for him to tell his father about to increase revenues. He wanted to drag out his hospitality to the young demon and try to get on his good side for future references. He had come back expecting to be welcomed by Rin when he stepped into his room. Of course, her scent lingered, like always, but not as strongly. So, she hadn't been here recently like she usually did when he was absent? Thinking nothing of it he showered and slid into the bed making the decision to talk to his father about the information he had received in the morning hours. Maybe she needed some time away from him to do her own things and he would give it to her like always. As the storm ragged on from outside his window he knew she was sleeping quietly as well even with the lightening flashing and the rain pounding against the glass.

The very next morning he grew worried about her after he had consulted his father about her whereabouts. The older demon had said that the day she had left the house was the last day he had seen her. This could not keep him from wondering if she was alright. After speaking with Inutaisho pertaining to his experience and gained knowledge from what the yakuza underling had told him he set out to find what had happened (if anything at all) to Rin. It would probably end up that she was just at home, waiting for him to come and get her for them to go out or something similar. He made his way in the BMW instead of the bike because today was not as bad with rain as yesterday had been, but still there was a light sheet of it coming down and it had been all morning. As he stopped and started with the typical morning traffic commute of Tokyo he wondered what it would be like to stay with her for a week or two straight with no interruptions of having to work. His father had promised that the next two weeks he would be able to go to school and see Rin all he wanted with the knowledge that he would not be called upon.

It was like a grace period so to speak because as soon as that period was over he had to take another and this one took him to Kyoto and away from her for a bit. Now, as he pulled up towards her home he noticed that her grandmother was obviously there because a window was open in the front of the room and he knew Rin only opened the window to her room and no other. Stepping out of the car he came upon the door and rang the bell. He had never really met the older woman and knew Rin had not spoken to her about who he was and probably never would. Truth be told he did not feel he needed to introduce himself to someone who gave such little care to her own grandchild, no matter how much Rin said the woman cared deep down. Finally, after three pushes to the button she came and answered the door.

Rin's grandmother was a short and stout woman with long grey hair that was put up in a messy bun and she wore traditional feudal clothes. Obviously, she was about to head out to the shrine she held together without giving a thought to Rin. She starred at him a bit and then asked what he was doing there.

"I am here to see Rin. May I come in?"

Normally, he would not extend such a courtesy to anyone that was not his father or the girl in particular that he had been looking for, though this was a woman that he needed to get inside the home, so he tolerated her. Although he could easily overpower her he would rather not waste the little strength it would take to do so. She glared at him a bit and then finally gestured for him to come in. This entire process she obviously did reluctantly.

"You're that one my granddaughter talked about right? Her boyfriend?"

He merely nodded his head and was about to go up to her room when the old woman stopped him. What came out of her mouth almost made him drop his jaw right there in front of her and that was something he had never done. In the same moment he wanted to yell at this woman and strangle her until she was nothing but a heap or skin and bone on the floor in front of his feet. Rin may have said that she cared but obviously not enough to take care of the poor girl like she should have.

"She's not there."

She said it so dismissively like it was not such a big deal. It was however, because Rin occasionally would leave somewhere without telling him and normally he would be able to track her down by sent alone. The only thing he noticed was that her scent was not sharp here either, so she had obviously been gone a few days from here as well. Quickly, like a bolt of lightening, he shot in front of her and heard her mutter 'demon' under her breath before she looked up at him.

"Where the hell is she?"

She casually brushed it off and grabbed a bag that was lying on a nearby table next to the door and as she was walking out told him.

"She started talking nonsense about her father being alive and she fell back into her own world, I can't take it, so I put her back in the place where she was when she was little; the asylum because they know what should be done for her there."

There was no matter of explanation that could fully describe how he felt in that moment. No word made to say how angry he was. He wanted to kill this old woman standing before him, for the way she acted alone was bad enough. As for right now he needed to find out where she had been taken and get her the hell out of there before he lost her forever. Though she never fully explained what happened to her while she had been placed in that institution as a little girl, he did know it was not a good place for her to be at all. Her grandmother said they would help her but he knew that it could make everything a lot worse. He even took the liberty of gritting his teeth to show how angry he was.

"Where in the hell is this place?"

The same nonchalant attitude graced her next answer as well.

"It is on the upper-east side on the outskirts of town. You can't miss it because the metro takes you right to it."

Knowing he had to hurry as fast as he could to get to her he could not help letting some of the anger boil over as he spoke to her.

"Rin always said that you loved her even though you are never around and never take an interest in anything she does. I believe her to be a little lenient about her explanation of you and now I see the truth. You only care what you do. She is your daughter's daughter and you could care less. If you really loved her you would make it work out you old hag. I'm going to bring her back here and if you ever want to see any resemblance to your past, then I suggest you fix your fucking attitude before I take everything, even that precious temple, away from you."

With that said he left her to think. It was possible that she might have gotten the point, for as he left in his car and backed up from the small driveway he saw her put her bag down and solemnly close the door. Maybe she would not fully change, but perhaps she would change just enough for Rin to know that he was not the only being to love her. Driving as fast as possible he weaved in and out of traffic all the while having horns beeped at him to which he paid no attention at all. He still had plenty of anger but he knew that he could not take it out on her when he got there. Finally after thirty minutes of fast paced driving he pulled up into a long paved drive and as he crested a small hill in the road he came upon what he had been searching for.

Getting out of his vehicle he approached the large wooden doors that lead into an even larger waiting/reception area. He had spied the outside of the place and it was red, filled with bricks and had little windows. The small amount of windows that it did have had bars in front of them and were obviously not made of glass. Now, at he stepped into the two story brick structure he noted that the inside was painted shades of calming blue with rows of chairs around the outskirts and corners of the room. Obviously, it was not bust because only two other people were there. Others looked to have left whoever they knew in here and forgot about them. He waited for the older receptionist to get through filing some papers and walked up to the tall desk that reached about his mid chest and looked down at her. She must have seen his shadow loom over her because when she looked up she was dressed in white scrubs and clicked away on her keyboard without looking.

"How may I help you?"

He made it simple for her.

"I need to see Ms. Minamoto Rin. She also needs to come home with me…today."

It seemed that what he declared was funny and she laughed a bit.

"I can only release her to the person who is her guardian and you definitely aren't the old grouching lady that came in here with her days ago. I also need the c.o. to sign off on her to be released as well."

Growling softly so as not to attract attention, he peered down at her and leaned forward at bit to make her uncomfortable. For added effect he rolled up his shirt sleeve and made sure the inside of his wrists were clearly visible.

"I say that you do as I ask and show me to her room so I can get her the fuck out of this hellhole, or perhaps I should remove you from your job and close this place down."

The woman shifted a bit in her seat and quickly dialed a number on the phone and paged a man by the name of Kamura to come to the front of the building. When the man came through the doors he walked over to talk with the girl who then whispered to him. The man looked over at Sesshomaru and then to his wrists before getting handed a file of off-yellow and gesturing Sesshomaru to follow him. All the while they took the stairs to the second floor and the man kept chatting.

"We are so glad that you have come to see us here Mr. Yamaguchi. I understand that you wish to have Ms. Minamoto removed from our care, but I assure you she is doing quite well and I would recommend she stay here until she is fully recovered."

Sesshomaru ignored everything the puny man with glasses had to say and just kept walking; the hell he would leave her here. He would never dump her in a place like this and expect her to be alright. If anything he would have someone come to their home, so that he would be able to keep an eye on her. Then, suddenly, the male in front of him stopped and took out a big ring of keys from his coat pocket and smiled at Sesshomaru.

"Here she is in room number 52."

Shoving the man out of the way Sesshomaru pushed the door open further and at first did not see anything, even in a room as tiny as having only a small table and a bed in it. Obviously if Rin needed to use facilities she would somehow have to ask to be escorted or wait until it was a free time to mingle with others. Her living conditions were not horrible, but he would feel better when she was out of here. His hopes were wrong when he finally took in her visage. There, huddled in the far corner in front of the beds low legs (which left just enough cover for her to hide behind when he first peered into the room) she was in the quintessential hospital ward gown except with a back to it and her knees pulled into her chest showing off her plain white issued undergarments. Her head was placed on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her knees and she happened to be shaking.

Slowly, so as not to startle her, he walked over and crouched down to her level right in front of her knees. For fuck's sake she was even worse than he thought because when he went to touch her she shrunk back. She was inside her own head at the moment and everything was viewed as something it was not and she could very well see him as one of the men who had killed her family that night long ago. He shushed her when she made a protest to push him away and as gently as he could manage scooped her into his arms with a few more whimpers and protests along the way. It felt as if she were one of those dogs that had been beaten and was so deathly afraid of anyone touching it, that it shook with its own fear. As he stepped out of the door to her room the doctor gave a glance to her and still gave Sesshomaru the suggestion to keep her here.

"I have more important things to worry upon at the moment, but know that in a few weeks you will not be having a job, so I suggest you start looking for a new one."

With that said he left as quickly as he could and placed her in the car. She kicked a bit when he went to place her in the front seat, so he sat her in the beck that way she would be able to stretch out if she felt the need, though at the moment she seemed too occupied with her thoughts to register needs. Lightly touching her head he closed the door softly and ran round the other side of the car to get in the driver's seat. As soon as the keys reached the ignition he was gone. There was nary a peep from Rin the entire ride back to his home and as he came from the car, with her still in his arms he knew that he would have to explain things to his father and again, those would have to wait until he got Rin settled and sleeping for the night before he helped her adjust back out of herself tomorrow.

Striding to the front door he took a bit of time trying to juggle Rin and all the while attempting to open the door when suddenly it swung open to show Kagome. This was all he needed everyone here to see, Rin in a place she would most likely not have anyone know she could go. Brushing past her as she gasped at Rin he was surprised when his father, Inuyasha, and Izayoi stepped into the room with Inuyasha yelling about something as trivial as Ramen. His yells, however, affected Rin because she tried to squirm out of his arms and succeeded in falling onto the hard floor before he could grab a hold of her. Nothing helped and was made worse by his father's booming voice radiating through the expansive entrance.

"What in the hell is going on Sesshomaru?"

Izayoi spoke next with a worried tone.

"Is she alright?"

He had no time to answer as he walked over to the left hand corner that she had scampered off to and now resided in with a huddled state. He shushed her a few more times before he grabbed her face and made her make eye contact. This did not work either because even though her face was pointed directly in front of his, her eyes darted to the left and right. Looking back at his father he decided to finally speak.

"Do you remember what I made you promise me before I left?"

He did not even turn away from Rin to look at his father.

"Yes."

A bit of steel came to his voice when he spoke next. He was still angry at the old woman, but now was not the time to hash that out. Now was the time to keep Rin from falling so far that he could never get her back out.

"Her grandmother sent her there."

"Holy shit, son."

Not giving a response he heard his father speak to the others and told them to leave the room for the two of them to be alone. No one seemed to be moving for a while and Rin kept looking around her like something would be approaching without her knowledge if she did not keep an eye out. Quietly he whispered to her so she would not be terrified of his voice.

"Rin you need to get out of this. You need to look at me."

She did not look at him, which made him a bit frustrated, so he grabbed her face lightly for a second time and starred into her eyes.

"You are safe here. This is our home and everyone is worried about you."

Still she gave him nothing and he wanted to sigh a bit but knew that it might take time for her to realize she was not stuffed in a small room with a small bed to lie upon. He knew what he was about to do might be a shock to those around him, however this was Rin's sanity on the line and it needed saving.

"I am right in front of you Rin. You need to look at me and I know you can do it, lovely."

With the last word leaving his lips she somehow found his eyes for a few seconds before looking elsewhere, though with his words she seemed to relax a bit and so did he because he found that they were getting somewhere. She was not the lost cause others said she was. Not his Rin.

"There she is. Come, let's get you to bed."

As he picked her up she had no protesting left in her and she whispered lightly, though he knew everyone in the room was hanging on what they spoke to one another and he did not care one bit.

"He promised me. He promised me."

"I know I did."

"He promised."

"I know, I know."

As they made their way around the corner he contemplated placing her in one of the lower rooms, but then quickly decided that maybe if she slept in his room she might be able to come out of her world a bit faster than usual. Carefully, so as not to alarm her, he placed her down on the bed and covered her with his soft silk sheets. He sat next to her on the bed as she starred off at the wall mumbling something to herself when he heard footsteps he looked up and found all of the others crammed into the doorway of his room. Even Kagome looked around a bit which she seemed to try and grasp who he was from the contents of his quarters.

"Let us know if you need anything son. When you are done here be sure to speak to me in my study."

He pushed the rest of them out and this was the first time his father and step-brother had seen the 'addled' Rin and he hoped it would be the last. He was not ashamed of her actions, because she could not control them, but he was ashamed that someone had to see her in this low of a personal state. There was nothing he wanted more than to take these ailments from her and all the while he knew he could do no such thing, which enraged him further. Deciding that he would not be leaving her tonight he perched on the bed next to her and gently ran his claws through her hair as he laid his head on the large backboard of the bed and closed his eyes. He could hear them talking below him, but when he was in Rin's presence he could easily tune them out, which was what he executed at the moment. Even when she did not realize it she was helping him just as much as he wished to help her. She would pull through this and she would be stronger from it. He needed to set his mind away from everything to live in the moment just as she often did.

* * *

It was trial enough the very next morning to keep Rin focused on something other than her thoughts and memories. She was still somewhat out of it and all he could do, like always, was try to help and hope that they would get somewhere eventually. Luckily though, near the end of the week she had straightened herself out a bit more and might be able to attend school the next week if she was ready. It would be a good thing for her to get out of the house and do something, not that he did not try and help her. They took trips outside and she often stared off into the lands in front of the house. However, they were not able to visit the gardens because of the lingering soggy conditions, but she appeared to enjoy it just the same.

By the weeks end she had made real progress and she would be attending school again the follow days. He would see how she would do and then assess whether she needed to stay out a day or two longer or if she could continue as if life were normal again. The only bad thing that happened to her was that her independence seemed to have left her during the time she had stayed with him. Even now she still stayed near him at all times, like he could protect her. He had obviously failed and the fact that he was not there did not even factor into his thoughts at all. It mattered not if he were there; he should have sensed something was wrong with her in the beginning. And now he sat in the kitchen, during the early morning hours looking at the Tokyo Times with Rin sitting on the edge of his legs bent over a bowl of cereal (her favorite brand that was always kept in the house just for her) and looking at the cartoon section of the newspaper. These were rare occurrences these days and he would cherish them and take every opportunity to have more exactly like this.

She would emit a childlike giggle every so often and then go back to reading and eating her cereal until she found another section she found funny. In many was her childlike qualities were refreshing because it was these aspects that set her apart from others. She could act one way when it was appropriate and care free when she felt like it. It looked as if having a disregard for others comments was easy, though he knew deep down things bothered her and when she went into her thoughts it was dark and this was such a coping mechanism for her and he knew it. One of the reasons he let her act childish when she wanted was because he sensed that it helped her out in the long run and her antics never bothered him much. As she was about to take another bite two people slipped into the room. Obviously Inuyasha was pissed because he and Kagome were not allowed in the same room together without the door open. Inutaisho trusted his second son, but likely not with a girl the half-demon was becoming infatuated with. More and more she would come over and this proved his theory that Inuyasha was going to keep her and eventually make her his mate.

Giving no mind to the two of them he looked back down at his paper as he heard Inuyasha mumble about how unfair it was that he and Rin were able to stay in the same bed and not get in trouble. Feeling a smirk coming on, as Kagome addressed Inuyasha about what they had for breakfast, he decided to speak. Obviously the young girl was not used to casual and blunt talk, but she would be living with it for the rest of her life should she choose to stay with the half-demon.

"The reason Rin and I get to sleep in the same room is because Father trusts what we share. Plus, we have had sex before and Father knows of this."

Kagome seemed to stop her hunting in the refrigerator then she decided at that moment to turn around to pale at him. In the very same moment Rin let out a laugh but it was not about the situation, it happened to be about the cartoon in front of her. Indeed she had good timing. Stroking her side a bit he looked back at the paper and put it in front of his face to block everything out. Trying to feel a bit of relief he was not about to get it because the couple on the other side of the kitchen wished to argue over what to eat and the girl on his lap tapped him lightly on the arm, which caused him to put down his paper and stare with a questioning glance.

"Can I get some more?"

At her statement he inspected her bowl and found only a little layer of milk left and a stray cornflake that had attached itself to the side of the bowl.

"Of course, it happens to be your own cereal so eat as much as you like."

Fervently she shook her head in agreement and hopped off of his lap. He had intended to go back to his paper, but he could not seem to take his line of sight away from her backside when she had worn one of his black shirts and a pair of tiny yellow shorts. She simply looked lovely in anything she put her body into and he knew for fact that she looked just as lovely without clothes to cover her and that was where her so called "new nickname" had come from. It was more of a subconscious gesture since she did not seem to mind at all he never changed it. He watched carefully as she poured herself another bowl and awaited his help for her to get into his lap again on the tall stool where he had perched. Finally, the chatter between Inuyasha and his new girlfriend had ceased and now they sat quietly as they both garnished themselves a bowl of cereal as well, luckily neither of them had grabbed Rin's product.

Feeling her shift a bit he sat the paper aside and quaintly looked upon her as she glanced up at him from an empty bowl that rested before her. Jumping down from him in the next moment she put her bowl in the sink and told him she would clean it when she returned from the shower. With that said she then walked off to get ready for the day. As for what they were doing today he had no clue, but he was determined to spend as many days as he could with her because he had another 'mission' coming up. After he heard the shower turn on, he gathered the paper and was about to make his way back to the room when he heard his father come down the stairs. Assuredly the demon would want to speak with him about the details of what had happened and he would supply them.

"Oh, there you are Sesshomaru. Come to my study when you have a bit of free time, since you did not speak to me last night I wish to meet with you today."

He never let Sesshomaru reply because he quickly walked off back down the hallway. Even though his father had told him the time was optional it really was not. He had stepped away quickly and walked back to his study intending Sesshomaru to follow him back. Inuyasha was already trying to help Kagome adjust to the life and line of work of most of the men in the house. It could not have helped much that when Sesshomaru turned around to go out of the kitchen he heard Kagome gasp. Looking down he noticed he was not wearing a shirt and that he still had his hair up in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. It was not so much that she was being exposed to his partial nudeness, after all he knew woman enjoyed looking at him (certainly Rin did at the very least) or the fact that he cared about the young girl (because he did not), but it was the fact that he was showing off something that Inuyasha clearly had not explained yet. Growling, he decided to move on. The young girl would have found out sometime or another that just because he was always wearing clothes when she saw him did not mean he had nothing to hide; not like he could hide the entirety of his back garnering a traditional samurai (demon characteristics of course instead of man) with a drawn katana and a scroll near his left shoulder that held characters. His whole back was taken up by this image, but she had to have heard the stories of yakuza being fully covered in irezumi. Smiling to himself he heard Inuyasha stammering to hurriedly explain it and it must have been in that moment that the girl realized just what house she was in.

* * *

"You know when you told me your family was yakuza and I was kind of not believing, but all that art on your brother's back is a big clue. I supposed your father has it too? No wonder he kept his arms and neck covered."

She had openly gasped and thought that maybe the older demon would attack her or something. He was ruthless like his brother said and if Inuyasha was correct then he did, indeed, kill people for a living. It was nice to know that you were going out with a boy who was related to the modern mob. He tried to explain that he was not apart of it until he was blue in the face, but honestly she trusted that he wasn't but she did enjoy watching him squirm like right now for instance.

"I'm not a part of their world Kagome, I swear. I don't even know the basic shit that comes with it or even their code. You have to believe me."

She smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek to assure him.

"It's fine. I know you aren't capable of anything like the things he does, but your step-brother does pull off the whole gangster attitude and look very well."

Then, she saw him getting his feathers ruffled because to notice his markings, she obviously had to of noticed his chiseled body, who wouldn't? Quickly she remedied the situation by giving him another peck and speaking softly to his bruised ego.

"Yeah he's hot, but I always think you look way hotter."

* * *

He had left her again, but luckily she was pretty much in the clear when it came to her mental state when she went back to school. Of course, like always, there were rumors as to why she was gone, but none of them were worth paying any attention to. Ignoring them was easy, though she really began to wish he would be able to stick around more than a few days, but the late spring months were the busiest because the constant rain always helped to wash away his scent from fresh kill site. She would get through these days all on her own though, if not to just prove to him that she could. And all the while she was becoming sane she tried to mark a day when she could go and look up the man's file that she thought to be a link to her father and finally she had a date. It was going to be possible for her to get back into the library that coming Thursday and she would get what she needed this time; no loitering around. Now, how to keep from dieing with this great and overwhelming pain of excitement?

It was the final moment of truth as she snuck into the library and stood in front of its menacing large wooden doors. Now was not the time for second guesses, but she wondered if this was the right thing to do. Should she really go through with this, what if her father turned out to be something completely different than she had thought all of her life? Would she turn out a different person from knowing this? Or did she expect something to happen and if it didn't, what would she do then? Would she go back to the way she was before? This time was a very significant even because she would find out if all of her childhood had been a sham or if it was just as everyone thought and told it to be. Taking a deep breath she pushed the doors open and made her way to the back of the room and starred up at the tall shelf.

All the while she was searching for the Sumiyoshi file and more importantly of a man with the first name of Hiro. Soon enough, as her patience was about to get to her, she found the exact file she was looking for and it contained everything the Yamaguchi knew about the Sumiyoshi-kai. About five pages from the boring numbers and reports taken up of Yamaguchi members against that of the Sumiyoshi she found a yellow highlighted name. This was the name she was looking for. Sumiyoshi, Hiro in big bold characters looked right up at her from the Xeroxed paper. There, next to it was located a picture, which looked to be a mug shot from a police station somewhere in Japan. She had always known her father by a name she could grasp and that had been Minamoto, Hiro _not_ the man climbing out of the paper that now caught her eye. Feeling a bit overwhelmed she stepped down from the ladder that she had previously been standing on, and now looked down in amazement at the man who she thought to be her father. So, she had been lied to. Was it for the best at the time in her young life…yes, but what of now? Had her grandmother truly not known he was yakuza? She was, after all, the mother or Rin's mother and not that of her father.

It was odd to think her father a man of violence and jail time, but he was and here was the proof. There was no need to look at the folder any longer, because it had limited information and in that moment she had found the reason why Inutaisho had not known she was a daughter of this mobster: on the paper it had said both of his children had died in a fire and attack on their home and all it described was what had been used to extinguish her entire life: guns and gasoline. Obviously, the men that had been looking for her would not have told their boss that she had lived to only save themselves, so she was presumed dead and no one had known her name, so they left it at that. They could not have known she was alive because of the years proceeding that were spent in a mental institution. Essentially she had disappeared from view so it was an out of sight out of mind consequence for those who looked to hurt her. All her life she had thought the experiences in the asylum to be bad ones, but it seemed to be the one thing in her life that kept her from getting killed. The folder had more information on it but most was blank in nature because he had been killed before most of the information could be acquired.

As for the next few hours she had taken up refuge in Sesshomaru's bedroom. Thinking it possible to feel safe just being surrounded by his things, she locked herself in his room, surrounded by pillows and his scent she found a safe haven. He would get back, but as for the days ahead she would tell no one of what she had found. After all, she was in a place that was filled with her father's enemies in the yakuza world how would they feel to have an enemy in their midst? All her life she had been connected to the yakuza, so maybe that's why she felt safe and nonchalant about the time when Sesshomaru told her about his yakuza work, maybe she was subconsciously ready for it and accepted it with ease. The key to her staying sane right now was the fact that she knew she would have to wait to talk to Sesshomaru and right now he had his own problems to deal with than hers, so she kept it to herself for the time being. How on earth would she tell her Yamaguchi boyfriend that she was a Sumiyoshi?

When she looked down at the number flashing across the caller I.D. on the cell phone he had left her, she reluctantly answered it. Of course it would have to be the one person she wished not to call her at this moment. She had just found a lovely flower shop in a 'darker' side of town on the outskirts of Tokyo. Of course, she had walked there trying not to be a nuisance to Inutaisho. Flipping it open she heard his soft, yet firm voice reach to her from wherever he was at the moment. Meanwhile, she let her fingers run across the velvet texture of the blooms she now stood in front of and getting a smile from the older woman inside the shop that sold the flowers Rin had been looking at for a few minutes. She had been thinking about buying a plant for her room and maybe knowing that it needed to be taken care of she would then have a better chance at staying herself more often.

"How are you Rin?"

She walked a little closer to the outside stall near the sidewalk as she spoke.

"Fine, just fine. How about you?"

"Good as well."

He then inquired as to what she was doing and she only got as far as to tell him that she was looking at the most beautiful flowers she had only pictured in her imaginary thoughts, when a sleek black car pulled up and two men, dressed all in white stepped out and pulled guns from their sides. The few people that were around this early morning screamed and ducked quickly, but it was like she could do nothing but stare on even when they started firing on her. As if to emphasize the point they fired anywhere and everywhere even into the shopkeeper's store. Then, Rin's reaction kicked in and she ducked behind the table that held the flowers and luckily it had been made of metal so the pings were of bullets. This was no regular outburst of society; it was a fucking hit that happened to be pointed at her head. The phone had dropped next to her and she could hear him yelling at her through the receiver and his yelling was something one didn't hear to often, but all she could do was cover her ears as they kept firing and the blood leaking from the closed doorway made everything even more real because the owner of the shop was just a casualty like the blood running across the pavement to meet with her school issued shoes.

All she could hear, even though her hands were cupped around her ears, was the ripping of bullets through the mediums of glass and wood. All she could smell was the aroma or sweet flowers blooming and the crisp air that felt muggy and smelt the same; it was to rain tonight. All she could see were the bullets ripping the petals off of the flowers above her head and those same bullets lodging themselves in the wood of the flower shop doors across from her. All she could feel was the pounding of her heart in her chest and the innate fear that she would never get to see Sesshomaru again or feel the sensation as he took blood from her in a sensually sweet act. Soon car doors opened and close and she knew that all of these sensations needed to cease for her to make a getaway because more men were getting out to hunt her. She then bolted for the shop doors, pushed them open and made haste to the back of the shop and all she could do at that moment was keep her legs pumping and keep a healthy distance between herself and imminent death.

* * *

A/N: O.K so how was that installment? Likey, let me know. No new words here but I will say that this chapter did not take me very long to complete because up-to-date chapter 9 had taken the longest to finish. A thanks goes out to those who reviewed and those who intend to. LOVE YOUS! They just keep getting bigger and bigger, but we like that yes?


	12. Corrosive Inquiry

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 11:_

_Corrosive Inquiry_

A/N: A conclusion to the last chapter and new opening for the same chapter as well. Thank you's go out to those who reviewed! More with creepy guy from ch.5 is coming up! Yep! Aren't we all just excited…so by this time I hope you've caught on with how many appearances he's had through this story so far? Maybe even some of you know who he is? Now, this chapter hosts another Orr poem, so I hope you like it as well. Let get the show on the road shall we?

* * *

"**Tin Cup"**

Gregory Orr

Here's a tin cup

furred with rust

Here's a bad heart

I've lugged this far.

Begging? No.

Hauling with me

all a mortal has.

You think I'm grim

and thin, wizened

as a dry stick.

You think I've come

to bore you

with a long story

of torment

And yet I swear

I love this earth

that scars and scalds,

that burns my feet.

And even hell is holy.

* * *

**The** first time he had felt fear was when his father had begun training him in the art of killing and hand-to-hand combat and he believed that the punch his father was throwing at his face was going to connect. The second time he had felt fear was when Rin looked to have been lost inside herself for the first time and he not known what to expect. The third time (certainly not the last) he felt fear was when he heard bullets smashing into things and heard Rin drop the phone and nothing was said in a female tone he could recognize, then the phone went dead silent. Fear that she had been killed leaked out of him like a siren and right now, being positioned on the roof about to kill a man from 200 yards away perched on a high-rise building with the early morning sun beating upon him from over the clouds, he quickly disassembled his rifle and placed it in its case all the while with a radical thought of a dead girl lying in the streets of Tokyo. He needed to get from Kyoto to Tokyo as fast as he could and the only option he had was to run as fast as possible. Still, he would not be able to get there until darkness had already fallen, but she had been good at hiding from him so maybe she would do it again. The shoe slaps he had heard for the split second before the call ended had given him hope that she had ran for her life and still lived.

When he finally arrived at his home he found his father and Izayoi sitting in the kitchen side by side, speaking to one another in whispered tones. He found Inuyasha and his new girlfriend sitting next to one another watching some program on television. No one was even aware that something had happened to Rin. Surely, with the groups of yakuza out there in the heart of Tokyo one of them had to have seen _something, anything _and reported it to his father right? For fuck's sake it was a shooting in the middle of the morning had no one noticed? They had to of noticed but maybe they were afraid to come forward because it was dealing with the yakuza. As he passed his father in the kitchen he must have given off an air of anger because his father stood up a bit from his seat in the kitchen, as he made his way into the living room.

"Son, what's wrong?"

Saying nothing he jumped in front of the television, snatched the remote from Inuyasha as he protested and fought with the demon. However, Sesshomaru would have nothing of it because he knew that there would definitely have to be something on the news about what had happened. Switching the station to the news it was right there, the top story of the evening rolling about the screen like a constant siren of color of what he had done wrong. He had arrived in the evening hours as the sun was going down and he knew he had to find her as soon as possible, but it would be better if he had more than himself looking around. He had also checked the home because he thought that there was a chance for her to have come back, but it was useless.

"This is about the yakuza…what does this have to do with-"

The older demon was cut off when the announcer on the screen said in a rushed voice that someone had caught the event on her phone with a tiny camera. Then, the station proceeded to show the footage and he watched as she ducked, huddled behind a tiny metal table hoping it would save her life as men fired round after round upon her, then she bolted off towards the shop, opened the door and was never seen again. The video was obviously caught from a high vantage point and was hosting a slight sheen, so someone who lived in one of the surrounding apartment complexes had taped it. Now that he knew the location he could go there and hope that her scent alone had lingered just enough for him to pick up on. He was about to head out the door and into the rain, when he heard his father stop him.

"My god why has no one said anything? Sesshomaru, we had no idea."

By that time he knew his father would send people out to look for her as well, but Sesshomaru had more important things to worry about than explain shit to his father. Sweeping his long black leather coat over his shoulders he ran out of the door and into a dead sprint to the small flower shop that she had been to earlier that day. There was clearly marked yellow police tape, but only a small cop car and one officer to watch it. If it had to do with the yakuza no station wanted to do anything about it; they were just to deal with their own problems. Most of the time the utter incompetence of the police force to not get involved was a good thing, but right now he wished that there were even more people looking for her. What if they were still trailing her and she had no idea? No, Rin was smart and she would stay low for a while and as he breathed in her caught several scents at once and tried to differentiate between them. When he caught her scent she led him down several allies and bypasses in roads which could only mean she was frantic and scared and this made his heart ached lightly for her.

* * *

Feeling herself react to everything sound and sight around there was a towering sense of paranoia. They had fond her a few times and now she settled on this one place and kept hoping that they would give up and leave her alone. Had she honestly done something, anything so heinous to this people that she deserved to be hunted down a damn animal for the rest of her days? It was scary that she had let her guard down for a week or so and now she was in for death. Thoughts traveled a mile a minute because she had never experienced any of this until recently, so was she being directly targeted for who she was or who she knew?

It hurt her to think that this was all Sesshomaru's fault that she was going through all of these things one after another, but what other explanation could be garnered from all of this? Sighing she hid, huddled up as much as she could inside an abandoned neighborhood home, right under a boarded-up window. Little sections like this were not common in Japan, but this block was being renovated for yet another luxury hotel to be placed and so the buildings and their residents had been bought out and some of them had already been demolished. The one she now resided in was drafty and damp from the recent rains and smelled of mold and mildew, but she refused to leave for fear that she just might be gunned down as soon as she stepped foot outside of the house. A single good aspect that had come out of this was that she was not seriously hurt, but she had scratched one of the men across the cheek when he got too close at one point in her escape.

There she kept as small as possible as she shivered in the light air. All she had worn this morning was a freaking pair of light cotton pants and a t-shirt. Her run had lasted all day and she was physically and mentally exhausted which led her to believe that if she were to be confronted; again she might not have the energy to fight back. Unlike the event previously Sesshomaru had found her and felt relatively okay with wondering around because at one point her attackers had given up, but these bastards thought differently. Every rustle of leaves from the lone tree on the block made her pale until she realized that it was just the wind making leaves move. All she needed was to add this ailment, paranoia, to her list of mental problems. In that next moment she heard footsteps, light and controlled, hitting the outside steps painfully quick. Shit!

All she knew was that she ran as hard and as fast as she could when she sprinted up the dilapidated staircase that led to a small second story. She felt a hand around her waste that made her scream as if the life had been stricken from her. She never felt the light touch he used to control her flailing arms and legs, nor did she pay attention to the voice she knew so well from the past. Her screams kept her alive and fighting to stay alive until she felt a hand over her mouth and a slight pinch to the back of her neck before every sight she knew and every grungy wall board that she had seen, faded to black with a garbled voice radiating in the back of her mind.

* * *

The minute he stepped onto the cracked pavement of the home he heard an increased heartbeat. Her scent was definitely here and he held a bit of excitement. She had to be alright if her heart was still pumping strong enough for him to hear. Reaching for the door he heard her racing across the wooden flooring and ran in after her. She kicked and fought him, but he could only calm her screaming down by causing her to pass out. Her yelling would cause attention to them and he did not want it to make them both targets in case some of the bastards were hanging around her. Just looking at her made him want to wince. She had no visible injuries, but her face was caked with smudges of dirt and dust along with her dirty clothes. She smelled like the Rin he knew, but there was so much fear running off of her that it was almost masked. Picking her up he also grabbed his phone out of his pocket to contact his father and tell him that she had been found.

Instantly when the receiver was picked up he wanted to know if she was alright. Of course, he assured his father that she was physically fine and that they would be home in a few minutes. Flipping the phone closed he focused his attention on getting home as soon as possible and contacting her grandmother who had, for some reason, begun to care a bit more than usual. Was it possible that what he had said had finally pulled her out of her delirium? She awoke half way to their destination and was breathing heavily until she looked up, then she visibly relaxed a calmed herself by taking deep, even breaths. Her small smile was a complete surprise and it was almost as if she was getting used to these things. Initially, she would be scared and then, when she found that she was in his safe presence she would cope. The smile soon faded when she spoke.

"I can never tell if they are after you or me."

With that said she had nothing else to speak of and she rested for the remainder of the way and not once did she protest for him to put her down.

* * *

They attended school for the next two weeks and became closer such as before their fight. It would be at the middle of the next week that things made yet another turn for the worst with their relationship and his manner of occupation. Often times she would find herself in precarious situations, but none of them matched the ferocity of this one event. It was a big deal in the school that some kids had access to the top part of the building because sometimes the teacher would go up there to smoke and some of the kids would sneak in after the door was _supposed _to be closed. Oh well, they found a way to get up there anyway, so most teachers came to ignore it. Some fights would happen there and even other students smoking, but other than those occurrences nothing major happened there.

On rare occasions she would find herself wondering up there to get away from everything and Sesshomaru hated her being so damn far from the ground and told her that something might happen and make her fall, but she never paid it any mind. That was where she found herself on this day in particular: one the roof of the school standing a few feet from the edge and watching the clouds war with the sun over who got to claim the sky for that day. It was a bit later and the sun was at its highest point. Only a few more classes remained in the day and she was just turning around to move back inside the building when a figure caught her eye. He was dressed in simple clothing and automatically she could tell that he did not attend her school.

He was wearing a simple all black suit accompanied by black shoes and a (of course) black undershirt with this black shades over his eyes. She thought that he could look handsome except for the light scar that ran by his chin; with and thin, but all the same marred a good facial structure. He had dark and deep brown hair tied at the back of his neck with a small leather tie with the wildest blue eyes she had ever seen through the cover of the dark lenses. He was not overly muscled but she could tell that he was as strong as anything. His height was not too surprising because he was only an inch or two taller than the average Japanese male. This man was not overly unique, but he did have a few things here and there that made him stand out. The air he gave off was something she was growing uncomfortable with the way he hid behind the sun glasses.

Speaking not a word to her he stepped closer to her and she gasped when he pushed the glasses upon his head and revealed the true color of his eye: ice blue. She knew something was wrong when he showed a flash of color with a neon green tie that was so bright it could light up a darkened room and one solitary word erupted from her mouth that was audible even to him: yakuza. He laughed a bit evilly at her and that was when she noticed the black lines creeping over the black collar of his shirt which showed her head had irezumi as well. Deciding that he was scum right off the bat she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. Refusing to be intimidated she continued her false façade that kept her from cracking up in front of him and getting nervous. The symbol plastered at the top of his tie showed him to be a Sumiyoshi-kai; her father's affiliation. What did they want with her?

"You know of us yakuza then I suppose Rin?"

His voice when he spoke was one she recognized very well and she could not help her outward reaction of a stunned face. That sick fuck that made her hide under her bed was right in front of her and she could do nothing about it as of yet.

"Yes, yes I know your name dear girl and you have been a hard one to find. I mean we honestly thought you had died in that fire, but there is always the possibility for error with those types of things."

Rin was not about to make a stupid mistake and try to confront him. She would tell Sesshomaru and he would find this prick and get rid of him for her. Although she did want to harm every bone in his body for killing her family, she knew that he had a strategic advantage of having more than one gun on him and stealth from years of hits, much like Sesshomaru. He settled next to her leaning against the large air duct and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and proceeded to stay silent for a little while longer before turning to her.

"You seem rather calm for a girl who is in the presence of a killer."

She only continued to look on, out around the campus as she tried to keep calm and cool.

"My own boyfriend kills people for a living just like you and I can guarantee he's a better shot."

Again, the man next to her laughed which caused her to internally cringe. That same voice that had caused her life to go off track and ruined her mental state was laughing nearly three feet away from her with a smirk on his face. Still, through all of this getting thrown in her face, she kept mostly quiet and composed as much as she could for wanting to strangle the guy next to her.

"Ah, your boyfriend. Yes, Yamaguchi-gumi member Sesshomaru. He's a very cold-hearted bastard eh? He may pity you for what happened those years ago but it was my job to eliminate your father's existence and anything tied with him; including you."

As he staved out his cigarette he turned toward her and smiled wide.

"What the fuck do you want with me? You tried to kill me before, but you failed. Now, tell me what the hell my father has to do with you, prick? I know he was an important member of your 'group', but I have done nothing to warrant you coming after me again. So I ask you, what is it you want from me?"

His smile died on his face when she insulted him and as quickly as he could he grabbed her by the throat and as she kicked, walked her over to the side of the three story ledge building.

"Dear Rin, your father was very important to our faction and he betrayed us. You poor little girl you have no idea what your father meant to us do you? Too bad you will never know because I do know that you have looked in the Yamaguchi files, but you won't be finding his true identity in that piece of shit. You won't be finding out any time either because I've been sent here to kill you and this time I cannot afford to fail."

There was no time for her to think anything, but she would not be letting him see her shake in front of him. Never would she give someone looking to hurt her and Sesshomaru the satisfaction. He would get nothing and as he waited for a reply she only cracked her own smile before he looked oddly down at her.

"You smile right before you die, are you mad?"

Her smile could only grow larger.

"You have no idea Hiroyuki."

The grip on her neck released and what she felt was a rush of wind, someone screaming below her and when she hit the ground she felt oddly peaceful. Nothing much hurt except for her left hand, the back of her head and her right ankle. The world around her began to get fuzzy and dark as she tried to stay awake and all the while knowing that just because she was alive in this minute she might not be in the next. She started seeing shadows lurking in front of her vision as people whispered and gathered around her. No one was helping until a teacher yelled for assistance. Since her life began she had had nothing but life threatening experiences so this one was no different than the rest except this time she hoped Sesshomaru would find her and make her safe if only for a little while.

* * *

Having just come from class it was not much of a surprise when a mountain of students milled around the halls and many headed towards the main doors to get a quick look outside before having to go back in, but this group continued on outside and gathered. Stepping closer he smelled blood when the door was pushed open for the second time and instantly he shoved students out of his way both left and right. A scent that was so familiar to him, that when he got outside he rushed over to the next group of hovering students and his eyes grew large with worthy. There she was lying on the ground at an odd angle starring up at the top of the building. When he looked up he knew he saw the swish of a coat and the same smell that had attached itself to Rin. It was a scent of a man and immediately he wanted to track the fucker down, but Rin was more important right now and he would ask her who had (obviously) shoved her when she was better. She would get better, she had to.

Stepping next to her the teacher in charge of the situation tried to tell him to go back to class, but when he leveled the man with a glare it made the silence around them grow. As he stared down at her body he found that she was unconscious. Blood seeped from the back of her head and he knew she had to have some broken bones. This was the final incident that was going to affect her. The decision was made that if he could find who had done this, all of them would go down with this single man. The ground would receive them and she would get some peace regardless of whether or not her lived to see her smiles or not. He was tired (as was she) of being annoyed with threats to her life; threats to his own were manageable, but she was not to be a target: **ever**.

The blasted human paramedics that had been called to the scene would not let him ride with her, so he had to follow behind with the protests of the school administration, still he was not about to care for their words over the broken body of his girlfriend. Speeding down the highway his mind was occupied with thoughts on her condition and how much he wanted to find the fucker that had hurt her and watch as the life slowly left his eyes from the crushing grip his neck was under. Definitely the bastard would pay for every second he had ever had in contact with Rin. Speed dialing his father he told him that Rin had been taken to the hospital. Obviously from the talk in the background he had interrupted an important meeting with his father, but this was not the matter that was of concern at the moment. Knowing his father would come quickly he hung up on him before he had asked about her condition. Truth be told he said nothing because he, himself had no idea and that thought alone scared the hell out of him.

Coming to a screeching halt in front of the hospital he quickly parked and gave no attention to the police officer that told him he was not allowed to park near the entrance. When he was able to get to the nurse's station he was told she was sent to the emergency room because of the injury to her head along with blood loss; she said he was not allowed to see her either until she was clear for recovery. Damnit! So, making himself as comfortable as he could get he sat in a hard metal framed chair that, for all purposes, was not very comfortable at all, and awaited the doctors to tell him the news, any news at this point. There he sat through the next hour or two because each time the clock on the wall ticked he would subconsciously count it even with the chatter around him he would hear each and every infernal second that went by. Even as he counted he began to think he was turning into Rin.

"For fuck's sake I am counting ticks on a clock; Rin is rubbing off on me too much it seems."

Initially that had been a comment to himself. He never was one for emotions but for some reason saying her name made him feel better and made him feel that she would not be leaving him this night. Sitting there with his head in his hands he failed to notice the older demon's presence, even with his superior senses.

"Indeed, you both are becoming more like one another each day."

Looking up he found his father looking gloomily down at him. From the way Sesshomaru was positioned he must have known things were not good. With a sigh he sat down next to his son and asked a question he knew was sensitive.

"How is she?"

Putting his head back into his hands he shrugged his shoulders for the very first time in his life. There was never a day when he had no idea what to expect, but it seemed that with Rin he was having a lot of firsts with his emotions.

"I have no idea; they will not let me see her."

A sigh came from his father.

"I told Izayoi and she will be coming as soon as she can."

The only thing he left his father with was a grunt. The woman was hard pressed to like Rin and even though she was warming up to the girl he could really care less who came to visit her, he just wanted to know if she was alright. Then, his father spoke again and he was forced to answer what he had seen and also gave a description of the man he had seen on the building. After his final explanation Inutaisho just looked over at his son who was bent down over himself with clear worry. Sesshomaru knew he must have looked weak but nothing was to be helped at the moment.

"I failed to protect her for what seems to be the hundredth time during our relationship."

Sesshomaru felt a pat on his back and happened to look up at his father who, for just a split second gave an odd look, but it cleared up the next second into a smile.

"You have not failed her and you never will. She relies on you and even though things happen they are neither the fault of you or her. Things happen, son, you just have to accept them and make sure the bastard who hurt her pays for it. I will do all I can to aid in finding this man and you will have full honors in ringing his head from his shoulders."

A sadistic grin came to his face and that was when the doctor came in to inform him of Rin's injuries. Then, as soon as the answer was given he went to room to have a few minutes alone with her, even though she was asleep it did not matter, just touching her hand and feeling the beat of her heart was enough.

The doctors had said that she suffered from a concussion, broken wrist, broken ankle, and a fractured rib, but other than all of that she was lucky and would be fine. Fine was not what he considered to be her condition and like all of the other events that she had gone through he hoped that she would not emotionally be broken down. She moaned a bit and tried to turn over in her sleep, though nothing happened and she continued to lie on her back with a morphine drip making her pain nonexistent. His father, Izayoi and even Inuyasha had come to visit her sleeping form. They had gotten her a private room and could do nothing but wait until she awoke to speak with her and his conversation would be the most important because he needed names if she could provide then, but faces would do just as well.

* * *

When he had received the call about Rin he was shocked that (outwardly) something like this would happen to her. Obviously someone was out to destroy her on a personal mission and he knew his son would find whoever was doing this and make them pay. Though he had been in an important meeting with Oyabun Hisayuki, but when he explained it was about his son's girlfriend Rin, the old man relented the meeting to another time and asked to be updated on her condition as soon as he found out. It was surprising and also comforting to know that even without being formally married/bonded to his son, that she was already making herself known to the yakuza community. His daughter-in-law was becoming a force and she wasn't even twenty years old. He went as fast as he could to get there because he knew his son would not react well if tragedy struck the young girl. However, when he arrived at the hospital and talked to his son something happened that he never expected. His thoughts changed course when Izayoi walked through the door. What would he do if something like this would ever happen to her? As he banished the thoughts from his mind he told her what had happened and her condition which made her sigh in relief; yes, he was glad too that he would not have to lead a deranged male demon out of a destroyed lobby this night.

As they sat discussing things his thoughts came back to what he had seen in his son around an hour ago. During the questioning a change had occurred that he knew he would never see again or maybe not until the girl passed on. Inutaisho shared this information with his wife.

"Something happened to my son that I cannot explain. He had always been like his mother with emotions, but when he spoke to me and he lifted his head there were tears building in his eyes."

A sigh escaped him when his wife gasped. Sure, she was not his mother but she knew him well enough to know he showed emotion to no one and today was a special day indeed.

"What is going to happen Inutaisho when the poor girl actually passes on?"

Looking up at the clock ticked away he knew the look on his face was a grim one. His son showed no emotions but to the girl who he loved and that girl was Rin. She had problems, no doubt, but she complimented his son so well; they were a perfect match. His son loved Rin (no matter if he never said it) and today, just like every other time she was hurt, took something away from Sesshomaru.

"His world will cease to right itself because she will no longer be there to balance him. He will not truly live until his life ends, the question is: how long will it take for him to follow her?"

* * *

Later the next evening after he reluctantly attended classes he came back to her room to check on her and found her sitting up in bed watching some program on the television mounted on the wall opposite her bed in the hospital room. When she saw him she smiled and turned off the television set, but that same smile that used to light up her face, faded into nothing. Something had bothered her these days and he had just assumed that she was frightened about the recent occurrence, though it did not look to be that way as of now when he walked over to her and sat in a chair next to the bed. If she feared for her life she would have asked him to stay with her at night and she did not. There had to be something else bothering her. She had already told him the event that had taken place and what the man had looked like. Sesshomaru, in turn, told his father the events and both of them had been on a search for a file photo even remotely resembling the face she had described and as of right now nothing had come about.

"I know something is wrong with you and you are not telling me."

Saying nothing she turned over and pulled the white covers over her aching body and shuffled around under the sheet until pulling out a manila folder and tossing it behind her body for him to look at. He wanted to growl at her, but she had been through enough and obviously this was a yakuza file that she should not have been looking at in the first place. She mumbled a bit before starting to make sense and she told him everything.

"I went to Oyabun Hisayaki's place hoping that he would be able to tell me how to go about finding information on my father. He had a picture on his desk of himself and a man I knew from the faded memories of my childhood. The man in the picture was someone my older brother called 'Uncle'. I asked Oyabun and he told me his name was Sumiyoshi, Yuji and he was part of your rivals the Sumiyoshi-kai. After that I snuck into the library and to the off limit section and found a file on this man my father knew and found out that my father was connected to this man by blood. Then, after I nearly got caught by your father, I found my own father's file. Your dad didn't know about me being a yakuza kid because my last name was changed to protect me…a lot of good that did."

It was a bit of a struggle to piece it all together but he kept on track. Still she had her back turned and he was thankful because he read the same line over and over again in the file: Sumiyoshi-kai member Sumiyoshi, Hiro. Next to his name was a large and red _deceased _stamp. Still, the line jolted him and that was when he smelt tears from her.

"Don't you see Sesshomaru? My life has been a lie. I'm not a Minamoto, I'm a fucking Sumiyoshi. You're dating a girl who is your mortal enemy. My own father was a yakuza member and I didn't even know it. That man, on the ledge, he told me I wouldn't find the whole truth in that file you have, but I'm not sure I care enough anymore."

He had nothing to say to her as he stepped back out of her room and into the hall to absorb everything that had happened and had been said. It was not that he did not accept her; it was that all this new information was a lot to handle. All the time that she had been trying to find out who she was, it had been under their noses the whole time. Damnit! Even as he looked over the file again and again he saw clear a day a jail photo of the man his girlfriend knew as her father. Taking the file with him, he stepped into the fifth floor elevator he took it all the way down until he found the double doors that led outside the hospital. Honestly, he thought she would have had a stronger repulsion to a place that liked a lot of white, like the asylum she had been to. She didn't have a strange reaction, though what she did have was a powerful reaction to not knowing these 'new' things about her father.

Having been leaning on the side of the building, smoking one cigarette after another for the past thirty minutes he was not the least bit surprised when he saw his father and Izayoi come in. Inutaisho sensed his son, whispered to Izayoi who nodded her head and went inside to sit with Rin, while he walked over to his first son. His father was dressed as usual in a nice suit while he, himself was still dressed in his school uniform. The older demon stood next to him watched the crowds of humans walk by and chat candidly with one another. They did not speak for a few minute until Sesshomaru handed his father the very same folder she had given him earlier. He did not look at the Oyabun until he heard him sigh a bit and hand it back to Sesshomaru.

"Damn son, you do know how to pick them don't you? Rin, a daughter of a Sumiyoshi-kai member? Who knew eh?"

Again, nothing was said for a bit until he decided to speak since his father obviously was not going anywhere.

"She believes her whole life to be a lie now."

"I suppose she would. What are you going to do about it son?"

Looking up at his father he said nothing as he grabbed for an object in his pants pocket. It was hard and velveteen in feel, but contained something incredibly precious. Tossing it over to his father he pulled out and lit another cigarette. Inutaisho gasped a bit as he looked at the box's glistening contents.

"You have this a while son?"

"Yes."

The demon gave it back to him, which he stuck back into his pocket for safe keeping.

"You intend to marry her on human terms first?"

"No. I was going to mate with her and then ask, but it seems that it will not come to pass anytime soon because I will be going after these men once we find them. This will have to wait."

He was slapped on the shoulder a bit too hard though he got over it.

"Whatever you decide to do you should do it as soon as you can. I love you boy, but the life we lead does not allow us to make gauged decisions. You may not be able to die from those cancer sticks, but you _can_ still die and many people are gunning for you."

He only had one reply to that statement which made him almost laugh.

"When are they not?"

Before he left the older demon smiled at him, which made Sesshomaru feel a bit proud at the moment.

"We will succeed in finding the people responsible for all that has come to her in the past few days and earlier in her life, you can count on it. It is only a matter of time before the people who keep trying to kill her slip up and we find them."

As he walked up the stairs, taking the long way to think clearer, he could not help his mind wondering to a smiling Rin who thanked him profusely for getting rid of those who harmed her. She had told him that the man who dropped her was the same man whose shoes she saw from under the bed in her room those many, many years ago when she was just a child. Rin had said she would always remember his voice, but she never caught the man's name. No matter, he would find the bastard and skin him alive for his transgressions against the one woman who solely belonged to the Yamaguchi-gumi. He needed to keep her feeling secure and happy for as long a possible. So, stepping up to her bed he lightly drug his finger through her hair as he spoke hoping she would understand.

"I have done some thinking and I want you to know that I know why your father did what he did to you. I am much like him in this aspect. He never told you the truth because he was trying to get away from that life, so he completely left everything one day and made you his priority. He was protecting you Rin and he tried so hard to keep it from you and he succeeded…to an extent. However, he did not know that I would be here to help you pick up the pieces and help you understand everything. There are days when I wish I could close my eyes and in a solitary moment you would be happy again without the pain of knowing who and what I am and without having to of lived through the tragedy of your childhood. I cannot do this, but I will do something else for you. I will make sure that you find peace and that you will be happy."

They did not have much to talk about the following day that she was hospitalized. She did her homework and had him help her when she had troubles with it. She slept, watched TV and fell asleep as often as possible holding his hand tightly while she dreamt. The solitary and beautiful creature he looked upon was constantly being bombarded with death and destruction and he knew he was part of the reason for all of this, but he would be damned if she was without him as long as these people were still trying to kill her. Her damn father had brought the knowledge of his whereabouts through the uncle/friend that he allowed in his home a few times. Obviously, the people who were looking for him found him this way and wasted no time getting rid of everything in their wake. However, one question remained as she held one of his hands and the other smoothed over the surface of the ring in hi pants pocket: why would they want to kill such a low level man such as Rin's father? After all, he was only the yakuza blood relative of Sumiyoshi, Yuji a lieutenant right?

* * *

Often her mind would take it upon itself to visit faraway lands and visit place she had never been before and she was used to it, but when her mind functioned normally it was a bit harder for her to grasp onto even though she was desperate to try. Right now, as she lay in the hospital bed listening to the tale tell sound of the minute hand ticking away on a nearby wall clock, she could not help but wonder if this was a life she was cut-out for. In the beginning, those year ago when she was young, filled with hope, and a little bit less level headed, she wanted so much to make their relationship work, but all of _that_ was before all of _this_ had happened. Still she had described the man who had hurt her to him, but still she gave him no name though he gave her a look that showed he was surprised…like he knew who she was talking about. But he hadn't said a thing to her, did he know? He couldn't possibly know this, no she hadn't told him. This was her business and she was determined to fix it. She loved him, truly more than anything she had in her life, though now while watching him asleep in the chair next to her, she contemplated all that she was doing to him.

All of the things she was doing to him were obviously taking a toll. Honestly, look at him he was actually sleeping because he was physically exhausted from worrying about her every moment of everyday; demons do not need sleep and the way he was acting lately you would never know that. Granted that she would have perished if he had not found her that fateful day or rescued her like he had done countless times after that and she was so very grateful, but when everything comes crashing down, like it had recently done, she was beginning to wonder if this life was for her or if putting him through this was something she wanted to do. If she were to ask him if she was being a burden he would of course say 'no'. This, however, she knew would be a lie for she was witnessing a man who had enough to deal with in his life with schooling and wanting to please his father with all of his 'jobs' that needed to be done and all while trying to keep her sanity in check. Those years ago she could not understand why her grandmother put her in the asylum, but for this one moment she was thinking clearly, she now understood. It was hard to take care of someone who could never really take care of themselves.

With this epiphany in mind she felt like everyone she was around had to put up with her and what had happened. It was something she knew she couldn't help, but maybe she could help the fact that she was putting him through it when he already had more than enough to look after. She was someone he didn't need in his life; after all, she was the only reason (at the moment) that others were after him. Sighing she found herself slowly sitting up and flinging her legs over the side of the bed and sitting on its edge. There was nothing much to see except for the large moon that hung in the cloudless sky, but since they were in Tokyo, the stars were hidden by the obtrusive bright city lights and could not be seen even with a squint of the eye. No matter when the moon was beautiful and she had enough space between her and the outside world to feel a bit of calm during her internal storm. All of her thoughts ceased when she felt the bed next to her dip down a then felt a hand around her waist with a light kiss to her exposed neck.

She did revel in it if only for a little while. Still she wanted to discuss with him the future between the two of them even when tonight was not the best night to be asking serious questions. Rin was determined to tell him all of her thoughts and then tell him that she was just going to leave him alone from now on, they would break apart and he would not have to take care of her for the rest of her life because she was not able to do anything in life accept convert oxygen to carbon dioxide. Of course others might see this as self pity but it was not that at all. She knew what she was doing to him and knew that with his occupation he could not constantly be looking at for her instead of himself. Feeling a bit of resolve she sucked in a large breath before she spoke to him. With that she proceeded to tell him everything she had been feeling and what she had also been thinking and after she was done she awaited what he had to say and she was prepared to fight him about breaking up, but he only looked at her for a bit and then spoke with the softest tones she had ever heard him use.

"If these feelings are truly your own then I cannot stop you from doing something you are set on doing, however, I will tell you that I am here to help you get passed your previous experiences in your life. Though I do know that your illnesses will not be leaving you for the rest of your life one another thing I also know that it is with my own determination that I help you live as best as you can with them. I can fully understand why one such as yourself would want to leave and I know you appreciate what I do for you and that is why you want to leave. You want to leave not because you are bored with us, not because you feel inadequate or angry, but because you believe I cannot handle keeping you sane along with everything else I deal with in my life. I have something to tell you dear Rin: I deal with deaths' threat everyday and yes, you have made things interesting for me to say the least, but all of these things make my own life worthwhile. Just because you do not hear of them does not mean I am receiving the possibility of nonexistence. Do you not see that even with the flaws we both share, we make each other's lives worth living to their fullest? Am I correct?"

Rin was surprised about the amount of things he had to say, but one thing she could not deny was that even with all the hell she put him through she still enjoyed being with him more than anything. So, facing him as best she could she nodded her head and listened to what he had to say next.

"Again, feel free to object to anything I say, all the while know that even if I don't say how I feel about you enough you know that I am here to protect you and reciprocate any feeling you have for me…I hope you are understanding what I mean."

Amazing to think that in a round about way he was saying that he loved her even though she never needed to hear him say it. They stayed like that until she grew tired and rested her head on his shoulder at the sun came up in bursts of bright orange and light reds. She felt him kiss her short and sweet on the lips before she heard him say something that made her want to smile, if she hadn't been so exhausted.

"I will give you everything you ever ask of me and one day we will have our solace that I can promise you. You will live with peace even if I have to die trying."

The only thing she could not help but think about as she dreamt was the question she had posed to him that night.

"_If I asked you to let me go, would you?"_

His answer had obviously been a no, but she now knew that he didn't want her to go. He wanted her to stay with him because in a way they made each other complete and kept one another sane. In a crazed way he helped her and she helped him even though, for now at least, they both had prices on their heads. Sure, maybe he would not be in as much trouble as he was now with being an acquaintance of hers, but there was no one she would rather go down fighting with, than the one she slept next to that very night.

* * *

The very next morning he found himself sitting in the waiting room while she went through some more tests to make sure she was able to be released in a few more days. And in that waiting room he sat, on the phone, with the quietness around him in nothing but a grey tank top and a pair of old blue jeans. Nurses had come around to frequent the glass doors and spy on him, but he paid not attention since the conversation on his phone was way more important than the looks of woman who held no importance to him. Most assuredly the markings all over his back and those on his arms would give him away and still it seemed that he was a bit of a show for these staff members even with the threat of who he was plainly written all over him. While on the phone with his father about the whereabouts of the bastard that had hurt Rin a young couple led in their son who had to be at least five years old and without paying attention to who they left him with, they walked a few paces down the hallway to the teller.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched the child look around for toys and had to of been disappointed when all he spotted were grown-up magazines on the table in the middle of the room. It was early today; only around eight o' clock, so not many visitors had arrived yet since the visiting hours had not began until ten. There the quietness reigned and he had to watch his language when his father informed him that there was no progress on finding the man who had injured Rin.

"Father, Rin had recently told me some information that I believe will be useful in our search. However, I will only tell you when I return home later tonight. I do not wish to speak about such sensitive things to her out in the middle of a hospital. I-"

"Hey, Mister?"

Hearing the small voice he tried to ignore it, he was never good with children and at this moment he did not need to deal with a nuisance such as this one. And again the child spoke to him and this time tugged on his shirt as well. Telling his father to wait a moment or two on the phone he looked down at the child and glared at him hoping he would go away, still he stayed and only spoke some more.

"You know you don't look too nice. Mister, I just had a question."

Sesshomaru wanted to growl because he heard his father laughing through the phone.

"What do you want?"

He had spoken in such a harsh tone the child jumped a bit, but other than he crawled himself up into the light blue plastic chair and sat kicking his legs back and forth looking up at Sesshomaru with wonder in his eyes.

"Hey mister, are you a demon?"

Letting out a small growl he then answered the child.

"Yes."

The child was a quintessential Japanese human with black hair and brown eyes, but this made him wonder if it were at all possible for Rin to have looked this way when she was younger. The same chubby cheeks, the same toothed smiled and curiosity? Well, the one thing he knew was that she had to of had the same innate curiosity and maybe more than she should have. The child seemed to be done questioning him and so he sighed and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and had begun talking to his father again when he felt another tug on his shirt.

"What is it?"

The young child pointed to his back.

"What are those pictures on your back? They're pretty."

For fuck's sake they were not pretty (unless it was Rin touching them and scoring his back with her nails when they fucked) and he did not need a child touching him, for they were a powerhouse full of germs and illnesses.

"They are of a demon warrior, a samurai."

The child did not seem to understand what he was saying and frankly he did not care, though he continued to sit there and ask questions.

"I like them. I'm here to see my pop-pop. Who are you here to see?"

Looking over to see if the nurse had come yet to inform him that he could go in, he sighed, and looked back at the boy.

"My girlfriend."

He looked a bit sad by his next question.

"My mom says pop-pop is really sick, is your girlyfriend sick to?"

He only need think for a second before answering.

"In a way, yes."

"Oh. Is she nice?"

There was no waiting to answer that one and he smiled a bit.

"She is very nice."

Sesshomaru then realized he must have shown the boy a fang or two because that was his next question.

"Wow! Are you a demon too?"

"Yes."

"Neat! I wanna be a demon too! They are scary and my friends would like me even better!"

The child then proceeded to run around in front of him with his arms out like a bird making growling and roaring sounds. Though Sesshomaru had never seen any demon act like that he decided to let the matter go and spoke with his father a few seconds more and then hung up just as the child stood in front of him.

"My name is Shingo, what's yours?"

Giving the boy a straight look since he really felt the nurse should be coming around soon or even his parents, he waited a bit and when no one came, he answered.

"Sesshomaru."

With failure the little boy repeated his name and his face scrunched up here and there to try and for the obviously complicated word.

"Seeshumaru."

At that moment he relieved a sigh when he saw the nurse coming forward and along with the boy's parents. She batted her eyes at him and smiled telling him that he could go an see Rin now and while he was walking down the hall towards the elevator he heard the young boy speaking to his parents about the 'demon man' he had just met. Shaking his head he made his way to her room and something besides the boy occupied his mind, it was the idea of Rin bearing his own children. Would they look like her? Would they have her sweet smile or her deep eyes? Coming upon her room and quietly opening the door he found her curled up in a tight fetal position with her struggling to keep her eyes open to look upon him and smile. With a rough morning voice she spoke.

"I knew you would come. Sorry it took so long before the nurse could come and get you, we had a mishap earlier during my physical therapy with the crutches. My back started hurting me and they gave me pain medication, though it has yet to kick in. Can you come and hold my hand?"

Stepping up to her he asked her to lie on her stomach and stretch out. Placing the blankets over her he then sat alongside the bed. He could tell she was in pain it seemed that it was all he was good at bringing her.

"I can do something better than that, lovely."

He then began smoothing his hand up and down her back with just a small amount of pressure to focus the pain not on her lower back but where his hand was trailing along the length of her spine. Noticing that the pain medication had come to fruition he still continued to rub her back while she slept, breathing deeply and in complete relaxation.

Sometimes he forgot how independent she was and he liked that about her, though he always worried about her and with these people coming after her it was a lot worse, he still enjoyed her being able to go on without him, for he felt that it was important that this happen when he, himself felt that maybe he would no be around that long to see her through life. Would it be so hard to find out who had done this to her? It seemed that way. After the talk with his father he was a bit pissed, but nothing would beat the death of those who had forever plagued her dreams and who had made her life a living hell. His Rin had absolutely no need for nightmares, because she lived through her hell everyday and would continue to do so until he personally dealt with that problem the only way he knew how: with a gun.

* * *

A/N: How'd you like it? Be truthful. Oh the same man from ch.5 who was spying on Rin is back….DUN DUN DUN! Too bad poor Sess can't get her to tell him names! Poo! Mwahaha everything is starting to come together so nicely and there's only more to come! YEH! So, we'll get to see more about this whole 'Rin's father' dilemma in the coming chapters, so keep checking for updates on this puppy. Only a few more chapters to go until the end.


	13. Auspicious Cessation

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 12:_

_Auspicious Cessation_

A/N: Just wanted to let all of you out there know that after this chapter there is are only two left and then it's DONE! Oh no what will happen? You gotta read. Anyway, have fun with this one because I know I did. Listened to a lot of Green Day near the end of this chapter, so yup you'll see what I mean when you get there. Btw, yes another poem! WOOT! I also know that the format of said poem may be odd, but it's the actual format so yeah…get to reading I'll stop bothering you.

* * *

"**What I'm Saying"**

Gregory Orr

What I'm saying isn't exactly news

and to say it bluntly is no big deal:

once you decide to live, you have to lose.

But what if you could simply refuse

by claiming that life itself isn't real?

What I'm saying isn't exactly news-

the Buddhist's think this world, hooked on adieus,

is just red dust. If that's true, why feel

that having to live you also have to lose?

Well, because we're bodies, bodies whose

mortal bruise is time's kiss and time's seal.

What I'm saying isn't exactly news.

The luckiest among us live in twos.

Yet love has tied them to a burning wheel

once they decide to live. They have to lose

because time's only tempo is the blues.

It's what we're born to, what our prayers conceal.

What I'm saying isn't exactly news-

once you decide to live, you have to lose.

* * *

**Having **been a good number of weeks after her release from the hospital, it wasn't a surprise that he would volunteer to take her books for her and help her get to class on time. He definitely was a good boyfriend but after a few too many days of him watching every movement she would make and asking her if she hurt too much made her just about ready to hit the end of her psychological rope. There seriously needed to be a limit on how much someone would be able to worry about another person. Yeesh, this man just did not know when to leave her be. Goodness, she loved him more than anything but she needed some time alone. This is exactly what she addressed to him as he helped her into his car later that day after school. Slowly she guided her swollen ankle and her braced arm into his car and awaited him to get into the other side. He said nothing until they were a bit down the road headed to her home.

"I understand you wish to have space and so I will give it to you. If you have felt this way for a while, why did you not say anything before?"

They had hit a red light and so Rin decided it was time to speak again even though she was talking to her lap instead of to his face.

"I know I should have said something but you seemed happy doing all of these things for me, so I didn't want to ruin anything for you. I'm sorry."

He turned her head towards him just as out of the corner of her eye she saw the light hit green.

"I assure you it is quite alright with me. We both have some studying to do for finals together. Have you forgotten that they are in a couple of weeks? Then, when I am finished with those you can help me pick out our apartment. Does that sound good?"

She didn't say anything she just shook her head and smiled at him. He had leaned in to kiss her but someone honked their horn behind them and he pulled away sharply to keep his eyes on the road.

* * *

Rin had been staring at the same history page for around fifteen minutes straight because she could not for the life of her get herself to concentrate. Sure, she knew she needed to study hard to get good grades that would help her get into Tokyo U. with Sesshomaru, but she would be damned if she was going to lie to herself about being happy with him. He had said earlier today that he still wanted to pick out an apartment with her. It was a special thing due to the fact that he had told her this was something they would do two years ago and she doubted he would remember or that they would be together this long to see it through. But now here she was starring at the same word 'war' for fifteen minutes and not really caring.

She would be moving in with him and able to be around him more often after he got back from his jobs. She could come home after school and not have to worry about whether he would know to come and help her with her work. They could both work towards being who they wanted to be in life and she could be happy knowing that every night he was sleeping right beside her. He was her anchor in life and soon, so soon, she would be comfortable again like when she was young and her parents protected her. Life could only become even richer if she could just keep all of these good things happening. Shaking out of her reverie when she heard the front door to the house close, she knew it had to be her grandmother. Then, it made her think seriously about what she was going to do.

Was she really going to leave her grandmother all alone in this house knowing that there were probably still going to be people coming after her? And now the seed of doubt had been planted and she knew she needed to discuss this with the older woman and soon. But, as for right now she would study hard and later tonight she would talk to her grandmother and see if she was alright with it. Of course her grandmother was the only link she had to her family and she knew the woman cared, she just never knew how to deal with Rin when she 'went away' into her own little realm. It was alright though, because Rin knew that the woman loved her she just had a limit that she could deal with at the age of eighty, that was all and Rin was constantly riding that limit, this she knew.

The night came fluidly running over the bright sky of the day like runny paint down a wet wall. Now she sat in front of her grandmother at the kitchen table watching for a reaction to the news she was just given. Would it end on a bad note between them because of this one choice? Would she forever be shunned by her grandmother because she no longer wished to live her with all of the pasts' memories? What she didn't expect was her grandmother to look at her and sigh a bit, but she shook her head to signal that it was fine before she rose from the table.

"I knew this day would come one way or another, I knew. I do not like the man you have chosen, but if you are anything like your mother and that you are indeed, then you will do just fine on your own with this boy."

She flicked her wrist at Rin for her to follow behind as they both walked towards her bedroom. Rin had no idea what was going on but she blindly followed anyway and sat where the older woman told her to sit: on the edge of the bed. There she waited until she watched her grandmother turn around from the clothes drawer she had been rifling through to pull out a dark brown leather bond large book. Sitting herself next to Rin she cracked it open and the page was obviously worn, but also had a very unique and dear picture in it. Rin never had pictures of her family but obviously her grandmother did and now she looked upon sections of pictures of her family. Passing it over and into Rin's lap the older woman started pointing things out to Rin as her fingers glided over the photos like thinking if she touched them just enough her family would be real again.

"This is what I was saying to you earlier. You are more like your mother than you know. She got married young, to your father, and I didn't like him either, but they made it work and gave me two sweet grandchildren. This is there wedding photo."

There the mother from her memories and thoughts was, pasted onto a yellowing piece of paper smiling for all of the world to see in a traditional gorgeous cream colored kimono. It was simple, but that was enough for Rin's mother to make look like a shining and expensive ball gown. Her hand was through her husband's arm and he too looked just as thrilled in a neat and black Western style tuxedo with a tie to match her mother's dress. How happy they looked in this moment; forever captured in a state of bliss and not knowing what was in store for them later down the road. Her grandmother showed her pictures from when her older brother was little and she even had one of Rin, herself as an infant and then, nothing else. She told Rin of the memories she had and the fun times she had raising her mother. Everything seemed so happy until the older woman slid the book back into its place in her drawer and turning towards the clock.

"It is time for me to take to my bed for the night."

Rin smiled at her and wished her a goodnight and she was about to close the door behind her carefully so as not to knock into her injured arm or foot when she heard her grandmother call her name. Leaning back into the room she say her covered up at in the sheets while she leaned over and placed her glasses on the nightstand next to her bed when she began to speak.

"I told you that I did not like that boy you are with, but I didn't tell you why. He is like your father with the whole mafia vibe and I don't want what happened to my daughter to happen to my granddaughter. But, I suppose the boy does have a bit of brains to him. He pointed out a few things to me one day and I just feel you should know that I love you dear and I'll always care for you if you should ever need anything…Goodnight."

Shocked a bit at all that had happened for the past hour, she lightly closed the door and led herself (more like limped to relieve the pain from each step) up to her room. Turning off the lamp at her desk she crawled into bed and felt the contrast between the stuffy midnight air and the coolness of the sheets she was buried in to relax. She had relaxed, for sure, but now she had something new to smile about: she was in love; she was going to help chose an apartment with her boyfriend and she had made up with her grandmother. Obviously things weren't the best between them still but it was progress; the most progress they had made with one another since she had come to live here. It was not by any means a 100% win, but they were getting there and the effort was what counted.

* * *

Still there was an initial shock of her own grandmother helping her discover her family lineage and also helping to quell the raging waters that had once been between them. Now though she accepted the older woman's help and now embraced the little time they were able to spend together during her studies for finals. Since her grandmother was a history buff of sorts, she helped Rin study for those history exams and other times she would go to Sesshomaru's after her study sessions and while her grandmother was away she would meet up with him and spend some time together. True, they had not been able to spend much time together, but they made the best out of the situation, after all if she held out she would be able to let out a sigh of relief and help him pick out their first apartment which gave her cause to study hard so that she too, could get into Tokyo U. It had been both her and her mother's dream to go there and Rin wanted to fulfill it, but then again having a hot boyfriend attend the same school was more of an incentive to do exemplary in school as well.

It was just another simple day of studying after school with her nose to the text in front of her, with a quick hand to write down notes that she thought might be important to the up and coming exams when she heard a noise at the entryway to her house. Her grandmother had been out to get groceries that evening, so it was probably just her, which she was a bit later than normal but what else was new? Deciding that it must be the cause of the noises she went back to studying and gave no notice to what was going on around her until it was too late. There she sat in her small wooden chair her tiny shorts covering her legs but giving way to her skin creating goose bumps and when she bent down to soothe a hand over them she noticed a shadow loom over her. She immediately recognized the combat boots in front of her before she felt a sickening pain on the back of her head and then everything was silent and black.

When she awoke she did it in a calm fashion. There was no need to freak out when you didn't know who had you or where you where. The best thing to do was to try and stay calm and assess your situation and find out as much as you could during the time that you were alone. However, when Rin awoke she tried to sit up but nothing was happening. So, she laid there for a while. Underneath her she felt softness, like cotton, and a pillow under her head. Yep, obviously she was in a bed. Why could she not see this? Well, it was dark as hell in there. Looking around would not help much, but her deep breaths told her that she must have been in either a low level of a building or in a basement of some kind because the smell of mildew and sour water met her nose and she twisted her face in recognition. When she had tried to sit up she felt her legs and arms wrapped up in bandages that, when she pulled on them, made a clank against the metal frame of the bed. In that instant as the metallic clang sounded in her ears she wanted to cry. Rin tried to keep it together, but it was hard to do so when your life is spent trying to forget that you were locked away in an institution that often tied you to a bed to keep you from hurting "either yourself or others", as they would say.

There she laid taking deep breaths and trying to calm herself down from the inside out. With the dank smells assaulting her and with her eyes close because it was utterly dark and her eyes proved no use. She needed to conserve her energy. Without it and with prolonged struggling and moving around she might not be able to use it when the time came for an escape, so she took solace in the one place she knew she could get it: her mind. Sure, it was dangerous to do so, but if things were going to happen to her, of which she did not know, then she might as well be in the one place where the outsiders didn't matter. This quiet place that kept her mentally insane however, also kept her from thinking about things around her. There she waited in her mind as she placed happier thoughts there like her times with Sesshomaru and other times with his family. Just when she was about to loose herself she heard a door open near the far end of the room and boots thud down steps. So, the room had steps a few feet directly in front of the bed and a door that led up. And Rin counted 1, 2, 3, and so on. She kept count of how many steps there were and even the steps of the person as they neared her until they stopped; 15 steps to reach her from the door. Then, the man spoke to her right next to her ear as if he was trying to be sadistic and overpowering, but it would not work again. She knew him just by his voice; it was the bastard from the rooftop, the one who tried to push her to her death: Hiroyuki.

"I'm sure this might remind you of your past, no Rin?"

She felt herself chuckle at his statement. After all, she was mad and she could not let him see that she might, in the very least, be scared of him. He would not get that pleasure.

"I suppose you must have gotten a good reprimand from your boss, no? Maybe a finger or two came off for your insubordination in the failure to get rid of me?"

This time she felt a hand grab her chin and yank in up towards another face where she felt breath dance across her cheeks.

"I bet you had no idea I was a half demon as well Rin, so my eyesight is excellent. It happens that right now my boss has nothing to do with you because he does not know we have you yet, though he will soon enough. In the meantime I could always break you down if you do not close that lovely mouth of yours."

She then said nothing to him as he pushed her head back down into the mattress. She wanted desperately to be able to see him though she also knew that it was wise not to say anything at this point because he could get angry with her and injure her which might cause her escape to fail. So, she did as he had asked…for now that is. Rin was never one to give up on something, but she desperately needed to get out or to have someone know that she had been kidnapped. Damnit, where was her fucking boyfriend when she needed him? A dip formed in the bed where he sat down next to her and began to stroke her arm. Desperately she wanted to yell at him or otherwise harm him in some way, but she held herself at bay and dealt with the disgusting feeling of his fingers gliding along her skin.

"I suppose you are wondering where your dear little Yamaguchi is? Well, I have to say that he is a very stupid man for letting you stay all by yourself. Otherwise, he is caught up at the moment with some of our members, so I doubt he will be here in any amount of time to come for you."

This statement caused her mind to halt all of its processes and though she wanted to yell at him, again, she kept to herself. Though she did close her eyes and concentrate on his energy and tried to contact him through her own pure willpower. He had once told her, when he had spoken to her about mating, that once a bond was formed they could feel one another's pain and also, in rare occasions "call" the other if there in need of help. Though she knew she would _never_ be able to feel him, she knew that because he had demon senses that just maybe he would know that she was under duress and come to find her. He just needed her scent, something he knew well, so she concentrated as hard as she could on calling out to him. Even going as far as to ignore whatever the hell was coming from the jerk that sat near her. He became angry and broke the link she was trying to form, but she hoped it had been enough to contact him. Now, all she could do was wait.

* * *

Sesshomaru had been scoping out the territory that he needed to be familiar with later in the day for a kill. While looking around the top of the building something thumped behind him and when he turned around he found three men starring holes right through him. Of course something would have to go wrong today. They were not normal, they were half demons. Making a quick decision he set off in a dead run and ran from building to building hoping that he would lose them or at the very least separate them so as to pick them off one by one. There was no doubt where they were from because the markings of Sumiyoshi-rengo were marked across the side of each of their necks. Why were they after him? Should they not be after Rin? Why now did they decide to come after him? And as her name rang through his mind he felt a pressure build on his chest, like a weight, and as it punched his chest he tripped along the roof, but quickly regained his footing. He knew he had to get to her because something was wrong. He had told her about what he could feel once they were mated and obviously she had concentrated enough to give it a try and now she was in trouble. So, turning around he skidded to a halt at the side of the building and watched as all three of them descended down upon him, though he knew none of them would be winning tonight for he had an important woman to attend to.

* * *

And she waited and waited as she listened to his mouth run on and on about how many people he had killed and how he had killed each one of them. She was not scared however, because she knew Sesshomaru had done much worse and would do much more to this man than he had any one else. Receding into her mind she smiled to herself as memories of past days flashed through her mind's eye. Like the year when they had been snowed in at his house from a freak snowstorm that smashed the Tokyo coast. They had kept warm by him holding her all night in his lap I the living room in front of the fireplace. How they were found the next morning by his father who she had woken up to starring at her, which freaked her out and she knocked her head into Sesshomaru's chin. Being shook from her reverie she felt her arms being taken from the wraps and being jerked by her arm out of the bed. She almost let out a yelp but he kept a very tight grip on her arm.

"If you try anything I have permission to break _something_ on you."

When she stepped into the blinding white light of the hallway her eyes burned and her pupils struggled to assess her surroundings through blurred visions of movement and little color. The tiles were white and the walls were as such also. This place felt like a damn hospital and if anything she needed to clear her head so as to remember in case she had a chance to flee. At first he tugged on her arm hard, but when she stopped tripping over herself and her cast he released his grip on her already injured arm and had the two large demons behind her close in and make sure she went no where. After taking the stairs up a flight and passing a total of twelve doors they suddenly stopped and it looked like every other ordinary wood door that she had ever seen, but deep down she knew there was something menacing being harbored behind it; a devil so to speak, but a devil to her and a saint to those surrounding her.

Hiroyuki pushed the door open for her after knocking and receiving no answer, there she was met with an extremely large room sparsely furnished and also all white that is except for the tall black leather chair that someone obviously occupied. It was funny, she pictured the devil to come in any color but white and somehow the irony made sense if only for a split second before the bulky men behind pushed her forward past the threshold of the door and it slammed loudly behind her. In a room with two large men, one killer and a man she knew all too well from his photo and her life's memories. There in the chair she expected what she found when he chuckled and turned around to face her.

"Hello there my dear girl, did the hired hand keep you in good company?"

At first she said nothing and out of the corner of her eye she saw the movement of the 'hired hand' next to her and so she was able to duck and avoid Hiroyuki's grasp that came for her neck.

"You will answer when spoken to, lovely."

The next thing she knew after she had heard his words and ducked for the hand coming at her, she was punched in the gut. By a half-demon no less that had inflicted pain on her and this pain was worse than any human male could dish out. Her groan fell on deaf ears as all of the men joined their Oyabun in a hardy laugh at her expense. From her bent over position she glared at the man feet from her and she knew it connected when he moved in his seat a bit.

"Don't you EVER call me that!"

Thankfully she had learned something useful from Sesshomaru besides all of the kick ass skills that were useless at the moment; she had been with him so much that she had mastered his glare, but always with a little sinister twist of her own. She watched as he chuckled darkly at her and steeple his fingers on the cold metal desk in front of him. What a prick thinking that he was going to scare her. There was no doubt that she was totally scared, but she also knew that if she died (she probably would) she would go happily and with the knowledge that she had lived her life the best she could and loved just as hard. Flipping out of her thoughts she awaited him to speak again and eventually he did it was just not what she expected.

"I wish to ask you a question, Rin. Do you remember me?"

At first she decided not to grace him with an answer and then she again dodged another one of the half-demon's punches. Sure, he was a half-demon and faster than her slow human reactions, but he did not seem to remember that she was dating one and fast moves were the specialty of a demon trying to help you learn combat skills, so you had to be good no matter what. Less you get taken again in combat you learn again and again from each mistake and this demon was much slower than Sesshomaru, but when she did not pay attention he would catch her and this could be a very bad ending for her if she did not pay attention. Sadly enough the only way in or out of the current room was a one way kind of exit. Sighing quietly to herself, she knew she could not possibly take on two large and bulky males and also one half-demon and one crazed Oyabun, so she was stuck and she would be dead after he had no use for her. Rin might as well come face to face with the man that killed her family and just maybe she would get a chance to stab him with that nice and neatly silvered fountain pen in the eye before anyone else in the room got the wiser and before they, in-turn, killed her. She was absolutely ready to die if it meant taking this bastard with her.

"Yes, I remember you. My brother called you Uncle when we were merely children. However, I never thought of you as an uncle, you just didn't ever fit the role. Now I know why, you kill people."

His laugh came back ten times harsher and still the men joined in with him until he stopped.

"My dear girl, your precious Sesshomaru kills people and you do not share such a look of hate as you are giving me with him. No?"

Her glare centered on him again when she spoke, though this time she took a step forward and got away with it. Good now all she needed to do was get close enough to reach that shiny, silver object, a pen, laying precariously on the right edge of his desk

"Difference is that my boyfriend does not kill those I love. As a matter of fact only YOU and Hiroyuki have done that."

"That is true, but you need to know something. I am indeed your Uncle by blood but you also need to know the true story of your father and not what you have found in some obscured and unknowledgeable article in the filthy Yamaguchi's records."

She said not a word and stepped ever closer to his desk acting as if she were interested in what he had to say. Indeed she may have been if only a little, but as he spoke she found herself getting closer _because_ she was interested in what he had to stay. Still, she was keeping an eye on the pen near his desk, but tried not to call so much attention to it.

"Your dear father was not as innocent in the world. Your father was very influential to me when we were children. You see, I wanted to be just like him. Granted his father wanted him to be the heir of the empire and not me, the whore's son that he frequented in the late night hours. Never did he call me his son, but everyone, including myself knew the truth. Oddly he allowed your father and I to see one another and to play. All through high school I strived to be just like him and then Father mentioned a successor.-

Just as he opened his mouth to speak a guard yelled from the door outside and a wretched scream was emitted by several men next. The small wooden door busted open and in that instant Rin noticed the silver haired demon standing there with blood on his hands and blood strewn across the walls behind him. Sesshomaru looked like a warrior out of his time, but she knew for a fact he fit right in with this time and with her. The men next to him were stunned and just as he was about to attack the two large males standing in front of him, she quickly grabbed the pen from the desk and in an instant struck him in the cheek with it. However, it merely scratched him because Hiroyuki, the half demon, grabbed her arm and ripped it away from her and with the other hand grabbed her around the neck. Behind her she heard Inutaisho speak to Sesshomaru and tell him to calm down. When she looked over she found a large number of heavily armed men with semi-automatic weapons standing guard around the two male demons to make sure not a move was made. Damn, these men were fast. Surely they could not hold off two strong demons, but as she watched Inutaisho whisper to his son she knew they were tied-up with trying to keep themselves alive. She knew that just one well placed bullet was needed to end both of their lives, but they had to have another plan…right? She was pushed back in front of the Oyabun and she heard Sesshomaru growl behind her. Rin only had enough sight as she could gain from her regular vision alone because this blasted half-demon would not remove his hand from her neck or arm so as to have control over all of her movements.

"Ah, you are a feisty one my dear. I am afraid that others have decided to crash our meeting. Oh well, before all of you die do you not think they would enjoy hearing your sad, sad little story my Rin? It's a good thing you are all here at once, it saves me the trips to your homes and all of that bloody mess."

The demon stood up from his chair and paced a bit behind his desk. She could not believe that he had shaken hands with the nice old Hisayaki Oyabun. Taka did not know about this side of him…did he? She surely hoped the hell not. Yuji Sumiyoshi, or who her brother had called Uncle those years ago, was the man behind the death of her father? But had they not been cousins like Hisayaki had said?

"I talked to Hisayaki Oyabun and he spoke of you and my father being cousins."

A laugh rang out with tinges of anger and disgust and she knew Sesshomaru and Inutaisho must have been confused, but she paid no attention. If she were to die right here and now she wanted to know the answers and obviously he had some new insight.

"That old man is a damn fool. Plus, when he was still with the notion that I was his friend and confidant we had both decided to tell others that we were cousin's, not brothers. However, of course you know that already. Those 'files' are lies young Rin. See this is an example of not believing everything you read. Now, back to the current matter, I may have been only your father's half-brother (for those who just rudely interrupted) in secret, but the day ended the admiration I used to share when our father chose your father Sumiyoshi, Hiro to take over. Although, he changed his name later in life to Hiro Minamoto I knew who he was; the man who took everything from me. He was born the second son, I was the first and should have been named successor, not your wretched father!"

To stunned at first, she finally spoke.

"Wha- what?"

A loud growl erupted from Sesshomaru when her apparent half-Uncle grabbed her chin and snapped her head up to meet his eyes.

"You stupid child, our father was the Sumiyoshi, Makoto- Oyabun of the Sumiyoshi-rengo and he gave the privilege to lead to your father and not me. Blasted Hiro became Sumiyoshi Oyabun when he was merely twenty years old! Your father used to be Oyabun you insolent child!"

After his yelling everything went silent and she knew her look was surprised. She knew her father had been part of the yakuza but to be an Oyabun? That meant that she was…a princess of the mafia? The next words she accidentally spoke out loud.

"Holy shit."

His hand swiped away from her face as he stepped back in front of his desk and sat back down in his leather seat. The only thought she had was now her mother must have known because all those questions she had about money and his clothes finally made sense. He had loads of money, but never wanted to advertise it. He had tattoos and didn't want his kids to get suspicious or say things about them when it was not allowed. So many things made sense now.

"Yes, but I needed to end all of that. You see your father did not take notice to my hatred because a year or two later he met this poor girl who owned a flower shop a few blocks down from the Sumiyoshi headquarters. And this woman wanted a rich life and he, after five years of dating her, said nothing about his true occupation. He ran things smoothly at first, but then I began to suspect that he wanted more peace between every faction than was necessary. He began to care about the bitch more than the family and he needed to go. So, eventually he did leave, but the bastard would not give me power, he gave it to some old bastard and left just like that you have a normal life. I grew furious with his ignorant decision making and soon learned that he had progeny, changed his family name to Minamoto and had a happy life. He had disrespected the Sumiyoshi name by changing his own name therefore, forsaking our lineage and strong family. So, to get the Oyabun status I needed to end the dynasty that was still there I sent some men along with Hiroyuki to get rid of everything he was and everyone he loved. Although, I have to say that it was sad to know he was dead and his lineage was broken. However, it was too bad that some insignificant speck of a child somehow stayed alive even during the fire. It took a bit of work, but I found where you lived, who you knew, and who you loved. I took my time scoping you out and now I can get rid of you once and for all to reclaim my position rightfully by annihilating everything you are and whoever you associate with; it just so happens that I can kill two factions today instead of the one measly girl I had started with."

To say she was ashamed was an understatement. Sure, she had known she was Sumiyoshi-kai but she also had no idea until now the extent that her father had taken on the business. That meant that naturally, she would be the next one in line and that was why he needed to get rid of her. Everything made sense now. The men in her room killed her family and she was 'the one that got away', the loose end in the plan for her uncle to take over. Minamoto, Rin was the snag in his plan and she knew she had to, logically, be eliminated for her plan to work because is anyone outside of this room were to find out a mutiny would be a high possibility, because according to her uncle he was liked very much until his departure from the group. Never had she dreamed her life would end up like this and the extent to how she was tied to the mafia was more massive than that of just a boyfriend, no wonder she fell in love with a yakuza, she was one herself.

A small smile was what she gave in the face of his anger and scrutiny and obviously he did not take kindly to her no longer trembling in fear. Rin knew for a fact that even though she was different now, that her father was once a yakuza lord, that she finally knew who she was. Even if she were going to die it was nice to finally put an identity to who she truly was. Obviously, her father had built an empire instilled with all of the qualities she remembered him telling both her and her brother and it was kind of nice to feel peace for a change yet in the face of certain danger she could find no fault with her father. Her father was who she knew him to be and he was kind, filled with laughter, obviously loved her mother and his children, and fell from a life of crime that had left him and made a choice to become a father and not a gangster. His empire that he had worked so hard to build had forsaken him and little did he know that his own step-brother had been the one to orchestrate his demise. Rin's poor father deserved to have his name cleared and even cherished. Minamoto or Sumiyoshi Rin knew she had a duty to perform and if her life was the cost, then so be it. Her father was a good and decent man no matter the amount of blood on his hands. In a way he was like her Sesshomaru good and kind but demanding when need arose. Smiling at Sesshomaru she knew what she was about to do was stupid, but she couldn't help it.

The next move she made was for the pen that had been taken from her earlier and placed back on the desk; bad idea and it made a sweet crunching sound at it went through the sinew in her uncle's shoulder when he yelled at the guards to start firing. Next thing she knew she was pushed behind the desk and guns started firing off everywhere. Closing her eyes she also covered her ears as she ducked behind the desk and the muffled sounds of bodies hitting the floor as well as screams of orders rounded the room. When the violence died down and after many bullets had littered the desk she sat behind, looking over she smiled at what happened next. Spying Sesshomaru stepping in front of the demon that was on his knees, she watched him take his gun and shoot the half-demon who had attempted to kill her at point blank range; once in-between the eyes and another shot to the heart for good measure. His body fell limp and she noticed among the bodies that her uncle was not one of them. Damn! He had obviously gotten away some how and when she heard tires shriek above her she knew he was long gone and since Inutaisho and Sesshomaru were down here, none of them could catch him now. Though she knew they could follow his scent she also knew they were more worried about her and what she had just witnessed.

Sesshomaru stepped around the dead body of Hiroyuki and came up to her, taking his coat off he putt it around her shoulders and walked her over to where Inutaisho was requesting back up to 'clean up the scene' and start tracking any move her own uncle was making. They talked a bit, but all Rin heard was mumbles as she looked at the single whole that splintered the man who had kidnapped her (tried to kill her) right between the eyes. The bastard deserved it and as she looked she found a sadistic, but good smile making its way, again, across her face. He deserved what he had received because he was responsible for killing every bit of the family she had left. Taking herself from the arm of Sesshomaru she knew they would be watching her next actions, but she didn't care. She then walked over to the desk that had been riddled with bullets, took a small and pointed piece that had been shot out of the desk and walked back over to the half demon's body. Bending down she took the piece of shattered wood, turned his head the opposite way to spy the Sumiyoshi-rengo emblem and began to scratch it out. Blood ran down her hand as she began digging deeper and deeper talking to his dead body and telling him he did not deserve to wear the symbol of her father and was stopped form her task when she saw a clawed and warm hand grasp her own. Knowing all the while that his father could hear, still he spoke to her in a tone only he used with her and words he never said.

"He is dead now, lovely. I promised you I would kill him for you and look what had occurred. I make another vow to you that you will be happy once more."

How many times had he told her she would be happy? Was this a personal mission for him? A destiny he needed to fulfill before he left this earth? Then again, he had delivered on this promise and so many others. Maybe it was finally time to believe him. Shaking her head she was then pulled close to his chest as his hand, laden with blood and stained red, pressed against the side of her head. There she could hear his solid heartbeat and found comfort in hearing each thud against his chest cavity and with each thump she felt her resolve growing. There was no way in hell she was going to let her life turn into nothing because some bastard deemed her unfit to live. She would not let her dreams that she had in the middle of the night go to waste; those of her own happiness with Sesshomaru. He was right, she would find her happiness in life and even if he didn't care whether or not he was with her in this happiness, she did.

As the white walls brought up memories from her past, she pushed them back and focused on the feel of his strong hand surrounding her own while they walked and turned down corridors. It was a good thing that he could scent her because if that had not been the case she would be surprised that he could find her due to all of the twists and turns they were making. They eventually reached the outside world again and Rin breathed in a healthy dose of fresh air. Looking around she noticed that the whole facility had been placed by one of the unused portions of the docks of Tokyo harbor and right to the left of this building was a pier area. No wonder the basement had smelled of old water and mildew. Having stopped only to find his father standing outside barking orders out to those who surrounded him, Sesshomaru had her go and sit on the ledge of the outside wall and she did so, however all the while she was wrapped in his coat she listened to what they had to say. That is, she listened to them as much as she could because they were a few feet away, plus Sesshomaru had picked up a cigarette out of the pack he had in his back pocket, which caused him to pause every so often for the smoke to escape his lungs. The young girl knew that he did it when he was nervous or needed to take the edge off of all of the shit he had to deal with, so naturally she didn't mind, though it did make it difficult to follow what he and his father were saying to one another.

"Son, you know that she can't keep living this life. You are a target for many people and you must know that she will be the main subject when trying to get to you. Take for instance today; sure we killed one of the bastards, but what about her uncle?"

Sesshomaru said nothing, but she did notice him take quite a long drag before saying anything.

"Rin may not look strong, but she certainly is. Would you have given up your way of life for Izayoi? Obviously not. Rin may be a target but she is just a target as anyone I know including my family. Honestly, there is little difference between her and the people I am around. When I find him, I will kill him. It is simple enough, Father."

Inutaisho made no reply though he did look over at Rin. Normally she would have looked away to not be noticed, but this time she decided to keep her ground and not shy away from something. Perhaps she was getting better at staying in the present and now she could possibly confront things in her life. Hell, sure the man was her half-uncle, but that did not mean she excused his actions. The older demon looked back over at his son when he spoke.

"You do not consider Rin's feelings in this? This is _her_ family son and even though the man took her and attempted to kill her, it is ultimately her choice on how to pursue the matter."

At that moment Sesshomaru looked back at her and she said nothing, but she did shake her head in conformation. Even though he knew her, it did not excuse his actions against her and her family. He would die and Sesshomaru would make sure of it. With that she decided to take a break from their conversation and she walked to the side of the pier, sat down and after scrubbing her hands of the bastard's blood, she put her feet over the side. The gentle lukewarm waters barely lapped at her toes, but the clear night time sky sent a small chill through the air; the chill wasn't cold or brisk, but it was light and inviting. Looking out she saw a few passing fishing vessels' lights who were obviously heading down the coast to a more suitable area to put their boats. Was it possible that a day could turn out so well when it had started so sour? She sat there for a few more minutes hearing men shuffle in and out of the building gathering information and also collecting "things" from the building and speeding away in cars after interrupting Inutaisho and Sesshomaru's conversation to confirm progress and orders.

"Rin, I know you were eavesdropping a moment ago, but now you are not paying attention."

"What?"

She turned to look back at him and then he sighed a bit, threw his cigarette on the ground and staved it out with his expensive combat boot. So much for a pleasant night, but maybe it was redeemable.

"I asked if you would like to go home or go to my apartment tonight."

She had nothing to say for a while until she smiled a bit at him.

"Your apartment is my home."

He held his hand out to her and she stepped up and grabbed it as he lifted her into his arms. He took a few steps away from his father until Inutaisho spoke again. He seemed to be trying to reason with his son, but she paid little mind because she wanted to get home and get rid of the feelings she was having. She was no longer scared, but something else welled its way inside of her and she was excited.

"Son, should we leave his body or burn it?"

He turned around to look back at the Oyabun.

"Leave it, when her Uncle comes back he will know that he is next and what to expect when I am able to get my hands around his fucking neck."

Inutaisho agreed and shook his head before looking at Rin.

"Sesshomaru will succeed, we both will. Goodnight Rin."

* * *

She had said nothing the entire time they had driven back to his home and she wrapped the coat he had given her closer around her shoulders. Silence was still the main inhibitor on the elevator ride up to his complex and even when they had stepped out and into the living room. He spoke to her in a soft tone, maybe he thought that she was unhappy or pissed off at being hurt, but it was quite the contrary and this energy and rejuvenation fueled her actions.

"Is there something wrong Rin? It must be hard for you to cope with being in that situation, however-"

He was not going to speak again after that because she never gave him time to. When her lips collided with his he let out a growl and she smiled to herself before pulling away reluctantly. Although she could tell he wanted to say something again he did not. As she pulled off his jacket and began taking off her shirt he spoke not a single word, though she noticed his chest picking up to match his rocketing breathing pace. She smiled when she hit the button near the elevator that closed the automatic blinds. As they began to go down and block out the daylight from the outside world, she turned around and began shucking the rest of her outfit. When she was down to her undergarments she looked back at him and then to the bedroom, which she hoped he understood and turned again back towards the room. She knew he had good eyesight in the dark, but she also knew that she was just as good at navigating through the dark for she knew exactly how to get to his bedroom even in blackness. As the last rays broke through the last couple of inches that the blinds were about to cover she began to remove the rest of her clothes as she continued to make her way and smiled when she heard, behind her, his clothes hit the ground as well. Nope he would not be asking questions anytime soon.

* * *

"Holy shit, did what I think just happen, really happen?"

She lay there next to him with her arms spread out to her sides and the covers rumpled at her stomach letting out panting breaths while trying to regain all of her spent energy. Looking over she noticed Sesshomaru not doing much but staring up at the ceiling of his apartment as if it was something he had never witnessed before. Rin could still taste the feeling of his blood in her mouth and even though it was a necessary part for their relationship to move on, it still felt a bit odd. However, it was not as difficult to execute as she had thought it would be. It took her a few more moments to get her breathing back in order and at that time he had asked her a question that she believed just a bit funny since she was thinking along the same lines, herself.

"It did indeed happen. Was it as bad as you thought it would be, Rin?"

A chuckle escaped her as she wiped her brow and pushed the covers down further since they were making her body pulse with heat, or maybe that was what she got for completely mating with a demon?

"Actually, no it wasn't. Your blood doesn't even taste metallic like ours does; your blood tastes a bit sweet and (ironically) animalistic."

"Is that so?"

As soon as she had seen him laying there the next thing she knew he was drawing her closer to his body, which she protested to since it was a bit hot in the room for her. Decidedly he stripped her of the blanket and let her straddle his waist for the least amount of contact between them to serve to make her comfortable. He was always thinking about her even when he didn't notice it. When his eyes met hers she found his demon side peering through and up at her like she was a piece of meat, although it would not be too far from the truth Rin did enjoy it because once that look was given she knew the rest of the night would be mind blowing. And as his hands danced around her sides she gave him a smile when he gave her a smirk.

"Do you know what your blood tastes like?"

She shook her head and he promptly returned her to her place on the bottom. See that was the thing about him; one minute he was one place and the next another. Now, as she looked up at him after being turned onto her back with him hovering over her, she felt a sense of delight knowing that she made him want to keep her as his own for the rest of his life. Knowing that for demons a lifetime was a very long time there was also a feeling of honor that he, a powerful yakuza prince, would want her for the rest of his days. She then felt his tongue slide along the side of her neck where he would often make his marks (among other places).

"I'm guessing a mouthful of pennies?"

With a shake of his head she was proven wrong.

"You taste as sweet as the fruits you love so much; you are one delicious woman, Rin."

A giggle released from her and she felt her cheeks grow a bit hot from his compliment. Under normal circumstances she would never blush, but this situation made her want to give just a bit more of herself.

"Thank you very much for the compliment."

"No, not a compliment. It is the truth."

Her hand came up to cup his cheek as his eyes searched her own for how she must have been feeling. Resolving to put his fears that she was afraid of the commitment she had just made she spoke boldly so as to make sure he knew her feelings.

"No need to search my feelings Sesshomaru. I feel as I always have when I am with you: happier than I have ever been before and more in love with you each and every day I'm with you."

Something else made her ask a question that maybe she shouldn't have, but she did anyway because it was important to her. Plus, she wanted to know how he felt and not just assured of her own feelings.

"Do you think we will make it?"

He stopped his motions of licking her and was taken aback to look into her eyes.

"What do you mean by this?"

A bit of frustration infused into her and it was not centered at him, it was more at herself because she felt the need to ask this question when she knew it may very well upset him. Her hand rubbed her forehead a bit before he made her stop by holding her hand down at her side with his strong grip.

"I mean that we have these plans to move into together and with everything you are and what has happened to me, do you think we will make it…together…for as long as I live?"

A deep breath from him raised her to the belief that maybe what she had said was not necessarily a bad thing but it wasn't a good thing either. It was quite possible that it was the wrong time to ask him after what they had done, however she still needed this to be answered. There was something that tugged at her gut that made her break the silence and ask this important question.

"I believe that I will try as hard as I can to make sure you have a happy existence. If we are to be together for as long as you live, then I will make it my personal mission to have you forever."

A sad smile came to her face.

"You and I both know I can't possibly be around forever."

He never gave her an answer and she knew the statement had hit home with him. It was tough to say things like that to him, which if he was not killed in his work, would take him a while to die after her. Then she knew the mistake she had made and tried to smooth it over with a smile.

"I cannot live forever, but like everything else we have lived through, I'm willing to give it a try, correct?"

Rin wanted to make her statement like that of a castle on the beach: you can build but the waves will surely come with the tide and wash it away. She needn't say that ever again because of the look of absolute assurance that he gave to her words was positively heart wrenching. She would never bring it up again until the final time came regardless his sadness was seen through his eyes. There was no doubt that he knew it would not be able to happen, but it was as if both of them could merely think it would happen, that maybe it would and they could have that happiness they were both longing to share forever. Trying to fix things between them she was the first to lean upward and kiss him in an attempt to clear his mind to focus on the now instead of the uncertain future. He pulled away just enough to speak to her before returning to making her body tense with pleasure.

"I know what you are trying to do and I must say, from now on, if you want to use this tactic you are more than welcome."

* * *

Some time during the night he had woken only to find that she was still asleep. After all that had happened she deserved her rest, but his questions would not go unanswered. So, looking down at her prone body he whispered her name a few times and when she didn't react he marveled at her beauty for a moment before giving in to his primal urges; he wanted her awake right now and she would be. He watched as his clawed hand dashed between the valley of her breasts before gripping one softly in his hand, this seemed to awaken her and she responded with a soft and urgent moan. Of course, this only made him even happier that she was his alone, and even more excited when he watched her legs rub together…ah, so she was still feeling his effects from those few hours ago, good.

A few moments later she opened her eyes to squint at him and then raised her arms over her head to do a full body stretch before she attempted to awaken all of the way. When she did, she gave him a curious look as she rolled over onto her stomach and lent all of her weight onto her forearms. Okay, so they had talked earlier and apparently she would not be sneaking by, even with sex as an aversion, without him wanting to talk about earlier when she was taken by her uncle. Looking over at him she raised an eyebrow so he would know that she was awake and that she wanted to know why he had woken her. Deciding that now was as good of a time as any, he spoke quietly to her which was a good thing because by the look of the darkness in the room it was around two in the morning.

"I wished to finish what I was going to say before you interrupted me."

"Ah, but you loved it."

He said nothing to that and continued to ask his questions.

"Why did you not react as you normally would? You were kidnapped and you almost died…again. So, why did you not retreat back to your mind like always? That is not to mean that I want you to do so. I am merely curious that is all."

She knew how to answer him, but she really looked as if she didn't want to. That was no matter though she would and she did although she looked down at the pillow and not him.

"I don't know why exactly, but I do know a few reasons. For some strange reason I felt invigorated and happy. Yes, my father lied to me, but I was only a few years old. You really can't tell those things to your child and I resented him for not telling me at first, but as my uncle kept talking I understood exactly why he would keep the truth away: the world he loved was not the same anymore; it had turned too bitter and he did not want that for our family, so he left and led a different life. I understand and respect that. Also, having my life threatened so much only led me to see that I need to live life the way I want to before something happens and I live in regret ya know? Of course, I still have my many problems, but maybe I just got over a new step to help me improve my way of living instead of hindering it."

Again he said nothing but he did shake his head in understanding and lay down and turned her head to look at him. Why was he not talking about the other thing she had done…to the half demon's neck? If he was not saying anything then he must have accepted what she had done and also understood why she had done it. At least that topic was one that needn't be looked over.

"So, did you enjoy me taking the reigns?"

They both gave a small smile and he did have to admit it was something new.

"Indeed I did, however you angered my demon by taking dominance, but I will let it slide this time and a few others. As for now, I cannot have you taking away all of my egotistical ways, now can I?"

With that said he grabbed her as she faked her words and dramatically put her wrist to her head in feigned peril.

"Oh no! Help me! The big, bad demon is going to ravish me senseless!"

In that moment he could not help but think that if something were to happen to him tomorrow it would not matter because he had known true happiness and it was when she was there to bring it out in him. At one time he had thought feelings had no meaning in his life of death and destruction, but now it had all changed when he had come upon such a beautiful girl with a wonderful smile. That day had changed his life for the better. Sure, he left his emotions at the door when he killed but since she came to love him, he had something to protect and do his duties for instead of doing them solely for his father. He gave her hope for a better way of life just like she had given him.

* * *

The very next week she studied long and hard for her exams. Barely was she able to meet with him or even see him. In school they were able to see one another, but not for long since the only time they had was spent in class, though the one refuge they had was lunch. He had been gone for two lunch periods because he told her of some business that he had to do while he was given a bit of free time, so mostly she spent those days eating alone and hoping that he was being safe in whatever he was doing.

There was a night in particular that changed things between them a bit. She had been studying profusely for an exam that she would be horrible at: Chemistry. Of course she knew that she had no hope for an excellent grade however, she strived that evening for at least a passing grade. It was daunting to say the least when she began to study that night. She had been looking over notes and previous tests for a number of hours already, so deciding that she needed a break she made her way downstairs and retrieved a bottle of water from the kitchen and then went to sit in front of the television for a few minutes. It was ten o'clock at night and the weariness from the day's events had worn her out. First, she had to go to school. Then, she had to get groceries for her grandmother at the store a few blocks down. She had made the mistake of deciding not to take a car, when a downpour caught her while she was coming back and she had to run with two bags full of ingredients for that evening's meal. Lastly, she had to do what she was doing moments ago, which was studying. Now though, she took her well deserved break and paid no attention when he eyes started closing or when her grandmother came in to put a pillow under her head before she herself went off to bed.

Barely awakened she heard the front door close and the sound of steady footsteps. Then, she heard the TV volume decrease and without even thinking she rolled over towards the back of the couch and groaned a bit.

"Sorry grandmother, I'll be up in a minute to go to bed."

She heard nothing and just as she was about to turn around, she rubbed her eyes and looked up at the person's legs that occupied her vision. Nope, not short, fat and old. Great.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Rin. Do I look like your grandmother?"

She knew that voice all too well and when her vision cleared she knew who would be standing in front of her. Sure enough there he was in all his calm and cool glory looking down at her with a perplexed expression. Pushing the blanket off of her body she watched him smile down at her and before she realized it, she felt cold air rush across her stomach. Looking down she rolled her eyes. She had forgotten to put on a shirt before she came down here and now all she wore was a sports bra and a pair of purple shorts. Damn pervert was what he was. Still she said nothing to him for a while until he just kept looking at her, though her own silence gave her time to check out his attire as well. He was dressed simply, but very dashing for him: a deep brown belt that held pitch black slacks and shiny black shoes along with a short-sleeved shirt that was crisp and a deep brown that matched his belt and clung to his muscled frame. Goodness he looked good in practically anything. Nearly drooling she looked up at his face and glared at him before lying on her back again to signal that she wanted him to explain why he was there. Sure she loved him and she had not seen him in a while, but she had been studying a long time and now just as she was getting rest, he interrupted her nice sleep.

Noticing that he was about to speak she tried to listen, but that was when she noticed something about him that was new and had not been there before. It was fresh and crisp, just like his shirt, but this thing was on his skin and she knew she had to see it. Had he earned something new? Sitting up a bit she pointed to his left arm and asked him to explain.

"Ah, this was what I came to tell you about. I asked my father about it and he said that assuredly I must get something to represent our mating and the fact that I protected you. I will contest greatly to how well I protect you with everything that has been happening lately, but the Oyabun insisted and I had to comply."

She knew what he meant. Even if he believed that he did not deserve it, he had to do what his father, Oyabun, told him to do regardless of how he thought or felt. With that he lifted his shirt and found something so beautiful that she had to push up onto her knees to touch it. He was a demon, so of course it had healed faster, but it was still lovely. It was decorated with the traditional Japanese background of swirls of black and grey and already she took note that it was more than likely sweeping over his shoulder and to his back for both his back and the shoulder cap to connect. However, the part that caught her most was the big and beautiful pink lotus right on his skin. He had remembered her favorite flower and that must have been why he asked the question those nights ago. She looked up at him and smiled.

"I love it. I know it may seem stupid, but you're okay with this being on your skin for the rest of your life? What if we're not together in a few years?"

It was something she did not want to address but she knew she had to. That's when she felt him push her back onto the couch and hover over her. He must have felt as if he was being intimidating, but it sure as hell did not look that way.

"I will have you know that I have explained this before. Rin, we have mated and you should know that for me it is forever. I sincerely hope it is for you as well, but if you leave there will be no other for me, you know that. I am proud to have you as a part of my life and I see no reason for you to leave anytime soon. You expressed that this is what represents you and your wishes, so this is what I want for you as well."

She thought about all of his words for a moment or two until she decided he was right. She was in this for the long run no matter what he thought. He then kicked off his shoes and laid on the couch with her…well, more like on her. With his head resting on her chest and his legs between hers, they both took in the silence of the night for a few minutes until she broke it.

"I plan on staying with you for the rest of my life. And I love what you have done. I'm glad you remembered what I like and dislike. Tough I do disagree with your way of thinking in consideration to your protection skills."

"Good."

His hand took her own and they stayed for the rest of the night in the same position; neither one of them wanting to move from the moment.

"I love you Sesshomaru."

Though she never heard it back she knew he reciprocated her feelings because she then felt him squeeze her hand in reaction. For outsiders it would seem that he had no emotions to speak of and did not seem to care for her at all, but she knew that though he was quite, the squeeze of a hand can mean all of the difference. He loved her back, she knew, though he never said it. It was alright; everything was fine and peaceful. Little did she know that it was one of the last few they would share.

* * *

Finals week had arrived with ferocity unmatched by any she had previously gone through. She struggled to get all of her studying in for the multitude of tests that she had. She was not able to see Sesshomaru that week, but she knew when the weekend came she would be able to visit him as much as she wanted. They would also be going to see about apartments. Sure, he still had his, but he had told her he wanted something for both of them and not a place that other members knew about. Excitement filled her as she looked down at question #23 of her third test for the day, though she knew she needed to concentrate Rin could not help but feel happy about her upcoming days spent with Sesshomaru for the small vacation they had before he went to college and she entered her senior year of high school. Then, then they would both be able to attend the same college and live happily for a few years. It would be nice to come home to him instead of an empty house.

Trying to get back to the test she smiled and began filling in each of the answers with ease. She had feared she would float off into her mind and not get the exam done on time, but as her thoughts centered on Sesshomaru she found she could pay attention a lot more sense she was not focused on too many things at once. He had his perks. After she was done, she walked up past the wondering eyes and glares to hand the teacher her paper. As she made her way out of the classroom and into the hall she took a deep breath and laughed to herself, she would do well on that test she knew, though the one she had tomorrow was a different story. Chemistry plagued her and the exam would be no different, though Sesshomaru would be there to help her study tonight, she knew that she would be all on her own the next day, so now she focused on getting home. After all, the faster she went to study and sleep the faster this last week of school would go.

She awaited him to close the book that night when she had looked over at her clock and found that it was eleven at night. Walking over to her dresser she pulled out a black camisole top and a pair of matching black cotton pants. Without paying any mind to what she was doing she began to remove her clothes and as she bent down to place her legs in the holes of the pants she heard a very distinctive growl come from behind her. Looking back she found Sesshomaru admiring the side view she had given him from his perch on her bed. Rin could not help but chuckle a bit; she knew he liked her body but be rarely made noises of approval, just words. Rolling her eyes a bit she heard him growl again and took up the task of grabbing for her camisole top when she felt a slight breeze behind her, which also raced across her bare chest, and also felt the warm pads of his hands run across her back and come together just below her navel. As she looked over to the side where she had a mirror located near her dresser; she found the picture of them to be…

"Lovely."

Rin was going to say at the very least good because she kept thinking her breasts were a bit on the small side, though by the way he always looked at them one would never know the difference. It was with that thought that she smiled a bit more than normal because no matter the scars she had, the ones she would gain, or the 'areas' she wanted to fix about herself, he still accepted _all _of her. She took her eyes away from their image and placing her back against his chest in order to look up at him and smile.

"You think so?"

He leaned down to whisper his next words.

"I know so. Now, since we are done I wish to make you feel relaxed before you have to take your test tomorrow."

When she looked towards the mirror again she found him looking right at her with his head next to her shoulder and smirk riding across his features.

"Make me feel relaxed? At the very least you keep me tighter than one of those strings on your damn guitar."

"You enjoy it and I can prove it to you. Besides, you only have half your clothes on, why not?"

She stopped him for a second as he plucked her from the ground before he plopped her on the bed.

"What about my grandmother?"

As her behind hit the bed his hands came to her thighs.

"You can be quiet can you not?"

"I'll try."

The next morning she prepared for school after Sesshomaru had wished her well and now, as she buttoned up her school jacket to ward off the breeze outside, she could not help but smile and sigh contentedly as she thought bad on what had happened the night before. What a good way and bad way to send her off to a test; good because it had been a fantastic experience and bad because now it would be what she thought of while she glared at the formulas that would be glaring back at her for the next few hours. Did she mention that it was good because the sex had been fantastic? As she grabbed her bag and headed out the door only one thing came to her lips.

"Not fantastic, fucking mind-blowing."

* * *

The weekend past by with no incident and now Rin could only await the grades that were soon to be posted in the school. She would have to search for her classes and her name and her fate would come down to a number, a score on a sheet of paper. But she knew she could not have done horribly bad it was just the whole of all the stress she was under to do well and to help Sesshomaru as much as she could that made her nervous. If she did not do well enough she would not be going to Tokyo U with Sesshomaru and that was just not an option. Her own mother had dreams of her children attending Tokyo U and Rin was determined. Now, she awaited Sesshomaru taking her so that they could both look at their grades. Of course there was no need to look at his because, like always, he would get excellent scores and be one of the highest ranking students in the entire school, if not the most intelligent.

Her finger scrolled down the lines in the middle of the hallway that were pasted on the large sheets of paper. Students pushed her from each side and most glared at her, but she gave them no attention and as her finger hit her name she smiled. She had scored well on everything and this one subject that she had been worried about need not be worried about at all. She had passed…with a pleasant score. All around it equaled an average student's progress and so she had done well. Holy shit she had passed! Racing down the halls she took a sharp left and entered the large hallway for the scores of the to-be-graduating seniors. There she spotted his hair after searching and jumping a bit above people to find him and she pushed past people who cursed and complained to get to him. He was standing at the side looking at the multitude of humans and probably cursing the ground they walked on when he made eye contact with her. She ran to him and yelled happily as she jumped up into his arms and smiled warmly.

"I received good marks in everything and I passed my Chemistry exam! Can you believe it!"

At first he said nothing but held her instead. Then he let her down as they made their way to the back entrance of the school and all the while she smiled up at him and kept chattering away about how she was happy and she never noticed his own smile until he stopped them in the middle of the grassy lawn and kissed her pleasantly on the lips. His hand glided across her face with ease and warmth.

"I knew you would do well and I am very proud of you. However, I would like to question as to what you thought about to keep you focused on your work?"

Giving him a peck on the cheek she wrapped her arms around his neck and standing on her tip toes she whispered to him her secret.

"I focused on you."

"Is that so?"

Placing herself back down she shook her head in affirmation.

"Yes. Now, when can we look for apartments, I want to move in with you so that we'll be able to have great sex whenever we want?"

A chuckle lit his features and she still smiled on as they walked hand-in-hand with one another as they walked down through the few trees and the grass that led towards the back gates.

"We can look tomorrow. Will you enjoy these new living arrangements, lovely?"

She turned a bit to give him another one of her warm smiles.

"Of course, it means that I get to spend time with you. When I get home from school you can help me with homework, I can even make you dinner if you want. We can make love whenever with no sneaking around. You know that happiness you always talk about me having…this will be that happiness."

It was nice. There was a breeze and the mixture of warmth, sweet cherry blossoms, and grass hit her nose and there was even a tint of him in there as well and she could not get enough. Everything was perfect until the next second threw everything she had loved and worked hard for into frenzy. He looked down to her and his smile stopped when she heard the whiz of something very familiar pass her ear and then the thump as it connected with flesh. This flesh was not her own and she turned to look up at him and found a red stain growing by the second near his shoulder. You know how they tell you that everything happens in slow motion, well to her it was at high-speed and there was nothing she could do except try and break the fall of the strong demon next to her when his knees collided with the ground and a black box rolled out of his school jacket's pocket.

Nothing seemed real in the next few moments because as she yelled and cried to the few students she knew were around none of them looked to be moving fast enough. It was like the world decided that she should agonize over what was happening all the more longer. As he was lying there looking up at her, she felt as if it were just like all of the other times that he had been injured, that he would get up and be perfectly fine the next day. One problem remained with this theory and it was that in the back of her mind it was shouting that she was being a liar and that nothing was going to be okay and she did her best to block it out, but still it screamed louder and louder as her cries grew as well as her tears. Still he made no move to blink up at her it was as if he were savoring every moment he had. The wound was in his chest and it looked to be in his heart and that was when she knew he would not be telling her he would be fine in a day or two. Demons lived very long lives, but not if they had their heads stricken from their necks, took trauma to the heart (like the bleeding and gaping wound that went through his at the moment), or endured too much blood loss. The only difference between a human death and a demon one was the time it took for them to die. Their bodies fought to keep them alive and that made his situation worse because with each pulse of his heart the blood rushed over her hand that she had used to put pressure on the wound to keep it from bleeding; no avail, it kept pouring out.

* * *

It was the first time in a long time that he had ever felt the tendrils of death grabbing at his pained flesh much like roots dig deep and hard for earth to form. His vision began to blur and when he was able to open his eyes, he was caught by a blur of colors and echoes of voices bouncing around his senses; this must be a bit of how Rin felt everyday. She was crying and was telling him to keep it together and that she loved him. Never had he expected that he would die on a bloody street in front of the school and it seemed to be the case that the gods hated him; this he understood. His only fear as he felt Rin's fingers pressing on his wound to stall the bleeding, were that the same people could be after Rin as well and he did not want to leave her alone in a world of his enemies; she would be targeted. He tried to keep his mind stable and from jumping around and nothing worked no matter how hard he concentrated.

Sesshomaru knew, deep down in the caverns of his heart, that he would perish this day and again he looked up with all the clarity he would muster and found her tear-streaked face and felt her hand smoothing over his skin, to be the look of an angel he knew all along. He was a demon -fearless and godless- and she was the most pure being he had ever come across in his many years and his last thought was what he had always believed to be true: a demon could never rest with an angel for too long, least the angel become tainted and thus an angel no more. A small smile crept to his features. How fitting.

* * *

She kept pressing him to keep breathing and that someone had called an ambulance, but she knew that it wasn't going to do anything at all for him. She even kept repeating that she loved him and that he needed to stay so that she could be happy, but nothing seemed to be working. Looking around she found students crowding around and they never noticed when he smiled just the littlest bit and then he was gone. The ambulance came and took him away as the streets were soon to be cleaned from the red stain that adorned it. They took her away back into the school and she awaited Inutaisho to come to pick her up and she knew he had heard the news. Izayoi had been too distraught to come and get the girl and Inuyasha and Kagome were rushing home after they had been on a date after school with friends; they would find out soon enough when they came to the Yamaguchi residence and found out the news. She knew she was shaking uncontrollably and she sat with her hands in her lap covered in his blood with people gathered around all of the empty classes and doorways. None of them dared say anything to the poor outcast girl who was crying silently to herself baring the weight of a slight chill that had developed since his death and the weight of the world whom had decided to kill him. She knew someone had killed him, just not who and this rang through her mind like a fucking berated bell tone over and over and she shook from the mere sight of the caked redness under her fingernails.

Sure, she heard the sounds of all the others whispering about her and she was beginning to loose herself all over again. No one was there to tell her to stick around anymore, so what good was there? All the good in the world had left in a heap of blood and on the edge of his graduation and them getting an apartment to start a life together. She was so caught up in her world that she barely noticed the silence that over ran the school and then she looked over to the left at the entrance of the school and found just what had everyone quiet: Yamaguchi, Inutaisho. He had only taken a few steps when the whispers started over again and she went back to fighting a loosing battle for her sanity. She heard the administrator of the school talking to Inutaisho and telling him they were sorry and that no one had seen anything and he just shook his head and moved on, after all who the hell needed the information from a few students when you had a lot of files and yakuza groups at your disposal? She looked back down to her hands when she saw a shadow draw about her and when she looked up she found the leader of the most powerful Japanese mafia kneeling in front of her, a rival by blood and also a commoner by the love they shared for Sesshomaru. His eyes held sadness and she knew he wanted to cry, but he held it back because he needed to be powerful and stoic for his wife and even for herself. It would seem though that she was crying enough for both of them. She watched as he looked down at her hands and then stood to hold out his own hand to her; the only person she held hands with was Sesshomaru and despite all of the sirens going off in her head to not get connected with another person, she dismissed it and grabbed his hand as she stood up from the seat.

She gripped his hand as tightly as she could when she noticed people continuing to whisper to one another as they both walked by. She stopped and looked up at the powerful demon next to her and this caused him to cease his movements as well and look down at her. Of course there was no reason for her to be stopping, but she did anyway and through her tears she found the words that she wanted to speak. All be these words few and a bit quiet she knew he would hear her.

"He's dead isn't he Inutaisho?"

With a few seconds of peace between them he finally answered as he squeezed her hand.

"Yes, the hospital notified me minutes ago. It is unfortunate that you and I should come to hold hands not at your wedding day, but on the day of my son's death. However, we will find whoever did this that I promise you Rin."

All she could think was that her hands were not the same. Everyone kept promising her things and the only one to keep those promises he made was now no longer here. Rin knew that the moment he told her his occupation did not allow him to live to long she had accepted it, but he had been taken away when she least expected it and when she never wanted it to come. Then they continued the walk to his car and he never took notice to the gift that had been in Sesshomaru's pocket that she now had on her finger. Maybe he noticed it but decided not to say anything, either way they now had a deeper understanding of one another and he was right that it was unfortunate for their circumstances to be this way, but she knew that what he promised her he would deliver. They hit a red light and she spoke only a few words.

"I know that I won't be sticking around mentally for a while, so take me to my own home and just promise you will come and visit and not let me keep _him_ from my memories?"

It only took him a few seconds to look down at her hands that were ringing together and notice that sparkling ring that encircled her finger. He clearly understood what had been done and nodded his head.

"Of course, you are a Yamaguchi-gumi Rin and a part of my family. I will not let you forget who you are."

The very last thing she remembered about that day was seeing her grandmother come rushing out of the house to greet her, but all she knew were the blurring colors and the fields of flowers that sprang to come meet her in her own front yard. Odd though that Sesshomaru should be there, he was dead and all. The flowers melted into new ones as she stepped in the grass and she could not help the giggle that came from her lungs. Here might be in her mind, but her mind still had her boyfriend, his love, and the most beautiful place. This place was wherever he was and if this place was her mind, then she would stay here; nowhere else would she call home without him there to greet her.

"Nothing else feels right either."

* * *

A/N: How is every one? Ready for the final chapter? Well, if you want that you have to review this one first. So, this one breaks the record for longest so far, but will the last chapter break this record too? Who knows! I hope everything came out the way I wanted it and that it was not too confusing or anything. Now, tell me what you think and I will update.


	14. Unfeigned Ardor and Dilution

**"8, 9, 3"**

_Chapter 13:_

_Unfeigned Ardor and Dilution_

A/N: Just to let you know this is, indeed, the last chapter of this fic. I hope everyone had enjoyed the ride thus far and I also hope you enjoy this chapter as well. I decided to use a Shakespeare poem instead of an Orr this time, since I am an AVID 'Speare fan! It should be a poem known for its beginning lines. I will say that this story (without the Interludes) is technically 13 chapters long and this is the 'unlucky' number in American culture, so I thought it would tie in well with the 'unlucky' hand of 8, 9, 3 in Japanese cards. Clever? Maybe not but I liked the link, so it's staying. Btw, all of the titles may seem annoying with all of the big words, but I love good titles and I think they fit each chapter _perfectly _and I hope you liked them too! Have fun reading the conclusion.

* * *

"**Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"**

_Sonnet 18_

William Shakespeare

When in eternal lines to Time though grow'st:

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long live this, and this gives life to thee.

* * *

**Rin** stayed with her grandmother through the following months and like I promised I her I would come and see her. She was, again as she predicted, not all 'there' but still I would make the effort to come up to her grandmother's shrine and see her. The old woman would take Rin wherever she went for fear that the poor girl might hurt herself if not supervised, but he knew she was not coherent enough to even think of something like that. So, just like any other day he came on this day and found that her grandmother had dressed her in a traditional kimono and it was obviously for the upcoming New Year's festival. Sure, she was mentally unstable but she would never even talk to any of the guests or tourists that came through the shrine she was more or less an ottoman. Like every other day he found her with her knees under her with flowers gripped in her hand and in front of the koi pond talking to the fish.

As he came up the last few steps and under the shrine passageway her grandmother came to greet him in a heavy bow. Sesshomaru had told him about the woman knowing who his son had been and naturally she would know of him too. Though she did not like him she did let him come by and speak to Rin whenever he could. He had hopes that she would come out of it if he talked to her but he also knew that his son seemed to be the only one who could do that; the only one who could wake her up and get her out of her own head, but he was gone, so Inutaisho tried as much as he could to get through to her. So far it was to no avail though he still hoped that one day she would come to and notice the realness around her.

"She's over by the pond again, like always. Will we be seeing you for the New Year's Festival this year?"

Already the year was turning for his son's memories, but that was not all that had happened. His son had mated Kagome and they were going to their second year of high school. His son never came around much for Rin because he had told his father that he never had anything to say to her, or rather he didn't know what to say to her. It was not a problem because Inutaisho could hardly think of things to say, but he kept it up and held out hope. He came from his reverie after a bit and looked down at the old woman with a slight smile.

"Yes, I believe we will. It would be nice to celebrate it with young Rin."

She shook her head and went back to sweeping up the walkway and he went over to speak to the girl in the white colored kimono; his son would have loved to have taken in the sight he was seeing. Even in the dead of winter with a new year approaching and a fresh coat of snow blanketing the earth, Rin still looked peaceful and reverent like always.

* * *

That week they took the time to comprise a special New Year's gift for Rin. This time instead of just Inutaisho being there it was also Inuyasha, Kagome and Izayoi to see her. They all felt the one presence that was missing, but they all did their best to make the situation the greatest they could. The only one who didn't seem to notice the change was Rin but they would not be able to persecute her because she was suffering in her mind. She had stood next to them while they looked up at the sky and brightened up when she saw fire works burst in the sky over head, but nothing special about the girl who laughed when no one made a joke or frowned when someone spoke to her. All tried to get her to come out of herself, but still she remained at the end of the night dressed in her kimono, sitting by the pond of fish talking to them as the others bid their goodbyes to her grandmother and then to her.

After they were all gone her grandmother told her she would be cleaning up the mess from the picnic that had been earlier that day and then they would leave. Still Rin sat there and remembered everything she enjoyed and even the fish decided that she needed some company so they swam over to the edge of the pond to meet the tiny toes that dared dip into their habitat as she sat on the bridge talking up a storm. Of course, in her mind they talked back, but it was odd when a breeze went by and it smelled exactly of him. It was odd when her mind connected it to a time when she sat right her, as she was in her mind, and he had come up to talk to her and even bend down to whisper in her ear over her shoulder as she watched his gorgeous gold eyes dance in the moonlight reflected from the pond in front of her.

"My lovely needs to come back if she wishes to see me again. My Rin needs to return if she wishes to find her peace with me where she's always wished to go. You need to come back to love me again."

She heard her grandmother calling in the distance and in an instant it was all gone: his eyes, the smell, even the fish had scattered. All that was left was the moon shining in the pond and somehow she knew where she was and why she was here. Everything came rushing back to her in a moment's time and the tears hit to pool of water. No longer were the fish interested in her memories, no flowers dotted her mind for the times being. She was clear for just a moment and in that moment she knew something had awakened her from herself and she had just the remembrance of him to thank right?

* * *

Rin had been sitting on the couch in his apartment for quite sometime now and still nothing came to mind as she looked at the screen and consumed her fruit salad with images of war ravaged nations and crisis over which group of wayward teens had gratified one of the subway systems of Tokyo. It had been a few days since her curious and –frankly- irritating 'awakening' from her mind. It was irritating because she now had to deal with the real world and the fact that he just was not coming back to her; it was good to be her in times like these. She had taken up residence after she grew conscious and had stayed here, even with the insistence of Inutaisho that she come back to his home, she always declined. Now she sat through each day doing her course work that Inutaisho had pulled through for her so that she could get her high school degree. Sure enough, granted that she had not been to school in a while, he was a very powerful man and offered to get her degree for her, but she declined because she wanted to accomplish it herself, so he set up a way to meet with her teachers once a week to have her work done and assigned so that she could complete her schooling. It was awfully nice of him and she thanked him every time she had the chance, though now she opted to sit and think after she had finished more science homework. He always helped her with it and now that he was not here she struggled a bit. Damn him!

Turning off the television after the umpteenth time of being shown the "acts of inner-city art created by vagrant and wayward youths" she turned her attention to the falling snow. Since the incident that happened a year prior the window had been fixed and new systems were installed on the exit and also to get up to the room Rin would have to push an open elevator button for a person to come in, like the same premise of the American 'buzz' systems in apartment buildings. Now she sat on the floor with her legs crossed looking out at the scene of the snow covered earth and the people making their hesitant ways through it along with the jumble of cars commuting here and there. The glass was cold to the touch and when her hand made complete contact with it a shiver went down her spine. She could even see a bit of herself if she looked at the glass just right. She could see part of her long sleeved black sweater and it was coupled (oddly) with a pair of grey sweat pants to keep her legs warm. The young girl had been out that morning to retrieve a few womanly necessities and had only had the want and need to shed the snow weighted pants from her body and the rest had been of no mind. Seeing herself with a messy ponytail and with slight bags under her eyes from lack of sleep made her annoyed, but not annoyed enough to fix it.

When she was feeling a bit of self pity (which she was disgusted with because she hoped never to feel helpless again) the phone rang. Sighing she turned around to find the phone blinking and decidedly let the answering machine catch it. Looking out the window once more she heard the sound of Inutaisho's voice float through the tiny black speaker and what he said changed her attitude in an instant. The girl who was feeling sad in one second felt fury and deviousness in the next and now this day was at least going to turn out good.

"I know you are there, but if for some reason you are not, though I don't see how my instincts could be wrong, well we found your Uncle and we have him here. I'll send the directions to Sesshomaru's fax machine. It may take you a while, but get here as soon as you hear this because I've got the bastard and it is going to take a lot of self control on my part not to snap his neck."

And with a click the line went dead and the answering machine stopped its recording process. Deciding that she did not want Inutaisho to have all of the fun she quickly stood up and took a shower, picked something out, and headed down to the parking structure that was located underground (which she found out a little while after being here from a down floor neighbor) grabbed the sleek black Mercedes that Sesshomaru had here for his 'jobs' and set out. It would take her at least forty minutes, if not a good hour, to get there, but the bastard would have to wait and she knew from experience that when you knew you were going to be killed, waiting was the hardest part.

Slowing to a controlled stop she found herself in what looked like to be a wooded quarter of the surrounding area of Tokyo. And all she could think the entire time she looked upon the wooden cabin that was snuggled carefully to be quant and beautiful was how much it resembled the location Sesshomaru had taken her to and that only served to piss her off even more. Too bad this place was housing a fucking scum of a man whom she would take pleasure in humiliating this evening. After all, no one ever would find this place if they did not pay particular attention to the tire tracks in the snow from the main road leading to it. Stepping out of the car her heels crunched under the heavy, wet snow which she took no care to and breathed out heavily while looking around. A few well armed men were stationed outside the cabin along with several black SUV's parked in a circle. There were other armed men, but their weapons had been taken and they were kneeling in the snow. It also looked to be a scene of bloodshed just for the Yamaguchi forces to get into the place because as she walked her way towards the steps she found spatters of blood and clumps of red snow along with dragging marks, which suggested some bodies had been carted off before she got here. Oh well!

Every time she walked past one of the 'guards' they would bow their heads slightly to her and she would do the same except unlike her past she would return her head to an upwards position; she would be proud of who she was and she wanted to keep it that way. Even the men's whispers could not go far from her ears when she heard things like: 'Shit she looks pissed!' and 'How much do you want to bet that his balls are the first to go?' Honestly she did not mind these comments because she knew she looked pissed and right now she had many scenarios going through her head on how to punish him and damn if she couldn't decide on just one. Upon entering the cabin she noticed meager appliances and furnishings, but that was not what caught her vision. What captured her was the fact that there were two men standing guard around a square shaped door and judging by the area rug that lay crumbled to the side she would have to say that it was a secret passage that led down to something deeper in the ground and to more extensive living quarters. She would be right because as soon as she was granted permission she had to door lifted for her and she went down the dimly lit small stair case. She had to walk down at least fifteen steps when the gradient sloped off a bit.

Soon enough she came upon a hallway at the end of these steps that led to two large metal doors. What the hell was her Uncle paranoid about the coming end of the world or something? Then as she thought about it she was glad he burrowed down into the earth like the rat he truly was. He feared who she knew and that was definitely a rush of happiness for her. Never had she felt such pure hatred for anyone in her life like she did the man that hid here. Going through the set of doors (that were also guarded over by more Yamaguchi men) she was impressed that they took no chances in him getting away for a second time. Her heels clicked on the porcelain covered surface as she made her way deeper into the room, sure it was extensive but her burning vision never left the bastard that had his head pressed into the wooden desk he sat in, with Inutaisho holding him down she saw his claws retract from the man's skin. The room had a stack of books on the floor and when she stopped to look down at them she noticed they were files on her and her family along with Sesshomaru's. Looking up again she wondered over to the place that was surrounded by at lest five men all dressed in black and even noticed the new young man that had been keeping watch over the office of Hisayuki, Taka so obviously he had sent someone along to show her his respects. Though she gave the man no smile he did concede to incline his head to her in acknowledgement as she continued on with her walk up to the desk of the infernal man who had taken her sanity from her.

* * *

He knew she was coming when he heard the click of heels down the hallway a bit from the main doors of the room. He could only hope that they had cleaned up most of the deceased that surrounded the property before she arrived here sure, she had known what Sesshomaru had done, but to witness it was something different. When they had first arrived on the property it had been heavily guarded because they had known someone would be out for their Oyabun's blood but as soon as the body count started to rise they surrendered, though that did not mean that this little feud was over by any means. It had taken a while to find the hidden room underground but when they found it they met a bit more resistance and then found the man whom he held down for Rin to see. The man who killed his son was under his hand and he could crush his skull with a minimal amount of pressure, but he refrained. He would give the ultimate decision to Rin. Knowing she was not a violent person he was, at first, a bit apprehensive to ask this of her, but as soon as she came through the doors moments ago he knew this was what she wanted.

To look upon her now he could see why his son had chosen her time and time again over his many missions. She was dressed in a pair of tight black jeans with a black sweater under a red goose down vest that was rimmed with grey fake fur (since she often told Sesshomaru she never felt the need to wear the skin of an animal to be fashionable) and to top it off a pair of high heeled boots that were tale tale signs of her presence in the room. Her face was one of perfect stoicism and he could see the hint of fatigue under her eyes, but she hid it well with make-up. He watched the men in the room clearly noticing her, but these men also knew to stay clear of her and only look from afar because she was more deadly than she appeared. Though he knew inside she must be a bit confused about the situation and being called up out of nowhere to drive to the outskirts of a town, he also knew that she would be ready to face the man under his grip. Needless to say she looked every bit as deadly as the man she had lost those months ago and he was proud to see her now composed, seething with emotions in her eyes and all the more beautiful when she was at the helm of revenge.

Snapping out of his reverie he found her in front of the desk and looking down at the man that she had once known as a good man from her father. She looked at him like the piece of trash he was and he had to take pride in her ways because it was not everyday a man had a woman in his family that could take the family business in such the stride that she had all of these years. Rin was above all things accepting because what kind of person would she be if she reprimanded someone for being different when she herself was somewhat abnormal?

* * *

When she set her sights on him she did not stop moving, she even took a tour around the room and made a circle around the desk that he was pressed upon. This moment could only be savored for so long before she had to make a decision. First though, she would have to explain to the man that took everything from her that he would not be getting away from this…at all. For the first time she had so much hate for this man that she needed a moment to collect her thoughts, and anyway she would let him stew and settle a bit more before she talked of his sentencing. Her fingers traced the frame of the wooden desk while she spoke softly to him.

"You know something Uncle, I would have suspected you to be someone of finer tastes than living your days in a putrid little bunker. Afraid of the Yamaguchi's I suppose?"

He spat at her when he spoke but this was something she didn't mind much.

"Just like your wretched father you give up your heritage, you are a disgrace! You gave up your name to lay with a Yamaguchi dog!"

There was no need for her to reprimand him because Inutaisho tightened his grip on the man and bent down next to his ear.

"You will get your death wish soon enough, but I suggest you treat her with respect after all, she will be the one to control the Sumiyoshi-kai when you…disappear."

He said nothing more after that moment. She knew she would be next in line, but the thing was, was that she did not want it. However, this would have to be addressed later because this _man_ was the important task at hand.

"You have taken everything I ever held dear. I know now that it was your game plan all along, but I do not fear you now that I know the disgusting individual who would kill his own brother and his kin in the face of jealousy. You, Uncle, are no where near the man I remember, you have festered, much like a wound and we must always tend to our wounds, correct?"

His eyes turned big when he knew she was about to end his life. After all the wicked things he had done with his life, she found herself wondering –only for a split second- if he really believed she would let him live. She was not heartless, though for this man an exception was to be made.

"You may have tried to get rid of me but you inevitably failed. You have killed my mind, my brother, my mother, my father and now my boyfriend, but you will _not_ succeed in getting rid of me or my memories. I have not forsaken my name because I now know that I am a true Sumiyoshi and that I am, at the same time, a Yamaguchi; I walk in both worlds.

Bending down with what she knew to be a sadistic smile she came close to his ear to whisper.

"Just for you to know, I may lay with dogs but you will forever lay with your demons and from now on you will hear the sound of worms eating away at your corpse with no one to know or remember you. The empire you built from blood is dead and you go with it. Fuck. You."

As she leaned back from him Inutaisho looked upon her with pride and she herself almost felt the need to cry but she held it back. The never spoke often and she was still weary of him, but his opinion meant much to her these days.

"What do you wish for us to do with him?"

Looking down at him she smiled again. Her words were simple as if she were reading from some noodle recipe from the back of a box.

"Give him the death of my family: shoot him and burn him, then get rid of this facility."

With that she turned around and walked towards the doors listening as the fallen Oyabun cursed her name and spoke ill of her character and her family, but she paid no attention. Rin Sumiyoshi-Yamaguchi knew who she was. She was a woman who was crazed, sometimes silent sometimes loud, she liked fruit, she loved her boyfriend, she loved her family, and most of all she found she could love herself. As he yelled she heard it come to a halt with a gun shot and a scream of pain. Well, she said they should shoot him and burn him, though she never specified exactly _which_ should come first.

* * *

A few days past and she had just come home from getting groceries and as she was putting them away she heard a buzzing sound that meant someone wanted to come up. Sighing a bit at all the products she had scattered out of their bags on the counter, she brushed the stray hairs from her face, looked at the monitor only to find a head of what could only be silver in the viewfinder. Pushing the button on her end she went back to unpacking and a minute or two later the doors opened to reveal Inutaisho. She smiled at him, told him to have a seat on the couch and wait for her to finish putting things away. He did as she was told and he was sitting sideways so he could see her better and she noticed, sadly, how much Sesshomaru looked like his father. Her smile must have faded because he asked her if anything was wrong, so she pushed the thoughts away and continued on with her chore.

Finally, when she was done she offered him food or drink, which he declined and after getting herself some tea she sat next to him and asked why he had come to visit. At first he said nothing and looked upon her. Rin was a bit nervous at this point because it seemed like he was scanning her emotions and her body for something amiss. Sure, she was still incredibly sad and angry about what had happened, but she was trying to cope better than she had in her earlier days so that she would not fall back into herself. Then as he began to speak, she noticed the slight happiness she saw there, but why would he be happy at all?

"I wish to ask you something Rin."

She gave him no answer which he took as a continuance gesture, all the while another thing she kept with her that Sesshomaru had done.

"I realize that you like it here, but I would also like you to know that we are going to get rid of it. After all, no one has been in this place for long except for you. However if you would like to stay for a bit longer it is perfectly alright with Izayoi and I."

At first it seemed as a surprise but then, as she thought about it, she realized that it was their way of closure and that she should not be that angry, though it did not change the fact that she didn't want to see this place go. It made sense to move on even if it was hard for one to do so. He would not want her moping about and being sad all of the time, but then again she did not want to get rid of the last of his things just yet.

"I would like to stay another week if I could, is that okay?"

He waited a moment to answer; possibly trying to come up with something other than a 'no' is what she thought. She understood that they wanted to close the dark memories of this place, but was it so wrong for her to want to hold on just a bit longer?

"It is fine."

There was one problem with this solution, though she did not want to burden them with a reminder of their son and also another presence to deal with. So, without saying a word she shook her head and it seemed that Inutaisho had caught on to her dampened mood.

"Do not worry about where you would stay, I'm sure with the amount of money Sesshomaru gave you that you will be able to find a very nice place to live, though the family had hoped that you would like to come back to our home and stay for a bit?"

"I would not want to be a burden to you."

He emphasized his words with a wave of his hand.

"Nonsense Rin, you can stay at our home as long as you would like. You would be surrounded by those who wish to care for you and protect you. In fact, I insist you come back and live there as per your desire."

They must have sat there for a good minute or two until she decided.

"Alright, but I want you to know that I could pay you or something like that for my stay I just-"

There was no opportunity to finish because that look came about his face that said she should not push the matter.

"No. You are a Yamaguchi and always will be; therefore you will be treated as such."

That said he scooted in closer to her, unfortunately for her space requests she was sitting up against the armrest of the couch and had nowhere to back up to. He spoke a bit quieter this time which she had learned over the years meant he was going to speak seriously for a moment.

"I would also like to request something else of you Rin."

Again, she said nothing and he continued.

"You know of the Yamaguchi-gumi crest do you not?"

"Of course."

After a sigh he spoke.

"I would like to tell you that the way you had helped my son over these few precious years is monumental Rin. With you he was still the same, but he grew more compassionate (if only a little bit and only towards you it still counted for something), he became more of a man than I had ever known him to be. By god Rin you were able to make him smile and that is certainly a feat. Though he said nothing, I have found out from others that you have helped him get out of situations before. You have protected my son from himself and others and I would like to thank you immensely. Do not think of this as sympathy or regret, but I would be honored for you to adorn your body with our mark if you will? You do not have to, understand that at least, but I confess to you that you had such an impression on my son from the first day you met him and now I see what he saw those years ago."

She was astonished to say the least. This was something that was _not_ to be taken lightly ion any sense of the word. This was a big thing to be able to wear the mark of the Yamaguchi-gumi. However wrong she thought it was for him to praise her for her protection of his son (which had failed horribly because he was no longer here) she felt it an insult not to accept from a man that was clearly honoring her. Also, she felt it would a good deed to do in order to honor Sesshomaru's memory after all, he was a fan of the art form and so was she, what better way to keep him with her than in a symbol he protected and cared greatly about; no a family he cared greatly for. She didn't speak for a moment because she was trying to keep the tears at bay, though she did a shitty job of it when she felt streaks of wetness run down her face.

"As you are honored to ask me, I am honored to accept."

In an instant a smile spread across the old demon's face and she felt like hugging him, but held back on the impulse. Her mind began to race with reasons why he would do this for her, but because she had been practicing and taking her medications on a regular basis, she found it just a smidge better to tell those thoughts to take a back seat and shut the fuck up so as not to ruin the moment!

"I will set up the appointment and everything. You need not worry about anything, only about where you want it placed."

All of that said between them, he proceeded to get up and walk back towards the elevator, but she stopped him when she asked him something. She knew it was a small tone and he was a demon so he would be fine in hearing her.

"May I keep some of his…things?"

He turned slightly to face her and gave a sad smile while looking around the room.

"Rin honey, you take anything you wish to hold on to. However, these may be his things, but they are not him young one."

He was gone as the doors clinked to a close. Inutaisho had a point to his words, but she did not think much of it because she was too busy loosing herself in each one of the snowflakes, much like memories of her times with him they were each unique and free floating in the atmosphere. It was nice to feel the warmth of his hands through even her thoughts. A memory of the first time they had made love in his home and his father had burst through the door to tell him something important and had not thought to scent before he stepped in (as he later told Sesshomaru). Or the time they had gone out for her to get some ice cream at a late night store and after eating it, she threw up on his expensive shoes during the walk back to his home. The memory when she accidentally hit him with a good right hook during her so called "self-defense" training and his lip had started bleeding, which caused her to laugh a bit since she knew it did not hurt him too bad and would heal instantly. All of these brought tears to her eyes, but not tears of sadness, they were happy because of the many years she was able to spend with a soul such as his. This time though she did not wipe them away because she was not ashamed of them and they came quietly as she took a look around the apartment to collect her things and the few things of his that she wanted to keep.

A last look was needed before she severed the ties and the tears ceased. Of course she would prefer to keep his apartment all to herself, but what good would constant reminders be? She would keep only a few things and the rest would be her thoughts, her feelings and the life she led with him and decidedly, when she went to her new home, she would write them all down and maybe this would help her. She'd right down all of her memories in a book just to stay whole and to feel some semblance of sanity again. Everything she was thinking and everything she was feeling began to make her arms move and a song he used to play floated through her mind. She knew every key he pressed and decidedly she danced again with the music and with the scenery as beautiful as snowflakes falling outside the windows there was nothing she could do to stop herself. She may have missed him dearly, but she could do a few more things for him and one of them was to dance and the other…was live.

* * *

It had been two months since she had agreed to stay in the Yamaguchi household and she had gotten a lot of writing done in the time she had been here. Of course she felt the love they had for her, but she also in some ways, regretted her decision. His things were still in his room just as he had left at and sometimes, when everyone else was gone, she would go in and nap on his side of the bed just to get the scent of him and keep her mind fresh with his face since her mind was still the same, just not as severe if she kept up her pills like she had been told be her doctor. The memories were something she needed to keep and to do that she needed a place to think and his room was a place that calmed her ad centered her thoughts. Seeing Kagome come over more often than not was a perfect thing for Inuyahsa. Each day he was growing more and more in love with the girl, but soon their one year anniversary was coming up and Rin knew of the important question he was going to ask her. Naturally Rin knew the answer the girl would give and it was only a matter of a week that they would announce it to her, like she could not see the love they both held for one another in their eyes. She would be happy for them and she would smile, but she would also grow sad because they had happiness and she hoped their love would not end as soon as hers did.

And it was a night like tonight when they had taken their parents out to announce the engagement and everyone was happy. She sat at the table feeling like a damn third wheel when they both grew smiles and spoke about how Inuyasha had asked her. She sat at the end of the table listening to all of the chatter and seeing all the joy run over everyone's faces. She smiled and wished them many happy years together and acted her part. She _was_ happy for them and she _was_ happy that Kagome had finally bagged the man she wanted, but no matter how hard she wished and claimed to be normal in their family she knew, deep down she wasn't. Rin was never one for self-pity, but when she looked around and saw how they were all reacting to the news. They were happy and even Kagome's little brother and her mother had such radiant smiles on their faces; Rin had been received with suspicion, blood, and to their son having a mentally addled girl as a girlfriend and what parent would be happy about that? Everything she was supposed to do, she did that night like she had thought she would do and no one was the wiser.

She sat back watching everything and smiling while her mind was racing with nervous thoughts of what it would have been like to tell them the same thing but with her and Sesshomaru. Would they be this happy for them as well? Would they toast as much as they were doing now, while she sipped on a glass of wine? Time slowed a bit when she let her mind have a little of the situation so she could calm herself. Her hand went to the valley between her breasts were her new bold, black marking was held and she could feel the strength and warmth radiating from it and her peace was realized when she opened her eyes to find everyone eating and talking except Inutaisho who's gaze was fixed on her. She gave him a slight smile and just as she was about to take another sip from her glass she read the words he mouthed down at her.

_Are you okay?_

Mouthing back she gave him a semi-correct 'yes' and a nod of his head later he was getting up and coming down to her side of the table to sit next to her after giving Izayoi a peck on the cheek and a whisper to the ear. He then sat himself down next to Rin and things grew silent for a while down at the other end and everyone ate their chosen desert in peace. Quietly Inutaisho leaned in to speak to her in private so as not to alert anyone else at the table.

"Would you wish to speak to this old demon outside near the small pond in the garden out back?"

At first she was about to decline and the he spoke again of things she could not resist.

"They have a pond with koi and lotus'."

Quietly she agreed and with that they walked away from the table and out the doors towards the back of the place. Obviously he knew the owner well enough to do what he pleased when he walked through the kitchens with Rin behind him. The air hit them briskly though not as cool as the recent days because spring was struggling to be heard this month; however, her sweater provided adequate warmth against it. Noticing the koi pond a few feet ahead she went to it and bent down to look at the sleeping speckled fish was when she heard his voice.

"That day when I came to you at school I noticed the ring you now have on your finger. Did you know that my boy was never afraid of anything, but he had that ring in his pocket for a couple of months before that day? He could not get enough courage to ask you."

To this Rin smiled and sprang back up to stand next to him overlooking the small botanical garden.

"I know that he seemed strong and heartless on the outside, but he was very good to me. I hope he knew I would instantly agree."

The Oyabun then looked down at her from his great height and let off a grin as big as the sun.

"Believe me I told him that, still he was nervous. He never spoke it aloud, but I think he was afraid you would not agree and he would have lost you."

"Never."

The young girl grew a bit worried about why he had brought her out here and so she thought to explain herself.

"I am honest when I say that even though I am not Inuyasha's biggest fan and Kagome is not my friend, that I am immensely happy for them. It is only that when I see them together I hope they last longer than Sesshomaru and I did and that leads to more thoughts about what it would have been like to tell you we were engaged and happy."

With a shake of his head he answered her.

"No need to explain Rin. It is quite fine I assure you. I know you are happy for them, but I know it must also be hard for you to feel completely happy when you were supposed to have the same."

When she went back that night to write in her small brown book about the day's events and more of her memories, she found it to be missing. Looking all around for it she had no sign of it, which seemed odd because she had left it there, on Sesshomaru's computer desk just before she left. Thinking she misplaced it she kicked off her outfit, slid under the covers and breathed in and another odd thought hit her: his room smelled fresh with the scent of him and that was also odd because it had been fading for some time now with his absence. She really was loosing it again wasn't she?

* * *

There was to be an engagement party for the couple the following weekend with an invite for everyone to come and so she would as well. That night she fell asleep to dreams of him and in the middle of the night sought out his room before succumbing to sleep again. The festivities came too soon for Rin. People were over at the house the whole day for the long celebration. For those who were not able to attend the funeral for Sesshomaru they came to her and gave their condolences, but she paid no mind to them at all, this was that caused her to cut the festivities short. After wishing them well again, she returned to her room and awaited the day to end. She was so happy that they had found one another, though she told the guests to leave her alone because today was the day for the happy couple, they kept coming and she retired.

She did not quite mind all that had happened because when night came she went to the study. When she went in she did not expect to find Inutaisho there, but she found him at his desk, as always, but he was reading something and he had a strange look on his face much like…hope? Rin was about to ask him what was wrong, though when he looked up a smile came brightly and quickly to his face. Okay, so what was wrong with him? The young woman decided to go about looking through the books and did not notice when the older demon pocketed part of the paper. The only thing she knew was when he called her name and still with the glow of joy written on his face. Walking over to him when he beckoned her he handed her a note.

"This letter is addressed to you. I just found it in my drawer just a few minutes before you walked in. It's a letter Sesshomaru had for you, but obviously never had the chance to give you. It may be a shock to you but read it closely and I will leave you to think about it."

He was gone in the next few seconds when the paper touched her trembling fingers. A letter he had not given her? Sitting down in the chair he vacated she read each line closely over and over again.

_Rin,_

_You will find enclosed in this letter a plane ticket to the one place you told me you wished to go to. You will find the peace you need. Though I am not there with you, which is why this letter is written, you should go. Peace will follow and you will have a safe home to go to along with everything you would ever need. I arranged this for you in hopes that when I am gone you will find your dream and, at the same time, be safe from the men who would otherwise want you dead because I am no longer there to watch over you. Rin, you must know that I wish for you to be well and at peace and this place will assure that. Be safe, listen to what my father has to tell you and chose what you wish and know that something special awaits you if you should decide to go._

_Always, S._

Surprised was the last thing she was after she had read the note. Looking at the ticket that was in her hand she found a flight to Italy looking back at her. At first she just sat there, but then as she began to think she decided that she would think more about this in their room. However, she was met with Inutaisho in the middle of the hallway and as he asked her what was wrong she allowed him to read the note. After he was finished he told her he would keep the ticket and the note and she could take as long as she needed in deciding what to do, but he did leave her with a small piece of information before he left.

"You may find this odd, but Sesshomaru always thought about you. He was not the most expressive by any means, but everything he did was for you. Now, you may chose what you wish just remember that he wanted the best for you and this peace you seek can be found where my son has decided to lead you."

Patterns on the ceiling started to emerge and she was glad about it. Now she could think in silence, though the only thing she thought about was his words. There would be a home in Italy waiting for her is she chose to go there? It sounded fantastic and as she heard the talking and laughter downstairs she could not help but smile and realize that just maybe she could get a break from this world and just maybe she might be able to find some semblance of peace. In the end the Oyabun was right: he only wanted what was best for her when he had been alive and now he was giving her a chance to find silence and peace and she would take it. All she needed to accomplish now was the task of breaking the news to the family. Sure, it would be something new and she might even regret it, but it was still a choice she wanted to make and it was a possibility that while she was there she might find out just how to deal with her future and her place in the world.

Two days later she had slight regret that she would not be seeing the marriage, but she guessed Inutaisho had told them both about her needing peace but not about the note. It was a hasty decision she was making, but being here she felt stifled and stressed out, so her decision was made. She was sure he did not tell anyone what he had found and told everyone just that she wanted some time to herself and obviously they agreed with him because when she was leaving there were goodbyes and Izayoi cried a little. Kagome and Inuyasha had stayed up late into the night to receive all of the well wishers, so they were still sleeping and Rin had asked Izayoi to tell them about her departure and to wish them good luck. Of course Rin would not attend the wedding though she would be sending them a card filled with wishes and green. Wishing everyone a farewell Inutaisho drove her to the Tokyo airport at five in the morning she felt like it was a spur of the moment kind of thing, though it did indeed feel that way it was the right thing to do for herself. And so when they arrived there they waited for the gate to open for her to board, which happened in about another thirty minutes or so, so they sat for a bit in companionable quietness until he was the first to speak.

"The Sumiyoshi-rengo are killing one another over the new Oyabun. They wanted you back because of your blood line, but since you have not taken the seat they fight for it."

There she sat listening to the coming and going's over the intercom system of the flights boarding and departing but nothing he said made her feel much of anything.

"The empire my father built on loyalties and truth is dead and I want nothing to do with it. I realize it would be a great asset for you to have both under your name, but I hope you respect my decision. I wish not to turn my back on anything in my life because it makes me who I am. Although, I turn my back on my rightful position I also cannot forget (even if it is fake it was real for me for seventeen years) the Minamoto in me.

She laughed a bit as she thought of what to say next.

"I guess, in a way, I'm three lineages but I have to say being a Yamaguchi is the most memorable and cherished of all."

Looking over at the rows of seats with people talking on phones, reading magazines and papers and even mothers playing with the children in their laps she could not help be realize she was the only one not excited about her up coming trip. Sure, she would be excited when she got there, but as of right now being surrounded by lots of people who were happy and had lives she did not was not her idea of a good time. She would be on a plane for hours to get there and having never been on a plane she had always wished that if they went anywhere that Sesshomaru would be there with her to hold her hand as they lifted off the runway. Everything had changed and she would just have to get used to it. Inutaisho must have noticed the sad expression on her face and so he addressed it.

"I know you must be nervous, but you will do well. I know you will be fine. Rin, you are so much more than you think you are and let me tell you that bravery is one of your best qualities."

"Thank you, Inutaisho."

Quietness led the rest of the time as they sat side by side waiting for the flight to be called. Just fifteen minutes later she heard the intercom come over with her flight number and as she picked up her carry-on from the floor she found the demon already standing next to her, so she walked down the tiled hallway pushing her way through those in the way and she knew he was behind her. Though she did not like goodbyes because they always seemed to end with loss, she gave stood next to the side and waited for everyone else to hand the woman their flight pass while she said a personal farewell to a demon that had helped her these past few months. Watching she noticed with his immense height and godly demeanor she noticed that he did not have to push people out of his way; they merely got out of his space as soon as they realized they were in it. When he stepped up to her with all the glory of the Oyabun that he was, dressed in a gorgeously tailored grey suit, he stood silent for a while.

"Rin, my son chose wonderfully when you came into all of our lives and it is my hope that you will at least call once in a while or write. If you ever need anything you be sure to contact me, no matter what you need or want. Now, go on and be safe."

At first she gave the woman her ticket and as she made her way to the terminal she felt a rush of something that she had not felt for the old demon. Now that she was about to leave and not see anyone for a while she felt a tinge of regret. Now that she knew who he truly was she wanted to thank him in some way, but knew that a 'thank you' was just not enough. So, she ran right back out with the lady shouting that she get back to the terminal, she paid no mind and when Inutaisho saw her he was indeed surprised. However, he was even more surprised when she rushed to him and stood there looking up at him for a while, then she did something she had never done: she willingly made contact with a person besides Sesshomaru; she now trusted another. Rin had given him a hug as best she could with the one arm that was free of carrying a bag and after a bit of astonishment on his part, he hugged her back. As he leaned away form her and broke their contact he smiled down at her, turned her towards the plane and pushed her a bit.

"Now, as I said moments ago get on that plane."

Waving a bit she gave a smile to him as well and then she was off. Having no idea as to what she might find when she got there she made her way onto the plane and found her seat. An older couple sat next to her and spoke quickly in what she recognized was Italian, so she figured she might as well be attentive as to what they were saying if she wanted to communicate when she got there. At first she was scared when the plane took off and she gripped the seat as tightly as possible, but soon she calmed down and to stay calm she closed her eyes, listened to them talk beautifully to one another and before she knew it they leveled out and so did her sleeping.

* * *

Embarrassing was what she would have to call it when you get woken up because everyone else has left the plane and the stewardess has to wake you. Profusely apologizing for her behavior the woman on the plane just gave her a smile and Rin took her bag from the over head, stepped off of the plane and made her way out of the terminal. As soon as she stepped out it was a buzz of activity with more young people on phones, others awaiting planes and even more flashing pictures of everything they saw. This place was simply amazing and now she had to find her way to wherever Sesshomaru had told her to go. As she was waiting for her luggage, which was comprised of two suitcases, she looked down on the note he had given her with the address that she needed to get to and hopefully someone would be able to assist her this afternoon.

Slinging her bag over her left shoulder and pulling along with the now two more luggage cases she felt like a fucking pack mule. As of right now it was no too bad, but then again when people keep bumping into you without so much as an 'excuse me' she was getting pissed. The fact that she was wearing heels and a dress did not help the situation either when the wheels of the portable luggage kept scrapping up the back of her leg when someone in front of her would stop to wave or talk to the person next to them as everyone pushed to make it out of the front doors of the airport. She thought it would be better outside since the congestion would lessen, but it only served to prove her wrong because the heat was unbearable. It was chilly in Tokyo when she left and now she was dry and hot as hell dragging to cases of luggage and had one bag that always kept trying to fall off of her shoulder with the honking of horns and the loud talking of everyone around her. Blowing a piece of hair out of her face she knew she must look like the wayward tourist, but to hell with Sesshomaru right now, if he were hear he would be getting an earful right now regardless of how amusing she knew he would think it to be.

Making her way up to the taxi area she found that competing for a taxi in Italy was just as hard as it was in Tokyo. After fifteen minutes of people stepping in front of her when she successfully hailed one, she walked herself and her luggage down a bit from everyone and ground her heel into the pavement with anger and there she stood for a few minutes until a cab pulled up next to her. At first she did not take notice because she knew someone would step in front of her and take it so she did not jump on it right away. Then, when she saw a man's hand come down to grab her things, she looked up and the man took her luggage and as she was about to protest he put it in the trunk of the car and grabbed her other bag and did the same as well. Her mood changed in that instant because at least this man was courteous enough to help her out. With that she smiled at him and he pointed her to the cab, which she got in and her started the car again and they were off into traffic.

"Thank you, sir."

Trying was what you could call it when she butchered the Italian she had learned from the couple on the plane and the little bit she had learned from Sesshomaru months and months ago. Okay, so she did not do it well enough but at least she was trying. The man in front laughed a bit and spoke English. Thank god she knew that one well enough from all the years of schooling.

"It's okay. You don't have to speak Italian. Now, where you need to go?"

Searching through her carry on bag she ruffled down towards the bottom to find the folded piece of paper and as she unfolded it to the right size she handed it to him when they hit a crosswalk and he had to stop for the obvious tourists who were wearing 'I Love Italy' and cameras around their necks with a tour guide leading them. As he looked down at the paper and looked back at her he put it down in the passenger seat and smiled at her through the mirror.

"This is in the hills of town and will take while to get there. You want to pay all the way?"

She was surprised because she thought he would just get a small house or even an apartment in the city, but she wanted to see her dream realized and she wanted to go where he had planned, so that was where she would go.

"Yes."

"Alright. You know it take much money and I only able to take you to main road, then you walk rest of way."

Again, her day could not get any worse so she just smiled and shook her head. It was around an hour later that they had left the main roads and were now traveling the countryside. Winding through hills of green bushes and tilled earth she starred out her window in delight with the simple homes and gorgeous landscape.

"It's beautiful here."

Rin did not expect the driver to speak to her so freely, but he did and she did not feel so off put by it, which was a first since she never warmed up to people quickly (except Sesshomaru of course).

"Yes it is. You have family out here; I see no camera or one luggage, so you must know Italy?"

She could not help but chuckle a bit.

"No, I have no idea about Italy except for what I have seen in books and read. I have always wanted to go here. Then, someone important to me passed on from this life and he told me to come to this address in a note, the one you have in the front seat there."

He looked solemn for a moment.

"I sorry about the friend you have, but I must tell you my great grandmother used to live where you tell me to go and it is good place, very good place. You like it."

"I hope."

The conversation ended with that and she quickly fell asleep in the cab, it must have been from the jet lag. It was indeed easier to go from east to west, but she had never flown before and it kicked her ass. Next thing she knew the trunk closed and she was brought to an awakening by the thump it made when it closed. Looking around she noticed they had stopped at the bottom of a large hill and the man was waiting for her to get out. So, rubbing her eyes a bit and grabbing the paper from the front seat, she stepped out and found that she was surrounded, again, with hills of green and earth., but this time it was more spread out than before. As she looked out she smiled again and even though the heat was worse here because there were no trees in sight, the sight alone made her sigh and feel good.

"I only get you this far. I have go back to work or I would help."

Knowing she had made him drive out of his way, she paid the man his large fee, which she did not mind at all, and gave him a bit extra. She thanked him many times and even once in Italian just to show her hospitality and then he was off in a cloud of dust and she was left looking up at the hill she had to drag her and her things up and down until she found the right number; good thing these houses had little posts near the head of their land so she would know the house numbers. So, grabbing and situating all of her things she mad her way up the hill in the sun, with luggage, and heels but still this beat being miserable and sad back in Tokyo. Rin had been walking for god knows how long (since she did not wear a watch) and her feet were paining her already, but still she walked on. Even when a fucking wheel broke on one of her luggage and she had to scrap it along the dirt path with vigor, she kept on after spouting a few not so friendly words here and there.

Having walked what she assumed to be at least three hills, one valley and up another hill she finally made it. The sun beat down on her harshly and she was hot, but she would deal with it well enough on her own since she had done well so far. Looking down at the post in the ground she had to blow on it a bit to get the accumulating dirt from the road off of it and sure enough it was the same number written on the piece of paper. However, she just hoped she had the right home. As she turned to look at it and made her way up the branch of dirt pathway she was taken aback at how beautiful it was. Sure, it was like every other house she had spied on the opposite hills, but this one was hers and it made all the difference. The house was simple and a pale white so as to ward off the harsh sun that beat down on it, next to the house was a single tall tree and it was small but also quaint and with beautiful architecture. This home looked like it was straight of an Italian villa home magazine and it was exactly how she pictured this place that she wanted to be. On either side of her were rows and rows of bushes, looking around she noticed berries of some sort, which she guessed would have to be wine grapes, hanging and bending down she plucked a delicate fruit and the flavor exploded in her mouth. She was sweaty, dirty, and hot dragging sullied luggage but this scene made her happy. Already she knew she would love it here.

Finally when she reached the shade of the porch she left her luggage there, set her bag on the wicker chair that was on the porch near one of the windows of the house and proceeded inside. It had all the common amenities like a kitchen area just large enough for four people and a television. It had what looked to be one bathroom and three bedrooms. It was just as gorgeous one the inside as it was on the outside. The windows were open and breathing in the warm air, she wiped her hand across her forehead, laughed at the trail of dirt she found left on her hand and headed to the kitchen area. Finding the faucet she looked around for a glass and upon finding one she took a sip of ice cold water as she looked out the window in front of the sink at all the green life she found before her and that was the moment she smiled. That is she smiled until she heard a voice she never thought she would hear ever again.

"It has been awhile, but I am glad you made it."

The glass clattered down to the sink and it was a good thing it was plastic so it would not shatter. Odd that she would be thinking that even when she turned around to find a man that looked exactly like her Sesshomaru standing in front of her only a few feet away. Surveying him she found him with no shoes, a simple pair of blue jeans and a crisp white button-up shirt. The silver hair and gorgeous eyes were the same and even the tattoos she spied through the sheer fabric of his shirt were the same and she knew it was him, but there was one problem that she felt needed to be addressed to her ailing mind (that of which had obviously conjured this being to trick her) as she felt herself succumbing to a faint:

"You're supposed to be dead."

* * *

Upon waking up she groaned and moaned trying to remember and clear her head at the same time. It was not a good idea because her eyelids felt heavy and a headache itched to begin at the back of her eyes. She heard someone rustling around and shot up in bed ready to fend them off when the curtains were closed to ward of the rays of the sun and someone she knew very well sat next to her on the bed. How the hell did he get here? It must have been a mistake her mind was playing. Decidedly she addressed this allowed trying to get him to go away.

"He can't be here! He's fucking dead."

She heard him growl, but then again her mind had also come up with more extravagant things than a man whom she knew. She needed her pills and fast. Getting out of bed she wobbled a bit as frantically she searched for her luggage in the darkened room. Again and again she repeated to herself that she needed to find her pills and he kept telling her no and she would scream that she needed her pills and still her mind would say no. Tears streamed down her face as she began to cry and yell that she needed them and that was when she felt arms wrap around her and as she struggled he spoke.

"I am not dead. I know you think I am, but I am just as real as you. You are not making me up and you do not need those pills to make me go away because I will do no such thing. Calm down before you hurt yourself."

He did not know, but she knew that he did not have to explain himself because as soon as she felt his hand touch her, she knew it was no dream. Rage filled her next actions and she launched a punch right to his mouth and as it connected she leapt away from him. When he stumbled she took the chance to scream at him and come at him again and again, even when he held her arms at bay to stave off her movements she still yelled and cried freely.

"You left me a note! You left me a note? I hate you, you bastard! Leave me alone! How could you leave me like that?"

Sure, she was pissed and still tired from the trip but she was also tired from her life's struggles. He had left her a note to console her and it just was not enough. He began to stroke her back and her cries died down to muffled noises as he led her back to the bed she had previously vacated in a flash and though she was pissed off more than anything, she also took the time to listen to his words and to hear his voice. It was a voice and a touch she never expected to feel again and no matter how much she hated him for what he had done she reveled in the revamped feelings and memories she was having. It was nice to be in his arms again as he whispered his ask of forgiveness and his explanation in her ear to calm her and at the same time show her his reasoning.

"Rin, you must understand something. I knew that if I were to still be alive, while I was healing in the hospital you would be a prime target, just like before. So, I made the decision to make no contact with anyone and look what happened to you, nothing; my plan had worked. I regret making you feel such pain, though you must at least try to understand my logic. I did what was best for us at the time."

Hearing his words, now she felt kind of bad but still she was pissed and she let him know.

"I cried for…I have no idea how long over you! I still do.

Turning over and away from him she looked over at her luggage and, on top of one, she saw her little brown book. So, he had kept it? He had been the one to creep into the house to take it, so he had planned this and had invaded her life without telling her he was alive? How she wanted to yell at him, oh how she wanted to, but she fought no more. Curling into herself she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before she spoke.

"I wish to tell you how much you hurt me with this lie. I wish to tell you that I hate you and that I never want to see you again, but you also know I could never do such a thing. I'm not fighting anymore; I'm through with it. I don't want to fight with you, I don't want to fight my mental illnesses, I don't want to fight my past or my future."

She laid there for a moment in silence with him staring holes into her back. Finally, deciding to face a man she once thought to be dead, she turned again and faced him. Admittedly, she could not open her eyes to him because she was still pissed, but for now it would do.

"I want to live right now. I'm so tired of fighting Sesshomaru, so very tired of it. All my life I have fought to keep my family, to keep my sanity, and to keep you. Most recently I fought to clear the demons of my past and I am done. I need a few years to set myself straight before I go back to your world. I know it may not be what you want, but it is what I want right now and I hope you can respect it. Though I understand your reasoning I wish to just sleep. Is that okay?"

Hearing him about to get up she knew he would leave her. Strangely enough she was angry at him, but she wanted him to stay at the same time.

"I respect your words and I'll leave you."

With a simple 'no' she heard him cease all movement. Still, without opening her eyes to the new world, she felt him slip into bed next to her and hold her like he used to do when they were together. Silently, she cried and she hated it because she never had cried this much in such little amount of time, but nothing could help it. He must have felt her tears padding down on his skin and clothes, but he never wavered from his position and he did not strive to make too much contact either; he gave her just enough space, like always. After a while she woke to the smell of rain in the air, though she heard nothing she knew it would come. Also, she found she was still cradled against his strong, warm chest and nothing could help the smile that came to her face. By the beat of his heart under her palm she knew he was awake and without looking up she addressed him.

"You came into the house that day and took my journal. Did you read it?"

With a soft and deep voice he answered her simply.

"Yes."

Snuggling closer she sighed a bit before trying to drift off to sleep again.

"I wrote down everything so when I go into an episode someone can read it to me and maybe it will help me get out of myself faster. Don't say it won't happen again because it will and there's no use in denying it. However, I want to know something.

Silence met her so she continued.

"Are you some type of farmer now?"

She smiled a bit when she heard the tinge of laughter in his voice. He owned damn wine plants now, so what was the deal?

"No, I agreed to let the wineries around here continue to grow their crops and add it to their salaries when the picking season starts each year, as long as they agreed to give me a bit of the profit and a few bottles they can work the land as they have always done."

Finding that she playing with the fabric on his shirt she stopped, remembered she was supposed to be mad at him, and ceased.

"Oh, I see you still have the business savvy of a yakuza and future Oyabun."

He growled a bit and suddenly left the bed. Thinking it was her fault she still said nothing, because what she said was not offensive in anyway, so why should he be mad? Though by the look on his face he was not mad, but he must have felt the resentment in her about what he had done previously, that he also left the house. The next two days were filled with many silences between them and it was just like they were starting to date all over again. She the crazed one and he the closed off one and she could not help but be a bit pissed at the situation. Finally, they found one another again and both were being resentful and angry at the other for not understanding. Such a petty thing to get between them and she knew it, however she would not be the first one to apologize because she had been hurt by his rash decision so much. Knowing she still loved him her anger cooled and eventually she found herself outside, sitting on the steps, and in her yellow dress that she had come here in. Sighing she felt the heaviness of the rain laden air and she knew today it would rain. Again, she did some serious thinking and the moment her mind changed was when she felt him sit down beside her and read one of the passages from her book to her, sure it was odd to hear your own thoughts read by someone else, but that moment changed things drastically.

"_This has been a major reason for our mutual understanding of one another__…__but I know that I have a protector… who cares about me and only wishes me well in life. With my own disregard as to how bloody his hands may get, they are still the hands I know; those I can count on to make me whole again."_

With that he left her alone to think and soon she found herself without him and in the bedroom they had shared for the past two days. Her mind ran amok with thoughts about what they had had and nothing had ever changed how she felt about him, not even his recent actions, but still she needed to think and think she did.

* * *

So, she laid there with her arms spread out at her sides and vehement thoughts grasped her mind one after another of all of the times they had spent together. She even looked at the ring he had given her before he had disappeared and twirled it around on her finger thinking things through. There were good times and bad ones, but in general she still couldn't hate him and with that thought she leapt from the bed and ran through the home yelling his name. About to yell again Rin finally burst through the front door and halted suddenly as the door shook behind her. There he was, in between the rows of fruit looking down at them and then strolling along until he decided to stop again. Smiling she ran after him and her legs were licked by the vines sticking out but she paid no mind to them and just as she was to connect with his body, he turned around and she then decided to jump into his chest. He coughed a bit and stumbled back from the force, with which she had collided with him, but still he held firm and her arms and legs wrapped around him and she cried into the side of his neck.

When she had calmed down a bit she felt his hand come down to grab the nape of her neck to make her look at him. When she met his eyes she wanted to smile though as of right now she couldn't she still needed questions answered. Then, she laid eyes on his lip and felt a bit remorseful about what she had done. After all, he did say that it was for her well being and that could be seen through his previous actions, but he was here now and had lived and that was what mattered most. She touched her finger to his lip and that was when he decided to speak up.

"It is quite alright, already it is healing up. I did deserve it."

And that was when her smile came back to her. Then thunder became louder and the rain began to pad down onto the earth. She looked down to find the dirt polka dotted with dark spots as the rain began to come down copiously as she laughed. He growled a bit, though he soon got over it as she kept laughing.

"Do you like it here, lovely?...May I still call you that?"

She acted as if she were thinking it over and then agreed by nodding her head up and down.

"I love it here and yes you can call me anything you want."

The lightening dashed its way across the sky and the thunder rumbled the ground they stood on and neither took much notice because they were too wrapped up in each other. She still could not believe that he was right in front of her; that it was his arms around her and the touch of his hands on her thighs. Rin watched the rain glide down the contours of his eyebrows and nose and her smile widened. She gave him a light kiss on the lips then pulled back just enough to whisper to him.

"I missed you, ya know."

"I do."

Silence reigned for a bit before he spoke again.

"I hope you agree to marry me in a few weeks time. I have a man who will do just that if you would like. All I need is you there and we can-

He was never able to finish because she planted a bruising kiss of happiness on his lips just to show him how much she loved the idea. Finally, she was going to be a happy and fulfilled woman. Correction, _they_ were both going to be happy and she was sure of it.

"I suppose that is a definite yes then. Now I have something else to tell you."

She looked at him curiously before he answered her expression.

"I highly enjoy how well this thin material is clinging to your thighs."

Rin could see that there was not much of a joke going on there because he gave no smirk. Though he had a dissembling attitude, she could tell he was enjoying their banter because even the corners of his eyes crinkled a bit. She leaned in to whisper next to his ear thinking to be seductive.

"Well, don't worry about that. You'll have your time later, but I will say to you now that I love you very much."

"How about we get inside from this weather and you let me relieve you of your soaked clothing."

She giggled warmly as he walked her back towards their house she could not help but ask him questions and even go as far as to tell him how and what things she wanted to do. Being in his arms again was like being given a breath of air after being reluctantly submerged under water for a few minutes and almost drowning, with the burning sensation filling your lungs and your every thought leaning towards death, but all of the sudden all of that being released with one big breath of cool oxygen. He was her bit of air in a world filled with water with the weight of her memories holding her head under and now she was free to do as she pleased…she hoped. And that was why she was telling him all of these things, to make sure he understood her and that she understood him for the last time. Looking down at him from her position in his arms she found a reason to smile.

"I want to go back to school. I don't care where exactly but I wanna go to college. I want to take ballet classes. I want to relax and have good days and I want to go to the market and learn how to make dinner a little bit better and I want to learn Italian so I can speak to people when you're gone and I wanna-"

He stopped in his tracks and placed a hand casually over her mouth to get her to stop talking.

"As you wish, you will receive. Although, for your safety you will have to get a new name and records for school purposes and protection correct?"

She shook her head in affirmation and then proceeded to speak again as he went up the steps to their home. Leaning her head onto his shoulder her words were simple but loaded ones.

"How long will we stay here Sesshomaru?"

"A couple of years I suppose. I do have to go back Rin; however, as of now no time soon will we have to leave, that I promise you."

Of course it was a bit of a bad side to being here. She knew they would have to go back sometime, but as for worrying about it now there was no point. She would finally do something she had never done…she would not be worrying about the future or moving back until she absolutely had to. As for right now she would make her life worth every second and hoped to do the very best she could in those terms for him as well.

"Does your father know that you are alive?"

A subtle shake of his head proved her right and she paid no attention as they headed towards the bedroom. Then, something came to her mind and she just had to ask for her curiosity got the best of her.

"Curiosity will not leave me, so I have to ask you: how did you survive?"

He only gave her a smirk and his words told her that one day he might explain it to her, but the best thing was that he was here and that was what mattered.

"It is a hell of a thing to wake up in a steel, cold cabinet in a morgue."

Her laughter could not be helped and eventually she calmed a bit even though it was nice to hear him joke she still had other questions to be answered. With the next sentence she chose to whisper it, for saying it allowed would make no difference because only the two of them existed during this moment.

"Does your father know you're going to marry me formally in just a few weeks time?"

As her back hit the soft green cotton sheets he grinned down at her which caused her to smile up at him. He had already begun working on the buttons to her yellow summer dress when she giggled.

"In a way he knows we are happy and I am sure my father will be able to figure the rest of our time here by himself. Are you happy?"

She stopped his quick actions on her blouse by placing a hand over his own until he looked up into her eyes as she spoke.

"More than I have ever been in my life. Thank you for this and for being who you are."

His grin had come back with a sinister vengeance and it was what she loved.

"You are very welcome lovely, though I wish to also say that in a few moments it is only to get better."

And as she smiled down at him she watched as he suddenly stopped and wondering what was wrong she looked at him only to find something she never thought she would: he looked exactly like she did when her mind wondered. Okay, so this was something she never in a million years thought she might see, but now here she was witnessing it. His fingers were gliding over the black symbol over and over again like he could not get enough of what he was seeing and feeling. Sesshomaru looked both mesmerized and perplexed, but these emotions culminated into one when he looked at her with astonishment. It was like she had done something completely honorable and it seemed to make him very happy. Still he had not spoken to her until she spoke first.

"Is it alright, you know…for me to have it?"

At first he only shook his head but then he looked back down at her marking and then returned to her.

"Of course. Father let you have this?"

And still he would not stop touching it as he spoke to her. She knew it would be a good or bad thing; however she did not expect to find this much happiness. So, exactly what was it about this whole thing that he found so utterly astonishing?

"Yes. I thought you were dead and I was depressed. Inutaisho came over and helped me and he asked if I would like to have one to remember you by and also for me to know that as long as your emblem was etched into my skin, I was a Yamaguchi; I would always be loved and cared for by any member if I were to ever need it."

"Everyone who receives it gets the same speech from my father. You should feel honored."

For a moment she said nothing as she ran her hand through his hair.

"I am very honored."

Again, he said nothing for a while until he bent down to place his lips against the valley of her breasts where the image was held.

"I am glad you consider it as much. I would like you to know that I am honored as well; that you would consider doing this for me and also that you would choose to be part of my family in name and in blood. Of course you are not biologically linked to us, but this marking shows to others that you belong to the Yamaguchi and that the Yamaguchi belong to you. You have accepted us and me into your life and you wish to be a part of everything that I am a part of. Rin, this is wonderful. You have no idea how I feel right now."

Lifting his head up, she smiled and stroked his face.

"If you cannot tell me how you feel, then why don't you show me?"

A smirk lit his features and he touched her mark again before answering.

"I believe that to be a good idea, now as for this new addition to your body, I will be sure to give it just as much attention as I do all others."

Even her own laughter made her happier in the same moment when she saw a smile light his face, even in the darkness she knew he was just as comfortable and as content as she was. Now this was what she called living and she would relish it for as long as it lasted. Then, she heard those most cherished words whispered against her wet-kissed skin, like those he had spoken so long ago.

"Is it so wrong to want to keep you forever?"

Like nostalgia of the greatest sense she felt a tear slid down her face, or maybe it was a stray drop of water from her hair, but it didn't matter because either way she was so happy to have him back in her life. Smiling through her words she only had one thing to say in response.

"No, but I want to give forever a try, don't you?"

His only answer was a pleasuring grin and a pinch to her side that made her laughter filter through the room even when the storm raged outside. As his last thoughts before his 'death' he could only hope that he received a reprieve with his angel. For the demon could be befallen a second chance to rest with the angel, lest the angel taint the demon as well.

* * *

Again, for the tenth time that day, he pulled out the letter on the iodized sheet of paper. It had been folded up neatly and placed in the back of the desk drawer so that no one would find it but him. Unfolding it and pressing out each of the wrinkles it bared, he took his time before he read it. The whole time he had known Rin without Sesshomaru he had seen her pain, but when he had 'found' this letter he knew she would be alright. When he sent her on that plane to Italy he knew she would be on the road to her freedom and to her sanity. Knowing she would still be fine, he looked upon the note and sighed with relief. His son would be fine, but until he came home he was not to let anyone else know. It was a burden to keep, though he would uphold his son's word. After all, when he came back he would lead and one always listened to their Oyabun.

_Father, _

_First, I would like to apologize for not telling you that I am indeed not dead. Obviously by the small date of this note it was written after my supposed demise. I had to stay quite to keep Rin safe and I hope you can understand this reasoning. As for everything else, I would like to extend a sincere thank you for your efforts in taking care of Rin while I am away from her. I know that she is probably in pain, but I would like you to know that she will not be so for much longer. You see, along with this note there is another with plane tickets in it. That note is only for Rin and I would expect nothing less of you to keep the promise of not looking at it as well; it is for her eyes only for the less you know the better in case someone starts looking for me or Rin. Also, I would like to ask that you not tell anyone of this note and that you get rid of it as soon as you can because I wish not for others to know that I am alive until I come back. _

_She will be safe and she will be happy,_

_S._

He had walked downstairs to the fireplace that was set in one of the back rooms. He had passed the kitchen where his wife, his son, and their new daughter-in-law were laughing with one another. Finally, both his sons were happy and in love and on their own. As he stood looking at the letters of his son's handwriting he imagined where he was at the time he wrote it, what he was thinking or even if he was with Rin at the time. Sesshomaru said they were happy and he believed him. Sure, Rin would be shocked but she would not forego something she was so familiar with and someone she loved; they would be alright. He heard Izayoi's voice from the doorway and he knew she was stepping closer to him, so lightly he tossed the paper into the fire knowing that it was the last time he would have contact with his son for a great while. As he watched as the paper seized up and curled in on itself from the heat as the flames licked the ink on the paper and the flares turned black for a split second, his wife stepped next to him and broke his thoughts.

"Honey, dinner is almost ready you should come eat with us."

Placing a comforting hand on her shoulder he smiled.

"I'll be there in a minute or two I was just thinking some things through."

Before she left she kissed him on the cheek and spoke lightly.

"I miss them both. Do you think Rin is alright by herself?"

At that he couldn't help but turn away from the ashes of the paper and grin at her.

"I know she is. Definitely."

* * *

A/N: So, how did you like the ending…good enough? I hope the hell it is. I know that this chapter was really long, though I liked it a lot. It is the longest chapter by far and I loved doing it, hell I loved doing the whole story! And with that I leave you do other things and read other fics, just remember to send me a review and tell me your thoughts on this ending! All together this sucker was around 1,155 KB! HOLY SHIT! I didn't know I could type that much! Thank you to those who have read along and have stayed with me! Love ya all! Sadly, this is to be my LAST Inu story! :-(

For and FYI the book I got a lot of references from is called Yakuza: Japan's Criminal Underworld by David E. Kaplan & Alec Dubro it's really good and anyone else who is interested should buy it. Lots of info and a good read if you're into history and all that.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


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